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Hyundai took VIPs to the Speedway to

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The twist? Their performances were all

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powered by the all-electric Hyundai IONIQ

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Learn more at hundayusa.com or call

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562-314-4603. Just

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a reminder to subscribe. Enjoy the

0:40

episode, friends. Okay,

0:42

here we go. Rolling on everything. Technology's

0:45

gonna be my friend today, not my

0:47

enemy. I've got a good

0:49

theme, great stories, and an amazing

0:51

guest co-host. Welcome

0:54

back to another episode of Two Hot Takes,

0:56

you guys. I'm your host, Morgan, and today

0:58

we are joined by Ian Hecox from

1:00

Smosh. From Smosh. The brain, the

1:03

everything behind Smosh. I don't know

1:05

about brain, but sure, yeah. A

1:08

guy from Smosh, yeah. Okay. You

1:11

started it in 2005? Yeah,

1:13

the YouTube channel was started in 2005. The

1:17

website was started by Anthony in 2002. Wow.

1:21

Yeah, so predated YouTube, but yeah,

1:23

we were- Isn't that insane? Truly.

1:26

Like when you think about it, you're like,

1:28

what the hell? That's

1:31

insane, actually. Yeah, we're about to

1:33

celebrate 19 years, probably by the

1:35

time that this comes out, maybe

1:37

we've had already celebrated 19 years.

1:40

That's amazing. But I mean, yeah, I

1:42

was at a chicken joint

1:44

the other day and a full

1:46

grown ass man came up to me and

1:48

was like, you were my childhood. And I

1:51

was like, dude, you are a full

1:53

grown adult. And

1:55

then you think to yourself, you're like, am I getting

1:58

old? Yeah,

2:01

I don't really think about it. I

2:03

don't really think about myself getting old,

2:07

but I do think about the time span

2:12

from when we first started making YouTube

2:14

videos. And that's crazy.

2:17

Like I don't even know what Reddit was

2:19

in 2005. Like

2:22

I don't even think it, it probably

2:24

did exist, but there were

2:26

so many other websites. I feel like

2:28

Reddit's kind of like the last website

2:30

that exists. Everything else is

2:33

just social media. It's the final frontier.

2:35

Truly. It's the wild West. Yeah,

2:37

thank God we still have it. Reddit,

2:39

I love you. I have had some

2:42

really good experiences with Reddit lately and

2:44

there's been a couple of stories on

2:46

Patreon that these people have truly been

2:49

saved thanks to Reddit and being able

2:51

to write in and get neutral, unbiased

2:54

advice. I hope we can

2:56

provide some of that today. Oh,

2:59

well, you know, you should

3:01

have had a different host on if you wanted

3:03

a- Unbiased? Good unbiased advice. I

3:05

come with a lot of bias. I'm biased

3:07

on a daily basis. Yeah. It's

3:09

just, it's hard to escape. You know, you try, you live,

3:12

you learn, you try to grow, but yeah,

3:15

these stories, they can pinch a

3:17

nerve. Yeah, well, I am afflicted

3:19

with a straight

3:21

white guy and

3:24

therefore I tend to play

3:26

devil's advocate. Oh

3:29

my God, everyone's just screaming already.

3:31

Yeah, so I just want

3:33

to put that out there right

3:35

now. I might say something out of

3:37

pocket and then walk it back, but

3:39

I'll try not to play too much devil's advocate because I

3:42

know that's very annoying. Well, some

3:45

of these might need it though. Today's theme

3:47

I have is they can't be serious. Like

3:49

these people are off their

3:51

rocker. Someone might not be OP, could

3:53

be people involved, but like they're

3:56

serious. They're actually serious. No,

3:58

no. Okay.

4:00

So there's some crazy ones.

4:02

Some deeply unserious people. People

4:05

are troubled. You know, we see it on a

4:08

daily basis. People are genuinely troubled and that's today.

4:10

And we're here to fix them. Everyone.

4:13

Okay, let's dive in. Let's do it. How

4:17

bad do I want

4:19

to start? Yeah.

4:40

Do you want to start heavy? Just

4:43

going hard or ease in? I

4:45

kind of want to be weird. This one,

4:47

I'm really curious what you think. Let's

4:50

do it. Okay. It's coming from r

4:52

slash am I wrong? It's 10 days

4:54

old titled am I wrong for feeling

4:56

hurt and violated over my husband's work

4:58

party? My husband is

5:00

a senior partner at a banking firm and

5:03

the partners like to get together every once

5:05

in a while and socialize, which shouldn't be

5:07

an issue. But in the past, there has

5:09

been some pretty serious bad behavior makes us

5:11

fun, drunken antics. He told

5:14

me he was going to be attending a game

5:16

night thrown by his coworker, Valerie at a hotel

5:19

because she didn't want them in her

5:21

house due to past behavior. Oh. I

5:24

felt a bit apprehensive as I've never liked

5:26

Valerie. She is a total pick me, but

5:28

I told him to go and have fun.

5:32

Well, the next day I got a message from

5:34

one of his other coworkers wives, Lisa, asking

5:36

if I knew about the game they had played. Apparently,

5:39

all of the men stole

5:42

a pair of their wives panties and

5:45

everyone had to guess which panty

5:47

belonged to who. To

5:50

me, this felt hugely violating.

5:53

It also felt weird as Valerie is the

5:55

only woman and has a

5:57

male partner. So therefore she was

5:59

exhausted. I asked my

6:01

husband about it and he said it wasn't a big

6:03

deal. He admitted he did take a pair

6:06

of my underwear, but swore he didn't

6:08

know I would be upset. I was

6:10

furious and couldn't look at him the rest of the

6:12

day. I feel this is a

6:14

major betrayal. He feels it is

6:16

something we should be able to laugh at. So

6:19

am I wrong? Yikes.

6:23

Uh, okay. So

6:27

that's a weird thing to do with your coworkers. Where

6:31

is HR? Yeah, straight up.

6:33

What? Also to have it

6:35

in like a hotel room, it's

6:38

giving ditty freak off, you

6:41

know? It's really weird.

6:44

It's like, and also

6:46

how bad has their behavior been where you do need to

6:48

resort to a hotel because

6:50

you don't want them in your house? That's

6:52

concerning too. It's all levels of sketchy. I

6:56

don't, I don't understand. It's

6:59

giving toxic frat

7:01

house workplace. Yeah.

7:04

Like very boys club, just

7:07

very, very toxic. Yeah. And

7:10

I can imagine for

7:12

somebody like Valerie working

7:15

in a very male dominated

7:18

workplace, like she

7:20

might feel like she has to

7:23

go along with these sort of things to blend

7:26

in and

7:28

not be passed up for promotions or

7:30

anything like that. I mean, that happens

7:33

a lot in professional workplaces,

7:35

like especially certain cultures where

7:37

it's like, you are expected to go out

7:39

and drink with your boss. And if you

7:42

don't drink with your boss, you're going to

7:44

get passed up for a promotion. Isn't that

7:46

crazy? Yeah. Yeah.

7:49

Like, oh God, corporate America and like places

7:51

like that, that have those underline rules and

7:53

like clubs. It's

7:56

like, that is so scary. And it's

7:58

like, how do you get above it? How do

8:00

you get past it? I mean, the only way

8:03

is to become the boss and change it from

8:05

the top down. Like that's really the only way.

8:08

Because if you're in

8:11

like, let's just say, I'm trying to empathize with Valerie

8:13

here for a second. Like if you're

8:15

in her position and all

8:17

the dudes are like, ah, we're gonna

8:19

like party. And then she's just

8:22

saying no every single time. Like

8:24

that does start to other her and preclude

8:26

her from things. So I think like,

8:29

you know, something like that

8:31

is definitely HR worthy. Like

8:34

bringing your wives panties and

8:36

like showing them off to your coworkers is

8:39

a certain level of gross. I

8:42

would not do that at my workplace in a

8:44

million years. No, and I have so many questions

8:46

and like this is not the point of this

8:48

story, but I'm like, did he grab clean underwear

8:51

or were they dirty from a laundry pile? Were

8:54

they smelling them? That's what I was gonna say. To try

8:56

to identify. I

8:58

didn't want to say, but I'm like, are they like passing

9:01

it around and like? You know they are. You

9:03

know, they're like feeling them and stretching them

9:05

out and touching them. I

9:07

hope Valerie made her husband wear a

9:09

pair of her panties. And then I

9:12

feel like that would have. Yeah,

9:14

that would have leveled the playing field. I feel

9:16

like it, yeah. I was gonna devil's advocate hop

9:18

on your little devil's advocate train over there and

9:21

say, I do appreciate that they didn't make Valerie

9:23

participate. Yeah, that would have been.

9:25

Small glimmer. That would have been super disgusting.

9:28

But the fact that they did this is so weird. Like

9:31

you're degrading your wives. You're

9:34

just, it's such a weird boundary with coworkers, your

9:36

partner. I mean, everything, I'm just like, ew.

9:39

It's icky, it's icky. It's beyond.

9:41

Yeah, it's giving frat, which

9:43

I mean, makes sense. They're all partners at

9:46

a law firm. Yeah,

9:48

banking firm. Banking, finance

9:52

bros, even worse. Top

9:56

comment, that's just weird. Next

9:59

comment. and a tad creepy, next. A

10:02

tad, I don't know. I feel like

10:04

this is enough to fit into the

10:06

very creepy category. Next

10:08

question. The question is, did

10:10

they sniff them? We

10:13

were all wondering. We were all

10:15

wondering. I

10:17

don't like it at all. Curious if

10:20

there's any comments from OP. So

10:25

apparently someone was asking, what's

10:28

up with Valerie? Does she not invite you

10:30

guys? What's going on there? No,

10:33

she doesn't want the wives and no

10:35

one can make her do anything. She's

10:37

very aggressive, but she likes to throw

10:39

parties and likes the praise of everyone

10:41

enjoying them. She knows there would

10:43

be a very different vibe if the wives were there.

10:48

I mean, I kind of roll my eyes

10:50

to that. Like why is of all the

10:52

people, the woman getting the

10:55

shit for this? I know. With

10:57

that, I'm kind of like, okay, I don't

10:59

know. It's

11:01

kind of giving a little bit of misogyny, of

11:04

being like, oh, it's actually the woman's

11:06

fault in all of this, that these

11:08

guys are doing these gross things. No,

11:10

absolutely. Hold them accountable. It's just kind

11:12

of like, we've seen this

11:14

before. There is a comment from OP, HR

11:18

doesn't have policies about what they do on their

11:20

own time. Everyone knows they get wild

11:22

outside of work. She got a

11:24

black guy while trying to get him off

11:26

of her when he got drunk in the

11:28

office, wrapped his arms around her and told

11:30

her at seven months pregnant, he was her

11:32

daughter's father. What? I'm

11:35

curious who this is we're in relation to.

