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0:30

Wow, it feels weird to be back in

0:32

the studio. We

0:35

have not recorded an

0:37

actual episode in so long,

0:39

just with the tour. It's been

0:41

wild. I

0:44

know, we also haven't recorded like me and you

0:46

for a minute and so this feels kind of

0:48

odd. It feels like a lot of pressure. We're

0:51

missing, yeah. We're

0:53

missing Justin. We're missing someone. Well, because usually, you

0:55

know, if I don't really know my thoughts

0:58

yet, I can just let Justin

1:00

say his thoughts first. And now I

1:02

just have to really

1:05

try to figure out my thoughts before I speak. You

1:08

know, it's gonna be okay. I

1:10

think today's theme will be a really fun one. It's

1:13

a wee bit rude. Like were the people

1:15

involved rude or is this just like, ah,

1:18

it's not, you know, so rude or we'll

1:20

see. I feel like a lot

1:22

of them might be like it wasn't

1:24

necessarily rude, but like it could

1:26

have gone better. I

1:29

don't know. I'm very intrigued. I honestly

1:31

have not read most of these. I

1:33

was like scrambling to pick this morning to get ready

1:35

for us and just like I kind of went off

1:37

title and like the first line. So

1:40

you might be surprised by some of these too. I literally

1:42

I'm mostly surprised by all of them. Like

1:44

I and then I had one saved in a

1:47

theme for it. I haven't read

1:49

it in a month and a half. So

1:51

now I'm like, okay, what are we getting

1:53

into? I'm so scared. I like the title.

1:55

We bit a wee bit rude. Just a

1:58

wee bit. Maybe a lot a bit. Where

2:00

does we bit come from? Like which country

2:03

started that? I feel like it's

2:06

a we bit. Doesn't it give like

2:08

Irish or something? Yeah, I was, or Harry

2:11

Potter even. It

2:16

actually comes from the wizarding world. Scottish.

2:19

It comes from Scotland, the

2:21

word we. I should

2:23

know that, I'm Scottish. Wow, you really did

2:26

a disservice to your heritage. I know, well my

2:28

mom didn't teach me anything about

2:31

the Scottish side. Well,

2:33

I'll get you a trip over there. Thank you. We'll

2:36

go adventure, I really wanna go to Scotland. I know.

2:38

I really wanna go. The Taylor Swift concert

2:41

too. Dude, I

2:43

might still just pull one out of the

2:45

hat right before Ollie's birthday. Just, I'm

2:48

going, I'm going scorched

2:50

earth, going ham, going balls

2:52

to the walls, going crazy,

2:54

going catatonic. I'm like, I'm

2:57

like this close to the edge, I would say. Okay,

3:00

there's a good amount of room there. Well

3:02

maybe. Lots of wiggle rooms, maybe there's still

3:05

some wiggle rooms. I'm dealing with an insane

3:07

amount of burnout where I just

3:09

like, I'm like, there's

3:11

an episode that came out recently and someone was

3:13

like, I feel like you shouldn't respond to these

3:15

types of stories. And I'm like, I'll do you

3:17

one better. I won't respond at all. Like, I'm

3:19

just like, I'm so burnt out. I

3:23

know. I know like, you

3:25

know, the tour was amazing meeting everyone.

3:27

And now I'm like, honestly, I just

3:29

only want to do live. Literally, literally.

3:31

I love the live shows. We get

3:33

real time feedback and it's playful and

3:35

it's fun. It's fun. It

3:38

just feels so good and different.

3:40

Yeah, exactly. And so I'm just

3:42

like, I'm really struggling this week with like finding

3:44

the motivation. You know, I know there's a

3:47

lot I don't have experience on, but

3:49

like if I only pick

3:51

stories I can genuinely talk about because

3:54

of my experiences, we wouldn't really

3:56

have a show. No. We wouldn't have

3:58

a story about fucking a coconut. because I've

4:00

never done that, but you want to. I

4:02

do really want to. I've told a lot of people that at live

4:04

shows, like if I had an appendage

4:07

to do it, I would, but

4:09

I haven't slept with my brother. Like, you know

4:11

what I mean? Like, obviously those are obscene stories,

4:13

but I don't relate to any of

4:15

those. And that's just the beauty of this show.

4:18

It's us giving our take, our

4:21

hot cake. It could be wrong. It

4:23

could be great. And then the community

4:25

fills in, in a kind, respectful way.

4:29

That's the show. That's the show, guys. That's

4:32

the show. I love this energy. That's the show.

4:35

So I told you, I'm this close

4:37

to the edge and I just need

4:39

to find a way to get reeled

4:41

back in because it's just, burnout

4:43

is fucking crazy to deal with.

4:46

Burnout is like, by far

4:48

my, like, depression,

4:50

anxiety, all goes

4:52

into burnout. Like, it's a beast

4:54

of a little mental thing. So, here

4:57

we are. I mean, I,

4:59

the live show, okay, so what we, I

5:01

got back from New York

5:03

on Saturday night

5:06

and I woke up and I moved

5:08

my, all of my stuff out of

5:10

my apartment the entire day. I, moving sucks.

5:12

Oh my God. I forgot how much

5:14

energy it takes, but like doing that

5:16

right after all of that travel that we

5:19

had, I'm like, wow, I am, I

5:21

am ready to take some naps. I

5:24

could nap for a year and it wouldn't be enough. But

5:28

let's get into these stories because as

5:30

you can tell, I'm rarin' to go.

5:32

Rare, rare. I'm gonna

5:34

fucking go crazy today. Who knows what takes

5:36

you're gonna get today? Watch

5:39

out. Let's

5:41

dive in. Let's do it. I

6:04

really like this unhinged version of you. I

6:06

am fucking unhinged. I love it. That's my

6:08

favorite word. I truly think if you don't

6:10

go unhinged at least once a week,

6:12

you are not living. Ooh. That

6:15

is like a thing. I like that quote. You

6:17

need to be unhinged at least once a week.

6:19

You see a video on TikTok, you better fucking

6:21

cry your eyes out, bitch. Oh, I do. Like,

6:23

you go unhinged once a week. Your

6:25

takeout, they forgot the guac and chips in your order.

6:28

You better go unhinged. Like,

6:30

there's this one thing a week where you

6:33

need to let some rage energy out. And

6:35

if you don't, I'm concerned. I

6:37

was crying my eyes out because...

6:41

Hold on, let me redo that. I

6:45

was crying because I was watching a TikTok

6:47

yesterday. It was

6:49

this little girl finding out that she's going to be

6:51

a big sister. And it

6:53

was such a long, long TikTok because

6:55

it took her a while to read and

6:57

to understand what was going on. And I

6:59

patiently watched the whole thing and started with

7:01

little sniffles. And then by the end, I'm

7:03

full blown just crying. I've cried

7:05

over multiple things on social media this week.

7:08

One, if you guys follow like Juniper the

7:10

Fox, her little brother

7:12

Moose died. I was crying about that.

7:15

And then... Wait, oh, who? It's like a

7:17

dog. He had to be put down. I

7:19

was crying about that. And then

7:21

what else? I cried about... Oh,

7:24

there was like this compilation of like poop

7:26

pranks where like parents would ask their kid to

7:28

get them toilet paper and then they would smear

7:30

like fake poop on them and the kids would

7:33

get so upset. And I was crying

7:35

about that because that felt bad. But that was like two

7:37

years ago. Well, I just thought. And

7:39

I just thought maybe it came back around for

7:42

another round of... Honestly, Justin

7:44

pulled it up and I was like, this is mean. Honestly

7:46

pranking kids is so funny. I don't know if it's

7:48

right or not. It feels like it's probably wrong. But

7:52

like this video that I saw, this mom saying

7:54

that she ate all of her kids Halloween

7:56

candy, that also was an old one

7:59

that resurfaced. But the

8:01

little girls were like, but

8:03

we have candy in the fat pantry. It's OK.

8:05

And all she's like, no, I ate that too.

8:07

And they're like, well,

8:10

we can get some more next Halloween. I remember you telling

8:12

me about this one. It was so cute. But

8:14

OK, here we go. OK, let's do it.

8:17

This one is coming from Am I the Asshole? It

8:19

is six days old titled Am I

8:21

the Asshole for walking out of the Brattle

8:24

Salon when I found out my friends were

8:26

making fun of me behind my back. I

8:29

have two friends, Gabby and Shelly. All of us are

8:31

23, if that matters. We

8:33

were roommates in college and stayed in the same

8:35

city after graduation. While the three

8:37

of us are close, I've always known that

8:39

Gabby and Shelly are closer. They

8:42

have a really sweet friendship. Shelly

8:44

is getting married. Gabby is the maid of honor, and

8:46

I'm one of the bridesmaids. Over

8:48

the weekend, I went with Shelly so she could

8:50

look at wedding dresses. Gabby was

8:52

supposed to come with us, but got called into work last

8:54

minute. I helped Shelly pick out

8:56

some dresses. So then she went with a consultant

8:59

to try them on. Shelly asked

9:01

that I take pictures and videos on her

9:03

phone to send to her mom and Gabby.

9:06

I was getting the camera ready when a text from

9:08

Gabby came through. I didn't mean to

9:10

click on it and was instantly going

9:12

to click back out when I saw

9:15

one of my Instagram pictures in their

9:17

private chat from earlier that morning. Both

9:20

were making fun of me for the face

9:22

I was making and my outfit choice. It

9:25

didn't appear to be in very good

9:27

nature. I admit curiosity got the

9:29

best of me, so I searched my name

9:31

in the chat. I found multiple pictures that

9:33

I, my boyfriend or my mom have posted

9:35

of myself. Absolutely ripping

9:37

them to shreds. Stop.

9:41

Ranging from selfies to pose shots

9:43

to even a few baby pictures.

9:46

They'd also make fun of me in general terms

9:48

of the way I talked, or my hair, the

9:50

way I ate. This went back

9:52

as far as I could tell. At

9:54

least a year. My

9:57

heart broke. It all felt so

9:59

juvenile and hype. school, while

10:01

we all joke around, I would never

10:03

do this to them. Nor have they

10:05

ever even tried to instigate these types

10:07

of conversations with me about

10:10

the other one on one. I

10:12

was in tears. As someone who was

10:14

bullied all through middle and high school, it

10:16

just brought me back to a horrible place.

10:19

I put the phone in Shelly's purse and brought

10:21

it to another employee, telling her to tell

10:23

Shelly that I had to go. I drove

10:25

home and had a long cry. Shelly

10:28

texted me by the time I made it home, asking where

10:30

I went. I said I was going home

10:32

and we could talk later. When she did

10:35

call a few hours later, she was understandably

10:37

confused and hurt that I had left. I

10:39

told her what I found, explaining I

10:42

only looked further because of the initial

10:44

text I accidentally saw. She

10:46

went off on me for looking

10:48

through her private texts and said

10:51

those were none of my business.

10:53

My God. She also told me

10:55

I shouldn't have left the store without saying anything.

10:58

I said I didn't want to make a scene,

11:00

but also knew I couldn't fake being happy for

11:02

her. No. Shelly told me the

11:04

texts were all in good fun and

11:07

clearly she loves me because I'm going to be

11:09

her bridesmaid. Clearly you don't. She

11:12

added that I'm only hurt because I chose

11:14

to read all of those texts. Later

11:17

on, Gabby called to tell me that

11:19

I invaded Shelly's privacy. Oh God. And

11:21

hurt her by walking out. Please. My

11:23

boyfriend and mom think I did the

11:25

right thing by walking out, but

11:27

obviously they're a little biased. I

11:29

just want some unbiased looks. Wasn't

11:32

an asshole to look through the text and

11:34

then leave? No. No. My

11:37

story. No. This is more than a wee

11:39

bit rude. Like, yeah, I at first I

11:41

was like, okay, well, she walked out like,

11:43

like, what were they really saying? I didn't

11:45

know, like, based on the title. This

11:48

is beyond justified. I

11:50

honestly would have taken screenshots, sent them

11:52

to myself. And then put those bitches

11:54

on blast. Like, you guys are bad

11:56

friends, genuinely bad friends. This isn't a wee bit

11:58

rude. This isn't a. like to

12:02

do that to one of your bridesmaids. And

12:05

then to blame her like you invaded my

12:07

privacy. Right. You invaded my space. You chose

12:10

to read those. You hurt yourself by choosing

12:12

to read those. And that is just so

12:14

typical and predictable. That is just the like,

12:16

I got caught and I feel stupid. And

12:18

so I'm going to try to flip this

12:20

because I'm going to try to defend myself

12:22

and. That's

12:24

crazy. But it's absolutely

12:26

ridiculous. And it's just like, I mean, yeah,

12:29

if you guys all poke fun with each

12:31

other and you know, these, there was one

12:33

thing and it's just like, ha ha. Her

12:35

outfit made me laugh today. But

12:37

the fact that that was like something they

12:39

do, like that was like a bonding moment

12:41

for them is crazy. Well,

12:44

and how baby pictures, baby pictures. What's

12:47

wrong with you guys? Like what type

12:49

of sick, like happy, like that's

12:51

what makes me like, that's

12:54

like when people like get addicted

12:56

to like hating on something. Do you know what

12:58

I mean? Like they like get addicted to like

13:00

something that makes them cringe. That's

13:02

what that feels like. Because how do you do

13:04

that consistently to like one of your closest friends?

