0:00

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! The

0:02

Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day,

0:04

Joe Rogan podcast by night,

0:06

all day! Do

0:13

it. Headphones? Why not? Locksy

0:17

in. I can't

0:19

live without the headphones. Every time someone doesn't want to wear headphones,

0:21

I'm like, okay. We don't have to. You

0:25

know. Some people don't want to mess their hair

0:27

up. We don't have that problem. That's

0:30

my hat look. Looks good. I

0:32

like it. I like them paper boy

0:35

hats. I love those. My

0:37

favorite hats. Yeah. Well, the reason I do it is because I

0:40

started wearing hats because after the show people would

0:42

take photos with me, with my shaved head. And

0:44

the light would just bounce off my chrome. And

0:46

you couldn't see me in the photo. So,

0:49

I realized that I wore baseball

0:51

caps, but then when you're on stage it puts

0:53

a shadow over your face. Right. Can't

0:56

see your face. So, I started wearing these. Yeah. I love those. I

0:59

like shaving the head though. I started during the

1:01

pandemic. Yeah, you should have done that

1:03

long time ago. What's that side hair bullshit? I know. I know. It's

1:06

nonsense. I feel so much better like this. Also, you

1:08

have to go to a barber? What? Right. And

1:11

listen to some stupid stories? Oh,

1:14

shit. Fuck off. Dude, when

1:16

I was a teenager there was a place in New York called

1:18

the Stag Brothers. And it

1:20

was these two Italian brothers. And

1:22

they cut hair. And you go in

1:25

there and they had the reason we all went.

1:27

Like our moms would drop us off out front.

1:29

We'd go inside. And then they

1:31

had penthouse magazines while you waited. So,

1:34

you hoped that you got to wait for a while. And

1:36

then they call you and like, you got your little

1:39

15 year old erection. You're trying to hide. Put the

1:41

cape over me. Cover me. I

1:45

always felt like barbershops were guys hung out. That's

1:47

all just for people who don't play pool. That

1:50

was always my thought. Like I

1:52

see what you're doing. Like you're getting a guy's

1:54

place where guys can hang out and just talk.

1:56

Right. But this is not the

1:59

way to do it. because people come

2:01

in, people you don't know come in, you

2:03

can't tell some dirty story. You know, you

2:05

can't, you can't, you know what I mean?

2:07

Yeah. It's like. That seems

2:09

to be big in the black culture. I

2:11

mean, obviously there's those movies, Barbershop, but I

2:13

mean, it really is a place that people

2:16

hang out. But

2:18

now you got cigar, do you like hanging out in

2:20

cigar shops? Yeah, cigar bars are good. Yeah.

2:22

I like it. Cause it's one of the

2:24

rare places where you go to a cigar,

2:26

I used to love that place, the Grand

2:28

Havana Room in Beverly Hills. It's a great

2:30

room. People had their own humidors in there?

2:32

Yeah, I had a humidor for a long

2:34

time. And you could eat like nice meals

2:36

and smoke cigar. Yeah. Cause it's a private

2:38

club. So you could have a

2:40

steak, some pasta and you're smoking a

2:42

cigar at the table and everybody's doing it. That's

2:44

awesome. Yeah, it was cool. And it was a

2:47

cool place. You're like, oh, look at that guy.

2:49

Cause it was in Beverly Hills. Oh, it was

2:51

a power spot. I remember like Michael Rotenberg, remember

2:53

from Three Arts, Dave Becky, he

2:56

brought me there once and he had the humidor and

2:58

he was just pointing up. He was like, yeah, that

3:00

guy owns Warner Brothers. Yeah. That dude

3:02

is a eight picture deal over

3:04

in Columbia. Yeah. You know

3:07

who I saw there once? I was kind of a little

3:09

starstruck. Remember that dude

3:11

from, what is the

3:13

New York blues? What was it? That

3:16

NYPD blue. Yeah. Remember

3:18

NYPD blue? Yeah, yeah. What's the dude's name?

3:20

Jimmy Smith. No, no, no,

3:23

no. The first guy. Jerry Orback? The

3:25

first guy. Dennis something. Oh yeah. Dennis

3:27

Franz? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

3:31

The redheaded guy. Oh yeah.

3:34

He ended up quitting to get a movie

3:36

career that never happened. Fuck man. I

3:39

think they tanked that guy. Yes.

3:43

What the fuck's his name? The guy was good,

3:46

man. No, he quit because he thought he had

3:48

a big movie career. But this is the thing.

3:50

It didn't happen. But you can't do that. What's

3:54

the guy's name though? No, not that

3:56

guy. That's the indie simple wits.

3:58

Or that's the character he played, right? but

4:00

the other guy Jesus

4:04

Christ this is David Caruso is that his

4:06

name no that's the guy who produced

4:08

the show right is

4:12

that his name David Caruso it is his name right

4:15

maybe what doesn't say the

4:17

cast down there yeah yep

4:20

that's oh yeah David

4:22

came down hard on him oh

4:25

he came down hard on him okay that guy

4:27

should have been a giant

4:29

movie star yeah dude he was really good

4:31

on that show but if you

4:33

have that thing where you like fuck this I'm quitting

4:35

I'm gonna be a star bro they

4:37

want you to fucking fall flat on your

4:40

face they're like fuck this guy yeah 15

4:42

more guys like you in theater school right

4:44

now 15 more troubled

4:46

guys from the inner city you know

4:48

they have a gritty past the scars

4:50

on their face go fuck yourself

4:53

and that's they did to that guy yeah

4:56

also he's a redhead name name a lot of

4:58

redheaded could have been the guy like one guy gets

5:00

cocky we had our

5:04

guy we

5:09

had our fucking guy man and instead they

5:11

started the phrase did the word ginger and

5:14

took them all down that was really easy

5:16

they were just right heads before that it

5:18

was normal yeah redhead you weren't a freak

5:20

now you were just a person with red

5:23

hair no one cared now they beat

5:25

you up there's literally like bullying if you're

5:27

a redhead I was a redhead we

5:29

really I was a fucking copper top until I

5:32

was probably about 11 I was

5:34

so bizarre you're here change color yep how

5:36

weird is that it happened to my kids

5:38

too both my kids were red heads and

5:40

their hair changed when they got older it's

5:43

God letting you know I could have let

5:45

you slide like he got me in a

5:47

headlock he

5:53

gave me a little dick and then it grew

5:56

bigger oh I remember having a little

5:58

dick oh no that was the worst feeling And when you

6:00

were a little kid and you know you just

6:02

well you see your dad's dick. Yeah, what the fuck?

6:04

I know what is that thing that fuck and why

6:06

is it always hard? Men's

6:10

dicks like when you're a boy.