11:38

I'm like, Valerie got... Valerie

11:42

was pregnant? Valerie got a black guy? That's

11:44

what it sounds like. That is

11:46

terrible. Also, like if you have

11:48

a party with your coworkers and

11:51

something bad happens, that's

11:53

still considered like sexual harassment.

11:55

That's still a fireable offense.

11:58

Just cause it happens off of the... the

12:00

outside of the workplace, doesn't mean you're precluded

12:03

from the rules. I'm

12:06

blown away. So yes, Valerie

12:08

was the one that

12:10

got the black eye and

12:13

she got extra vacation time because they didn't want

12:15

her to call the police. They

12:17

aren't even allowed to have Christmas parties anymore because

12:20

the office behavior was so bad. She

12:22

didn't come up with the game and she isn't responsible for

12:24

what they all chose to do. It kind

12:27

of feels gross to blame the woman. Ding,

12:29

ding, ding. Ding, ding. Previous

12:32

times at her house, they broke her

12:34

sliding glass door and her kids' swing

12:36

set. They were going into bedrooms. These

12:40

people needed, how

12:43

old are these people? This

12:46

is weird. OP

12:49

says, I wouldn't be surprised if she

12:51

was fucking her bestie or some of

12:53

them are fucking their secretaries. Your

12:55

husband works there. Are you

12:57

roping him into that? I feel like

13:00

that sounds like an extremely toxic work

13:02

environment. It just kept getting worse and

13:04

worse. And the fact that they just

13:07

can't have holiday parties anymore because people

13:09

are too crazy. It's just

13:11

like, guys, I think the problem is

13:13

some of your employees and they need

13:16

to be moved on.

13:19

You need a clean house. Yeah. Also,

13:21

I would be, I

13:24

know you trust your partner, you love your partner and

13:26

whatever, but I would look

13:28

at my partner very differently if

13:30

they were engaging in this type of behavior. Yes.

13:34

Like you brought my underwear

13:36

to go have a, no,

13:39

no. Yeah. And

13:42

I mean, it's good

13:44

to trust your partner and everything, but my

13:46

trust would definitely be questioned if I was

13:48

that wife, like

13:50

in terms of what these people are

13:52

getting away with. Yeah. If

13:55

he's a party to all of that,

13:57

I'd be like, ah. Why

14:00

are you going along with this stuff? Like why

14:02

do you have to go to these weird

14:05

hotel parties? Just don't go. Just maybe

14:07

don't go. Because it sounds like some

14:09

bad shit is happening. So you have

14:11

other plans. This is one

14:13

of those things where the whole organization, like it

14:16

comes to light. They have like one whistleblower and

14:18

it comes to light and the whole thing just

14:20

goes. It's gonna end

14:22

in an arrest for sure. Yeah. Oh

14:25

my gosh. Damn. Moving along.

14:27

Wow. This

14:30

next one is coming from r slash relationship

14:32

advice, 13 hours old titled

14:35

my 25 female, ex-boyfriend,

14:37

27 male left me

14:40

for my best friend, 25 female. And

14:43

now they want me to be a part of

14:45

their wedding party. Any advice?

14:48

Oh yeah. I say do it for

14:51

the bit. Go just for

14:53

your speech that you can give. Oh my

14:55

God. I'm so glad I could bring them

14:57

together. The power you can wield. The

15:00

fact they were able to meet through me

15:02

while I was dating Josh. So

15:04

glad, so glad. Three

15:07

years ago, Josh, my boyfriend of about

15:09

1.5 years broke

15:11

up with me because he had feelings for

15:14

Anna, my best friend. They were dating for

15:16

one year? A year and a half. A

15:18

year and a half, okay. We hung out

15:20

a lot and they said that they eventually

15:22

developed feelings for one another. They

15:24

admitted that Josh had been cheating on me.

15:27

They made a fool out of me. They made me

15:29

think that everything was okay when it was really

15:31

not. If they admitted it at

15:33

the time, I would have tried

15:35

to be understanding and tried to support them,

15:37

but they chose to lie. So

15:40

I cut them both off. I focused

15:42

on school and found a job with a good income.

15:44

Josh and Anna tried to reach out to

15:46

me at first, telling me that they still

15:48

wanted to be friends, but I blocked them.

15:51

Now I'm living in the next town over

15:53

to our hometown. I got a

15:55

wonderful job opportunity, so I moved, but I liked

15:57

that I was still close enough to visit my

16:00

parents. and other relatives. About

16:02

a month ago, I heard about their wedding from

16:04

a common friend. It didn't

16:06

really bother me anymore, so I just went on

16:08

with my life. A week ago,

16:10

I received a message from Anna,

16:13

telling me that she and Josh were getting married and

16:15

that they would like for me to be a part

16:17

of their wedding day. I replied,

16:19

quote, congratulations, no thank you. I had

16:22

no feelings for Josh anymore, and I'm

16:24

even seeing someone else, but I don't

16:26

want to celebrate the wedding of two

16:29

people who betrayed me. They

16:31

were insistent. Josh

16:34

also messaged me via a different number. Some

16:36

of my friends also tried to convince me to come to the

16:39

wedding. I firmly said no.

16:41

Even my mom called me, asking if

16:44

I was going, and when I said

16:46

no, she sounded disappointed, but didn't push

16:48

it. This is all just quite weird

16:50

to me. Why would you

16:53

want your ex-girlfriend slash ex-best

16:55

friend, the girl you cheated on,

16:57

to be a part of

16:59

your wedding party? The day before yesterday,

17:01

Anna's parents called me, telling

17:03

me that they missed me and really hope I could

17:05

go to the wedding. I firmly

17:08

said that I would not be going.

17:10

Her mom berated me,

17:13

saying that I should let bygones be bygones and

17:15

that I should be happy for her daughter. I

17:18

asked her if I cheated with Anna's boyfriend

17:20

and then invited her to the wedding. Would

17:22

she convince Anna to go? She

17:25

had no answer to this, and I hung up. This

17:27

is getting quite out of hand, because

17:30

I'm now receiving more than 20 to

17:32

30 calls and texts a day from

17:35

their friends and family about this wedding.

17:37

Any advice on how to handle this? Also,

17:40

any insights on why they want me to go to

17:42

their wedding? I don't think it's

17:44

normal that they are this insistent. That's

17:47

wild. 20 to 30 calls

17:49

a day? That's psycho.

17:51

I would be losing my mind. Hearing

17:54

my phone ring is like instant anxiety

17:56

provoking. 20 to 30. I'd

18:01

have to shut it off. Why is that such a big

18:03

deal for them? Like move

18:05

on, she obviously did. I

18:08

think there's obviously like a large amount of guilt

18:10

that they have and they probably had it from

18:12

the get go but they just didn't care because

18:14

they obviously were very into each

18:16

other. But why

18:19

do they care so much about having her there? I,

18:23

my hunches, it's about the

18:25

social stigma. Like

18:27

everyone knew who they were.

18:29

Like they were best friends

18:32

for however many years, like from the

18:34

time they were little. Yeah, they want

18:36

her to go there so they can

18:38

be as absolved of their. That's what

18:40

I think. Yeah, absolutely. She's here, she's

18:42

okay with it. She's cool with it.

18:44

She's supporting us on our day. She

18:46

realizes we love each other. Obviously, you

18:48

know, we didn't meet in a traditional

18:50

way but she's okay with it. 100%,

18:53

they're doing it for themselves. Yeah, and

18:55

it's like everyone's trying to like get

18:58

her there so it looks fine. It

19:00

looks all dandy because you know how much

19:03

people love to gossip and talk. Oh, yeah.

19:05

Unless she's there, they're

19:07

gonna talk mad shit and as they should,

19:10

as they should, they deserve to be

19:12

talked about. Yeah, it's not a good

19:14

origin story for your love story. Starting

19:18

off with a good old cheating

19:21

scandal. Yeah, no, she

19:23

absolutely should not go. That's

19:26

totally why they want her to go there because as

19:28

long as she's there, then yeah,

19:30

she's cool. They're absolved of their

19:33

betrayal. I

19:35

know, and their guilt. And

19:37

also this relationship has been moving

19:39

so fast. I

19:42

mean, they probably love each other.

19:45

I know. And they probably like really

19:47

hit it off clearly. They're

19:50

meant for each other but they were not truthful about

19:54

the feelings that they had. And

19:58

yeah, they cheated before. he

20:00

broke up with her, right? They were sleeping together.

20:02

Yeah, that's fucked up. I know, and

20:05

they were together a year and a half. So it's like, that's

20:07

a decent amount of time. It's a decent amount of

20:09

time. It's enough time

20:12

for it to be like really messed up to

20:14

cheat on somebody. Obviously anytime is a

20:16

bad amount of time to cheat on

20:18

somebody, but. It's a tough one. Yeah,

20:20

that's rough, but it sounds like she's

20:23

moved on. Her life is, sounds

20:25

like her life is great. So

20:27

it's just kind of like block those people's

20:29

numbers and just move on. I know, that

20:31

would be my advice too. Like you really

20:33

just gotta block them all, really

20:36

go low contact with anyone that's gonna keep

20:38

pressuring you. And I'm sure they still have

20:40

mutual friends and like obviously you're not saying

20:42

you guys can't go. Like you're

20:45

kind of being a saint in all of

20:47

this by the sounds of it, just trying

20:49

to like move on, live your life. You

20:51

haven't really talked about about these two even. So

20:55

I just try to brush it

20:57

all under the rug and keep doing you. Dude,

20:59

that would drive me crazy. The

21:01

injustice of it all. Top

21:05

comment, tell everyone involved to

21:07

get fucked. Yup. That's

21:10

one way to do it. Someone

21:12

has another piece of advice. OP

21:15

should post on social media publicly,

21:18

something along the lines of quote,

21:21

I will not be attending my

21:23

ex best friends and ex boyfriend's

21:25

wedding. The reason for this

21:28

as ex boyfriend was actively cheating on

21:30

me with ex best friend while we

21:32

were dating. That is how

21:34

their loving relationship started. I

21:36

wish the happy couple all the best but do

21:38

not wish to be a part of this as

21:40

I have moved on happily with my life and

21:42

I see no good reason for me to be

21:44

there as I no longer have any relationship with

21:46

either of them. I hope one

21:49

day they can move on with their lives

21:51

and stop harassing me. Let

21:53

people have fun with that. Go

21:55

full petty. Yes. I

21:58

mean, it would be kind of funny for her to. to attend

22:00

the wedding in a white dress,

22:03

show up just hammered, make a

22:06

total scene the entire time, maybe

22:09

throw some glasses, just like

22:11

really like make a huge scene. So everybody at

22:13

the wedding is like, who is that woman? Like

22:15

for the people that don't know. Yeah, the lower

22:18

behind it. And then everyone

22:20

will then know about

22:23

the situation. But

22:25

that's obviously a waste

22:27

of her time. It definitely is. But

22:30

how satisfying would it be? Who would

22:32

be very satisfying? Especially even this speech,

22:34

like that comment, instead of

22:36

posting it, doing an actual speech.