13:08

It's how beyond weird. It's

13:11

beyond weird. That's so weird. I

13:13

just can't imagine like hating

13:16

someone so much to where you constantly

13:18

make it a thing to talk

13:21

about them. Like you're using that as

13:23

a way to bond with your other friends.

13:25

Yeah, it's like, there's so many times I've

13:27

like seen videos of people on TikTok where

13:29

it's like I found out one of my

13:31

best friends was actually my hater. And

13:34

it's like, I can't imagine

13:37

feeling that way about someone and still choosing to

13:39

be friends with them. Like

13:41

why? But I'm

13:43

working on like another podcast

13:46

with April McDaniel and like

13:48

Savannah James. It's called Everybody's

13:50

Crazy. And they

13:52

have some really, really crazy call ins.

13:54

And it's a really, really fun show

13:56

if anyone needs another podcast to listen

13:58

to. But we've been, recorded some episodes

14:00

yesterday and April was just talking about how

14:03

like out of all the emotions

14:05

like love is a big one, envy

14:07

is a big one, and like envy

14:09

is actually stronger than love. So

14:12

it's like I

14:14

get why people choose to do

14:16

that. Yeah. Like you're so envious of your friend

14:19

that you then grow to hate her. Yeah. I

14:22

don't know it's a weird, it's a

14:24

weird concept but I can kind of

14:26

like yeah. I was in

14:28

a fight with my ex-boyfriend and I was like

14:31

I hate him and my friend was like well

14:35

there's a fine line between love and hate and

14:37

I was like nope just hate, no love. I

14:41

was pissed but like and everyone knows that

14:43

phrase but I felt it in that moment

14:45

you know I was like wow I get

14:48

what what they're saying by that because I

14:50

had such intense angry feelings from that fight

14:52

because of the fact that I loved him.

14:55

Yeah. But that's

14:57

not the story. The story is just

14:59

weird. Top comment, not the

15:01

asshole. If I was in your place I

15:03

think I'd drop out of being in the

15:06

wedding. Mm-hmm. Duh. Like yeah. That is a

15:08

no-brainer. Yeah. Duh. Do not support this girl.

15:10

Do not make it like this is okay.

15:12

No. You're done. And even

15:14

a little bit ago I tried to

15:16

like say maybe if it was just one text and they

15:18

laughed at her outfit even that I'd be pissed. I'm like

15:20

why are you laughing about my outfit like what do you

15:22

what do you get out of that? Why are you sending

15:24

why are you what are you guys doing? You want to

15:26

buy my clothes bitch? Yeah. Go right ahead. Go

15:29

right ahead. You can dress me. I will pay

15:31

for a damn thing. Yeah. Oh but the fact

15:33

that it's just like a consistent thing that would

15:35

be really hard for me to imagine moving forward

15:38

with a wedding specifically like no.

15:41

It's one thing to jokingly make fun

15:43

of someone one time. There you go Lauren. But

15:46

seems like they've done this to you a bunch

15:48

of times and it doesn't seem like it was

15:50

light-hearted. If I was you I wouldn't feel bad

15:52

about looking through those messages at all. She handed

15:55

her phone to you and feels like fate took

15:57

the opportunity to expose them to you for who

15:59

they are. Yeah, that

16:01

is very true. Yeah, sorry. My lip.

16:04

No, you're good. It's probably Junie's cat

16:06

hair. Oh my god it probably is

16:08

just I know it definitely is but

16:11

That is so true because Both

16:14

of those girls knew they would be together She

16:16

wasn't even scared of getting caught because if she was

16:18

she would have deleted those mean messages Like

16:22

she didn't even care. She was like,

16:24

yeah, like I'm not ashamed of this

16:26

until she got caught Wow, but like

16:28

the the fact that that other girl

16:30

texted Shelly and it was right

16:32

there Like you accidentally click into the message and it's

16:34

right there easy to find Yeah,

16:37

come on You know, I

16:40

have a friend who this is reminding me who he

16:42

will talk a lot of shit like to

16:44

your face to anyone He'll say whatever he

16:46

wants. That's crazy. Like he won't ever do

16:48

it behind their back Like

16:51

that I like yeah If

16:53

he's gonna say something, yeah directly to the

16:55

person he does He'll stop a conversation if

16:57

people start talking about somebody else behind their

16:59

back like he's just he doesn't engage I

17:01

respect that there's people who have Relationships like

17:03

that with their friends where their friendship is

17:06

based on like banter and roasting each other

17:08

and those light jobs There are some people

17:10

that that's their friendship and they can handle

17:12

that That's not

17:14

what this is. This is behind the

17:16

back. This is mean conniving There's

17:19

another comment and like we've used this expression before

17:21

on an episode even with friends

17:23

like this who needs enemies You're

17:27

doing yeah, you don't deserve this

17:29

they don't deserve you Move

17:31

on find people that love and cherish you

17:33

and don't treat you like a punching bag

17:38

Okay, we've been through oh

17:40

wait he better road Okay,

17:43

so this next one is coming from am I the

17:45

asshole it is titled am I

17:47

the asshole for celebrating during a

17:49

co-workers meeting I have a friend

17:51

co-worker that always offers to make birthday

17:53

cakes for everyone this week It was

17:56

my birthday. So last weekend she texted

17:58

me asking what flavor I I would prefer.

18:01

I told her at this time I would take care of the

18:03

cake myself, and all she had to do was

18:05

be there to eat it. She told

18:07

me she would be there all day, except

18:09

for a two-hour period where she had a

18:11

meeting. I told her, great, I'll see you

18:14

then. When she was attending

18:16

her meeting, we didn't really want to wait.

18:18

Some people actually wanted to leave. So we

18:20

sung happy birthday and ate the cake without

18:22

her. I guess we could have

18:24

done it before her meeting, but I didn't think

18:26

about it. I didn't think she was mad

18:28

at us, because she talked to me

18:30

after that, asking how the cake was and all.

18:33

However, for the rest of the day, she

18:35

was not joining in as usual in our

18:37

group chat, and some of my coworkers are

18:39

saying that she's probably upset and that I

18:41

was a bit of an asshole. On

18:44

one hand, it's true that she always

18:46

makes sure to work around everyone's schedule

18:49

and leave slices for those who can't

18:51

be there. We didn't leave

18:53

her a slice because we finished the

18:55

cake. On the other hand,

18:57

it was the first time she wasn't the one organizing.

19:00

So we're not very used to it, and

19:02

I didn't expect her to mind. Am I

19:04

the asshole? I

19:07

mean, yeah. I

19:09

would say, yeah, this is rude. It

19:11

is rude. This is rude. I would say it's a

19:13

wee bit rude because it was, what

19:17

do you call it? Like incompetence rather

19:19

than actively trying to be rude.

19:22

Well, I'm like, I just want to make sure I'm like,

19:24

shit, I should have Googled rude before we started this. Rude.

19:28

Offensively impolite or

19:31

ill-mannered. Having

19:33

a startling abruptness. I

19:35

think that fits into like, offensively

19:38

impolite and ill-mannered. Yeah. She

19:41

reached out, she offered to make you a

19:43

cake. Okay, you wanted to

19:45

make your own cake, so you did. But

19:47

then you did it without her when she said, I

19:50

have a meeting, just this, like this is the time,

19:52

I just can't make it. Any other time is great,

19:54

I'll be there for you. I want to celebrate with

19:56

you. And then you literally chose that time. And

19:59

then. you didn't even save her

20:02

a slight. That's

20:04

yeah. Do like this person. That's

20:06

what I'm saying. I'm like it

20:08

sounds like it's actually Opie. really

20:10

didn't understand what. They did.

20:12

Been wrong and that's why I'm like.

20:15

Okay will be the this is a learning lesson

20:17

for you but to me it seems so obvious.

20:19

Of course that's rude. This person usually is always

20:21

like on top of that with everybody else and

20:23

than the one time she's like oh have a

20:25

medium right here but. I

20:28

want to help out and the other leave

20:30

her out completely It like even leaving a

20:32

nice would just be like it uses wait

20:34

for her but you didn't even leave her

20:36

a slice.like the bare minimum in that. Yeah,

20:38

if someone brought treats to work and I

20:40

didn't get one. I'd be

20:42

going on hands that would be my

20:44

one times a week and you are

20:46

you serious sport? I love treats. I

20:48

also think that those it sounds like

20:51

you know. The other

20:53

person might even be like little Taipei and

20:55

I see like Taipei people's the sickly when

20:57

they go out of their way to make

20:59

things happen for other people and they make

21:02

that's her prerogative. And then when the simple

21:04

as time somebody doesn't consider them as though

21:06

they can like push someone over the edge

21:08

he and I mean like it's like it

21:11

seems like oh they didn't leave a cake

21:13

for me but it's like know it's not

21:15

and supple of it all. know a one

21:17

thousand sucking percent be you look at what

21:20

she dies to accommodate her coworkers and she

21:22

tax. Them: What flavor would you like

21:24

to bake them a cape? Yeah lands.

21:26

This whole celebration includes everyone at work.

21:29

Let me tell you, baking cakes Not

21:31

cheap. Bay Team is

21:33

a labor of love. Time,

21:35

Money. Like. This is all

21:37

something I've ever seen in I honestly and

21:39

other think about it M S besides like

21:41

thirty the next the last two and can

21:44

hit for and I mean by you think

21:46

about it. even the costs of eggs Now

21:48

Crazy. You need eggs for a cake you

21:50

can even do a box makes you still

21:52

need those eggs isn't It's twenty bucks every

21:54

time and she's doing this for how many

21:56

coworker right that. add that make. A

21:58

decent amount of money and. Can

22:00

be brushed off and like if I were her

22:03

I'll be like, why do we do This is

22:05

why do I go out of my way. Why

22:07

do I do this for people? Yeah, she probably

22:09

won't anymore. I. Wouldn't? Yes, this

22:11

would be the saw for me.

22:13

Yes, not that camel's back but

22:15

it done no more. Takes these

22:17

bitches. I just love when you

22:19

use. When. They called

22:22

idioms is are those are cool I actually

22:24

don't know. Let's let's look at board Idiom.

22:27

And. In Go Back To School a

22:29

group of words established by usage as

22:31

having a meanie not deducible from those

22:33

of an individual words. It's Raining Cats

22:35

and Dogs as I see the light

22:38

gates said so yes to dollar days.

22:41

When for I lost a fourth grade

22:43

and. Yeah.

22:47

Okay, top comment. And. Let

22:49

me ask you this before we read

22:51

at can I can just scan Do

22:53

you also blamed the other coworkers and

22:55

less? Yeah, okay, yeah that that nobody

22:57

was being. Consider it or think you

22:59

might know. Yeah, so top comment. Sorry,

23:02

but this is a collective. you're the

23:04

asshole She told you when she wasn't

23:06

available and nobody thought to actually take

23:08

that into any count. Nobody.

23:10

Even thought to save a piece of cake

23:12

for the person who always makes the cakes

23:15

for everyone else. Yeah, none of you covered

23:17

yourselves and glory today. She

23:19

may not be angry, but she's

23:21

surely at the least rightfully feeling

23:23

hurt. She. Deserved better from all of

23:25

you, I think. true. That's very

23:27

true. Ah,

23:30

By. Side Co known as like that

23:33

just shows She wasn't even a thought

23:35

for any of the rain and honestly

23:37

in the beginning I feel like I

23:39

was little delicate and I take that

23:42

back legs incompetence is not an excuse.

23:44

you guys are being Apple's yeah and

23:46

I think like. I think it

23:49

even if you had a brain fart in that

23:51

moment and you're like oh my god it's it

23:53

was gone before I could. Even so, how did

23:55

on one. That. But

23:58

then it's like okay wolves. You should

24:00

be apologizing and re going out of your

24:02

way and be like hey I'm so sorry

24:04

I phone pressure to start things I said

24:06

such a good point it's an ice on

24:08

me like I'm so sorry I didn't make

24:11

sure you were there are save use as

24:13

a piece. Instead this person you're running a

24:15

red at and asking you know how do

24:17

not know, how do you yeah I do

24:19

not know. You were rude and inconsiderate and

24:21

bramble. With the.

24:23

One on my. Move. In

24:25

Alone. You

24:28

that sounded like of one

24:30

of the Hannah Montana transition.

24:32

Oh pacific. I

24:35

love life so yea

24:37

yea. Go.

24:42

Another one of the sweet spot as

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26:06

so this next sun as coming from

26:08

Mit asshole posted nine days ago. It

26:11

is titled mit asshole for

26:13

sending of Venmo request for

26:15

baby sitter hotel and goober

26:17

reimbursement after a dry wedding.