6:12

They're terrifying Like

6:14

see some guy pull out his fucking

6:16

this sausage roll when he's pissing right

6:18

yeah What

6:20

the fuck does he do with yeah,

6:22

and his balls are hanging six inches

6:25

Ari's balls or Joey Diaz's balls yeah,

6:27

he's Diaz balls like grapefruit and old

6:29

ladies pantyos like what the fuck

6:31

am I looking at? Those are your balls His

6:39

balls look like him yeah, it's

6:41

like cartoonish Fucking

6:44

hilarious his balls are hilarious. Oh

6:46

my god balls are hilarious It's

6:50

amazing that a woman Why

6:52

would they have sex with us our

6:54

penis is everything about us gross

6:56

yeah, we're not soft No,

6:59

we're not squeezeable and lovable.

7:01

We're not we're not comforting.

7:03

We're grunting We

7:05

have an agenda Yeah, thick dense

7:07

heavy thing on top of you that can kill you

7:09

and you want it to fuck you what? What

7:13

is trusting us trusting us to not

7:15

kill you yeah, I know like if

7:17

every woman could kill you Yeah,

7:20

all of them every woman that you ever date can

7:22

literally just strangle you to death and not a damn

7:24

thing You could do about it. That's what's like being

7:26

a woman well or a gay guy Well

7:29

gay guys could be strong No I'm

7:31

just saying it's weird that there is this

7:34

accepted power dynamic between a man and a

7:36

woman when they make love because Well

7:39

like you said the woman trusts, but we have

7:41

two guys It's kind of

7:43

like I don't know what it's like But

7:46

I think it's like you know it's like son of a bitch

7:48

you were just about to tell me what it was like you

7:51

You're about to break You

7:53

know I almost did once right how

7:55

close you get I've

7:57

told this story on my podcast, but I'll give a brief

8:00

version of it. I went,

8:02

when I was in college, I was

8:04

an English major and I studied like Allen

8:07

Ginsberg and Kerouac and all these guys that

8:09

were into homoerotic stuff. A lot of them

8:11

were gay and then

8:14

and even Emerson and Whitman, like all that

8:16

old stuff. It was all gay imagery. And

8:18

then there was David Bowie. I loved Iggy

8:20

Pop, Mick Jagger, and these guys were all

8:22

fucking around with each other. Yeah. And so

8:24

I was like, all right, this must be

8:26

kind of something you do. You experiment with

8:28

this. That's how they get you. That's how

8:31

they get you. They get a couple mascots.

8:33

They get the coolest guy in rock and roll. Right?

8:36

The three coolest guys in rock. Ziggy

8:39

Stardust. Yeah. And so, so

8:42

I was not attracted to men. I never have been.

8:44

I can appreciate a handsome man. I think you're not

8:46

hard on the eyes. Thank you. And then I

8:48

was like, all right, so I guess I'll, I'm not gonna take

8:50

it up the ass, but you know. Right, maybe kiss a

8:53

little bit. No, no, I didn't want to do that. Suck a

8:55

cock. Suck a cock. And

8:57

then I realized like, I'm gonna do it. And

8:59

when I do it, it's either gonna be like, ugh.

9:03

Or it's gonna be like, oh my

9:05

god, this is fucking amazing. This is incredible. That's

9:07

what I've been missing. And so,

9:10

so I was drunk one night. I

9:12

was like a junior in college. And

9:14

my apart, remember the Fenway in Boston?

9:16

Yeah, yeah. The Fenway was like a

9:18

wooded area. Like every city has a

9:20

small wooded area where

9:22

they grow trees for the reason for

9:25

anonymous gay sex. The Brambles in Manhattan,

9:27

you got Griffith Park in LA. There's

9:29

always like a little gay area. So

9:31

my apartment happened to be, it was

9:33

on Boylson Street. It was across the

9:35

street from the Fenway. So

9:38

I'm stumbling home one night. It's like three in

9:40

the morning. And I look at the woods and

9:42

I go, fuck it. I'm gonna do it. Wow.

9:45

So I walk in. And

9:47

I'm looking around like, I don't know the protocol.

9:50

I don't know how it works. And you're like,

9:52

I'm just waiting. And then all of a sudden,

9:54

it's like fucking leaves are blowing up. And then

9:56

this guy just pops out from behind a tree

9:58

like a little gay leprechaun. Yeah,

36:00

so they don't need to shoot new stuff.

36:02

They can use old footage of you don't

36:05

need Anything anymore. They

36:07

could do John Wayne movies, but

36:09

really sophisticated like Tarantino John Wayne

36:11

movie Like they could do

36:13

that right now. Yeah, like someone in AI

36:15

using this program. Wait, maybe not now maybe

36:18

five nuts from now can make

36:20

a John

36:22

Wayne Tarantino film like make

36:24

a Western But in

36:26

the style of Quentin Tarantino with the same

36:29

type of dialogue, huh? Like

36:31

that Robert Rodriguez would direct with him Yeah,

36:33

and put that together and they can make

36:35

it in the style of these get they

36:37

just look at Kill Bill Look

36:39

at reservoir dogs. Okay, we kind of know what

36:41

he's into Bam

36:45

and it's moody. It's dark. There's

36:47

rain dripping from the ceiling You're

36:50

looking at the gun before he shoots the guy

36:53

The pupils dilate the fucking the

36:56

pores guys got a pockmark face

36:58

from Acne scars

37:00

that mean they can do everything man

37:02

It's it looks like a real movie

37:04

and a movie is a little easier

37:07

to do than video I

37:09

would think because in a movie you make the

37:11

background blurry. It's a little softer. Yeah, that's a weird

37:13

thing like We like

37:15

films where we that doesn't

37:17

look real We

37:20

like a film where when you're talking

37:22

everybody in the background is blurry. Mm-hmm

37:24

I don't want to see everybody in

37:27

the background crystal clear Like

37:29

I remember the first time I got a

37:31

high-def TV it threw me. I was like

37:33

this looks fake This looks fake. Yeah, everything

37:35

was too much in my face and

37:38

I think Tarantino still shoots on film Yeah,

37:41

I think his films are all done

37:43

on film. I think the problem with

37:45

video is it's too good Yeah, it's

37:47

too good like soap operas. I

37:50

don't they shoot those on film or on video.

37:52

They shoot in my video It's probably cheap. I'm

37:54

sure it's video because the editing is so much

37:56

easier when you edit film You have to convert

37:58

it and then edit it and then they're converted

38:01

back again. And so when

38:03

you, like I've written on TV shows that were

38:05

filmed and first of all, you

38:07

can't do as many takes in a row because you

38:09

have to change the reels on the cameras. So

38:11

you get to get in two or three takes

38:14

and you got to stop down for five minutes

38:16

and reload. I'm pretty sure news radio was filmed.