22:39

I'm so glad I could bring them close

22:41

together. I'm so happy.

22:44

I'm the reason they met. Unfortunately,

22:46

we were still together, Josh, but you know.

22:49

Yeah. How you find him

22:51

is how you lose him, Anna. Good luck. I

22:53

mean, it would be sick. That'd be like, that'd

22:55

be a good scene in a movie, but

22:58

in real life, I don't think

23:00

I could do it. I think I would throw up. Yeah. Oh,

23:02

my anxiety. I get so nervous

23:05

before like recording episodes or doing live shows. Like

23:08

I would throw up. Yeah, it'd

23:10

be out both ends for me. I

23:13

wouldn't make it to the stage. You'd

23:15

have to wear a diaper. Yeah. You

23:17

just have to wear a diaper to prepare. Why does that

23:19

guy stink so bad at his wedding? Sorry.

23:23

We do have an edit from OP.

23:26

Okay. Hi, thank you all

23:28

so much for the advice. I

23:30

didn't think this would get so much attention. I

23:33

just want to clarify a few things that I read about

23:35

in the comments, though I'm very sorry that I have not

23:37

yet read all of them. First

23:39

of all, my mom is not going

23:41

to the wedding, but I think she

23:44

wants to go. That's why she

23:46

was asking me if I was going. I'm

23:48

going to talk to her after work. Anna

23:50

messaged me with a different number. I don't know

23:52

how she got my number. Also,

23:55

my hometown is a small town and

23:57

most of our friends did know that

23:59

I was cheated That's why this

24:01

seems so weird to me. I

24:03

did block the people who were very

24:05

insistent, including the new numbers of Anna,

24:07

Josh and Anna's mom. Also,

24:09

I keep blocking the people that text me about

24:11

the wedding, but new numbers just keep popping up,

24:14

which makes it more weird that people are

24:17

actually making an effort to get new numbers

24:19

just so I would attend an ex's wedding.

24:22

That's crazy. It's like,

24:25

sounds like some Scientology shit. Like

24:27

I've never heard, I've never heard like a

24:29

group of people be so determined. Like,

24:31

are they all going to Walmart and getting

24:33

burner phones? Yeah, right. What are they doing?

24:35

That's crazy. I'm gonna talk to

24:37

a close friend who still lives in my hometown. She

24:40

hates Anna for what she did to me and she

24:42

may know what's going on. That's all

24:44

for now. Thank you so much for all the

24:46

advice in the comments and messages. I

24:49

do understand why the mom was

24:52

like weirdly insistent because sometimes

24:54

parents can be really

24:57

weird about your exes. Yeah. And

25:00

then they're like, oh, but like, I love him.

25:02

Like he was so great and like, blah, blah,

25:04

blah. And it's like, you have to like let

25:07

it go, you know? It's

25:09

so, so strange. Like have you ever

25:11

had that happen? Like, have

25:14

like your parents ever been like weird about like

25:16

an ex? Yeah. Do you ever talk

25:18

to him? Oh, he was so sweet. He was

25:20

so sweet. Lo and behold, he was actually a

25:22

terrorist. I'm like, you don't

25:24

even know. Like I didn't tell you anything because

25:26

I didn't want you to hate him. Yeah, yeah.

25:28

Parents only hear the good shit because obviously like

25:31

you don't want to tell them the bad stuff.

25:33

Well, and friends too. Like I have an ex

25:35

friend who things

25:38

just like really fell apart. Like I was

25:40

living in Minnesota still. She had moved to

25:42

Dallas and I went to visit her and

25:44

there was just like all this drama that

25:46

went down and like, she essentially like left

25:48

me at her house while she was like

25:50

partying with like some people, took

25:53

one of my other friend's phones and hid

25:55

it at the guy's house. So she couldn't

25:57

contact me, wouldn't let me take

25:59

her car to Walmart. to go buy a book because

26:01

her house didn't have wifi. So

26:03

I sat there and I'm like, this is terrible.

26:05

Like I tried to meet up, she wouldn't let

26:07

me. Like it was nuts. That's crazy. So you

26:10

just like raw dog living in a house. Yeah,

26:13

it was like, I couldn't do anything. It was before TikTok.

26:16

This was 2015. TikTok didn't

26:18

exist. You can only refresh Instagram so

26:20

many times. I was going crazy. So

26:23

I started looking up flights to leave early. And

26:26

I was like, you know, if she comes back and apologizes, we'll

26:28

see how it goes. She walked in the door,

26:30

didn't talk to me. So I was like, this

26:33

is weird. I'm done. Lo

26:36

and behold, she never apologized up until

26:39

probably 45 days ago. What?

26:42

Almost 10 years. But

26:44

she's been messaging my mom on Facebook.

26:48

Because like she got engaged

26:50

and my mom like sent her like

26:53

a congrats or commented congrats. Cause like my

26:55

mom's a typical like Facebook mom. Is

26:58

this like a sobriety thing? I

27:00

don't know. I don't know.

27:03

Cause sometimes like people going through like a

27:05

sobriety journey will like reach out to people

27:07

that they like hurt and apologize. But

27:09

she never truly apologized to me. She was just

27:12

like, yeah, I was just, I was really young

27:14

and dumb. And

27:17

where's the apology? Yes, that and like,

27:19

why didn't she wait 10 years? What's

27:21

the reason? I don't know.

27:23

She ended up seeing my brother at a

27:26

wedding of like a mutual a year before

27:28

the apology. But

27:30

like that was a year. And

27:32

so I'm like, this is

27:34

strange. But my mom had been

27:36

like, oh, you should really,

27:38

you should talk to her. You know, you

27:40

guys could be great friends again. And I'm

27:42

like, why? No, no,

27:45

don't you remember what she did to me? And

27:47

she goes, no, she was so nice. I'm like,

27:50

I'm like, what? Okay, let me refresh

27:52

your memory. And she was

27:55

like, oh, oh my God. Yeah,

27:57

no, I'm like, thank you. I'm like, thank

27:59

you. But sometimes, I mean,

28:01

everyone wants to see their kid have good

28:04

people and have friends, but it's

28:06

like, you don't need friends like this. Right.

28:09

But I guess if they've been friends

28:11

since kindergarten and the

28:13

mom had watched her grow up, that

28:15

also is kind of a loss. I've known

28:17

little Anna since she was five. I

28:20

know it's your ex, but that's tough

28:23

to get over too. Crazy.

28:25

Yeah. No other comments

28:27

from OP, no update yet. I'm

28:29

gonna refresh just to see. Yeah,

28:32

it's 14 hours old now, so. Oh,

28:35

wow, fresh. I'm really unresolved with this one.

28:37

I like, I need more.

28:39

Do you ever do like update episodes where

28:41

you like revisit? I try to give an

28:43

update story, at least one

28:45

an episode. We've been doing a lot of

28:47

updates on Patreon, and then

28:49

I'm putting together like an updates episode

28:52

of like stories we've had that have

28:54

since had updates. I've

28:56

got some minions working on it with

28:58

me. So that's in the works. But

29:01

yeah, I mean, I love updates. They're

29:03

just so satisfying. It's my favorite. It's

29:05

my favorite thing like on

29:08

our Reddit show, whenever Shane says

29:10

update, it's like, it's

29:12

just that like, oh, it's a

29:14

hit of serotonin. It's so good. Like, yeah.

29:16

What's the best update you've had? What like

29:18

story really sticks with you? Oh

29:21

man. I honestly,

29:25

I can't think of one off the

29:27

dome. Did

29:30

you ever hear the slug story? The

29:32

slug story? Yeah. No. You

29:35

guys haven't done slug story yet? I

29:37

mean, we might've and I

29:39

just wasn't on that episode. I

29:41

don't wind up, I know like

29:44

I own the channel and everything, but I

29:46

don't wind up seeing all the episodes. I

29:48

mean, you guys, you put out a lot

29:50

of stuff. But I do actually wind up

29:52

listening to our Reddit stories like when I'm

29:55

working out or whatever, cause it's just good

29:57

background. It's so good. There's a story. I

30:00

think I read it on the episode with

30:02

Drew Afawalo. It's like unhinged 2.0 if you

30:04

haven't heard it. But this

30:06

person found out their partner was putting

30:08

slugs in their shakes. Oh

30:11

my God. And replacing their

30:13

heart medication with salt pills.

30:17

And they found out from someone coming into

30:19

their work, like one of their partner's friends

30:21

coming into their work being like, hey,

30:23

you know how you're helping your partner out in

30:25

the garden putting fruit out for slugs? And

30:28

you think it's cute? Yeah, well he's been

30:30

poisoning you with them. And that's actually

30:32

why you have a heart condition. Yeah.

30:36

And then they had like some rare African snail.

30:40

She thinks he put that in

30:42

her shake too. Yep.

30:45

Uh-huh. Traumatizing, right?

30:47

That's, you know, I have heard

30:49

other Reddit stories where

30:52

it's like, oh yeah, my partner's poisoning me. Like

30:55

it's, we've done a few other stories that were like

30:57

that where it's like, oh yeah, oh,

31:00

there was like one where it was like their partner

31:02

was saying that they thought she

31:04

was getting fat. So he was

31:07

putting like sawdust in her

31:09

food or something like that.

31:12

Oh, and the brother saw him. Yeah.

31:14

And the brother was like, you need to tell

31:16

her or I will. Yeah. Was just like, yeah.

31:21

How often do you think this is happening? Where it's

31:23

like, it's a

31:25

lot of stuff where it's like guys or it's like,

31:28

no, no, I'll take care of this. You're putting

31:30

on some pounds. I'll take care of this, but

31:32

I'm not going to tell you about it. But

31:34

I got it under control. So I read that

31:36

story with two guys and

31:38

they told me allegedly, okay, don't

31:40

come for me if this is

31:42

not true. But they

31:44

said that a lot of the

31:47

anti-tamper stickers in the UK

31:49

were put on like food

31:52

deliveries because of people tampering with the food

31:54

deliveries. And one of the bigger

31:56

ones was shakes. And there

31:58

were people posting videos. of themselves

32:01

coming into people's shakes.

32:05

Oh, I don't know about that. I'm

32:07

gonna choose not to believe that just

32:09

for my own sanity. But

32:13

also like I don't order milkshakes. So

32:17

I guess I'm probably okay. I

32:20

love a good milkshake, especially if you get

32:22

a side of fries and you dip. Oh

32:24

yeah, I mean like it's

32:26

good, but I feel like, yeah, I

32:28

never, I guess I'm safe cause

32:30

yeah, I never get shakes. I feel

32:32

like it also wouldn't transport well for food delivery.