26:20

A friend from college got married this past weekend.

26:22

The wedding was forty five minutes from a house,

26:24

so my wife and I got a hotel room.

26:27

We. Checked in, had a few pregame

26:29

cocktails and we eu bird from the

26:31

hotel to the venue. We. Sit

26:33

down wedding happens is beautiful.

26:36

We. Get to the social hour as

26:38

it's called. And there is

26:40

no booze. Turns. Out this

26:42

was a dry weather in. There.

26:44

Was no indication that this was a dry wedding

26:46

before showing up. I. Checked the digital

26:49

version of the invite and website,

26:51

nothing indicating this. I'm pissed

26:53

for a few reasons. One, I

26:55

might not have our as the

26:57

if I knew this and to.

27:00

I'm pissed I blew a few hundred

27:02

bucks on a hotel for the night.

27:04

baby sitters and overs. I'm like what

27:06

the fuck. Other. Friends that

27:08

were there were grumbling insult similar to

27:10

me. The night went on

27:12

and the wedding was fine, but honestly a

27:14

bit of a bummer. Now.

27:17

That my wife and I have kids. Nights

27:19

like this are rarer and I was pumped

27:21

to do something so egypt out a bit

27:23

early and went out. Other friends

27:25

rolled with us. We. Laughed in

27:27

the middle of the dancing time and then

27:29

stay for the exit. Later. That

27:31

night I sent of Venmo requests

27:34

for the cost of Baby Sitter

27:36

Hotel and Hoover's. Yesterday.

27:38

I heard from my college buddy. He was

27:40

like what the fuck is this asshole. I

27:43

explained I was mad that this was a dry wedding.

27:45

The. Bride had family that were alcoholics

27:48

so they opted to not have

27:50

alcohol as an option. I told

27:52

him that's need to know information.

27:54

Not informing us of that. Caused.

27:57

Me and our other friends. A lot of

27:59

money. That I should have asked him

28:01

and not assumed it was a wet letting. I

28:03

said to him, alcohol is a default

28:06

option. If you change the default, you

28:08

tell people. He. Disagreed with

28:10

that notion. I said. You.

28:12

Drink: Why would I think it's dry?

28:15

We. Went back and forth for a while. She

28:17

still thinks I'm the asshole. Am I

28:19

the. Only

28:23

way I do think that like because

28:25

of the fact that weddings are pretty

28:27

consistently like. Recognizes.

28:30

Drinking events, it just kind of.

28:33

The. Is like that then it would be nice

28:35

to give people a heads up because of you

28:37

know he did you all of this stuff and

28:40

he what he would have done it differently with

28:42

believes that that that he said I wouldn't even

28:44

I might have not gone to the wedding like

28:46

okay as we are your that so you're literally

28:48

only going to there to support him be is

28:50

because you can get drunk like that's. That's.

28:53

Gonna mess that as very strange yeah I

28:55

agree though I to think that like. I

28:58

think the one part of this that I'll

29:00

agree with him on his like a would

29:02

be nice. if you know you let people

29:04

know if it's gonna be a dry wedding

29:06

just because typically they're not. but like that's

29:09

not you don't owe anybody that and it

29:11

if you definitely don't owe them his overs

29:13

and my that his hotel and his baby

29:15

sitter. That's insane and officer you so got

29:17

a night out of it. yeah you chose

29:19

to go out, you left your friends. Why

29:22

the on a damn thing You could have

29:24

still have fun. You. Laugh and

29:26

chose to go to a bar. Yeah,

29:28

at that point you had a pregame

29:30

cocktail or to spend the rest of

29:32

the wedding sobering up. Drive yourself home.

29:34

Yeah, you can then release the babysitter

29:36

early. The hotel might let you get

29:38

off the hook early. I don't know.

29:40

Some probably not. maybe five? probably not.

29:43

maybe so. But you save on ovaries,

29:45

you save on the baby sitter like.

29:47

Me: You chose your destiny At

29:50

that point out that uses sounds

29:52

like such an ass. Honestly we're

29:54

entitled is so and title are

29:56

entitled. I also think I I

29:59

do under. The end of the.

30:01

For. Frustration with not disclosing it in the

30:03

sense like. Some. People do pregame

30:06

weddings like we are you. We got

30:08

on our friend Noel's like shuttle bus

30:10

and we all had way clause right

30:12

a guy and even that like we.

30:15

Could. Have triggered someone by bringing a white

30:17

cloth afl and then it's like oh my

30:19

god they they have issues because they saw

30:21

a white caught like you just don't wanna

30:23

accidently cause a problem and so it would

30:25

be nice. like. Hey. This will

30:27

be a dry wedding. And please refrain from bringing

30:30

alcohol. But the law law, there's so many people

30:32

like. And. Maybe this is like

30:34

a hillbilly Minnesota wedding bank? But. We

30:36

showed up to my cousin's wedding and

30:38

we like tailgated like that yards as

30:40

yeah my Billie I know I went

30:42

to a Minnesota what he into and

30:44

like as the entire wedding party it

30:46

took a fireball sauce before her before

30:48

everyone went down so I am. I

30:50

mean maybe that's sad that our society

30:52

I like expects weddings the have alcohol

30:54

in it, but like it it's pretty

30:56

much has been very consistent at least

30:58

in the United States. I know of

31:00

that like there's alcohol and wedding so

31:02

I think that like. It. Would

31:04

be nice if you if people were avoiding not

31:07

a same you don't get how I kids play

31:09

out as the no kids what he in this

31:11

is a no alcohol etti yeah I know stuff

31:13

like that but yeah but I definitely think that

31:15

that's not us says nothing is around yeah that's

31:17

not grounds to treat your friend that way like

31:19

that's that's a moment of suicide ah that's how

31:21

was she would let me know and and drop

31:24

at their the asset. Move. On and on

31:26

a special day and you're gonna ruin it because even

31:28

get your fucking drain glued. Shut up. A

31:30

wall was also a really crazy

31:32

to me is he sent those

31:34

venmo were classed. The. Night.

31:39

The night I'd here. So for

31:41

his yours is such a taxi

31:43

as oh my god you're of

31:45

last All that is insane. Also

31:47

like let's chalk this up like

31:49

a hotel on average a hundred

31:51

dollars? Maybe two hundred. Okay, He

31:53

again you chose to do this.

31:55

Lubars. Fifty bucks Baby sitter, Safety

31:58

Hundred like. Chalk this up. The

32:00

wedding gift and move on Literally you're

32:02

not. You're not going to be friends

32:04

with this person acted as if you

32:06

are this it's and title ah my

32:08

bad or I would drop them so

32:11

fast he to the meal I on

32:13

legs weddings are expensive without alcohol. To

32:15

this person spending a lot of money

32:17

and having you and your partner com

32:19

last you need to grow up. This

32:21

is so beyond rude it's crazy you

32:23

say now as a bird and night

32:26

of to that detail is actually a

32:28

Muslim guy wilde like that is. Oh.

32:30

My. God. That. It's

32:33

just ridiculous. You're. The asshole

32:35

is the top comment. The. Wedding was

32:37

forty five minutes from my house, so my wife and

32:39

I got a hotel room. They caught Opie. You.

32:41

right? So like this was a casual

32:44

relationships. forty five minutes away ain't some

32:46

destination wedding. he how high waisted your

32:48

own money on airbus hotel be that's

32:50

sure to like you're bitching about the

32:52

money. you don't want to waste money.

32:55

New. Could have one decided between you and

32:57

your wife who's gonna be the Dd or

32:59

like. Hey. Mom, you're going a

33:02

baby sit our baby You know? Do you think

33:04

Dad could pick us up like if this was

33:06

me or it will take a forty five minute

33:08

over and said that's probably cheaper than the hotels

33:10

and the uber His. While.

33:14

There we haven't focused. Forty.

33:16

Five minute rubbers? nothing Know I. It's not

33:18

like I haven't done that before. He just

33:21

took to our overs. I actually technically took

33:23

his to to our neighbors said so sensitive.

33:27

subsisted, Still harrys us tears when I live

33:29

in the Us house of Role in a New York

33:31

and when I saw the silly skyline again I was

33:33

like. Oh. My God at me

33:35

Now I will do me now. I was

33:37

looking at my phone because I was trying

33:39

to see if you as beat us there

33:41

while you were in. Silly and I'm like.

33:44

This. Must be wrong. Yeah, and as they normally

33:46

characters curious. Adding Billie five minutes ahead of us

33:48

know, like oh so I thought. adjusted updates and

33:50

then she does. Wait, There's still in

33:52

Philly and I'm like oh so it it

33:54

is up Data is it was so bad

33:57

Thing is on it's working and you're very.

33:59

Nice. Okay, back to this Hop

34:01

on and they also quote Opie Were obe.

34:03

He said I was pumped to do something.

34:06

And. They go so you could have stayed and

34:08

danced and had fun at the reception. You.

34:10

Want to be fucked up all night? Next time.

34:12

Remember to take your edible. Just.

34:16

As the sneak of. Sneak.

34:18

Some stuff in your sleeve gases next coming

34:21

down. They also had cocktails at the hotel

34:23

before taking and over to the wedding. Dude

34:25

is a crybaby for not being able to

34:28

drink for a couple of hours. Yeah, he

34:30

needs to grow the fuck up. truly. truly.

34:32

Also, This is like. If.

34:34

You're that press about not having alcohol for couple hours.

34:37

I would really question your relationship with

34:39

alcohol and maybe this is a time

34:42

where you should consider. Not. Drinking

34:44

for a minute, After

34:46

know like that. Sounds like if you

34:48

need Algol to have a good time

34:50

That's where I start to question. Like.

34:53

A as your relationship with alcohol. Okay,

34:55

right. And if you're that pressed about

34:57

it, take another goddamn over to the

34:59

hotel, rip a couple shots, and go

35:01

back. right? Truly. Yeah,

35:03

and that's why it's like there's no. This

35:06

isn't not equal. The other thing like

35:09

would it have been nice as you

35:11

know they gave a heads up. So.

35:13

That people planned a little bit. You

35:15

know, how have they wanted a plan

35:17

around that sir? But. It. Wasn't

35:19

exactly necessary. You don't need to do that for a

35:21

wedding and like and it. And

35:24

the response to it is just so out

35:26

of control. like and not get over the

35:29

fact that he sent of them or of

35:31

has on their wedding. Nice when they just

35:33

put done so much money to buy all

35:35

of their loved ones to celebrate their love.

35:37

That's what you think you're going to do.

35:39

Oh god I hope this. I hope the

35:42

Opie response is like you either. I'm fucking

35:44

stupid. Please. Tell

35:46

me that Wow, we need

35:48

to come to Jesus Moment

35:50

account has been suspended. I

35:52

don't see any comments from

35:54

O P on the original

35:57

post so I'm gonna go

35:59

with no. I

36:01

know. Someone dies point out

36:03

like scrolling way way down on I have

36:05

taken who bears longer than forty five minutes

36:07

and they definitely cost less than half of

36:09

a hotel room. Yeah so like that would

36:12

have been or to our over from San

36:14

Diego. As

36:16

he can, a lot of long term begin

36:18

of underpins around food. That was because the

36:20

lab dude yeah I'm so you talk about

36:22

yelling and I'm leaving with i learned I

36:25

am on hands. I fully recognize that it

36:27

is okay to be unhinged I someone it

36:29

might goddamn said the nuggets and I see

36:31

no no no no no no it was

36:34

talk about. That's how I haven't for to

36:36

them by this time. Someone.

36:38

Eight My talk about as I was trying to mediate

36:40

a fight to keep other people from leaving and I

36:42

get back up to the air Bnb So many my

36:44

Taco Bell on I said enough of this shit. I.

36:47

Am going homes and I target over back

36:49

to away from San Diego. I was over

36:51

it was over at a seats. I started

36:53

crying because I came home from a really

36:55

tough day of high school. Of

36:59

is this a little bit ago and

37:01

sisters and I came back to the

37:03

shrimp all in the sink and I'm

37:06

like that better not be the shrimp

37:08

for my shrimp pasta sir was she

37:10

picked up the shrimp even. Could

37:13

see that was the one thing I was

37:15

looking forward to. the entire day as at

37:18

least and I get home I'll have my

37:20

left overs asserted crime to classical a baby

37:22

with success in high school you don't get

37:24

to my God to dinner to slake any

37:26

olds. Now that Applebee is half of apps

37:28

that was a rare and was well. Actually,

37:31

it was. It was T G I

37:33

Fridays. Even better. Yeah, really. I'm craving

37:35

chilies now stand. Or.

37:38

Red Robin Danny's.

37:43

One. One. One

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weeks. Heineken

37:50

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Forget. This next son is a

38:57

little goofy. It.

39:00

Is coming from our/a I T

39:02

H titled am the asshole for

39:04

refusing to lend my friend my

39:06

house for her wedding after she

39:08

asked me for a paternity test.