38:19

Yeah, I'm sure it was. Yeah, 90%. And

38:22

I think Fear Factor was not. Usually

38:24

multi-camera is when you're in a studio, like

38:26

everybody loves Raymond or something like that. That's

38:30

usually shot digitally. I think they

38:32

tried to do a digital, like

38:34

one episode or something. God, maybe I'm remembering, maybe

38:36

it was something else I did. But

38:38

I remember they were trying to make this transition. But

38:41

people didn't like the way it looked. There

38:44

was a video on advertisement the other day

38:46

with Tom Cruise and someone else. And they

38:48

were talking about the settings on your television.

38:50

That if you have the settings on your

38:52

television set from the

38:54

factory incorrectly, it can make these

38:57

brilliant films look too much like

39:00

video. Because of whatever

39:02

funky shit they're doing to

39:05

make the television look clearer and crisper,

39:07

which is great in most things. But

39:09

it's not great when you're watching a

39:11

film that's been sort of designed to

39:13

get you to focus on specific things

39:15

and have the background more blurry. Like

39:18

I remember the first time I saw one

39:21

of the Star Wars films, like

39:24

Return of the Jedi or one of those. And

39:26

I saw it on a high resolution big

39:28

screen TV. I was like, this looks like

39:30

dog shit. The background was

39:33

so fake. It was like so clearly like

39:35

a painting of a spaceship in the background.

39:37

It looks so corny, but in the movies

39:39

it looked perfect. Yeah, right. Yeah,

39:42

I was gonna shoot my special on film. I

39:44

actually was talking to Kodak and getting the reels

39:46

and it ended up, it was gonna be three

39:49

times more expensive to shoot it on film. But

39:52

think about like live at the

39:54

Sunset Strip. Oh yeah. I mean, it felt

39:56

like you were in the room. You could

39:58

smell it and feel it. It's also a

40:00

time capsule too though, right? Yeah,

40:02

there's something about that where you're like God Richard Pryor's

40:04

like 35 back Then look

40:06

at him, you know, look at the crowd.

40:09

Look at the audience. This is wild Yeah,

40:11

what was it like back then? Imagine being

40:13

alive back then and then sitting in that

40:15

audience back then like fuck. All right Is

40:18

there any good footage of Lenny Bruce? There's

40:20

some a lot of black and white

40:23

stuff. I would love to see that Yeah, there's

40:25

a lot of unfortunate footage that was him when

40:27

he was kind of going crazy at the end

40:29

of his life He was just reading from transcripts

40:31

of his yeah. Yeah, you see those? Yeah, that's

40:34

bad. They're weird. Yeah, they're weird Yeah, because people

40:36

don't know what they're listening to like why am

40:38

I listening to this? He

40:40

became obsessed with his trial. Uh-huh Trials,

40:43

you know, they were just they're putting that guy

40:46

in jail for doing something we do every night.

40:48

Mm-hmm, which is Really crazy.

40:50

Yeah, really crazy Yeah,

40:53

there we go from 1965 I'm

40:59

happy alone. Don't you see? I've

41:03

convinced you I don't

41:05

I get so dramatic about you better off alone, man.

41:08

I got it That's it. I'm

41:10

gonna get a whole bunch of new suits. You

41:12

know, they're the same dumb suit for 10 years

41:15

You walk in her closet. You can't even breathe That's

41:19

it. I got a whole bunch of suits. I'll get a

41:21

chick that likes to hang out man I'll

41:23

get it. I'll have the vodka party. That's my vodka

41:25

party swing it up all up. I'll get it I

41:27

got a chick likes to drink Boy

41:31

my wife sure used to look good standing

41:33

up against this sink She's

41:37

the lowest I

41:40

really put her down. No No,

41:42

I really miss her. I

41:44

don't want some sharp chick that can coat

41:46

Kerouac and walk with boys I

41:49

just want to hear my old lady say get

41:52

up and fix the sink. It's

41:54

still making noise All

41:57

alone All

41:59

alone I

44:00

trailed off in the third season. I bailed off

44:03

in the third season also. You know what it

44:05

got? It got very shticky. It got very Jewish

44:07

sounding. Well, it's also like... Almost like a

44:09

Neil Simon play. I want to see the

44:11

struggle in her trying to make it because

44:13

it's kind of crazy that this housewife decides

44:15

to become a comedian and she's actually really

44:17

talented and kind of wild and crazy. But

44:20

then once she starts making, I'm bored. Yeah. Because

44:23

now you're in nonsense land. Right, right. Now she's going

44:25

to be glamorous or she's doing USO tours like shut

44:27

the fuck up. You know who's great in that show?

44:29

It's Kevin Pollock. Oh yeah. Yeah, he's

44:31

really strong. Yeah, he is great in that. He's one

44:33

of those guys that just like... He could

44:35

do anything. ...for a lot. You ever see

44:37

his IMDB page? Mm-hmm. He's like hundreds

44:40

of roles. Oh yeah, yeah. He's played bad guys,

44:42

good guys. Yeah. Yeah.

44:44

He's a good comic too. He is. Yeah,

44:47

it's hard for people to pull off because you

44:51

got to really be doing it because if you're not

44:53

really doing it, I know you're not really doing it.

44:55

Like if it's not really making the audience laugh, like

44:57

even if you had to do your act and there

45:00

was a crowd of people that were paid to laugh

45:02

at your act. Mm-hmm. So you

45:04

have to do your act. They see you do it

45:06

over and over and over again. Take five and they

45:08

have to ha ha ha ha. I'm going

45:10

to know you're not connecting with them. I'm going to

45:12

know they're not connecting with you. You're never really going

45:14

to be able to do that in

45:16

a movie unless the guy actually does stand up. Yeah.

45:20

Like if Louis CK was going to do a movie about a

45:22

comic and he would have to like do stand up. And

45:25

he used to do that in Louis, right? Yeah. And if

45:27

he did the movie at the beginning of the show, he would do a little stand up.

45:30

Well, he actually did the

45:32

stand up though. That was actual real stand up. I

45:35

think Seinfeld too did that. Yeah. He

45:37

got real audiences. The only way to do it, if you

45:40

have a movie and you have a bunch of

45:42

people that are being paid to sit and be

45:44

audience members, like the whole dynamic is fucked. Yeah.

45:47

It's never going to be real. It has to be. You'd

45:49

have to just have bring in crowds. Yeah.

45:52

Just bring in a bunch of crowds. Have a

45:54

comic do it and film it at a theater,

45:57

film four shows. It's the only way

45:59

you're going to do it. How

50:00

many people you give them a Calibri lighter and

50:02

they just who well, it's like man covering fire.

50:04

Oh So

50:06

if they use that I Would

50:09

have bought that movie that would have been

50:11

a much better movie. How did they not

50:13

know that? Yeah, if you're doing a film

50:15

on stand-up, yeah, and you're gonna have comics

50:17

you could have just had them doing stand-up

50:20

Yeah, actually do stand-up just get a comedy

50:22

club you say Tom

50:24

Hanks is gonna perform. It's gonna sell out and

50:26

you say oh and ladies and gentlemen You guys

50:29

are gonna be in a movie. Yeah, do not heckle

50:31

and Have a great

50:33

show. All right. Oh my god. We're gonna be a movie.