32:35

It does melt very quickly. Yeah. Yeah.

32:38

Also I feel like it's just like in

32:40

terms of like nutrients for

32:43

myself, I think it's like one of the

32:45

worst things I could put into my body. But

32:48

they are great. They are great. As someone

32:50

that has problems with dairy, it's

32:53

not my friend, but you know, every

32:55

once in a while, you just wanna

32:57

have the dangerous side. Absolutely. Yeah.

33:00

Yeah. I get it, I get it, man. Yeah, fries

33:02

and a shake. Yeah. Have you ever

33:04

dipped a Wendy's chicken nugget into the frosty? In the, oh

33:07

yeah, of course. Yeah, that's a good one too. There's

33:10

two different flavors of frosty, right? Chocolate

33:12

or vanilla. Yeah. I think they do

33:14

a special pumpkin one too. Maybe,

33:17

maybe. Okay. Yeah. For

33:19

the fall season. Yeah, pumpkin spice latte seasons here. That could

33:22

be good. But yeah, the nugget

33:24

into the frosty, yeah. It's

33:26

a hack. Epic combo. It's a

33:28

hack, yeah. Okay, moving along. One

33:31

of this week's partners is Game Time. It

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game time today. What time is it? Game

34:41

time. This next one,

34:44

I am enraged just based on

34:47

the title. Let's go.

34:49

I'm really scared. I haven't read this one, so

34:51

I'm sorry if it sucks, but the title alone,

34:54

I was like, what? So you just saw the

34:56

title and you're like, this one's going in. I

34:58

knew it. I'm just proofreading. Nope, I'm scared. All

35:00

right. I'm scared. We're going

35:02

in. Coming from AITAH four

35:05

days old, titled Am I the

35:07

Asshole for Leaving My Husband at

35:09

the Hospital after he refused to

35:11

be in the delivery room with

35:13

me. Huh, I'm

35:15

sure he has a perfectly reasonable,

35:18

you know, reason for that.

35:21

Yeah, one more. But let's

35:24

hear her out. This

35:27

happened two months ago, but it's still

35:29

causing major friction in my family. So

35:31

I need some outside opinions. I,

35:33

29 female, and my husband, Jake,

35:35

32 male, have been together

35:37

for six years, married for three. We

35:40

were both ecstatic when we found out we were

35:42

expecting our first child. Pregnancy was

35:44

really tough for me though.

35:46

I had severe morning sickness,

35:49

gestational diabetes, and was generally

35:51

miserable. But Jake was

35:53

supportive and sweet the whole way through,

35:55

which made it bearable. As

35:57

we got closer to my due date, we discussed birth plans.

36:00

I was adamant that I wanted Jake in

36:03

the delivery room. I needed

36:05

his support and he had always agreed.

36:08

However, a few weeks before my due date,

36:11

Jake started acting strange. He

36:14

was distant, distracted, and

36:16

wouldn't engage in any

36:18

baby-related activities or discussions.

36:21

I thought he was just anxious about becoming

36:24

a dad, so I didn't press him

36:26

too much. The day I

36:28

went into labor, Jake drove me to the hospital,

36:30

but seemed off. He

36:33

was quiet and kept checking his phone. When

36:35

we got there, he pulled the nurse aside and

36:37

spoke to her privately. She

36:39

came back and told me Jake

36:42

wouldn't be in the delivery room

36:44

because he was, quote, "'uncomfortable with

36:46

blood and medical procedures.'" I

36:49

was stunned. He had never

36:51

mentioned this before. I begged

36:53

him to stay, told him I needed him,

36:56

but he just kept saying, quote, "'I can't

36:58

do this.'" I was

37:00

heartbroken and furious, but I

37:02

didn't have too much time to dwell on it

37:04

as my contractions were getting closer and stronger. Jake

37:07

said he would be in the waiting room and kissed me

37:09

on the forehead before leaving. I was

37:11

left alone, crying and

37:13

feeling utterly abandoned. Labor

37:16

was long, painful, and traumatic. I

37:19

was alone the entire time except for the

37:21

medical staff. When our son

37:23

was finally born, I was exhausted,

37:25

emotionally and physically. The

37:27

nurse handed me my son and all I

37:30

felt was a deep sadness that Jake wasn't

37:32

there to share in this moment. After

37:34

I was taken to a recovery room, I asked the

37:36

nurse to go get Jake. She came

37:38

back and she said, he had left

37:41

the hospital hours ago. Bro, oh no. I

37:46

couldn't believe it. I

37:49

called him repeatedly, but he

37:52

didn't answer. That

37:55

is wild. I

38:01

had like a shred of understanding,

38:03

like, look, if you're very squeamish

38:06

and like childbirth

38:08

is too icky for you, like

38:12

I hear that, like I'll hold

38:14

some space for that, but

38:17

also childbirth is

38:19

an incredibly scary, exhausting

38:22

experience. And that's when

38:25

your wife needs you

38:27

the most, maybe

38:30

just like suck it up a little bit

38:32

and be there, but not just that, he

38:35

was gone. What if something would have gone

38:37

wrong? What if like literally

38:39

she needed someone to come in and be

38:41

like a proxy medical decision maker? Yeah,

38:44

lots of stuff can happen. Oh my God. In

38:46

the delivery room. We're not done.

38:49

Okay. Oh, I'm sick, I'm sick, I'm

38:51

sweating. Yeah, that sucks. Finally,

38:53

I sent him a text saying I was done and he

38:55

could find his own way home. I

38:57

didn't see him until the next day. He

39:00

showed up at the hospital with flowers and an

39:02

apology saying he had panicked and needed some air.

39:05

He claimed he had gone home to shower

39:07

and change and had fallen asleep, which

39:09

I didn't buy for a second. I

39:12

told him I didn't believe him. I was overwhelmed

39:15

with anger and hurt. And I told him he

39:17

had let me down in the worst way possible.

39:19

He kept apologizing, saying he knew he'd messed

39:22

up and he would do anything to make

39:24

it right. I didn't want him

39:26

near me or our son at that moment. So

39:28

I asked him to leave. He tried

39:30

to protest, but I told him I needed time

39:32

to process everything. He left and

39:35

I spent the rest of my hospital stay

39:37

alone with my baby, trying to grapple with

39:39

the enormity of what had happened. Since

39:42

then, Jake has been trying to make

39:44

amends. He's been taking parenting classes, attending

39:46

therapy and is constantly trying to be

39:49

present and supportive. But I

39:52

can't shake the feeling of betrayal. He

39:54

abandoned me at one of the

39:56

most vulnerable moments of my life. Every

39:59

time I look at him, at him, I remember

40:01

being alone in that delivery room, terrified and in

40:03

pain, wondering why the person

40:05

who promised to be by my side

40:08

wasn't there. My family is

40:10

split. Some think that I'm being

40:12

too hard on Jake, that he made a

40:14

mistake and is clearly remorseful. They

40:16

say he's a good father and partner otherwise, and

40:19

I should focus on moving forward for the sake

40:21

of our child. Others

40:23

think that what he did was unforgivable

40:25

and I should leave him. They

40:28

believe I'll never truly trust him again, and that's

40:30

no foundation for a marriage. I'm

40:33

torn. I still do love him,

40:35

and I know he loves me and our

40:37

son, but a part of me wonders

40:39

if I'll ever get over this. Was

40:42

it just a moment of weakness on his part, or

40:44

a sign of something deeper that I can't

40:46

overlook? So, am

40:48

I the asshole for leaving him at the hospital

40:51

and now considering leaving him for good? I

40:53

mean, not the asshole, clearly,

40:56

but it sounds perfectly salvageable to me.

40:59

Obviously, what he did was wrong and

41:02

destroyed her trust in him

41:04

completely. I think that

41:08

they either need to develop

41:11

a really strong communication style

41:15

or they need to go to couples

41:17

therapy. I think this is something that

41:19

they really need to

41:21

lay everything out. He

41:24

obviously knows he fucked up, and

41:28

it's nice to see that he's

41:30

taking actual steps. He's

41:32

actually putting in the action to show that

41:34

he cares and that he wants to make

41:36

things better. He sounds like

41:38

somebody, unlike a lot of these other stories

41:41

where the guys are like, oh, I don't want to

41:43

go to therapy. It sounds like he absolutely would. This

41:46

totally sounds like something that they could work

41:50

through together, but they have to be

41:52

on the same page. It's

42:00

gotta be, you both have individual because

42:02

you're dealing with huge feelings and

42:05

then the couples comes into it too. Like

42:08

I don't think I would be

42:10

able to get over this and I have someone, like

42:13

my partner is deathly

42:15

afraid of needles, medical procedures.

42:18

He passed out getting Botox. So

42:22

like when we talk about if we have kids

42:24

and like you're gonna be

42:26

in there like 100%, that's non-negotiable

42:28

for me. But I'm like, we're

42:30

just gonna have to keep you up by my head

42:33

because otherwise like you're gonna go down and like we

42:35

can't have the nurses worrying about you. Like I'm the

42:37

center of attention here. Sure, sure. So like I

42:41

can't believe he did this to

42:43

her. And I think it's more so the way he

42:45

did it too where he

42:47

pulled the nurse aside and

42:50

made the nurse be the bearer of

42:52

bad news. Like no, you're gonna

42:54

do this to me. He's a coward. Clearly,

42:57

like you say to my face

43:00

and then where did he go? Where

43:03

did he go? Yeah. This

43:05

is fishy and I know

43:08

I'm a little scarred. I've read a lot

43:10

of stories on here, a lot

43:12

of stories where I've been like, there's no

43:14

way he's cheating. Like he loves her and

43:17

then wham, another family. Showing

43:19

my head when we're getting

43:21

all these red flags and he's like, he

43:23

just kept saying, I can't do this. And

43:26

a couple of weeks before the baby was

43:28

born, he started to like not wanna talk

43:30

about any baby related discussions. You

43:33

got another person on the side and

43:35

you're like, what's going

43:37

on here? Where'd you go? Right.

43:40

Where'd you go? Yeah, I mean, I guess cheating's

43:43

always the possibility. Like people

43:46

be cheating. Yeah, I

43:48

mean, what he

43:50

did was incredibly cowardly. It's

43:54

yeah, it's just sad. It's

43:56

sad. It's really sad. We

43:59

don't. I don't have an official

44:01

update from what I'm seeing. However,

44:06

we have a lot of comments

44:08

from OP. Oh. A

44:11

lot. Is she running defense?

44:14

Let's see, let's see what the top comment

44:16

is first before we really get

44:19

into this. Top comment.