39:11

resulting. In her having to cancel

39:13

the wedding. My. Friend Sandra

39:16

and I have known each other for

39:18

over twenty years. We. Are thirty

39:20

And thirty two. Sandra is getting

39:22

married to undress and I am

39:25

married to in some relevant information.

39:27

On dress and I originally come

39:29

from the same country and even

39:32

the same region. We share many

39:34

characteristics. We. Both have very

39:36

round faces, deep brown eyes, long

39:38

straight black hair, etc. If you

39:40

didn't know better, you might assume

39:42

we are actually siblings. I

39:44

met Andres six years ago and

39:46

introduced him to Sandra. He. Proposed

39:49

to Sandra two years ago.

39:52

I own a beautiful property my home country

39:54

that I was ready to lend to

39:56

Sandra and on dress for their wedding. My.

39:59

property is like a finca and

40:01

has 10 rooms. Usually I

40:03

would rent it out for weddings at

40:05

a somewhat high price, but I was happy

40:07

to give it to them at no cost

40:09

with the condition that they hire their own

40:12

catering and have their guests strip the beds

40:14

when they leave. The

40:16

issue. Three months ago, Sandra

40:19

became more reclusive. She

40:21

wouldn't answer my texts and we didn't meet

40:23

up. Two weeks ago, she

40:25

appeared at my door with Andres. They

40:28

sat us down, my husband

40:30

included, and said that she

40:33

suspected that my daughter is

40:36

actually Andres's biological daughter and

40:39

requested a paternity test for peace

40:41

of mind. I

40:43

was so shocked that I couldn't

40:45

say anything. My husband lost

40:47

his temper and raised his voice,

40:50

telling Sandra that she was absolutely

40:52

stupid. Sandra pointed

40:54

out that my daughter looks like Andres. I

40:57

explained that Andres and I look alike.

41:00

She kept shaking her head, saying my

41:02

daughter would look more like my husband

41:04

and not like my exact copy. The

41:06

evening ended poorly. I agreed to

41:09

the test if they paid for it. The

41:11

results came back last Friday, showing that

41:13

Andres was not the father. We

41:15

also did a test, confirming that my

41:17

husband is the father.

41:19

Sandra cried and cried to hug

41:22

me. I told her I didn't want

41:24

to and that I didn't want to be friends with her

41:26

for the time being. She kept

41:28

saying her worries were justified and made

41:30

a comment about quote, women

41:32

from your country being more likely to

41:34

do that. Oh, God. In that

41:37

moment, I was filled with anger. I told

41:40

her she could forget about using the venue and that

41:42

I didn't want her in my life anymore. She

41:44

started crying, but I made her leave. Her

41:47

mom and she have been texting me, saying

41:49

they can't find a new venue. I

41:52

said no still. 20 minutes

41:54

ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that

41:56

the wedding is off because of me.

41:58

No. Can be you

42:00

have. An. Id asshole should

42:02

I have let her use the

42:04

venue at the usual price or

42:06

was what I did okay? Ah

42:09

sorry she asked I don't know which when

42:12

they answer to on know you not the

42:14

asshole and what you did was okay yeah

42:16

there have there regardless of son this is

42:19

just the. Let's

42:21

just say that Sandra was going through

42:23

such a hard mental time and she

42:25

was just panicking. And for you, Then.

42:28

And. This happen and then she were

42:31

to say like i'm sorry I'm having

42:33

like mental health issues and like thank

42:35

you for give me that peace of

42:37

mind like at that was out of

42:40

hands but as and all it's all

42:42

about then I'm sorry but people from

42:44

your country you what the hell is

42:47

that A it's it's everything or I'd

42:49

say it's so not okay What on

42:51

a called for? What does that even

42:53

mean it Like. Which.

42:56

Concerned women in your

42:58

country are sluts was

43:00

why he. In a league, it's

43:02

simple insane A I just I love

43:04

that that think just goes. your stupid.

43:09

I settle a don't you think

43:11

like for andres. Don't you

43:13

think I'd. And you

43:16

would consider maybe even calling this off on

43:18

the fact that your wife doesn't believe you

43:20

didn't cheat. Or your fiance

43:22

like your fiance is so.

43:25

Adamant they you had an affair

43:27

gray with her best friend that.

43:30

She wanted paternity to raise. You

43:33

have bigger issues as ma'am news and

43:35

be getting married if your so. Like.

43:38

In that mindset that your partner cheated

43:40

on yeah I call it off and

43:42

that on along with you to be

43:44

I and I'm sure he's like be

43:46

of I didn't cheat on you happy

43:48

the is not mine Who's I'm sure

43:50

he's saying that riot like they had

43:52

to have those conversations and she still

43:54

accountability valley Be oblivious. Why are you

43:56

married him? Why are you still together?

44:00

So fuckin. we heard of So

44:02

weird. She is rude though. Like.

44:05

This is so real. Nine God yeah

44:07

I get having a mental health crisis

44:09

were like you could be that paranoid.

44:11

you do start having those delusions but

44:13

then send it on yourself yard and

44:15

that comment take accountability for your own

44:17

you know he asked going on with

44:19

you. don't push on the other people.

44:21

Also, don't be so fucking delusional that

44:23

you're still going to get to use

44:25

this wedding. They are. You need understand

44:28

that even broach the subject is gonna

44:30

have consequences, likely has extremely rude. It's

44:32

is that uncalled for it off and

44:34

says lenses it's and. That nuts and

44:36

there's whoa. Let's say that she did as

44:38

haven't seen that be in right you know

44:40

And then it's like oh, they got I

44:42

did this but it's. Easier. To

44:45

go to those links you have to be

44:47

so certain. Like you have to be late.

44:50

You have to be so certain that you know

44:53

that it's going to end your friendship and

44:55

the like. That's what. That's what you were trying

44:57

to figure, out, right? So it's like what are

44:59

you thinking now that you find out that you're

45:01

blaming everyone? For an issue

45:04

that you are dealing with and you are making

45:06

it's their problem Now you just think everyone's gonna

45:08

be a happy dory like. Did.

45:10

I make sense. I see luggage, A soft answers Hobby

45:13

Dory I like that that word and I know and

45:15

I think up on. Them

45:18

and the last thirty seconds. but

45:20

anyway I were on the same

45:22

page here. This is absolutely ridiculous

45:24

and I it know of course she's

45:26

not gonna let her use the

45:28

that you after this like that

45:30

was so a sense the high

45:32

you followed that up. it's now

45:34

commonsense Top Comment: not the asshole.

45:36

The wedding is off because she

45:38

accused her fiance of infidelity and

45:40

then insulted your and her fiance

45:43

culture My mind that women from

45:45

said culture or slutty or have

45:47

no respect for relationship. Isn't maybe

45:49

she shouldn't be an insecure

45:51

racist? Yeah, a good. Summarize:

45:54

Everything on a single exactly next calm

45:56

down. She basically implied that not only

45:58

O P but andres. Mother sister,

46:00

aunts cousins are also potential slutty home

46:03

wreckers. The man can't run fast enough

46:05

away from this woman. Next.

46:07

Comment: I feel really bad for him out

46:09

of all of this, but at least she

46:11

showed her true colors. Hopefully the relationship is

46:13

off to with how she's act dame. Ah,

46:17

next comment like more not Max

46:19

has come down. Also, she never

46:21

even apologize, she just started crying

46:23

and wanted to have a p

46:25

like you're not a slice and

46:27

my fiance didn't get his leg

46:29

over you. Let's celebrate or something.

46:31

I don't understand why Andress even

46:33

agreed to look for different venue

46:35

instead of dumping Sandra right there.

46:39

Yeah. We.

46:41

Do have an aunt who are

46:43

be god and any sure it's

46:45

Andres. Was not till about this

46:47

she seemed exasperated, he was quite

46:49

upset and basically just agree to

46:51

this so she would drop and

46:53

I didn't include it because it

46:56

a Nazi. The rebel relevance for

46:58

the conflict between me and her

47:00

isn't. Update. They

47:02

are no longer together. Sandra

47:04

just wrote me an email

47:07

apologizing and for some reason

47:09

pay pulled me twenty five.

47:12

Six. Hours. Get confused

47:14

when it's a comma, not A. But.

47:16

I believe it's twenty five point

47:18

six, seven euros. Oh anyways, thank

47:20

you for Wayne and. I.

47:23

Would shoot people her that know

47:25

what she's on the requester an

47:27

accident. Honestly I'm like is that

47:29

the class of a paternity test.

47:33

Denise. A like twenty. Twenty. Grand

47:35

know it's twenty five com us six

47:37

seven Euros I think of they use

47:40

the common set of.so than when he

47:42

five dollars and sixty seven cents. but

47:44

like that Euros. Oh maybe it

47:47

was the cost. Lives has his job. Done.

47:50

In for same. A dozen. I'm

47:52

googling. A paternity test.

47:54

I'm seen as like a hundred and seven

47:56

year us from this website. Com seventy nine

47:58

Euros from this other one. Hopefully live Pay

48:00

pal her that offered amount and don't

48:03

know that is so weird and she's

48:05

like get a coffee on the is

48:07

that is so strange that is allotted

48:09

undies. I had a lot of Dunkin

48:11

donuts and I was in Boston and

48:14

a silly is a love the Donkeys

48:16

yeah I thought you said that the

48:18

bathroom didn't like them with my stomach

48:20

had a bad reaction of the first

48:22

day of blueberry. Cobra isn't so good

48:24

though. it was incredible. After that first

48:27

day though I think I was so

48:29

cleanse it. Could happen anymore than we were

48:31

gonna be that we were got that. Go Love

48:33

that on Jesus. Yeah Oh

48:35

crazy. Not. On. I'm

48:38

scared the last two months now. Say

48:41

every time I laugh I'm like don't

48:43

do it for to hong because all

48:45

of the and he on I love

48:48

Alyssa She seemed like a sweetheart. I

48:50

can listen to this episode she was

48:52

laughing too much. Or.

48:54

Uk and who Hurt you? Are

48:56

going to now the it has no my last even be

48:58

like stop laughing Shut up. To.

49:00

Set up. Just don't say anything,

49:02

just smile and clap. Status

49:05

or might be that monkey symbols. Fuck

49:11

okay moving along to

49:13

this nexen. Who. Did it

49:15

coming from? Am I the asshole? Titled.

49:18

Mit. Asshole for charging my

49:20

roommates a clean air fi to

49:22

make things more fair. Hello

49:26

Reddit! I don't usually use this website for.

49:28

My roommates told me to post on

49:30

here in hopes that some outside perspective

49:32

will help us settle the situation and the

49:34

brand new account. The. Three of

49:36

us live in a three by three and

49:39

split costs equally three ways for the most

49:41

part. I have a slightly bigger bedroom,

49:43

so I pay a bit more than the other

49:45

two roommates in rent. However, at

49:47

the moment I feel like I'm putting

49:49

more work into maintaining the environment that

49:51

we all get to enjoy and that

49:53

I should be compensated fairly for that.

49:56

I have over one hundred different house

49:58

plants throughout the apartment. Including shared

50:00

spaces like the Living Room that

50:03

I have spent hours every week

50:05

and thousands of dollars caring for

50:07

purchase, scene, and maintaining. My.

50:09

Roommates have commented on how pretty some

50:11

of the plants are, so I know

50:13

that they appreciate having them around as

50:15

well. Okay, immediately know I'm sorry. That's

50:19

on you as the Or to

50:21

says in know. Obviously, the presence

50:23

of these plans contributes to the

50:25

cleanliness of the air that we

50:28

breathe in our homes. With so

50:30

many plants in the house or

50:32

home, air quality is obviously superior

50:34

to those without house plants. And.

50:37

With Cove It and other air

50:39

quality considerations, it's basically like having

50:41

an in house Harper air purifier.

50:44

But the plants are natural so they're

50:46

even better. Because. I put

50:49

so much money and so many hours of

50:51

work into these plants. I feel that my

50:53

roommates should contribute to the financial burden by

50:55

pain. What we would call a clean air

50:57

fi. Something reasonable like

50:59

twenty five dollars a month from

51:02

each remitted would really help offset

51:04

the costs of things like fertilizer,

51:06

new parts, soil, etc. And

51:09

the time I put in a taking care of the

51:11

plants. I. Think this is an

51:13

incredibly fair agreements for my roommates as

51:15

they get the benefit of living in

51:17

a house with organically clean air and

51:19

not doing any of the work for

51:22

at. They think I'm

51:24

being unreasonable and selfish. I

51:26

told them that I would be willing

51:28

to compromise and not charge them to

51:31

see if they would hold their breath

51:33

between the front door and go into

51:35

their bedrooms. Stop You are fucking get

51:37

a mere H isn't even far. It's

51:39

not like we live in a huge

51:42

apartments. Are. You? Okay, so

51:44

they aren't breathing the plant air

51:46

that they aren't paying for. Say

51:49

things that stupid but have yet to propose

51:51

another reasonable compromise. Some I go, I think

51:53

it's pretty clear who has been on reasonable

51:56

in this situation. So basically that's where

51:58

we're. I'm the one. who everyone

52:00

gives rent money to, and then I write the check

52:02

to the landlord. So if we don't figure this out

52:04

by the next time rent is due, it's gonna be

52:06

a problem. How can I get

52:09

my roommates to see slash understand my

52:11

side of this? You are

52:13

out of your mind. You

52:16

know what I would say if I was one of these roommates? I

52:18

would say get rid of the plants. Put all the plants in your

52:20

room. I don't need the plants

52:22

here. You want your plants. This is an

52:24

investment for your happiness, mental health, well-being, whatever.