50:35

This is amazing. You'd be extra excited Happy,

50:37

uh-huh. It'll be great. It would have been a great

50:39

movie. Yeah, but maybe You

50:42

know Sally feels jokes were terrible in that movie.

50:44

Oh, I'd see her set, you know Barry

50:49

Sobel they do it on purposely bad.

50:52

No, I think they gave me five I

50:54

don't know But he was in

50:56

it. He used to kill it. Oh then very so.

50:58

Oh, yeah My first start come to the store. He

51:00

was one of the big names there. Yeah, he was

51:02

on MTV a lot I remember that was the guy

51:04

from punchline, but it was a quite a while afterwards,

51:07

right? so this is like 94 and that movie was

51:09

like 88 and He

51:12

was still kind of doing that same kind of

51:14

character. That was a weird thing about

51:16

the store in 94. It's like You

51:19

know what a wave? Hits

51:21

a shore and then pulls back.

51:24

You see like driftwood and shit just

51:26

gets stuck on the beach That

51:29

was a good item 94.

51:31

Yeah, because kennison was

51:33

this wave and kennison and that movement

51:35

was this wave that washed over comedy

51:38

in Hollywood and Then

51:40

kennison left the store and then kennison died

51:42

in a car accident And then

51:45

I came to the store like two years later

51:47

and it was like beech wood, you

51:49

know It's like fucking driftwood and bottle

51:52

caps and shit All right, it's like there

51:54

was a lot of guys there that should not

51:57

been doing stand-up anymore. They had been doing

51:59

the same for 30 years.

52:01

It was weird. Bodak's guy, like I was like

52:04

this is the comedy store. Like this is weird

52:06

and there's 18 people in the crowd and then

52:08

like Don Marrero would go up or someone legit

52:10

would show up or Damon Wayans would show up

52:12

and you go oh there's still some good guys

52:14

here. There's still some good guys here. But

52:17

it was when

52:19

Kinison was around it's packed because

52:22

there was like this vibrant energy to comedy

52:24

in Hollywood and I miss that wave. God

52:27

I wish I could have seen it. Imagine that

52:30

Robin Williams popping in. Nuts. Fuck.

52:32

Going to hope he doesn't do my material. Yeah

52:35

he was in the crowd one night I was at

52:37

the comedy seller and he was in the crowd just

52:40

for some reason he was drunk it was

52:42

like he had had a lapse and

52:45

he started heckling me but like in a playful way

52:47

like he wanted to like improv and

52:49

fuck around yeah so I did I played with him

52:51

I couldn't believe I don't know where I got it

52:53

in me but I was like shitting on him for

52:55

being Morick from Orick and he was laughing. He didn't

52:58

jump up on the stage which would have been fucking

53:00

sweet but we and then he

53:02

hung out after I met him a few times

53:04

fucking sweetest guy in the world and not

53:06

at all how he is on stage like

53:08

very sweet yeah very minimal calm very very

53:10

much like interested in you like ask you

53:12

questions. Yeah I met him once at the

53:15

improv and I didn't know I was talking

53:17

to him until like a couple minutes into

53:19

our conversation. Oh shit. So I was I

53:21

did a show at the improv then afterwards

53:23

I was taking pictures so I was in

53:25

the front bar and there's a line of

53:27

people just taking pictures saying hi to people

53:29

and this guy comes up and he's he

53:33

said that was really wonderful I really really loved

53:35

this one bit he's talking to me about this bit

53:37

he's like that bit was like god the courage to

53:39

say that and I'm like this

53:42

is Robin Williams like he's got a

53:45

big white beard and a hat on

53:47

and I didn't realize well

53:49

thank you man I go over I really

53:51

appreciate it thank and thank you for coming

53:53

oh yeah I really wanted to watch your

53:55

set it was really fun wow it was

53:57

cool but I was like this is the

53:59

craziest thing he didn't introduce himself. I'm

54:01

Robin Williams. He waited in line. Nobody

54:03

noticed that he was in line because

54:05

he had this big beard, a big

54:07

beard and glasses and a hat on.

54:09

And it took him like, I was

54:12

like, oh shit. Super

54:14

nice guy. Super nice guy. I

54:17

wish there wasn't that jokes dealing thing connected with

54:20

him, but I think in

54:23

his defense, I think he was kind of crazy. I

54:25

don't think he remembered he was doing it. I think

54:27

it was just like, it was sticky. Dokes were sticky

54:29

to him. And then they came up

54:32

because it was improvising. And I read

54:34

this article about it. That's a nice,

54:36

that's a hopeful way of thinking. You

54:38

hope he didn't know he was doing it. It was like, fucking,

54:40

I'm doing it anyway. I want to make it. He

54:43

used to steal so much from Rick

54:45

Overton that he

54:47

was getting, he would just call his manager

54:49

and be like, he did it again and they just cut him

54:51

a check. But it was like, you

54:53

know, money doesn't cover it. That's your tool belt.

54:56

That's taking somebody's... It

54:58

could be the difference between you making it and not making

55:00

it. You can have one bit. Sometimes

55:03

for a comic, it's one bit that you

55:05

base an entire career on. And you have

55:07

this one bit and this bit shows you

55:10

that with the proper focus and a subject

55:12

where you're really connected to it, you can

55:14

come up with a banger. So I can

55:16

fuck, and you can headline and close with

55:18

that. And if some guy just does that

55:20

on TV, they have just hamstrings

55:23

your act. You don't have

55:25

a closer anymore. And maybe you base other

55:27

stuff on that bit. Like maybe it's

55:29

like you point to

55:31

it at previous times so that the

55:34

end part, it's even funnier because it's

55:36

kind of a callback. I've

55:39

seen it happen to guys where their career just tanked.