44:21

The thing is, where did he disappear

44:23

to? He totally left the

44:26

hospital. I don't know if I'd be able to trust

44:28

him and what if a

44:30

serious issue arises in the future?

44:32

Hopefully not, because will he abandon

44:34

you then and just apologize again?

44:37

OP replies, like apologies would

44:39

make it all go away. Apologies

44:41

that seemed very halfhearted

44:43

too. What

44:45

if you would have died in labor is the

44:47

main thing I keep thinking about in this situation.

44:50

You could have ended up in a coma. It could

44:52

have been an emergency C-section and he would

44:54

have been gone for all of that. Right.

44:57

And that was my fear. Like who's

45:00

making any decisions? Yes, and

45:03

he's unreachable, which is crazy. You

45:06

fell asleep, sir? There's

45:09

no way. How could you even

45:11

sleep at a time where you know your

45:13

partner is in the hospital giving birth to

45:15

your child? And then, okay, you fall asleep,

45:18

but you don't answer her phone

45:20

calls? Yeah. Where

45:23

are you? Who are you with? Yeah, no,

45:25

I mean, it calls a lot to questions.

45:29

I mean, I think that's a really good question about what happens in

45:31

any other kind of emergency situation. Are

45:36

you going to be able to

45:38

step up and provide or protect your

45:40

family? Like,

45:44

let's say a flood happens. Are

45:48

you just gonna be like, okay, bye?

45:50

Like, yeah, I mean, this is gonna take, I

45:54

feel like years of therapy for them to work through. And

45:58

someone goes, not the asshole. Only you know

46:00

the details of what your marriage is truly

46:03

like, but in your shoes, I'd

46:05

have given the nurse a note to give him in

46:07

the hospital that he was to be completely moved out

46:09

before baby and I came home. What

46:11

he did is unforgivable. And it lets

46:14

you know that in the future, when your health and

46:16

safety are on the line, he won't be there. OP

46:19

responds, exactly how I feel. Something

46:22

fishy is going on and I

46:24

know it. I

46:27

mean, I wouldn't jump to cheating. I'm

46:29

not getting cheating vibes, but I guess

46:31

it's always possible. It does kind of

46:33

remind me of, there's

46:35

a pretty good movie called Force

46:37

Major. It's like a Swedish movie.

46:40

Oh, look at you all cultured. I

46:42

get out there sometimes, but it's about

46:45

this family that goes to, I

46:47

think it's like the Swiss Alps for like a

46:49

skiing trip. And there's an avalanche

46:51

that happens and the

46:53

dad runs away from the family and

46:55

nothing happens, the avalanche is fine. Oh

46:58

my God, I saw, I think

47:00

I saw the trailer for this. Okay, yeah. It's

47:03

by the same director that did Triangle

47:05

of Sadness. But, and it's all, the

47:07

whole movie is just the fallout of

47:10

that because he just sprinted

47:12

away from his family. And

47:15

it's just the fallout from all of that.

47:17

That's what this kind of like reminds me

47:19

of. It's like, when it comes to like,

47:22

are you gonna be there to like, you

47:25

know, be there for your wife

47:28

and kids? Literally, like, are you going

47:30

to be there? When

47:32

the time like really matters. And it's like,

47:34

this was your time and it's exciting.

47:37

This is your first baby. Yeah. Like,

47:39

okay, I get you don't wanna be in the room, but

47:42

to leave the hospital, nope,

47:46

no excuse. Wild. Don't

47:48

care what it was, unless someone else is dying

47:50

and you gotta go help, you're not leaving. Insane.

47:55

So there's a lot of people calling

47:57

our writer here dramatic.

48:00

saying that she's overreacting because it was

48:02

my first child. That's what

48:04

she says. I called to talk to his mom. And

48:07

all she said is I was overreacting because it was my

48:09

first child. Come on.

48:11

What? Come on.

48:14

My own mom keeps saying I'm being

48:17

dramatic. I

48:23

don't agree with these

48:25

parents. Sorry

48:29

to play devil's advocate. I

48:31

see because they're

48:33

not even thinking about her feelings.

48:37

They're thinking about the family. We have

48:39

to keep the family together. What about

48:41

the kid? And

48:44

oftentimes these

48:47

families will disregard, especially

48:50

the wives feelings for the sake

48:52

of the child. They're

48:55

like, the child is most important. Fuck

48:57

your feelings, the child. Stay

48:59

together for the baby. You have

49:02

a new baby. Exactly. They're like

49:04

makeup, do whatever it takes, makeup

49:07

for the sake of the kid, which like, I get

49:09

it. Like the kid is priority, but

49:12

also you have to create

49:14

a healthy environment for the child. And

49:17

if your husband is being

49:20

an unreliable weirdo, That's

49:23

the best way to put it. Unreliable weirdo.

49:26

That's not a good environment for the kid. So

49:29

yeah, but again, this

49:31

is where parents don't have all

49:34

the context and they're not thinking

49:36

about everything. I

49:39

know. Well, it's like, what about

49:41

her feelings? A lot

49:43

of comments again. Someone does go excellent

49:45

point with the phone checking and

49:47

then the disappearing act, he might

49:50

be cheating. So I'm not

49:52

alone in that. Feel good about that.

49:55

Or someone had his ear about this

49:57

pregnancy, fatherhood, or OP had been

49:59

bending. for weeks leading up to when

50:01

she went into labor. She

50:03

said he started acting weird weeks

50:05

before. OP responds,

50:08

yes, like he was absent minded.

50:10

I'll repeat myself like thrice, sometimes

50:13

to get his attention. He

50:15

changed his password and started

50:18

staring into his phone a lot. My

50:20

mama said it was the pregnancy hormones and I should let

50:22

it go, but I guess I

50:25

was right anyways. Right

50:28

about what? Right about what? Right about

50:30

what? What do we have going

50:32

on here? Yeah, changing a password, it's a

50:34

little sus. I don't like that.

50:38

I don't like that at all. So

50:40

someone goes, right now he's taking

50:42

parenting classes in therapy when he knew damn well

50:44

long before labor and delivery that he couldn't handle

50:46

it. OP goes, doing everything

50:49

to make me not leave. Once

50:51

I'm strong enough, I'm moving states.

50:55

Whoa. We're having rapid

50:57

development over here. Whoa. Okay,

51:00

so she suspects her husband is

51:03

cheating now. I'm thinking so. Okay,

51:09

this comment is very sus, very

51:13

sus. So someone

51:15

goes, that's the thing. He just didn't

51:17

even wait outside. He left and didn't

51:19

even engage until the next day. What

51:21

was he doing? Someone goes, call

51:23

me old and cynical, but it sounds like he was

51:26

cheating. OP responds,

51:29

I'm old and cynical too then because

51:31

that's the only explanation. It took me

51:33

giving birth to realize this man absolutely

51:35

hates me. Oh, this is

51:37

escalating. And then OP goes, he probably

51:39

had to choose between me and somebody

51:42

and chose her. Nothing

51:44

else seems like an answer enough to me. When

51:47

he felt guilty, that's when he decided to

51:49

come back. She's going

51:51

down a rabbit hole because

51:53

there's no mention of proof yet. There's no

51:56

mention of like, I found the messages. She

51:58

messaged me. Yeah, we're just like. She's

52:00

spiraling. She's like witnessing somebody just like unwinding.

52:04

OP does say, I'm leaving once I'm strong

52:06

enough. He already left on his own.

52:08

I'll be here until my parents come get me. He

52:12

left. There's

52:14

no more context. What? I'm so confused.

52:16

This is all over the place. Like

52:18

he was going to like parenting stuff

52:21

and going to therapy or whatever, but

52:24

he left? He left. Okay.

52:26

So she was like, get out of here. And

52:28

he said, okay. Literally,

52:30

or there's no, there's

52:32

no clarification. It's literally just like he left.

52:35

There's other comments like he hates me. That's

52:37

the only conclusion. Because even if his side

52:40

chick, she could wait for one

52:42

day, I don't think

52:44

I'll be around to find out sadly. He hates me.

52:46

And why I didn't realize it until now is what's

52:48

driving me insane. Even an affair

52:50

can wait for 24 hours. This

52:53

person just sounds very hurt. She's really

52:56

spiraling here. Really

52:58

spiraling because there's no mention of finding

53:00

anything. No, that sounds like she's made

53:02

up her mind. I think so. But

53:05

like there's no mention of a conversation with

53:07

him. There's no confrontation. Like there's just comment

53:09

after comment. Like guess the mistress couldn't wait

53:12

24 hours for me to deliver his

53:14

first child. Wow. Yay.

53:18

Wow. No official update yet. But

53:20

I mean, commenting as recent

53:22

as four days ago. So,

53:24

wow. Okay.

53:29

Sad. Very sad. And also

53:31

another one where I'm like, I

53:34

selfishly need an update for

53:37

my own selfish needs. Please update me.

53:39

I feel like whatever update we're going to

53:42

get is just gonna make us more sad.

53:45

I feel like- I know. I

53:47

don't see how this could have a happy

53:49

ending. It seems like she made up her

53:51

mind and I don't think any evidence is

53:53

gonna change her mind at this point. It

53:55

seems like she's pretty set. I know. And

53:58

it's hard cause I'm, I feel like- When you

54:00

are in a tough spot, Reddit, if there's

54:02

any inkling of cheating, Reddit can be a

54:05

tough place to post. Yes. I

54:07

mean, look at me, look how scarred I am. Look

54:09

at the audience here. Everyone's like the

54:11

moment a guy checks his phone, they're

54:13

like, that motherfucker is cheating. Cheating, cheating,

54:16

disappeared, cheating. Like, yeah,

54:18

realistically, he could have been

54:20

having a mental breakdown. Sure,

54:23

because I watched one of your episodes

54:26

from I think a couple months

54:28

ago about the guy that they

54:31

had a kid, and then all of a sudden

54:33

he started messing everything up and

54:35

was like dropping things and forgetting

54:37

things. It's so

54:40

weird that like having a

54:42

kid is this kind of weird

54:44

inflection point where like some

54:47

people like step up and other people just go

54:49

to crazy town. Yeah, it can be a really

54:51

big make it or break it moment, which is

54:53

what's so crazy to me. It's like kids are

54:56

already so stressful. And then the

54:58

people that will like try to have a kid

55:00

to save their relationship. Yeah. It's

55:02

like, whoa, that's gonna do the exact opposite.

55:05

Like what? Yeah, but

55:07

tails all this time. Well,

55:10

we will keep our eyes peeled for an update

55:12

on this one, but

55:14

moving along, wow. Yeah.