52:27

You take your fucking HEPA filters and you

52:29

put them in your room. Literally. I don't

52:31

need the plants. Literally. I would

52:33

live in the rainforest cafe, bitch. Literally. I

52:36

would say, and that's the

52:38

funny part. That's why this is just this argument is

52:40

so dead because it's like, if they

52:42

were to be like, we don't want the plants, get rid

52:44

of them. They're in our communal space and we don't like

52:47

them here. So get rid of them. Then

52:49

what do you think OP would do?

52:51

OP would freak out because it's OP's passion, okay?

52:53

They're not doing that for them. Exactly.

52:56

This is an OP

52:58

problem. OP chose to

53:00

buy thousands of plants,

53:03

hundreds of plants. Even a

53:05

hundred. Like I only have eight plants in

53:07

my house and my house is small.

53:10

It's 1200 square feet. Like it's a small little

53:12

house, but I have eight plants

53:14

and I'm like running out of room already. Hundreds?

53:17

Yeah. That's your personal hobby.

53:19

That's like if you and I were to

53:21

start sharing a place, like

53:25

if you had an extra bedroom and I'm staying

53:27

with you or something and you started charging me for

53:29

looking at your horse. Petting

53:34

your horse. Yeah, or like an animal. Like

53:37

that's like charging someone because they smile about my puppy

53:39

too. So

53:41

you got to start paying the vet bills because you also pet

53:43

the dog. And I know that's

53:45

a good thing. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to pay for

53:47

it. You also pet the dog.

53:49

And I know the dog brings you joy. So

53:52

you got to contribute. Yeah, that's literally

53:54

what it is. Also $25 a month. Like,

53:58

I'm sorry. That's one bag of fertilizer. They're

54:00

fake, Plants are expensive. Yeah,

54:02

so. You. Can a new

54:04

what you're doing That and if you don't

54:07

want to pay for all those plans anymore

54:09

they are the house Plant market on

54:11

Facebook Marketplace. Maybe I'd start selling on my

54:13

getting. Probably make some money. I just

54:15

can't leave Opie a serious. The roommates are

54:18

probably just like so happy getting the

54:20

response. I mean I'm assuming and hoping all

54:22

of the comments are agreeing with me. Are

54:24

they not? Oh my god are you

54:26

just made a face? Is a snow and

54:28

either the matter know yet? Ah, I

54:30

have a son of the actual I just

54:33

said. Hold your breath City

54:35

says he could see her through. This

54:37

is so insane. the I'm sorry I

54:39

like to be a job that of

54:42

is as I don't think so. No

54:44

something funny of one of our friends

54:46

when she lived with like pastor of

54:48

a it's apparently the roommate would never

54:50

sleep the floors and as so she

54:53

was like. Can. You

54:55

please, the school and the room

54:57

he said. I. Hardly. I'm

55:00

here so no and she said well

55:02

unless you who levitate from the front

55:04

door to your bedroom then you use

55:07

these lords of you can sleep them

55:09

once in awhile. Zeal and as as

55:11

other were so bad. As a society

55:13

that's so good yeah no one can

55:16

fucking fly than Harry Potter just as

55:18

I But she has said that though

55:20

I was like that is. That's

55:23

a bold and love that unless the

55:26

Levitate. And. You can, you

55:28

can contribute to. Okay, So

55:30

the original post the top

55:32

comment: you're the asshole. Your

55:35

roommates have no obligation to

55:37

subsidize your hobby. And

55:39

the next coming down. houseplants have

55:42

been proven to not even clean

55:44

your air. And they linked a

55:46

study from Harvard and someone goes.

55:48

But what about increased oxygen in

55:50

the home. They. Are

55:52

also reply they don't really increase oxygen in

55:54

the home to any sort of benefit. They

55:56

technically do release oxygen but at such low

55:59

levels to be. Basically negligible, a plant

56:01

would have to add eight point two

56:03

five pounds a day to keep up

56:05

with one percent oxygen intake. Not taken

56:07

into fact that the also really C

56:10

O Two. Yeah,

56:13

I think snake flannel. I have a

56:15

severe. Snake Lancer via their good

56:17

yeah other this person has like a hundred

56:19

plants which is like. That's not

56:21

normal I would say so I'm sure

56:23

like they are contributing in some way

56:25

given the number of them Re I'd

56:28

be curious to know how many plants

56:30

were utilized in this study from Harvard.

56:32

I'm gonna look just because I'm curious. and I love. Or

56:35

can studies. I. Really wanna know

56:37

Opiates responses to people telling. Them

56:40

that they're not correct. Ah,

56:43

I'm account has been suspend

56:45

our him and. He

56:48

to I don't see. Any

56:51

comments from Opie though? So honestly

56:53

they probably they probably ran inside

56:56

after. After. Getting the things

56:58

I love, other roommates like I know I

57:00

know right as as they nail Scopolamine run

57:02

it. But. Rather take care of it,

57:04

maybe some of them outside would provide some

57:06

clarity and tell you that your and since

57:08

I'm. Raising

57:11

Us Move An hour

57:13

long? Swear. Oh well.

57:20

He did it better and his brothers. Another.

57:23

One of us weeks partners is Lou

57:25

Me for picture This I'm working on

57:28

produced in a podcast for a bigger

57:30

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57:32

to put on the around. I stunk

57:34

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57:37

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57:39

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l-u-m-e-d-e-o-d-o-r-a-n-t.com. This

58:49

next one, I haven't read

58:51

the title alone. I'm kind of

58:54

like, I don't know. So

58:56

we'll see. It is coming

58:58

from A-I-T-A-H titled, am I the

59:01

asshole for telling my mother-in-law that

59:03

I don't want her here because

59:05

my baby hates her? I don't

59:07

know what we're getting into, guys. A

59:11

baby hating someone is such a funny

59:14

concept. Yeah. 26 female. I've been with

59:16

my husband since we were 14 and

59:18

we just had a baby 10 months

59:20

ago. I have always gotten along with

59:22

my mother-in-law. She's a very sweet woman

59:25

who would literally take the shirt off

59:27

her back to make sure I am

59:29

okay. I love this woman tremendously, but

59:32

for whatever reason, every single

59:34

time she has come over to see the baby,

59:36

my daughter screams bloody murder

59:38

the entire time she's here.

59:41

She doesn't do this with anyone else.

59:45

But literally the second my

59:47

mother-in-law walks to the door

59:49

and my daughter sees her.

59:51

She is in my ear

59:53

screaming, hyperventilating, and inconsolable. It's

59:55

literally been like this since she was born. My

59:58

mother-in-law first visited when she was

1:00:00

four days old and it was the

1:00:02

same thing. What?

1:00:06

We have never been super cautious about having

1:00:08

people over to see our daughter, but like

1:00:11

I said, she's not like that with anyone

1:00:13

else. Like some people, she doesn't

1:00:15

want touching her, but she never cries. My

1:00:18

mother-in-law is just the polar opposite. She

1:00:20

has been able to successfully hold her

1:00:22

once without her screaming, but it was

1:00:25

when she was holding her face away

1:00:27

from her and my husband was entertaining

1:00:29

her to keep her distracted. My mother-in-law

1:00:32

comes over once a week and honestly,

1:00:34

I've just started completely dreading her coming

1:00:36

here at all because I'm not kidding.

1:00:38

My daughter screams the entire time and

1:00:41

sometimes my mother-in-law doesn't leave for a

1:00:43

couple of hours. It

1:00:45

is not fun for anyone involved.

1:00:48

While she came here yesterday and my husband

1:00:50

is starting to get irritated by the fact

1:00:52

that our daughter refuses to warm up to

1:00:54

his mother because she's been a huge part

1:00:56

of our lives. So he suggested

1:00:59

that she start coming here more often

1:01:01

than she already does now to basically

1:01:03

attempt to force the bond. I

1:01:06

personally know it doesn't work like that. I

1:01:08

mean, if the bond was going to happen right now,

1:01:10

it would have already. She simply does

1:01:12

not like my mother-in-law. I thought

1:01:14

maybe it was the perfume my mother-in-law wore,

1:01:16

so she stopped wearing perfume, but that did

1:01:18

nothing. I told her not to

1:01:21

wear her jewelry to see if that helped,

1:01:23

but again, that did nothing. I've

1:01:25

even had her put her hair up, thinking maybe

1:01:27

my daughter was getting overwhelmed by not being able

1:01:29

to see her face completely, and that

1:01:31

actually made it worse. I've

1:01:34

told her to stop baby-talking to her because

1:01:36

she has a very high-pitched baby-talk voice, but

1:01:38

her normal voice didn't calm the baby

1:01:40

down either. And honestly,

1:01:42

I'm exhausted and fed up with

1:01:44

trying. I don't think we

1:01:47

should try. I think we need

1:01:49

to let it go and let it form naturally. She

1:01:52

will warm up to her eventually in her own

1:01:54

time, but my husband is basically just

1:01:56

not okay with it, all because my

1:01:58

mom came here to see us for the first time

1:02:00

last month. She lives in the UK

1:02:02

and traveling is hard to get to the US

1:02:04

for her. And our daughter

1:02:06

immediately loved her and didn't want her

1:02:09

to set her down. So

1:02:11

my husband felt slighted about it. And as

1:02:13

said, he wants his mom to come over

1:02:15

now more. Well, I usually

1:02:17

don't mind when my mother-in-law stops by, but

1:02:20

she came by unannounced this morning at 8.30 AM.

1:02:23

And I mean, I had just woken up

1:02:25

with a baby. She had a long night

1:02:27

teething. So I'm talking like three hours of

1:02:29

sleep. She comes in and says

1:02:32

that my husband told her to come over and

1:02:34

hang out for the day. She

1:02:36

said she cleared her entire schedule to be here. I

1:02:39

just kind of shook my head and said, I

1:02:41

don't really want to deal with the baby screaming all day long.

1:02:43

I wish you guys had run this by me. You

1:02:46

know I love having you here, but this

1:02:48

whole let's force a bond bullshit

1:02:50

is dragging me mentally. You

1:02:52

guys should have asked me. She

1:02:55

looked hurt and said, quote, it's

1:02:57

okay, sweetie. I can go. And

1:02:59

she laughed a few minutes later. But

1:03:01

now my husband is mad at me insisting

1:03:04

that this quote would

1:03:07

have worked. So am

1:03:09

I the asshole? No,

1:03:11

you can't not run that by

1:03:13

your partner. That's

1:03:16

just, but at the

1:03:18

same time too, if I was the husband,

1:03:20

I would totally want to force the bond.

1:03:22

Like that would be- That's why you're trying.

1:03:25

Yeah, it would be so frustrating to me. Like

1:03:27

if my baby didn't like my mom, that would

1:03:30

be so painful for me, honestly. So I

1:03:33

would want to do whatever I could

1:03:35

to make that happen. But

1:03:37

I think no matter what, you

1:03:39

can't just have people come by your house unannounced.

1:03:42

Like that's just, you have to run that by

1:03:44

your partner. That's just immediately like, that's where he

1:03:46

went wrong. Yeah, well, especially cause it sounds like

1:03:48

OP is the one staying up with the baby

1:03:51

while, you know, it's going through this whole teething

1:03:53

process, which, oh, nightmare. I can't just

1:03:55

those little teeth popping through and how much they

1:03:57

cry and how much pain they're in. It's just-

1:04:01

And so it's like if he's not the one

1:04:03

getting up and she is and it's like Doubly

1:04:05

like you need to communicate for sure. Also. I'm

1:04:07

so confused by the title now because that's why

1:04:09

it's in this theme like I In

1:04:14

whatever she mentioned nowhere did she tell the

1:04:16

mother-in-law I don't want you here because my

1:04:18

baby hates you Yeah, so I'm

1:04:20

like ma'am. No the way you said it

1:04:22

was not rude Yeah, you would have said

1:04:24

it how the title stated right then it

1:04:26

would have been like I get your sentiments

1:04:28

You're justified in them, but like hey

1:04:31

little rude and how you said it. That's not

1:04:34

the case here I wonder if she just wanted

1:04:36

it to get noticed so people

1:04:38

would actually give her advice because that title

1:04:40

is like a Little rage baby.