55:43

You remember Larry

55:46

Miller's closing bit on the

55:48

10 stages or how many

55:50

stages of being drunk? He

55:52

closed with that shit for years and

55:55

people demanded it because it was an

55:57

act out. So you didn't get sick of

55:59

seeing it. And he honed it

56:01

over the year. I mean he's such

56:03

a craftsman. He's such an exacting performer

56:05

and and such a precise writer and

56:08

Then I saw some guy doing that bit. I was

56:10

like dude I mean I

56:12

hate to bring up Mencia But like it was

56:14

like that thing with Cosby with the football thing

56:17

like yeah, like dude. That's like exact Donald

56:20

yeah, it's a legendary bit. Yeah, that's what's

56:23

crazy But I

56:25

think people did things before they

56:27

understood the internet Because

56:30

they didn't understand that there's gonna be

56:32

real consequences. It's not just some people

56:34

talking about things It's a

56:36

video that shows the bit by

56:39

Cosby and then your bit back to back

56:41

Yeah, you could if there's a thing that

56:44

happened because of the internet where it wasn't a rumor

56:46

anymore It was like you could just see

56:48

it right in front of your face and go oh There's

56:51

no way well especially when it's more than

56:53

one bit and they put a compilation together

56:55

Wow There's

56:57

also there's a thing that happens with

57:00

those guys where you see there's a

57:02

stark contrast Between the material

57:04

they steal and the material they

57:06

write themselves Like the

57:08

material they write themselves This

57:10

doesn't make any sense It's like they're

57:13

doing a caricature of the the guy

57:15

who is killing with the jokes with

57:17

that same attitude But now you

57:19

have nothing connected to it, but you have all

57:21

this confidence But it doesn't make

57:23

any sense and when they get caught

57:25

then they have to do their own stuff and

57:28

Usually it's a fucking drop off a

57:30

cliff Yeah It's a drop off a

57:32

cliff the difference between the early stuff

57:34

where they weren't stealing or they were

57:36

stealing rather and the later stuff Where

57:38

they have to write their own stuff

57:40

Well also when you get guys that

57:42

aren't just taking and not just guys women

57:45

obviously Who aren't

57:47

just taking the jokes, but they're taking the

57:49

persona like how many guys did we see?

57:52

Being Bill Hicks back in the day Well,

57:54

there was a sign in the green room

57:56

of the punchline in Atlanta quit trying to

57:58

be Hicks. Oh, yeah Yeah,

58:00

somebody the back the back green room

58:02

of the punchline Atlanta or yeah Atlanta

58:04

was awesome because There was

58:06

a bunch of people that signed the wall You know the walls

58:09

were all signed and it was like wow Mitch

58:11

Hedberg and and there's a big sign someone he

58:13

wrote quit trying to be Hicks. That's awesome. Yeah

58:17

That was a great club Atlanta

58:19

punch. Oh perfect club perfect old

58:21

wooden club perfect club and it

58:23

had They must have done

58:25

comedy 30 years there They

58:28

moved to they moved to a it's funny because

58:30

it's not as big of a place and

58:33

it's connected to like a diner But

58:35

it's still kind of got the magic of

58:37

the old punchline. Yes, great Atlanta crowds

58:39

We did a nice theater in Atlanta

58:41

one time. Yeah, remember that. Yeah, that

58:44

was fun. That was funny shit. Yeah,

58:46

Lana's great It's great comedy place. Yeah,

58:48

it's um You

58:50

know, it sucks. They had to lose

58:52

that original spot though the original spot

58:54

Perfectly designed I think it was literally

58:56

crumbling by the end was it? Yeah

59:00

It was a tear down. Yeah, and

59:02

I just like there's something about old

59:04

clubs where you really can feel the

59:06

history Oh, yeah, like zany's zany's in

59:09

Nashville. Yeah, the punchline is Comedy

59:12

words. I'm there next week. Yeah,

59:15

you feel it in the walls. Yeah It's

59:17

like so many people laughed there so many people

59:20

have had good times there It's like burned into

59:22

the building and also I think the

59:24

the staff you can tell a great club because you

59:26

go back year after year And it's the same staff.

59:28

Yeah, you know, you got people that you know, it's

59:31

a waitress that she's been working there 20

59:33

years But she's got a day job, but she's like

59:35

fuck that I'm come I'm still coming in on Friday

59:37

nights because these are my friends, you know and I

59:39

get to see all the comics that I've loved over

59:41

the years and yeah,

59:43

the the All those

59:45

clubs that and then you go to some of these

59:48

bigger clubs where they're like a chain and the turnover

59:50

is Fast. Yeah, there's

59:52

a big difference. Yeah, it's

59:55

also it's like You

59:57

have a regular job at a restaurant or

59:59

something like that Yeah, boring. Yep. Not boring.

1:00:01

When you rather go see comedy,

1:00:04

have fun, laugh, everybody's drinking. Uh-huh. It's a festive

1:00:06

environment. Yeah. Even if you're not like listening to

1:00:08

the comic, if someone's killing, you're in the room

1:00:10

and someone's killing, it feels good. Yeah, yeah. So

1:00:12

it's got some good energy to it. I know.

1:00:15

And it's also, my niece moved out to San

1:00:17

Diego and I got her a job as a

1:00:19

waitress at the comedy store in La Jolla. Oh,

1:00:21

wow. And so she hit the ground running because

1:00:24

like, you know, you don't know people and all

1:00:26

of a sudden she's working with a staff of

1:00:28

people that are all fun as shit and they

1:00:30

work together and then they all go out for

1:00:32

drinks afterwards and now she's got a real job

1:00:34

and she's, yeah, she's still working there one or

1:00:36

two nights a week. That comedy store in La

1:00:38

Jolla is another one of those places. It's a

1:00:40

classic room. Classic room. You can kill that room.

1:00:43

Ooh, yeah, I know. Quite a few people have

1:00:45

done specials there. Well, I think

1:00:47

the store is, yeah, I think the store

1:00:49

is actually setting out to do a bunch

1:00:51

of specials down there. They've got, they've got

1:00:53

some good people that they've kind of hired

1:00:55

to do a production wing of the store.

1:00:57

It's a perfect room. Yeah. Perfect room. Yeah.

1:01:00

It's like, it's actually even better than

1:01:02

the OR because there's less people going

1:01:04

in, like there's less noise. Like the

1:01:06

OR has the problem with that hallway.

1:01:08

That hallway sucks. And it's also not

1:01:11

LA. So you've got a little bit

1:01:13

of a better cross section of people.

1:01:15

Yeah, yeah, more fun. Yeah. Less pretense.

1:01:17

Yeah. Yeah, that's a problem with LA.

1:01:19

Everybody in the audience wants to be on stage.

1:01:23

Yeah. Even if they're

1:01:25

not fun, they wish they were or they could

1:01:27

have been, maybe that could have been me. Yeah.

1:01:29

You know, where they, it's not like this

1:01:32

is Mike, you know, Mike as a

1:01:34

fucking runs a John Deere factory.

1:01:36

He likes to go out with his wife

1:01:39

on the weekend and laugh. That's it. Like

1:01:41

a normal guy. Yeah. Just a human. Yeah.

1:01:44

Everybody wants, like

1:01:46

that whole town is at

1:01:49

least poisoned by people

1:01:51

that want to be famous. Is

1:01:53

at least some aspect of it.

1:01:55

The radiation from that Chernobyl is

1:01:59

in everything. everything that everybody does.