55:17

Another one of this week's partners is

55:19

TalkSpace. I myself have benefited a lot

55:21

from therapy in the past, but one

55:24

of my biggest barriers to staying regular

55:26

with therapy was accessibility and affordability. And

55:28

I'm sure a lot of you out

55:30

there think that therapy is out of

55:32

your budget or price range and it's

55:35

just not obtainable. Well, that's where TalkSpace

55:37

comes in. TalkSpace is affordable and it's

55:39

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55:41

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55:46

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55:48

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55:50

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55:52

the comfort of my bed. And you

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the show. That's talkspace.com/THD promo code

56:25

space 80. I've

56:27

never done no headphones, but I think it's, it might

56:30

help me today. You think so. I

56:32

think so. I don't know. It was like, I was

56:34

like, I feel like I'm, I was

56:36

trying too hard to talk with the headphones on. So

56:39

here we are guys. Whoa. No

56:41

headphones. New era. I

56:43

might, I might be in a

56:45

new era. Crazy. Okay. This is

56:47

big. Take a deep breath. I'm a little stressed

56:49

about it, but here we go. Okay.

56:52

So this next one is 28 days

56:54

old coming from Am I the asshole? Titled

56:57

am I the asshole for not telling

56:59

my husband's family that I speak their

57:01

language? Oh,

57:04

I love this. Oh,

57:07

this dude. That is so

57:09

good. My husband, Peter 29

57:12

male and I 27 female have

57:14

been married for about three years. We

57:16

have one child together and I was pregnant with

57:18

our second child. I'm Western Canadian

57:21

while he is from Germany. We

57:23

lived in Canada for a long time,

57:25

but because of inflation, moving back to

57:27

Germany seemed like a better option for

57:29

us. We bought a

57:31

nice house in Hanover where Peter is

57:34

from the day after our

57:36

flights to Germany, we all visited Peter's

57:38

family. This was the second time I've

57:40

seen them. The first was on our

57:42

wedding. They greeted us and brought

57:44

us inside of the house fussing over my son.

57:47

We had dinner and soon we left the house

57:49

wanting to settle into our new home. We

57:52

visited Peter's family often for the next few

57:54

months, but I had

57:56

started to realize that they would sometimes speak about

57:58

me in German. They would

58:00

make rude comments on my hair and

58:02

makeup, question my fashion choices, and overall

58:04

were just very unkind to me. They

58:07

also said mean things about my

58:09

pregnant belly, which I

58:12

was already insecure about. I

58:14

ended up talking to my husband about this. I

58:16

told him that I didn't like the way that they

58:18

were treating me. I said that

58:20

I hated how my every choice was

58:23

being judged. He told me that he

58:25

would talk to his family. The

58:27

next time that we went to his parents' house, there

58:29

were no more mean comments. For

58:31

about three months, it was like nothing

58:33

ever happened. I gave birth

58:35

to a perfect baby girl and we named

58:37

her Lilith. Peter's family was

58:40

very upset when they heard the

58:42

name. If you don't

58:44

know, Lilith means ghost or of

58:46

the night. We didn't

58:48

pick this name because of its meaning, but

58:50

because it is a name that every girl

58:52

in my family has had for many years.

58:55

My middle name is Lilith, along with

58:57

my moms, my grandmas, and even my

59:00

great-grandmas. For a while, I didn't

59:02

visit my in-laws. I didn't want to hear them

59:04

talk about how I shouldn't have named my daughter

59:06

Lilith. But yesterday, when we

59:08

saw them again, it was my mother-in-law's birthday.

59:11

As soon as we showed up, things

59:13

started to go badly. Everyone

59:16

wanted to hold Lilith, which made my mother-in-law

59:18

upset because people weren't paying attention to her,

59:20

and it made me overwhelmed. I

59:23

didn't want people holding her. I was going

59:25

through a pretty bad postpartum depression, and it

59:27

was still pretty early to even see people.

59:30

I let people look at her, but declined

59:32

when anyone asked to hold her. During

59:35

dinner, I heard my sister-in-law talking to my

59:37

mother-in-law in German. I heard her

59:39

complaining about how she couldn't hold my baby. My

59:42

sister-in-law even had the audacity to

59:44

call me, and I quote, a

59:47

fat, ugly, hokey addict. Whoa.

59:52

What? I

59:54

turned to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law and

59:56

told them off in German. I

59:59

basically said that I had a baby. I've always known what

1:00:01

they have said about me, but calling me names was the

1:00:03

last straw. I also mentioned how I

1:00:05

have known German for almost my whole life. The

1:00:08

table instantly blew up.

1:00:11

People were yelling at me because apparently this was

1:00:13

my fault. I laughed with Peter and

1:00:15

we haven't talked to them since. So

1:00:17

am I the asshole? Oh

1:00:20

my God. No. That

1:00:23

is awesome. I

1:00:26

love this. Yeah, not the

1:00:28

asshole. That's incredible. She

1:00:32

just had that eight year old, what's

1:00:34

the saying, like the ace in the

1:00:36

sleeve or whatever. Yeah, what is that

1:00:38

saying? Whatever it is.

1:00:40

And the ace in the sleeve. Ace in the pocket? Ace

1:00:42

in the pocket, whatever it is.

1:00:44

Some card term. But she was

1:00:47

just holding on to that shit for years,

1:00:49

just waiting for the moment. I love this.

1:00:51

And like, of course they exploded because they

1:00:53

were, I mean, they

1:00:55

were caught. Embarrassed. Completely. Wow.

1:00:59

Also, the husband could have

1:01:02

easily told them when he

1:01:04

confronted them about them talking shit about her

1:01:06

because he obviously did because things were quiet

1:01:08

for a couple of months. So

1:01:10

something that said he could have at that time

1:01:12

said, you know, she speaks German, right? She can

1:01:15

hear you talking shit, stop. But

1:01:17

he didn't. I find that really

1:01:19

interesting. Yeah.

1:01:23

I like it. I like it. I

1:01:25

wonder like how close they even are with

1:01:27

the family. Like,

1:01:30

yeah, strange. Fat,

1:01:33

ugly, hokey addict. What does

1:01:35

that even mean? What's a

1:01:37

hokey? I think like cheesy.

1:01:40

What? Like, oh, that's hokey. Okay. And

1:01:43

like a fat, ugly, damn, damn. But to

1:01:45

call somebody fat and an addict, I feel

1:01:48

like those like, I

1:01:50

feel like those kind of like conflict.

1:01:52

I'm like very confused. They just like

1:01:54

put the whole bunch of really insulting

1:01:56

words together. I know. You're

1:01:59

looking up. So I wonder

1:02:02

if it might be a typo because,

1:02:07

or did I read it wrong? Because it wouldn't be the first

1:02:09

time I did that. Because

1:02:11

I looked up hokey and hokey's not

1:02:13

coming up, but honky is. Nope,

1:02:16

OP did type hokey. I've

1:02:19

heard the word hokey being used. Okay.

1:02:22

Yeah. So if they met

1:02:25

honky, honky is a racial slur. For

1:02:27

a white person. Used to refer to

1:02:29

white people. I've never heard honky. You've

1:02:31

never heard honky before. Oh.

1:02:34

People call me honky all the time. Where

1:02:36

are you from? Like, what? No,

1:02:39

but honky's like, yeah, I mean,

1:02:41

it's a very old term. Like I don't think people

1:02:44

use it

1:02:46

anymore. What does it mean? I

1:02:48

mean, it's just a

1:02:50

derogatory term for a white person, but it

1:02:52

doesn't really hold any power. No,

1:02:54

I've never heard it. Because it's like, it's

1:02:58

not, yeah, it's like somebody calling you a cracker.

1:03:01

Oh, that's okay. That's

1:03:04

crazy. Like crazy in the

1:03:06

sense that like, okay, why would they

1:03:08

even choose that? I don't think a German would

1:03:10

like even know the term

1:03:12

for, like, I don't think honky is

1:03:15

a word that Germans would

1:03:17

even have in the vocabulary. I could see

1:03:19

like Yankee. Oh, like, oh,

1:03:21

that Yankee. Yeah, but she's from Canada. Oh.

1:03:25

So. You're so on

1:03:27

it today, Ian. God. Keep it

1:03:29

in here. Yeah,

1:03:31

hokey. Hokey addict. Crazy,

1:03:34

crazy thing to say about someone because

1:03:36

they didn't let you hold their baby.

1:03:39

Yeah, yeah. Well,

1:03:41

and there was also that little thing she threw in

1:03:43

there that was kind of telling where she was like

1:03:45

the stepmom or the mother-in-law was

1:03:48

upset that the attention wasn't on her.

1:03:51

So telling. And it's like, okay, sounds

1:03:55

like not a fun family to be

1:03:57

around. Just sounds miserable. But what an

1:03:59

epic. like bomb to just drop in

1:04:02

the middle of like a family gathering.

1:04:04

I know, I really do like it.

1:04:07

I do think no matter when you told

1:04:09

them it was gonna be awkward when they

1:04:11

found out you could speak the same language.

1:04:14

Yeah. So it's like at that point, what is a

1:04:16

good time? And I would say

1:04:18

they must not be that close at least like the

1:04:20

husband with his family because if

1:04:22

you started dating someone, I

1:04:25

feel like I would say, oh, she speaks German, I'm

1:04:27

German, it's really great or the

1:04:30

fact that they only met one other

1:04:32

time, which was their wedding. Like

1:04:34

there was no other visits. And

1:04:37

I get that could be a financial decision

1:04:39

on both parties, but it

1:04:41

still is like not even a Zoom

1:04:43

or a FaceTime or like keeping up

1:04:45

or it just feels

1:04:47

like they're definitely not the closest.

1:04:50

Have you ever fantasized about learning

1:04:53

Vietnamese so you could just drop that bomb in

1:04:55

like a nail salon? I

1:04:58

have, there's a lot of languages I want to learn,

1:05:01

mostly French because I was very

1:05:03

curious what they were saying about me when I

1:05:06

was there, even though like I had the best

1:05:08

experience. Oh, all bad things. Really? In

1:05:10

Paris? Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah. They were so

1:05:12

nice though. No, they fucking hate everybody. My

1:05:17

agent just went there because she was like,

1:05:20

she went to the Olympics and she

1:05:22

was like, they were so nice. No, they,

1:05:24

yeah, I think Parisians are famous for like

1:05:26

hating everyone, especially Americans. Why

1:05:28

would they, they don't want you there.

1:05:30

Well, we're annoying. Oh yeah, absolutely. We're

1:05:33

really annoying. Oh yeah, no, we have it coming for

1:05:35

sure. Have you like traveled and you just kind of

1:05:37

like see other Americans and you slowly just start to

1:05:39

like walk away from them? It's embarrassing.