1:04:42

Yeah. Yeah Interesting,

1:04:45

but then again, it's also you know,

1:04:47

I told I told

1:04:49

her to leave and Then maybe

1:04:51

talking to us because my baby hates her or maybe

1:04:53

the husband is going back to her being like you

1:04:56

basically told my mom The baby hates her Like

1:04:59

you you were mean to my mom like maybe

1:05:01

there's some wires getting crossed somewhere else here where

1:05:03

people are inferring that I feel So bad

1:05:05

for the mom like I feel bad for everyone in

1:05:07

this. Yeah, I know But she just says it's okay,

1:05:10

sweetie. I'll leave like oh And

1:05:12

it sounds like she has an amazing Loving

1:05:15

mother-in-law with a great relationship. I

1:05:17

mean saying here Does

1:05:20

this happen by the way? Like yeah again I

1:05:23

feel like this can happen all the time babies

1:05:25

go through like phases two of like I Think

1:05:28

it's around ten months where like stranger danger

1:05:30

is a big thing They said at four

1:05:32

days old and I think

1:05:34

it's just there's something about the mother-in-law But

1:05:37

like why is she okay with everyone else? I

1:05:39

don't know maybe maybe mother-in-law came into the room

1:05:41

and scared her and then it's just like subconscious

1:05:43

in the little baby's brain like I Don't

1:05:46

even begin to understand like babies

1:05:48

and baby brain like did

1:05:50

you stop one video of the baby on tick-tock? Where

1:05:52

the mom was like who wants to go

1:05:55

to the Four Seasons Orlando and

1:05:57

this little baby who looks like eight

1:06:00

The little baby goes, I

1:06:02

do. And everyone

1:06:04

started this whole conversation now

1:06:06

about conscious babies. That

1:06:09

shit's fucking crazy too. Do you see the baby that

1:06:11

was stuck? It was like a baby.

1:06:13

It looked like a little

1:06:16

tiny baby. And she goes, are you stuck?

1:06:18

Yes. In between the couch. Sorry.

1:06:21

It wasn't bad. And then the mom goes,

1:06:23

are you stuck? And she goes, I stuck.

1:06:26

And I'm like, how are you speaking right

1:06:28

now? You look like you're

1:06:30

five days old. A potato. Yeah.

1:06:33

It's crazy. So I'm like, maybe that little

1:06:35

baby's a conscious baby. And like, just, I

1:06:37

don't know. But I

1:06:40

mean, there's no way as the

1:06:42

kid grows, they're gonna hate the

1:06:44

mother-in-law forever. Like give her time. When

1:06:46

she's a toddler and is more conscious.

1:06:49

Yeah. But it's sad

1:06:51

though, because I think that for the

1:06:54

husband and then the grandma, it's

1:06:56

like, those are special moments

1:06:58

that they want to have. And you

1:07:00

never know. I don't know how old

1:07:02

his mom is, but you never know how much

1:07:04

time you get with anybody. And so it's like,

1:07:06

you want to be able to have them know

1:07:09

your baby. You know, it's just, I feel

1:07:11

like the way they're going about it though,

1:07:13

like isn't going to

1:07:15

lead to a good bond. It

1:07:18

feels like by forcing it in the way

1:07:20

they're trying to, like you could also be

1:07:22

traumatizing this kid more. So wild. Like,

1:07:24

you just don't know what impressions, certain

1:07:27

behaviors and like, everything

1:07:29

is going to make on your kid. Like they're

1:07:31

just, they're little brains are just forming.

1:07:34

Like there's pruning. There's just

1:07:36

so much going on up there. What did

1:07:38

you say? There's pruning. Okay. What's

1:07:40

that mean? So when you are little and you're

1:07:42

forming neural connections, what happens is like another thing

1:07:44

called pruning. So if you don't use it, you

1:07:46

lose it. Like the brain will like cut

1:07:48

away those neural snaps or like, they just, they

1:07:50

go away. Whoa. You want to

1:07:53

expose your baby to as much as you

1:07:55

can in those early formative stages. Yeah.

1:07:58

Like take them to the park, take them

1:08:00

to the zoo, like take them every. Show

1:08:02

them everything, do everything because there's such rapid

1:08:04

brain development. It's crazy. But

1:08:07

someone's going to be in the comments being like, that's not how

1:08:09

it happens Morgan. But okay, just put it in the comments and

1:08:11

let me know. Nicely.

1:08:16

But yeah, it's

1:08:19

frustrating. I do get it, but not the asshole. I

1:08:21

don't even think you were rude about it. You're dealing

1:08:24

with a lot. You're at your wit then. And you

1:08:26

guys should have had a group text like, hey, can

1:08:28

I come over? Like

1:08:30

just let her get a goddamn nap in for top

1:08:34

comment. Have your husband take

1:08:36

baby to mother-in-law, change the scenery and

1:08:38

remove yourself as the baby is likely

1:08:41

reacting to your stress at this point.

1:08:44

Your baby can sense you better

1:08:46

than anyone. Whoa. That's so

1:08:48

crazy to think about. I didn't think about that. But

1:08:50

yeah, if the very first

1:08:53

time that the grandma met the baby,

1:08:56

the baby started screaming just because and now

1:08:58

the mom is really stressed out, I could

1:09:01

totally see that. Then she's on edge

1:09:03

every single time that she comes there. Every time.

1:09:05

Wow. Did they just solve it? I

1:09:08

don't know. I need updates. I know. We're

1:09:11

going to see if there's an update from OP, but that would make total

1:09:13

sense too also because like if

1:09:16

the mom is getting stressed, like one, the baby can

1:09:18

sense it. Like it's like no different than a dog.

1:09:20

It's like you're nervous that your dog's going to attack.

1:09:22

Like you're stressed and making the dog more anxious. Babies

1:09:25

are so in tune with mom. Especially if

1:09:27

the mom is breastfeeding because you, if you're

1:09:29

stressed, you produce cortisol that's in

1:09:32

the breast milk. Whoa. Yeah.

1:09:34

That's what's so crazy too. I learned about breast milk. It's

1:09:37

like if you're like pumping

1:09:39

in the morning and feeding your

1:09:41

baby the morning's breast milk, it

1:09:44

has like wake up chemicals versus

1:09:46

like you should, if you're going to pump

1:09:48

and bottle feed and do that, you should

1:09:51

use morning milk in the morning and then

1:09:53

night milk for night because there's like melatonin

1:09:55

and like just natural like that is so

1:09:57

interesting and fascinating. Breast milk is crazy. baby's

1:10:00

sick, your boob nose, and you produce

1:10:02

like excess antibodies and like, oh my

1:10:04

god, so you just share a brain

1:10:06

with your baby while you're breastfeeding. Literally.

1:10:11

Yeah, literally. It's crazy.

1:10:13

It's such a crazy little

1:10:15

connection. I just like, that

1:10:17

is fascinating. Wow. Now I'm like,

1:10:21

I mean, my parents were three when I got,

1:10:23

when they got divorced, like things are on the

1:10:25

rocks when I was born. Yeah.

1:10:27

So I'm like, I,

1:10:30

maybe this makes sense why I'm such a

1:10:32

ball of stress. Honestly, there's like

1:10:34

so many factors that I can encourage like

1:10:36

our behaviors and like, who knows what this

1:10:38

forcing the bond could do for the baby.

1:10:41

Then the top comment on this one was

1:10:43

have your husband take baby to mother-in-law. The

1:10:45

next one down, dad absolutely

1:10:47

needs to be a part of the

1:10:49

solution. Instead of volunteering his tired, stressed

1:10:51

out wife for more hours of sound

1:10:53

torture. Sorry, OP, but that was

1:10:55

really an asshole move on his part. He takes the

1:10:58

baby to mother-in-law and OP stays home and has some

1:11:00

time to herself. I am

1:11:02

such a noise person. Like the door to the

1:11:05

studio was like rattling today. I

1:11:07

was going crazy. So like I get

1:11:09

carrying a baby cry nonstop

1:11:12

for hours on end. Nuts.

1:11:15

Oh yeah, for sure. It would drive me

1:11:17

nuts. I have a, yeah, I like recently

1:11:19

developed a noise with a,

1:11:22

with dogs. I used

1:11:24

to not bother me, but now I'm like,

1:11:26

if there's a dog that's just consistently barking,

1:11:28

like I just can feel my stress levels.

1:11:30

I'm just on edge. Same.

1:11:33

It's really, yeah, it's wild. Let's see

1:11:36

if there's any comments from OP on

1:11:38

this one. The post is still up.

1:11:40

So account is still up.

1:11:43

There's only one comment from OP.

1:11:46

Really interesting. So someone goes, not

1:11:48

the asshole. In fact, give your husband a chance

1:11:50

to prove his theory. You step out for a

1:11:52

few hours and let him have fun with a

1:11:55

screaming baby. Next comment down.

1:11:57

This could work as a mother of three

1:11:59

kids. Sometimes you need to step away

1:12:01

and let dad handle things. She needs to

1:12:03

get used to having more than just you

1:12:05

to comfort her and be her safe space.

1:12:07

She is also feeding off of your energy

1:12:09

and feels your anxiety. Try

1:12:12

leaving before your mother-in-law gets there and letting your husband

1:12:14

take care of it. You get some needed me time.

1:12:18

Also, your mother-in-law could come over more often

1:12:20

and just try being there without interacting with

1:12:22

the baby. She will eventually get curious of

1:12:24

why grandma isn't trying to talk to her.

1:12:26

Babies are so hard. Just keep doing your

1:12:28

best, not the asshole, by the way. Babies

1:12:31

are, they seem very difficult. Freak

1:12:35

me the fuck out. OP

1:12:38

responds, I can't even do that.

1:12:40

Well, technically I could, but I'm the only

1:12:42

one who can calm her down when she's like

1:12:45

that and she is a breath holder. If

1:12:47

I walk away, she more than likely would

1:12:49

hold her breath until she passed out. And

1:12:51

the idea of that literally terrifies me. I

1:12:56

don't know, babies could do that. What

1:13:00

is up with this baby? Next

1:13:06

comment down goes, blow in

1:13:08

the baby's face when she does that. It will make

1:13:11

her take a breath. It's

1:13:14

like a dog. I actually, now that I think about it, I

1:13:16

do remember my niece, like

1:13:18

sometimes she would cry when she was little

1:13:21

and she wouldn't breathe. You could see her

1:13:23

just like she was silently crying. To

1:13:28

me sometimes when I have a panic attack, just

1:13:31

relatable. Yesterday.

1:13:38

Yeah, that's really interesting. I do think like hearing

1:13:40

this too, where it's like, I'm the only one

1:13:42

that can calm her down, take

1:13:45

it with a grain of salt, don't have kids, don't have

1:13:48

a baby, haven't been pregnant, don't breastfeed, whatever. I don't know

1:13:50

how any of this fucking works. It

1:13:53

does seem like there

1:13:55

could be kind of an issue

1:13:57

with that. Like if you're the only one that gets

1:13:59

it. the baby to calm down. She

1:14:02

should be able to have a bond with her

1:14:04

dad and that could be something where you might

1:14:06

want to address to increase a

1:14:08

secure attachment to both parents. I

1:14:11

don't know. I'm not a child psychologist. Neither

1:14:14

am I. Moving along. Moving along. Yeah,

1:14:17

there's no other comments from OP, no updates.

1:14:19

But I would love an update on this

1:14:21

one. Like, hey, we took advice and here's

1:14:23

what happened with our baby and now we're

1:14:26

like, it's everything's great.

1:14:29

Love it. I know. Because

1:14:32

you do want happy ending on this one. Me too. You

1:14:34

do. Um, I did take a child

1:14:37

psychology class when I was in high school and it was one

1:14:39

of my favorite classes. So crazy. And honestly,

1:14:41

I really would love to take high school

1:14:43

classes again, not college because I don't really

1:14:45

want to, I don't want to go there.

1:14:48

But it's more fun when it's like stuff

1:14:50

you're seeking out on your own to learn

1:14:52

about. Yeah. Because being forced, like even

1:14:54

if it was a college class, because you can audit college classes for free.

1:14:57

Really? Yeah. How? You

1:14:59

just sign up as an auditor. You

1:15:02

don't get credits. You don't like earn towards

1:15:04

a degree, but it's free. They offer it

1:15:06

for seniors and a lot of places to keep

1:15:08

like seniors engaged in the community and learning.

1:15:11

I love that. I know. So you can audit for

1:15:14

free at a lot of places. I honestly want to

1:15:16

because I just need to sharpen a few skills

1:15:18

of mine. I'm down. I'm down. I'll join with you.