1:02:01

There's a certain percentage of bullshit that exists

1:02:03

in normal conversations in Hollywood that just doesn't

1:02:05

exist in the rest of the country. No,

1:02:07

I was just in New York last week

1:02:10

and all anybody talks about in New York

1:02:12

is, they talk about politics

1:02:14

in a smart way, they talk about

1:02:16

culture, they talk about writers, and

1:02:19

then you go back to LA and they

1:02:21

just all talk about show bed. Like even

1:02:23

your doctor, your doctor wants to talk about

1:02:25

his famous clients and he's got headshots on

1:02:27

his wall. It's like, you're a fucking doctor.

1:02:30

I don't care that Leonard Nimoy used to

1:02:32

come here. He's dead,

1:02:34

you failed. All headshots, all

1:02:36

over the wall. It's

1:02:42

so strange. My shrink said to me one

1:02:44

time, he

1:02:47

goes, I was telling

1:02:49

him about how I was down. I don't know if

1:02:52

you remember this, but I used to do stern a lot and stern,

1:02:56

I asked him to write the foreword to my book. And

1:02:58

do you remember the story? Yeah,

1:03:00

so he basically ran me through the mill and

1:03:02

it was a bit, it was a radio bit.

1:03:05

It wasn't mean spirited. It was

1:03:07

a little mean spirited. Well, it came off way

1:03:09

worse than the reality of it was. Explain

1:03:11

it to people that don't know what we're talking about. Well, so

1:03:13

I asked him to write the foreword to my book and then

1:03:15

he said on the air, there's a million things I'd rather do

1:03:17

than sit down and write this foreword. And I think the

1:03:20

intent was he didn't want people coming to him

1:03:22

and ask him to do things like this or

1:03:24

he'd be doing it all the time. So

1:03:27

I asked him to do it and he just starts

1:03:29

busting my balls and calling me at home and saying,

1:03:31

I don't wanna do this and blah, blah, blah. So

1:03:33

I go to my shrink and

1:03:35

I'm talking about dive depression. So

1:03:38

let that sit for a second. And

1:03:42

he says to me, he goes, it's so weird. I

1:03:44

have a, he should never fucking told me this. He

1:03:46

goes, I have a patient that came in and he

1:03:48

said, he's having a hard time lately. And I said,

1:03:50

well, what's going on? And he goes, well, my boss

1:03:52

at work is a fucking douche. My

1:03:54

wife keeps telling me that I'm not, I'm

1:03:58

not emotional enough. And then there's this guy named Greg Fitzsimons. on

1:04:00

the Howard Stern Show and they're just

1:04:02

torturing him. It's just, and

1:04:04

I go, you shouldn't fucking tell me

1:04:07

that. Oh my God,

1:04:09

he shouldn't have told you that. I know.

1:04:11

And now you're walking through the streets thinking

1:04:13

everybody stares and is like, that fucking loser.

1:04:16

Look at him. That's

1:04:18

the problem with having that kind of a

1:04:20

platform. But

1:04:25

I'm better now, my depression has

1:04:27

never been better. What'd

1:04:29

you do different? I

1:04:31

got way more disciplined about working out. You

1:04:33

can probably see it. Look

1:04:37

at that. Guns. Guns,

1:04:39

I'm doing yoga, I'm doing...

1:04:42

Well, they say that that is 1.25 times more effective than

1:04:47

SSRIs. Yeah. Regular exercise.

1:04:49

Yeah, regular exercise, I meditate, just

1:04:51

meditated before I came here every

1:04:53

day. I think that's 90%

1:04:55

of what's wrong with people. I know that

1:04:57

it's such a meat head perspective, but

1:05:00

I think everybody should do something

1:05:02

physical. I think we have requirements.

1:05:04

I know you don't wanna do it, but

1:05:07

I think we have requirements, just like you have

1:05:09

to brush your teeth, just like you have to

1:05:11

eat food, just like you have to take vitamins.

1:05:13

I think we have requirements. I think you have

1:05:15

requirements to move or it fucks with your head.

1:05:18

And gym class used to be intense

1:05:20

at school. Oh yeah. Used to have

1:05:22

a fucking locker and shower after third

1:05:24

period because they just made you

1:05:26

run like an army obstacle course

1:05:28

and do pushups and jumping jacks.

1:05:30

We played dodge ball. Yeah, yeah.

1:05:32

We grew up with dodge ball,

1:05:34

which was crazy. You

1:05:37

were whipping balls into people's faces. Your

1:05:39

heart was racing. Yeah, dude, and you're

1:05:41

chasing people with the ball, and if

1:05:43

you catch some kid who fucking stumbles,

1:05:46

he's getting it right in the face, right?

1:05:50

That game was nuts. And it was co-ed and the girls

1:05:52

went down fast. Horrible. You see the

1:05:54

big red welt on the side

1:05:56

of the leg? Yeah. The Irish girl with the

1:05:59

pale skin? It was horrible. She

1:06:01

got varicose veins on her neck to this

1:06:03

day. Yeah, there's some people that were really

1:06:06

good at throwing that fucking dodgeball too. That

1:06:08

shit was terrifying. Yeah, those kids with the

1:06:10

long arms. And they got rid of that.

1:06:12

They got rid of that. But dude, we used

1:06:15

to run laps. Oh yeah. We used to fucking

1:06:17

run laps and then you felt good and you

1:06:19

went back to class. I taught my kids, their

1:06:21

gym classes weren't shit. They didn't have to do

1:06:23

anything. The hardest thing I ever did when

1:06:25

I was a kid was wrestling. I

1:06:27

did one year of wrestling and it

1:06:29

was, but I couldn't do both that and

1:06:32

Tyke Wendell at the same time. It

1:06:34

was just too much. And I had to make a decision. And

1:06:37

so I picked Tyke Wendell mostly because it's easier.

1:06:41

It was way easier. The

1:06:43

training for wrestling was so hard that I

1:06:45

would be like in school, I'd be like, my

1:06:47

brain was like half on. I was just

1:06:49

thinking, oh my God, we're going to have

1:06:51

to run stairs tonight. Oh my God, we're going

1:06:54

to have to do live drills. And

1:06:56

firemen's carry each other up the

1:06:59

fucking stadium stairs. There's no tougher

1:07:01

training, man. Wrestling is brutal.

1:07:03

But my son, he was having trouble when he

1:07:05

was in preschool. He

1:07:09

was biting kids. He was like crazy. And so

1:07:11

the teacher said, there's this place

1:07:13

called Marina Tyke Wendell in Venice, great

1:07:16

program for kids. So he started in preschool

1:07:18

and he went all the way through eighth

1:07:20

grade. He got his black belt, his

1:07:23

junior black belt, and it changed him.

1:07:25

Fucking changed him. He was disciplined, he calmed

1:07:27

him down. He used to go like three or four days

1:07:29

a week. Yeah, I think it

1:07:31

sounds crazy, but I think it's a

1:07:33

requirement for kids to do something physical

1:07:36

and really would help if

1:07:38

you did something scary, like a martial art.