1:05:41

It really is. I tell people I'm

1:05:43

from Canada. Yeah, I mean, that's a

1:05:46

good move. Like it's really embarrassing, especially

1:05:48

in like other countries where people are

1:05:50

more quiet and Americans

1:05:52

stand out like a sore thumb because

1:05:54

we are so fucking loud. I know.

1:05:57

Or if you go to like Japan and

1:05:59

you're on a subway. Nobody talks. There's

1:06:02

like no, like nobody talks. Everybody

1:06:04

stays quiet. Yeah. And then- That's

1:06:06

New York though too. Like, did you take the subway at all

1:06:08

when we were just there? A little bit, yeah. No one was

1:06:10

talking. So like, I'm trying to talk to my fiance and like

1:06:12

everyone like kind of looks at you like, why are you talking?

1:06:14

Why are you talking? Yeah. Cause everyone's just

1:06:16

kind of like minding their own business, but it's like,

1:06:19

yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's, I don't

1:06:21

know if it's taboo or whatever, but

1:06:23

in Japan, yeah. Nobody talks on the

1:06:26

subway. It's very quiet. And

1:06:28

so like when we were there, like

1:06:30

it's, it's weird. And I feel bad

1:06:32

like talking on this-

1:06:34

Kind of makes you feel like, like, well

1:06:36

more out of place, but like also scared.

1:06:38

Like why is no one talking? Like talk.

1:06:42

It's not a thing. Well, top

1:06:44

comment on this one. Not the asshole.

1:06:47

Assholes are never wrong. They remain assholes

1:06:49

by refusing to ever take ownership of

1:06:51

their own words or actions. So they

1:06:53

never have to change. They can

1:06:55

be as judgmental and insulting as they want

1:06:57

because they're right. And anyone who challenges them

1:06:59

must be at fault. So of

1:07:02

course it's your fault that they were insulting

1:07:04

you. You couldn't possibly have been in the

1:07:06

wrong. Sorry, you married into a

1:07:08

family of assholes. I thought

1:07:10

Germans were supposed to be like blunt and honest,

1:07:12

like to your face. I

1:07:15

feel like there's a lot of people that

1:07:17

embrace that being a part of their culture.

1:07:19

Yeah. And I would agree. I've

1:07:21

heard it through the grapevine that Germans, New

1:07:24

Yorkers love to say they'll say it to

1:07:26

your face. Yeah. It's not mean,

1:07:28

we're just straightforward. Yeah. So there's

1:07:30

a couple of people that are definitely like that. Yeah.

1:07:34

Just goofy. Also your

1:07:36

son, your brother,

1:07:38

her husband is there. Don't

1:07:40

you think he can understand you at the very

1:07:42

least and know you're talking shit about his wife?

1:07:44

Truly. Yeah. What

1:07:47

do you think you're doing? Yeah, has he

1:07:49

stood up for her at all in these

1:07:51

family gatherings? That is a

1:07:53

good question. There are some

1:07:55

comments from OP. A

1:07:57

lot of people are asking, when

1:08:00

you even speak German. And there's

1:08:02

a comment in German. Das

1:08:04

varr aggressive und ich bin der für

1:08:07

Herr. Not gonna go

1:08:09

any further, you guys know I'm butchering that. But

1:08:12

I think there's some proof there. Sure. My

1:08:15

husband does know that I speak German. I asked

1:08:17

my husband not to tell them though. I

1:08:20

never wanted it to go this far. I

1:08:22

was going to surprise his mother on her birthday

1:08:24

by speaking it to her in her

1:08:27

language. I did show her on

1:08:29

her birthday, but it was in the wrong way.

1:08:32

And I doubt that speaking in German would change their views

1:08:34

on me. The majority of them, no

1:08:36

Russian. And I tried to impress them with my

1:08:38

Russian, but they acted like it was common knowledge

1:08:40

to speak it. Oh, so

1:08:42

there East is Hanover in East Germany or

1:08:45

Eastern, Eastern area of Germany? I

1:08:50

would say no. It's kind

1:08:52

of, you're looking at

1:08:54

a map. Berlin is on your right. And

1:08:57

then you have Amsterdam on your left. It's

1:08:59

halfway between them. It's kind of like North

1:09:02

center of Germany. Got

1:09:04

you. Closer to Denmark

1:09:06

than like Czechoslovakia,

1:09:09

Poland, Hungary, Austria.

1:09:14

Okay. Interesting. But

1:09:17

it is interesting that you didn't want your

1:09:19

husband to tell them. Yeah,

1:09:22

that's, I mean, that's just doing a

1:09:24

lot of legwork for no reason. That's

1:09:26

just a weird thing to be like,

1:09:28

hey, don't tell them that I

1:09:30

know German. That's kind of weird. Well, OP

1:09:33

does admit I kept

1:09:35

it from them so I

1:09:37

could hear what they were saying about me. Yeah,

1:09:40

which is just their family. I don't know.

1:09:43

Do you need to act

1:09:45

like you're a spy in your

1:09:47

family? Yeah,

1:09:49

and I guess it's like, well, what's the point?

1:09:54

I wouldn't want to give someone the

1:09:56

opportunity to talk shit about me to

1:09:58

my face, basically. Yeah. So I would

1:10:00

rather they know. Right. It

1:10:03

is interesting. I guess they would just switch to Russian though. But

1:10:05

she knows Russian too. She knows Russian too? Yeah.

1:10:09

Yeah. Well, we got a polyglot over

1:10:11

here. Like a bad-ass. They

1:10:13

all speak multiple languages, the family.

1:10:16

They speak German, English, and his siblings and

1:10:18

mother all speak Russian. His dad is from

1:10:21

Russia. Okay, gotcha. So they know

1:10:23

a couple, but like OP being

1:10:25

from Canada, like I'm very impressed with

1:10:27

all the languages here. She probably knows

1:10:29

French too, being

1:10:32

from Canada. Oh yeah. Yeah,

1:10:35

one of my exes was Canadian and he went to

1:10:37

like a French immersion school. They started

1:10:39

him young over there, which we should do here.

1:10:43

Yeah, interesting. No other comments

1:10:46

besides like, they mostly just

1:10:48

commented on my appearance. One

1:10:50

that I remember was when I was

1:10:52

pregnant, my mother-in-law said how my maternity

1:10:54

dress made me simply look fat. Cool.

1:10:57

Others were comments on my hair. I have

1:10:59

pretty thick curly hair, so it's often a

1:11:01

mess. That one really hurt because I

1:11:03

had spent a long time working to get it to

1:11:05

flatten. My husband has had

1:11:07

contact, mostly angry calls, but

1:11:09

I have not had direct contact with anyone

1:11:11

yet. Wow.

1:11:16

My husband had only heard a few of the things.

1:11:18

And when he did, he would tell my in-laws that

1:11:20

it was rude. He didn't do much,

1:11:22

but it still helped. So he

1:11:24

was sticking up for her when he had the

1:11:26

opportunity. Yeah, this family just sounds

1:11:29

nasty. I've

1:11:31

heard them curse out Americans and call

1:11:33

Canada the 51st American state. It

1:11:36

could be wrong, but it seems like they mostly

1:11:38

don't like me. So

1:11:41

maybe a little prejudiced against us

1:11:44

North American people. I get it.

1:11:46

Teach their own. We earned it. Teach their own.

1:11:49

And Canada is America's hat, so.

1:11:51

Yeah, so cute up there. I

1:11:54

really wish Canada would have gotten Minnesota. That

1:11:57

would have been really nice. Yeah.

1:12:00

for the healthcare? Yeah. Yeah.

1:12:02

Yeah, God, and just that poutine and those

1:12:04

ketchup chips and all the good stuff they

1:12:06

got up there. Do you guys, do y'all

1:12:09

got Timmies over there? Tim Hortons. We

1:12:12

had one in my college dinky town, it's

1:12:14

called. It's like my little college town. Okay.

1:12:17

But it went out of business. What?

1:12:19

Didn't last. The poutine didn't

1:12:21

get people to come through

1:12:23

that door? No. Damn. They

1:12:26

didn't realize what they had. Just a gift. Gift.

1:12:29

That's crazy. No update.

1:12:31

Another one. What are you doing to

1:12:33

us? It's like a

1:12:35

month old. That's crazy. I

1:12:38

want to know how the next family gathering goes. Please

1:12:41

tell us. Probably not great. I

1:12:44

can't imagine that's going to put them on a good

1:12:46

foot. Do you think she's going to even get invited?

1:12:52

I don't know. Like you still invite

1:12:54

family members that you don't like to

1:12:56

your family gatherings, right? Like we all

1:12:58

got that one crazy relative that we

1:13:00

don't really like to have around, but

1:13:02

they got to come. We're trying to

1:13:04

play on Christmas right now. We're already

1:13:06

going through that. Yeah. Yeah. Are they

1:13:09

coming to your place? We're trying to

1:13:11

decide because we did have to

1:13:13

move hosting because it used to be hosted at

1:13:15

their house and things would always go bad.

1:13:18

So then we moved to my grandma's because her

1:13:20

place felt very neutral, but that

1:13:22

still went bad. So now we're kind of

1:13:25

out of hosting options. So

1:13:27

I think we might just host it in my barn.

1:13:30

Host it in a hotel, you know. Have

1:13:33

everyone bring panties. Like the, yeah, exactly. Have

1:13:35

them bring panties. You know,

1:13:37

it'll be a fun game. Oh my

1:13:40

God. That'd be the last thing I'd

1:13:42

want to do is identify people by their underwear. Relatives,

1:13:45

yeah. No, that would be bad. Especially relatives. That

1:13:47

would be bad. Ugh. No.

1:13:51

At least you probably know who Granny's was. Except

1:13:55

I could see my grandma just rocking

1:13:57

a thong. Really? Yeah. She

1:14:00

gets crazy like that. I could see her being a

1:14:02

little freaky. That's awesome. Yeah. I love that.

1:14:05

I'm sorry, Grandma. She

1:14:08

watches every single one of these. She's been on

1:14:10

an episode of my dad's show. Has

1:14:12

she? Yeah, she's a great podcaster. Wow.

1:14:15

Great podcaster. I got to get her on my show. I think

1:14:17

everyone would really like her. I

1:14:19

think that'd be great. Like getting some advice

1:14:22

from the, is

1:14:26

that the silent generation? Yeah, she's like 80. She's

1:14:29

something. Sure. You can

1:14:31

pull up some, like,

1:14:34

am I the asshole for storming

1:14:36

Normandy beach? I

1:14:38

don't know. You know, she did some stuff.

1:14:42

She was a wild one. She was

1:14:44

very rebellious and she's had like a

1:14:46

couple husbands. She's on her third

1:14:49

right now. Okay. And this third

1:14:51

one was actually her high school sweetheart

1:14:54

that she didn't wait for. She

1:14:57

ended up marrying my grandpa. She

1:14:59

didn't wait for him while he was in

1:15:01

the Navy. And then he came back and

1:15:03

she was married and then they reconnected like

1:15:05

10 years ago. Whoa. That's sweet. She's

1:15:08

so cool. She's so cool. Are they

1:15:10

in love? Definitely. That's awesome.