1:15:21

As long as it's not a dinosaur class, because that

1:15:23

sounded way too hard. It was hard. It sounded way

1:15:25

too hard. Okay. Moving on. Some

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This one is titled, Am

1:16:32

I the Asshole for Not Speaking Japanese After Living Here

1:16:34

for 6 Years? I,

1:16:36

34 female, met my 33 male

1:16:39

husband online and we got married 6 years

1:16:41

ago. I moved from

1:16:43

my home country to live with him in Japan since

1:16:45

then. He is Japanese and

1:16:47

has a stable job here. On

1:16:50

the other hand, I am a freelance illustrator so I

1:16:52

was okay moving. Every day I use

1:16:54

English with him. Maybe

1:16:56

you notice already, but English is not my first

1:16:58

language. It is not perfect,

1:17:01

but neither is my husband's English, but at least

1:17:03

we can communicate. I

1:17:05

tried my best to learn Japanese to be able to

1:17:07

communicate with his friends and family, but

1:17:10

Japanese is not an easy language. I

1:17:13

have to learn how to read

1:17:15

kanji, hiragana, and katakana from zero

1:17:17

all by myself. During

1:17:20

COVID 2020, we got money from the government

1:17:22

and he bought me some books and dictionaries,

1:17:26

telling me to learn the language more intensively

1:17:28

during the lockdown. He

1:17:30

said that I could speak 4 languages, adding one more language

1:17:32

should be easy for me. I

1:17:37

tried, but it is never good enough for him. He

1:17:40

always said my grammar sucks, but I do always have

1:17:42

problems with grammar. As you can

1:17:44

see, my English grammar sucks too. He

1:17:47

said I should be able to speak like a native at this point. So

1:17:51

last year, summer 2022, I decided that I would get a

1:17:53

part-time job at a restaurant, so

1:17:55

that I can practice more of my Japanese. To my

1:17:57

surprise, the staff that I have provided you

1:17:59

with, like me and they

1:18:01

can understand my Japanese. I also

1:18:04

now could read and write several congies.

1:18:06

I could write my own

1:18:08

address with congies and read menus. Last

1:18:11

week we had a family dinner with his family.

1:18:13

During the dinner I made some grammar mistake

1:18:16

which was not actually quite bad because everybody

1:18:18

still understood what I was trying to say.

1:18:21

But my husband says in front of my

1:18:23

family quote I

1:18:25

was stupid for not understanding the correct

1:18:27

grammar. It makes me

1:18:29

upset because he said it in front of everyone. So

1:18:31

I said in English quote your English

1:18:34

is not better than me and you can't

1:18:36

speak my language why do you call me

1:18:38

stupid? He was so

1:18:40

pissed off and won't talk to me since then.

1:18:42

Am I the asshole?

1:18:44

No, he is. How

1:18:46

rude. So rude. Did you call her out like

1:18:49

that during dinner? He also

1:18:51

just sounds like one of those

1:18:53

controlling husbands where you

1:18:55

know we know somebody who literally like

1:18:58

was married to somebody who would freak out on

1:19:01

them if they didn't go to the gym. Like

1:19:03

would if they were out of town they

1:19:06

would like watch like their their

1:19:08

dot what do you call it they're find

1:19:10

my friends and make sure that they went

1:19:12

to the gym. What the fuck? That's what

1:19:14

this gives like I know this isn't as

1:19:16

intense as that but that's what that feels

1:19:18

like it just feels like unnecessarily. That's really

1:19:20

unhealthy. Mean. Yeah that's really

1:19:22

really unhealthy. Oh

1:19:25

I don't like it and it's like I

1:19:28

like OP's comment where it's like I speak

1:19:30

four languages your English isn't

1:19:32

better than mine and you're calling me

1:19:34

stupid. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like he

1:19:36

knows Japanese and English. She

1:19:38

now knows Japanese, English

1:19:41

and two other languages. Yeah. And he

1:19:43

hasn't made an effort to learn her

1:19:45

native tongue. Yeah. Where's the, do you

1:19:48

not see the hypocrisy the double standard there? Wild.

1:19:51

How rude. Embarrassed. In front of

1:19:53

like all of his family. To

1:19:55

call someone stupid for knowing

1:19:57

four different languages is just out of control.

1:20:02

absurd. Top comment,

1:20:04

not the asshole. Your husband is

1:20:06

an asshole though for sure. Even

1:20:09

if you understand multiple languages, doesn't mean learning

1:20:12

another is any easier. He definitely

1:20:14

should have helped you too. I think

1:20:16

what hindered you overall is not practicing. From

1:20:18

the sound of it, once you got that

1:20:20

part time job and was forced to speak

1:20:23

more, then your Japanese improved. So honestly, he

1:20:25

should have spoken more Japanese at home. Also

1:20:28

curious if he's making any effort to speak

1:20:30

your native tongue. OP

1:20:33

responds, he said he doesn't need to

1:20:35

learn my native language because we don't live there. My

1:20:39

parents don't speak English and Japanese. So I

1:20:41

beg him to at least try to communicate

1:20:43

with my family. But he said his brain

1:20:46

has no capacity for that. What

1:20:51

a stupid asshole, literally. I'm not

1:20:55

learning your language because we don't live there. What if

1:20:57

we visit my family? Do you

1:20:59

not want to communicate? He

1:21:01

is so selfish, so

1:21:04

self centered. The world revolves around

1:21:06

him, his family. OP has

1:21:09

made so many sacrifices. And that's crazy

1:21:11

to me that they don't practice Japanese

1:21:13

at home when it's his native tongue

1:21:15

and he could help. Yeah. Hey babe,

1:21:17

let's cook dinner tonight and only speak

1:21:19

Japanese. We'll prepare the meal. Like that's

1:21:23

the best way to fucking learn. Yeah. I

1:21:26

feel like that's normal for couples to do

1:21:28

that. Why do you think

1:21:30

that he is behaving this way? What do

1:21:33

you think is going on in his head? I feel

1:21:35

like he thinks he's better than OP. I feel

1:21:37

like he's really arrogant. I don't

1:21:39

know if it's like a control.

1:21:43

It feels controlling as well. Do

1:21:45

you think maybe he feels not

1:21:48

intimidated but threatened by the fact that she knows more

1:21:50

languages. So he's trying to make her feel dumb about

1:21:52

it. Probably. Probably. I think a

1:21:55

lot of times people get threatened over the silliest

1:21:57

things and it comes out in weird ways. And

1:22:00

I could see him being threatened. I think when

1:22:02

speaking about heterosexual relationships,

1:22:07

I think a lot of times guys are more

1:22:09

threatened by successful women or women that are more

1:22:12

intelligent than them or whatever. There

1:22:14

is a study that says the more intelligent

1:22:16

a woman gets, the harder it is for

1:22:18

her to find a partner. Me and Alejandra

1:22:20

were talking about that. Because we're

1:22:22

so smart. It's literally a thing.

1:22:25

But now we were talking about that. There's studies

1:22:28

with money too. Money is a big issue. Big

1:22:30

issue. So I could see that being

1:22:33

a thing. We do have an edit

1:22:35

from OP. He is not a bad

1:22:37

guy. I love him so much. He

1:22:40

is just very outspoken. If

1:22:42

he dislikes something, he would say it right

1:22:44

away. He never comments about

1:22:46

my body or looks, but he is very

1:22:48

sensitive about my skills. He often

1:22:51

criticized my art style and other skills.

1:22:54

He said, I'm lazy. There is no excuse not

1:22:56

to master the language since I'm living here for

1:22:58

almost six years now. Maybe this

1:23:00

is me trying to defend myself. But last year

1:23:03

I got my N3 slash

1:23:05

JLPT, Japan Language

1:23:07

Proficiency Test Level 3 Certification.

1:23:12

He said it must be out of luck because

1:23:15

my Japanese is very rough. And

1:23:17

he said I should have gotten the Level 1 already because

1:23:19

I have been here for so long. Pull

1:23:22

the plug. He's kind of a gaslighting her. Yeah, pull the plug.

1:23:24

He doesn't sound like he's your guy. He's

1:23:27

like really gaslighting. There is someone that will

1:23:29

treat you much better. We

1:23:31

have an update on this one. What's the update? So

1:23:34

we got divorced. Oh,

1:23:37

she listened to me. I'm just kidding.

1:23:39

Pull the plug. That

1:23:41

was quick. I think about it.

1:23:43

Well, when was this original post? No,

1:23:46

I was making a joke because I told her to

1:23:48

pull the plug and then it just happened like that.

1:23:51

So the original post was seven months ago. This

1:23:53

update is coming from a month ago. Ooh. I

1:23:56

think about it more and more and I feel like

1:23:58

this six years has been health. Me, I'm tired

1:24:00

of trying to find any reason to think

1:24:03

he is good for me. I found a

1:24:05

full time job in Japan where the company

1:24:07

and started working there from last January. Everybody

1:24:10

in my new company said I speak

1:24:12

Japanese very well and so far I'm

1:24:14

doing great. A. Rented my own apartment

1:24:16

and I'm surviving by my own. Just

1:24:18

signed in Tokyo. I'll. Be At Max

1:24:21

has been saying that I would never

1:24:23

be able to survive in Japan without

1:24:25

him have a crush on another guy,

1:24:27

but I am taking it slowly. Thank.

1:24:29

You all for your comments To me. I

1:24:31

am so glad I posted here on what

1:24:33

are some we want to cry, beautiful Power

1:24:36

rather than the community coming together to like

1:24:38

and that at it on the original post

1:24:40

she went from like defending him to now

1:24:42

don't Like know I I see like I

1:24:44

didn't deserve that. I'm yeah, I'm done. I'm

1:24:46

sick of defending him as what she said,

1:24:48

it was awesome. I'm tired of trying to

1:24:51

find a reason that he's good for me.

1:24:53

You. Know that.

1:24:55

There. Is another at it on

1:24:58

this post. I only

1:25:00

use Japanese in the company I work for

1:25:02

now and earn almost the same amount with

1:25:04

my ex husband despite just working here for

1:25:06

four months. My. Crush now speaks

1:25:08

only Japanese and we communicate just fine.

1:25:10

I am confident now another long at

1:25:12

it because I am surprised that I

1:25:15

got so many responses. Thank. You

1:25:17

so much with support. Just to clarify, of course

1:25:19

the reason of my divorce is not only

1:25:21

because of the language thing. I. Kept

1:25:23

saying my ex was a good person and I

1:25:25

still think that he is a good person but

1:25:27

he is not treating me right right? There was

1:25:29

a lot of things he had done the meets

1:25:31

the had harmed me physically and mentally. Oh. Wow.

1:25:35

Me: I'm. So. Happy or

1:25:37

out he had. Before. his with

1:25:39

him as also do in modeling for side jobs

1:25:41

it took good care of myself but after i

1:25:43

married him he said oh my looks don't matter

1:25:45

and he disliked me dressing up or putting on

1:25:48

makeup the up because he thought a married woman

1:25:50

should not attract other men yup that's i'd told

1:25:52

you see i was on to it was a

1:25:54

controlling thing i knew it i did what he

1:25:56

wanted and i kept telling myself others man loves

1:25:58

me the way i'm them how I look. But

1:26:01

then I found out he was following sexy girls on

1:26:03

Instagram and Twitter. Oh my God. He never chatted them.

1:26:05

So I let it slide, but I kept thinking about

1:26:07

it, especially since he never said

1:26:10

anything positive about my looks. Basically,

1:26:12

he never said anything positive about my effort,

1:26:14

except for my cooking. Oh my God. I

1:26:16

started to feel unconfident. I got

1:26:18

depressed and had to take antidepressants. Then I

1:26:20

gained 20 kilograms in six years. He was

1:26:24

doing that on purpose. Yeah. Keep you under

1:26:26

his thumb. Exactly. To make you think you

1:26:28

couldn't leave. You're not good enough for anyone

1:26:30

else. You're lucky to have him. He wanted

1:26:32

you to feel small so that

1:26:34

he could feel bigger. Now,

1:26:36

after we got divorced, I don't have to take

1:26:39

my antidepressants anymore. I already lost

1:26:41

15 kilograms. I started to talk to some

1:26:43

guys until I met my crush right now.

1:26:45

Oh, I'm surprised because

1:26:47

my crush now always said that I look

1:26:49

good and nice. He noticed when I changed

1:26:51

my hairstyle or nails as I smell nice

1:26:53

and compliment me when I do good things

1:26:55

at work. Oh, and that's what you deserve.

1:26:58

Why am I going to cry? The other

1:27:00

people also said that I look super good

1:27:02

now and I look so much happier. I

1:27:05

love this transformation. I want

1:27:08

to show you my pictures so you can see the

1:27:10

difference between when I was single and married and became

1:27:12

single again, but I know there's a

1:27:14

chance some of you might recognize me and then

1:27:16

would recognize who is my ex-husband and it would

1:27:18

cause problems for him. Anyways,

1:27:20

how I learned Japanese is by listening

1:27:23

to some songs, movies and other people.

1:27:25

And when I can't understand some words or phrases,

1:27:27

I would find it in a dictionary based on how

1:27:29

I hear it. I guess a

1:27:31

lot of people were asking how OP was learning

1:27:34

the language. Yeah, that's irrelevant. She's got it down

1:27:36

now. It's all good. I

1:27:38

would be curious how the husband took the news

1:27:40

that she was getting divorced from him. Probably

1:27:42

not well. Yeah. Once again, thank

1:27:44

you for the support. Please wish me luck for

1:27:46

my career and my life ahead. I also

1:27:49

wish the best for all of you. May you

1:27:51

have learned something from my experience and may

1:27:53

be useful for you, or at least it

1:27:55

could give you good feelings when you read

1:27:57

this update. Yeah. Cheers. I did. I

1:28:00

love that. I do too. I absolutely

1:28:03

love that for OP. Wow.