1:07:41

It's just good for developing your brain and

1:07:43

developing your ability to do difficult things. When

1:07:46

he got his black, I don't know if they always do this, but

1:07:48

when he got his black belt, he had to do certain, what do

1:07:51

they call them? Kata's?

1:07:53

Is that the... Kata's a Japanese word.

1:07:56

Yeah, he was, I think he did

1:07:58

just Kata's and then he had to break some boards. and

1:08:00

then he had to do whatever and

1:08:02

then he had to fight two black

1:08:04

belts like at the same

1:08:06

time and he had to Go like three rounds

1:08:09

at the same time. They fucking sicked him on

1:08:11

him and Mr. Joe

1:08:13

Keith Jones shout out and it

1:08:15

was tough and he came out and he started crying

1:08:17

and Mr. Jones sat him down he

1:08:19

goes you're gonna get back in there You're gonna finish

1:08:22

this and he went in and he wiped his tears

1:08:24

and he fucking finished and then he got his

1:08:26

black belt Yeah, how old

1:08:28

was he? We're starting kindergartens.

1:08:30

This would have been in like, I don't know sixth or

1:08:32

seventh grade It's kind of crazy

1:08:34

to give a kid a black belt. Yeah

1:08:36

little kids. Yeah, cuz it's not real. Yeah

1:08:40

You know, it's like different

1:08:42

schools have different requirements and different belief systems

1:08:44

when it comes to that but somewhere

1:08:47

along the line That's

1:08:50

where the term McDowjo comes from Oh

1:08:52

somewhere along the line they developed these

1:08:54

strip mall karate places It was in

1:08:57

a strip mall that would They

1:09:00

would graduate children all the way up

1:09:02

to black belt and they would

1:09:04

also they made it

1:09:06

real easy for you to do it

1:09:08

where you didn't spar and They

1:09:11

do started doing a bunch of stuff to make

1:09:13

it less realistic, but less Attrition

1:09:16

so less people quit and so they make more money I

1:09:18

say and so like some of these schools that have hundreds

1:09:20

and hundreds of students They'd be making bank and then there

1:09:22

was like there was like a place called Fred Valaris When

1:09:25

I was living in Boston and Fred Valaris

1:09:27

was a karate. It was a chain

1:09:29

They were they were all over the place But

1:09:32

the people that came out of there

1:09:34

if they had to fight They'd

1:09:37

be maybe some of them will be good, but

1:09:39

it's not the best place to learn. It's

1:09:41

a McDowjo Yeah, you know, it's well

1:09:43

they taught you karate, but yeah,

1:09:46

you gotta do it in a real place You

1:09:48

got to do it in a fucking real place

1:09:50

with real savages Yeah, the only way you're gonna

1:09:52

get good at it, right? You gotta get to

1:09:54

a real scary place where there's a bunch of

1:09:56

people and they're fucking sweating and kicking the bag

1:09:59

and you gotta That's where you got to go, but

1:10:01

I do think there is something to giving a kid

1:10:03

a goal Like you're gonna get your blue belt. Yeah

1:10:06

train for that. Yes, you're gonna get your red You're

1:10:08

black belt's not a bad thing to call it. Yeah,

1:10:10

as long as you're calling it a junior black. Yeah

1:10:12

It's like you were not a man yet. You don't

1:10:14

really have the ability to hurt people You know, most

1:10:16

people don't really have the ability to hurt people until

1:10:18

they're like 15 16 17 Then

1:10:21

you can really hurt people and it comes quick. It

1:10:23

goes from you being a boy, right when you're 12 years

1:10:25

old You are a boy

1:10:29

When I was 15, I was fighting men So

1:10:32

from 12 to 15. Yeah, so

1:10:34

when I was 15 My instructor

1:10:36

was crazy and he would he would

1:10:38

put you in like you were young

1:10:41

teenagers He

1:10:43

would put you in tournaments in men's tournaments 18 and

1:10:46

over Yeah, just say you're

1:10:48

18. They just put you right in there. Oh

1:10:50

my god. It was terrifying terrifying

1:10:53

So you go from not being able to hurt

1:10:55

people to knock and grow men unconscious in a

1:10:58

Short period of time it was the first time I

1:11:00

knocked a grown man unconscious. I was 16 years

1:11:03

old I had kicked this

1:11:05

dude knocked him unconscious and I was like

1:11:07

this is crazy. Was that he was snoring?

1:11:09

Yes, 100% Yeah, it was full

1:11:11

contact. He was snoring and

1:11:14

I was like, this is nuts and

1:11:16

I was 16. Yeah, I was like this is crazy so

1:11:20

That's like a real black. I was a black belt when

1:11:22

I was 17. That's but it was a real black belt

1:11:24

I was fighting black belts. I

1:11:26

can hurt you. You can't really hurt anybody

1:11:28

when you're 12 Yeah, but that's what's so

1:11:30

nuts in five years You

1:11:33

become a fucking machine in five years five years

1:11:35

ago. I've been here for four years I've been

1:11:37

living here for four years. Nothing's changed. I'm exactly

1:11:39

the same person. Yeah, but from 12 to 17

1:11:43

You're a different fucking human being. Yeah,

1:11:46

and also when the fear of being Physically

1:11:48

hurt. Yeah driving you to push

1:11:51

yourself to be better. Yes, that's

1:11:53

real. Yes Yeah,

1:11:55

well, it's also You

1:11:57

don't have your responsibilities. You have nothing to

1:11:59

do you have hormones for the first time

1:12:02

in your life. So you have all this

1:12:04

fucking energy and this fucking rawr. And

1:12:07

your whole day you can just

1:12:09

dedicate to this crazy thing and

1:12:11

go around kicking people and learning

1:12:13

something and getting better at something where everybody

1:12:16

else is listening to Led Zeppelin,

1:12:18

smoking cigarettes and trying to figure out if they're

1:12:20

gonna go to college. And you're

1:12:22

out there doing something nuts. Yeah, my

1:12:24

nephew Rowan, he grew up in South Africa

1:12:27

and he was like, had every letter, ADHD,

1:12:29

whatever, he

1:12:32

had it all. And he was

1:12:34

the number one most, he got the

1:12:36

record at his school for the most

1:12:38

detentions. They kept track and they gave

1:12:40

him an award. And then

1:12:42

he found rugby when he was like 14, he

1:12:45

started doing rugby hard and he's a big

1:12:47

thick kid. And he became an animal

1:12:49

and it straightened him out. Right

1:12:52

now he's at Columbia University. He

1:12:55

went out for the Green Berets,

1:12:58

no, the Navy Seals. Have you seen? And he

1:13:00

just missed it. He made it all the way

1:13:02

to Hell Week and then got dropped from the

1:13:04

program. That's crazy. But because he was in the

1:13:06

Navy, they gave him a full ride to Columbia.