1:15:12

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1:15:15

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1:16:23

Okay, this next one. We have

1:16:25

ourselves a Catan game coming up soon. We

1:16:27

do. This one

1:16:29

involves gaming. Oh, okay. It

1:16:32

is two days old coming from Am I the

1:16:34

Asshole? Titled Am I the

1:16:36

Asshole for always putting my boobs on

1:16:38

the table? Hell

1:16:41

no. So basically my

1:16:43

group of friends, about eight total, get

1:16:45

together every week for D&D. Dungeons

1:16:48

and Dragons, I assume. Okay. There

1:16:50

are only two women in our group,

1:16:53

including myself. It's always at Friend A's

1:16:55

house because he's the DM and has

1:16:57

a fancy table and his whole setup

1:17:00

is there. A

1:17:02

has a fiance who recently moved in with him.

1:17:05

She's cool and I don't really have anything against her.

1:17:07

She just has her own group of friends and

1:17:09

doesn't really have the same interest as us or

1:17:12

click, for a lack of a better word,

1:17:14

with her husband's friends, us.

1:17:17

She recently has been trying to get

1:17:19

more into A's interests. So she

1:17:22

has been there for our games. She

1:17:24

doesn't play with us, just kind of watches

1:17:26

and plays on her phone, which

1:17:28

is fine of course. A has

1:17:31

a table he has set up specifically for

1:17:33

the game, one with a

1:17:35

recessed middle, so we don't have to

1:17:37

put away our stuff at the end. He

1:17:39

just puts a leaf over the top to protect it.

1:17:42

Because of that, in order to

1:17:44

move around your character, you

1:17:46

have to lean forward or stand to

1:17:48

be able to reach it. Okay. Now

1:17:52

I have big boobs. I'm not

1:17:54

a particularly big woman. I'm like

1:17:56

in my twenties, five, four, 155 ish pounds. with

1:18:00

H cup breasts. And yes,

1:18:02

before you ask, I've already started the process

1:18:04

of getting a reduction and I cannot wait

1:18:06

to have this weight off of me. The

1:18:09

problem is that when I lean forward

1:18:11

to move my character,

1:18:14

my breasts squish up against the side of

1:18:16

the table and after a while it gets

1:18:18

uncomfortable and painful. So I've

1:18:20

taken to lifting up a little and

1:18:22

settling with my breasts sitting on the

1:18:24

edge of the table. It

1:18:27

doesn't push them up or call attention to

1:18:29

them. To be honest, I

1:18:31

don't even think it's noticeable. With

1:18:33

the height of the chairs, I can still

1:18:35

sit normally with them there and

1:18:37

lean forward without hurting my boobs.

1:18:41

This is crazy. I've

1:18:44

been doing this for months and no

1:18:46

one has said anything but

1:18:48

last week, A's

1:18:50

fiance snapped out of nowhere and

1:18:53

accused me of trying to quote,

1:18:55

put myself on display and to

1:18:57

put my boobs away because no

1:19:00

one cares. I was

1:19:02

shocked and didn't know what she was talking about

1:19:04

at first. Neither did anyone else

1:19:06

until she pointed at my boobs and called attention

1:19:08

to what I was doing. She

1:19:11

got really upset and caused a scene and we

1:19:13

ended the night early. She's still

1:19:15

mad at me and doesn't want me to come over to

1:19:17

their house anymore. I apologized and said

1:19:19

I would try not to do it anymore and

1:19:21

even told her how I'm going to get it

1:19:23

reduced next year. She called me

1:19:25

a quote show off

1:19:28

slut and is asking A

1:19:30

to stop being friends with me.

1:19:33

I'm at a loss. I do this

1:19:35

all the time and I've even caught myself doing

1:19:37

it at home with my own table without even

1:19:39

thinking about it. Am I the

1:19:41

asshole? No, no. God,

1:19:46

this is like it's another example

1:19:48

of like women,

1:19:52

you know, making the other woman the

1:19:54

problem. Damn, big titty

1:19:56

problems. Am I right? It

1:19:59

sucks. I

1:20:01

can't even imagine an H cup. So

1:20:03

I just looked up how much an H cup

1:20:06

would weigh. Yeah, I feel like I've never heard

1:20:08

of an H cup. Yeah,

1:20:11

so based on a 32 band. So

1:20:14

like A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H,

1:20:17

that's crazy. I know, well, and sometimes they go

1:20:19

double, like there's D, but then there's double D,

1:20:21

there's E and then double E. I

1:20:24

get really confused bra sizing. And this person

1:20:26

says she's five four. Yeah, five five. It's

1:20:30

like, just all boob. Yeah,

1:20:32

she's just, she's half boob. So

1:20:36

an H cup means that the

1:20:38

breasts likely weigh 2,800 grams. Okay.

1:20:43

Okay, for those people that go by pounds,

1:20:46

that's about six pounds. I

1:20:49

don't know if that's six pounds of boob. Per or

1:20:53

for both? There's not a lot of clarification on this.

1:20:56

One could assume both based on

1:20:58

them. Yeah. Saying

1:21:01

breasts. Gosh. But that's

1:21:03

like, I mean, that's

1:21:05

a lot. Sure, yeah. And

1:21:08

then it like, it pulls on your skin. Yeah,

1:21:11

yeah. I'm surprised they don't make boob

1:21:13

like harnesses that you can just add

1:21:15

on to your outfit. Yeah.

1:21:18

Our bras really suck. So I've

1:21:20

heard. Yeah. Well, I've worn a few bras

1:21:22

in my time. Have you? Yeah, we used

1:21:24

to do a lot of like playing

1:21:27

women in videos. Did

1:21:30

you like weigh them down with melons to really get

1:21:32

the full effect? Or did

1:21:34

you just stuff toilet paper? Well, we

1:21:36

had various things that we would stuff with. We

1:21:39

did, yeah, you know, sometimes we would do

1:21:42

socks. Sometimes we would do like a silicone

1:21:44

kind of like pouch. Okay.

1:21:50

But never anything. Yeah,

1:21:52

but never anything that probably

1:21:54

approximated the weight of a

1:21:57

real breast, I would think. I

1:21:59

do. I do occasionally run with this

1:22:02

vest that has these like

1:22:04

two like water things on the front.

1:22:06

Oh yeah. And I'm like, oh,

1:22:08

I kinda get it now. I get it, I'm

1:22:10

sloshing. Yeah, there's like water weighs a bit, you

1:22:13

know? And yeah, I'm like, oh, now I kind

1:22:15

of understand it, but I only

1:22:17

have to deal with that for like an hour. Minimal

1:22:19

time, yeah. I literally, sometimes I will wear at least

1:22:22

two. I have to wear two, but sometimes I'll wear

1:22:24

three sports bras when I go riding. What?

1:22:27

Yeah. I just like to really just

1:22:29

like suck it in. Yeah, because otherwise they bounce so much

1:22:31

and they pull on your skin. Can I get a heart?

1:22:33

It's just the boobs, they're berated.

1:22:36

I get it. But this person. Yeah.

1:22:38

If no one's noticing, like I could see if it

1:22:41

was like, hey guys, I gotta get the girls up.

1:22:43

And like, you're making a big scene to like pick

1:22:45

them up and drop them on the table. I

1:22:49

could see like that being a little like uncomfortable.

1:22:52

Yeah. But like, if no

1:22:54

one's even noticing. I'm

1:22:56

sure. You think people

1:22:58

are noticing? I'm sure everybody's noticed. I'm

1:23:01

sure everybody's noticed. You

1:23:04

can't not notice that,

1:23:06

but like nobody's

1:23:09

made like a deal

1:23:11

out of it. Like it seems like

1:23:13

everybody's been respectful and

1:23:15

has not talked about it. I

1:23:17

guarantee you the fiance,

1:23:20

is that what she was, girlfriend, fiance? Yeah,

1:23:22

it was kind of confusing. I'm

1:23:24

sure like she has probably complained

1:23:26

about it a lot of times

1:23:28

to the DM. And

1:23:33

he's probably waved

1:23:36

it off as not a big deal cause it's

1:23:38

not. It's just like, that's her body. Like what

1:23:40

do you want her to do about it? Like,

1:23:43

and obviously that's just

1:23:45

insecurity. And maybe

1:23:47

she has trust

1:23:50

issues with her partner.

1:23:53

I could see it based on this reaction. And

1:23:55

well, I mean, and okay, I'd say

1:23:57

this is probably. but

1:24:02

he's probably said something about it

1:24:04

to her. You think? I think,

1:24:06

you know, maybe he's been like,

1:24:08

I mean, he's

1:24:12

probably said something and that's probably why

1:24:14

she's freaking out because- Or

1:24:16

she's brought it up and she was annoyed

1:24:19

with how he didn't care about it.

1:24:22

And now she's just like, well, if he's not gonna say anything, I

1:24:25

am. Like I could see that

1:24:27

too. I think both are likely. I

1:24:31

think, yeah, she probably

1:24:33

feels a bit insecure by

1:24:35

that. But at the end

1:24:37

of the day, it's like that's

1:24:39

just how her body's built and

1:24:41

you can't shame her for

1:24:44

doing something to make herself

1:24:46

more comfortable. Literally, it's

1:24:49

just so she's comfortable and not

1:24:51

in pain. And like, it

1:24:54

is very body shaming. And like when you

1:24:56

have someone who's already insecure about it, trying

1:24:59

to make the moves to get a reduction, rubbing

1:25:02

that in, pointing it out, shaming

1:25:04

her for it, like that is so

1:25:07

brutal, especially coming from another woman. Like,

1:25:10

come on. And to do it in front

1:25:12

of everyone. Pull her aside at

1:25:14

least. Yeah, pull her aside and voice

1:25:16

your concerns. And then they

1:25:18

can have a conversation about it and she could

1:25:20

say, okay, like, you

1:25:23

know, if you want, I can try to

1:25:25

like wear like

1:25:28

a sweater or do something to like

1:25:31

make you feel better or like, how

1:25:33

can we make this? Yeah. How can

1:25:35

we make you not feel uncomfortable by

1:25:37

this? Not that she

1:25:39

needs to make any concessions for this woman. No.

1:25:43

Maybe you should leave. I know it's your house, but maybe

1:25:45

you should leave for game night if you're so uncomfortable. For

1:25:47

real. Have some fun with your friends. For real. But

1:25:50

something does tell me he's probably made a comment about

1:25:53

her big old swinging titties. Man.

1:25:56

Top comment. They quote what OP

1:25:58

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