1:28:08

You know what? This is kind of

1:28:10

a random thought, but I always

1:28:13

think about this now because when

1:28:15

I was in Argentina, this guy

1:28:18

that we were all friends with was saying how much

1:28:20

funnier he is in Spanish. So

1:28:22

he's like, oh, it's annoying because I'm so much

1:28:24

funnier in Spanish, you guys will never know because

1:28:26

you don't speak Spanish. And

1:28:29

now I always think about that. I'm like, wow,

1:28:31

it is kind of crazy because I'm not fluent

1:28:33

in another language. So I don't know what that

1:28:35

would be like to be fluent in multiple languages,

1:28:37

but one of them comes way more naturally to

1:28:39

you. So you're quicker, you know, like on with

1:28:41

what you say, which would probably make

1:28:43

it likely that you'd be funnier in that language, you know? So

1:28:46

I always, I always think about

1:28:48

that now. I'm like, who, who was the other version of you?

1:28:51

I know. I think that's

1:28:53

really funny when it comes across

1:28:55

in like music too, like how it doesn't translate very

1:28:57

well a lot of times. Like there's

1:28:59

a girl that has a series translating

1:29:01

bad bunny lyrics to English. Oh, and

1:29:03

it's like, um,

1:29:06

if there's one, I just had to Google it

1:29:08

because it's so funny. If I don't text you,

1:29:11

you don't text me a if you want me

1:29:13

to, I'll pick you up. I know where you

1:29:15

live. Perhaps today you're upset and

1:29:17

there's one perhaps today you are upset.

1:29:19

Perhaps today. And there was one, I

1:29:21

thought it was like about a cow

1:29:23

or something and it was like

1:29:26

go moo moo like moo. And I

1:29:29

was like, but

1:29:31

it's such a bop when you hear in Spanish, then

1:29:33

you hear like the English translation. You're like, yeah, this.

1:29:36

Yeah, it's so much better in Spanish. That's a

1:29:38

language is when it's like

1:29:40

intended, when it's used, how it's intended, like

1:29:43

it sounds so much beautiful learn than when

1:29:45

it gets translated a lot of times. Yeah.

1:29:47

Language is fascinating to me. I, that's why

1:29:49

I always think that people who know

1:29:51

multiple languages are so smart because I just,

1:29:53

I think it's, I think

1:29:56

it's so cool. I just wish that when I was a

1:29:58

baby, it was taught to me because I

1:30:00

know I could take classes and I could get much

1:30:02

better, but there's you never gonna have that like true

1:30:06

natural ability as if I were to learn

1:30:08

when I was a kid I think people

1:30:10

who get really close though Like I've been

1:30:12

doing babble and practicing on that is like

1:30:15

I feel like I'm like getting back into the

1:30:17

flow Like when I was using Spanish a lot

1:30:19

in high school and college It's

1:30:21

not the same as a mercy

1:30:23

Immersing immersing yourself in another country

1:30:26

like chill our friend like I feel like

1:30:28

she is so close to being so fluent

1:30:30

Yeah, it's because she lived in another country

1:30:32

with a family for months. Yeah, but her

1:30:34

Spanish even now it's like It's

1:30:36

crazy when we go to Mexico and

1:30:38

she'll just start whipping it out and

1:30:40

people like this Yeah, well everyone does

1:30:43

double takes cuz she's the most like

1:30:45

gringa like air quotes like white blonde

1:30:47

girl and she is fluent She's really

1:30:49

good. Yeah, Oh beautiful. So impressive and

1:30:52

I'm very envious of that. I want to get to that

1:30:54

like it's I would love that Yeah, I know that

1:30:56

that is that's one of my high school classes. I'm

1:30:58

gonna take College class

1:31:00

I guess But no,

1:31:03

I would love to be better because I just think it's so

1:31:05

it's such a cool skill to be

1:31:07

able to speak multiple languages Yeah Okay,

1:31:09

I'm giving you a choice on the last one Okay,

1:31:13

this first one is titled am I

1:31:15

the asshole for telling my husband's kids

1:31:17

how broke he was when we met

1:31:19

after they insinuated I was a gold digger

1:31:22

or Am

1:31:24

I the asshole for telling my friend? It's

1:31:26

not my problem. She married a useless man

1:31:28

or last one. Sorry There's actually three am

1:31:31

I the asshole for not appreciating the

1:31:33

surprise getaway. My husband planned Hmm

1:31:37

gold digger useless man not

1:31:40

appreciating surprise getaway I Want

1:31:43

to say the first one gold digger? Okay,

1:31:46

we got it. But yeah, okay. Trust

1:31:48

your gut This one is

1:31:50

three days old coming from am I the asshole again

1:31:52

titled am I the asshole for

1:31:55

telling my husband's kids How broke he

1:31:57

was when we met after they insinuated that I

1:31:59

was a I was a gold digger. I've

1:32:01

38 female, been married to my husband,

1:32:03

Rob, 52 male for four years

1:32:05

now. My husband's late wife

1:32:08

died one year before we met and

1:32:10

we dated two years before getting married.

1:32:12

He has two kids, 28 Madison

1:32:14

and 26 Brett. Note,

1:32:17

I am not calling them my stepkids

1:32:19

because they explicitly told me I am

1:32:21

not their stepmom, I am just their

1:32:24

dad's wife. I didn't play a

1:32:26

part in raising them, so I'm okay with that. It's

1:32:28

always been tense between us. I've tried my best

1:32:30

to be kind to them and have been generous

1:32:32

when I can be, but they are still very

1:32:34

cold with me. Being a child of

1:32:37

divorce, I can partially relate to a parent moving

1:32:39

on, so I try not to force anything. Madison

1:32:42

recently got engaged and we are very excited

1:32:44

about it. Everyone was over recently

1:32:46

and she asked about a wedding budget from

1:32:48

us and Rob told her he was

1:32:51

able to contribute 10K. She

1:32:53

had bigger hopes for her wedding than this, so

1:32:55

she was upset and kept asking for more. Rob,

1:32:59

however, is still working hard on building

1:33:01

his savings backup. Before his

1:33:03

late wife died, he basically wiped out his

1:33:05

cash savings, had to cash out his 401K

1:33:09

and even took a small mortgage on his house to

1:33:12

cover medical costs as well as

1:33:14

life expenses since he had to

1:33:16

cut back on working. Eventually,

1:33:18

he had to drop that job for a

1:33:20

more flexible but lower paying one, so

1:33:23

this 10K is actually really

1:33:25

generous for him. Rob

1:33:28

went to run an errand and it was just me and

1:33:30

his kids. Madison then asked me

1:33:32

if I'm going to give any addition to

1:33:34

what her dad is giving. I

1:33:36

told her we were a marital unit

1:33:39

and that's what we discussed together as

1:33:41

a reasonable amount to contribute. She

1:33:43

then said, quote, I should have known.

1:33:46

Obviously, you married an older man for

1:33:48

what he had, not for what you

1:33:50

could give. I

1:33:53

knew she didn't like me, but this

1:33:55

is the most flat out rude thing

1:33:57

she has ever said. What a

1:33:59

brat. too old to be acting like that.

1:34:04

Mom. I kind of

1:34:06

lost it and said, quote, excuse me?

1:34:09

Who do you think has been paying the second

1:34:11

mortgage your dad took out to pay his debts?

1:34:14

Truth of the matter is I make

1:34:16

more than her father by a large

1:34:18

margin. I have no debt and have

1:34:21

been paying 70% of the household bills

1:34:23

the whole time we've been married. The

1:34:25

10K we are giving her is available because

1:34:28

I've been able to subsidize her father's

1:34:30

living expenses for the last few years.

1:34:32

Did she tell her all this? I

1:34:34

hope so. I made it

1:34:36

clear that not only am I not

1:34:38

a gold digger, I am literally wealthier

1:34:40

than my older husband. She

1:34:43

called me stuck up after this and stormed out.

1:34:45

What a brat. Then she

1:34:47

called her dad later and said that I

1:34:50

told her that I blamed her mother for

1:34:52

being sick for her not having a better

1:34:54

wedding budget. I

1:34:57

told him what happened and he was mad at

1:34:59

her, but also said I shouldn't have shared his

1:35:01

financial details with his kids. Why not? It's

1:35:04

the truth of the matter. Why not? Tell

1:35:06

the truth. And also it's like, why

1:35:09

would you, your daughter is going

1:35:11

to think that you are just like stiffing her

1:35:13

if you don't tell her. Why would you not

1:35:15

want her to know? You know what I mean?

1:35:17

Me and like, why would you not want her

1:35:19

to know how generous the 10 grand is

1:35:21

that he's giving because of what he's working with.

1:35:23

This is above and beyond. You

1:35:25

are not entitled to anyone else's money for your

1:35:27

wedding. If you can't afford what you want, you

1:35:30

need to scale it back. That is not

1:35:32

anyone else's problems, but your own plan for what

1:35:34

you can afford. And if you

1:35:36

can get money, that is a fucking beautiful

1:35:38

gift. If you can't plan for

1:35:40

what you can afford. Bottom line.

1:35:43

I could not agree more. And I just, I

1:35:45

know that I'm not going to get much money

1:35:47

from my parents. If anything, I mean, I don't

1:35:49

know. We haven't discussed that, but like I,

1:35:51

I just think it's so wild to

1:35:54

me how many people think that they're entitled

1:35:56

to having their parents pay for their wedding. Why

1:35:58

that is. I guess why you're

1:36:01

an adult why why do you why do you

1:36:03

think that you're entitled to that? My

1:36:05

mom like wants to buy my dress and that's

1:36:07

something I'll let her do Yeah, that's like a

1:36:09

beautiful thing for her if they want to other

1:36:12

than that. I'm not taking any money. Yeah I

1:36:14

don't want any money. Yeah, right, right And it's

1:36:16

like if they like really want to and there's

1:36:18

no strings attached and it makes them feel good,

1:36:20

right? Then sure you guys can pay for the

1:36:22

the meal or like whatever but otherwise

1:36:24

like no Yeah, like no,

1:36:27

I totally agree and I'm like and that's

1:36:29

a privilege that is fully a privilege to be

1:36:31

able to do that Mm-hmm, but it's not

1:36:33

an expectation from me. That's well. Yeah, and and

1:36:35

the thing is is that like I I Just

1:36:40

I would I would have like

1:36:42

a court wedding before I would go and get

1:36:44

pissed off at like other people for not paying

1:36:46

For my wedding. Yeah, I just I just don't

1:36:48

understand why it's the expectation because it is it's

1:36:50

like very traditional And I'm like why I don't

1:36:53

get why it is and if you do have

1:36:55

people that can and want to pay for you

1:36:57

That's fantastic. I'm not saying anything bad about that.

1:36:59

Like take it go for it like that's fantastic,

1:37:01

but to expect it and then be pissed off

1:37:04

and moody and When

1:37:06

you're not getting enough, yeah, it's just like

1:37:10

scoofy I Don't

1:37:13

understand it. I think in some

1:37:15

sense it probably comes from the tradition of the

1:37:17

bride's family paying a dowry It

1:37:20

does it comes from that but I'm like,

1:37:22

but why we're but we're also in 2024

1:37:24

now exactly traditions change Yes, it can be

1:37:26

equally paid it, you know teach their own

1:37:29

but to expect it and then like

1:37:32

Ma'am you just found out she makes more

1:37:35

money than your dad and then you Call

1:37:37

her stuck up and storm out. Yeah, and then

1:37:39

you go to your dad and lie. Your mom

1:37:41

was not mentioned Yeah, and it is I

1:37:44

feel for them to not have

1:37:46

your mom there You lost your mom

1:37:48

due to like an illness and that's

1:37:50

fucking tragic. That sucks That's

1:37:53

probably like really bringing it into perspective again

1:37:55

and like cutting open that wound because you're

1:37:57

getting married and your mom won't be there

1:38:00

But that doesn't mean you can take it out on

1:38:02

this other person Especially because you

1:38:04

made it very very very clear to

1:38:06

this person. You're not my stepmom. Yeah,

1:38:08

you're not anything but my dad's wife

1:38:12

So why do you expect to get money from her? totally

1:38:15

that a Hundred percent and

1:38:17

I have a problem with the husband

1:38:19

not defending her. Hmm. That is the

1:38:21

reality, honey. I love

1:38:23

you I'm sorry. You're upset that I can't contribute

1:38:26

more but the reality is

1:38:28

your mom was really really sick and medical bills

1:38:30

are the number one cause of bankruptcy in the

1:38:32

United States and I was

1:38:34

barely barely able to keep afloat. Yeah, it's lucky.

1:38:36

I have 10k to give you. Mm-hmm Let's try

1:38:38

to see how we can really stretch it and

1:38:40

make it go further exactly

1:38:44

Nailed it defend your wife. Mm-hmm There's not anything

1:38:46

to do with her The reason I

1:38:48