1:13:09

They pay him to go to school at Columbia. I

1:13:12

guess it's the GI Bill, is that what they call

1:13:14

it? Probably. Something

1:13:16

like that. Yeah. Yeah,

1:13:19

I think putting a kid who's got some, because

1:13:21

you get anger. When you have all these learning

1:13:24

disabilities, you get very angry. Oh yeah.

1:13:27

Because you're not fitting in, you're not doing as well,

1:13:29

you're trying your hardest and you're coming up short and

1:13:31

you get fucking angry and you need something to focus

1:13:33

that on. I think all kids need something

1:13:35

to focus. They just need

1:13:38

something, it's too easy to just be lazy

1:13:40

and, bro, my life is terrible. Because you're

1:13:42

not doing anything. You're not getting excited. You

1:13:45

do stuff. How many kids were

1:13:47

depressed in the 1920s? They were

1:13:49

only depressed when they were starving. They were

1:13:51

running around. I think the whole country was depressed.

1:13:53

It was the depression. Exactly. Oh,

1:13:56

that was the 30s, yeah. Let's go with the teens.

1:14:00

This was the depression, right? So the roaring

1:14:02

20s was before the depression. Everything was going

1:14:04

pretty good. Pretty good. But they were

1:14:06

ruthless. We

1:14:08

call bullying, it was like normal life. Everybody

1:14:12

was fucking horrible to each other. Well, because they

1:14:14

were recent immigrants and they were fighting for turf,

1:14:16

they were fighting for jobs, the Irish and the

1:14:18

Italians were fucking fighting each other. They didn't eat

1:14:20

any food. Yeah. Yeah, they weren't exactly sure they

1:14:22

were going to get food. And they had 11

1:14:24

brothers and sisters. So they were fighting at home

1:14:26

before they even left the house. Yeah,

1:14:28

and good luck getting something that has a vitamin in it

1:14:30

in the winter. Everybody's

1:14:34

malnourished. They were horribly

1:14:36

malnourished. If you lived in the city in

1:14:38

the 1920s and it was fucking

1:14:40

30 below zero out, there's nothing coming in or

1:14:42

out. You ain't getting no tomatoes. Where

1:14:45

are those coming from? You're going to get a

1:14:47

horse to drag those from New Jersey? Like, what

1:14:49

are you talking about? Yeah. There's no food here.

1:14:51

Cabbage. That was your only vegetable. You got canned

1:14:53

food. You ate canned food for six months. Yeah.

1:14:56

Back before shipping, just

1:14:59

think how nuts it must have been

1:15:01

to live in a city before there

1:15:03

were any trucks. Yeah. You

1:15:05

had the Iceman. Every

1:15:07

couple days, an Iceman would come to your

1:15:09

house and put it in your box. That's

1:15:12

what the Icehouse in Pasadena was. Oh, no

1:15:14

shit. Yes. Wow. Before the

1:15:16

Icehouse was a rock and roll club. I think it was

1:15:18

briefly a rock and roll club, then it became a comedy

1:15:20

club. It is the oldest running comedy club in the country.

1:15:22

Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. The Icehouse is the oldest.

1:15:26

The Icehouse, before it was any of those things,

1:15:28

was a place that would store giant blocks of

1:15:30

ice. Oh. So you'd go and get a chunk

1:15:32

of ice. They would take some ice from fucking

1:15:34

Greenland or some shit. They

1:15:37

weren't even making it. How did they even keep that

1:15:39

thing cold? I know. And they got

1:15:41

it to America. Crazy.

1:15:43

Chunks of ice, and they would get it to

1:15:45

the cities. You can get it in the

1:15:47

July. They'd get you a chunk of ice. How?

1:15:52

The Iceman coming. How much loss did they have

1:15:55

in ice? How big does ice have to be

1:15:57

when you start? And how heavy is

1:15:59

that shit? Oh my god, if

1:16:01

you got a truck filled with ice,

1:16:03

okay, like what year did they start bringing ice

1:16:06

around? Let's find that out Yeah,

1:16:08

like what year did that become a thing because you know,

1:16:10

it wasn't a thing it for like during the pioneers days

1:16:12

There wasn't an ice truck that would show up. There's no

1:16:14

way to get the fucking ice You

1:16:16

know when those people were trying to make their way across the

1:16:18

country no ice. I'm gonna guess I

1:16:26

Think it's got to be after trucks I

1:16:29

think it has to be because you got to get it around so

1:16:31

you can't just put it on a train when

1:16:33

a truck start 1920

1:16:37

I'm watching Peaky Blinders and as the years go

1:16:40

on their cars get better. Yeah, it's

1:16:42

interesting You know because it's kind of historically

1:16:44

accurate in terms of the cars they were

1:16:46

driving at the time Uh-huh, it's really interesting

1:16:48

because in the beginning they just like a

1:16:50

bikini top over this shitbox little fucking Little

1:16:53

rattle machine. Yeah at the end. They have

1:16:55

like Bentley's. Yeah, and they closed

1:16:58

the door and it's luxurious inside and yeah

1:17:00

You know, but I would say

1:17:03

trucking Probably early 1900s. What do we got?

1:17:05

I want to say like 1910. So what year was the first ice

1:17:07

delivery? In

1:17:13

which country in America? When did they

1:17:15

start delivering ice Oh Scandinavia? I

1:17:18

think they brought the practice over from England because it

1:17:21

says it started in England in the 1600s, right? Right,

1:17:24

but I'm saying when did when were they able to

1:17:26

do it in America because you know

1:17:28

Even if they do it in England the 1600s you

1:17:31

probably get a fucking

1:17:33

cart Dragged by horses

1:17:35

from the mountain like how far away

1:17:37

is their ice? Sounds like they

1:17:39

grabbed it from lakes here in

1:17:41

America Yeah, because it was our major part

1:17:44

of the early economy in England and

1:17:46

the United States So fortunes made by people

1:17:48

who transported ice and straw pack ships to

1:17:50

the southern states and throughout the Caribbean

1:17:53

Oh, so they only did in the winter. I Guess

1:17:56

yeah, you just get it from Canada. Well now long and

1:17:58

keep ice if you have like a year a Yeti cooler,

1:18:01

you can keep ice for about seven days. And

1:18:03

that's in the summer. It's pretty amazing. I'd like

1:18:05

to write a book about the history of ice.

1:18:07

Because those big thick ass coolers, like a Yeti

1:18:09

cooler that you would take camping, you

1:18:11

can get, those are amazing. You can

1:18:14

keep ice for seven, eight, nine days,

1:18:16

which is nuts. And if

1:18:18

you take a Yeti and you take

1:18:20

a milk jug, fill with water and freeze

1:18:22

that and put a bunch of them in

1:18:25

there, it'll stay cold forever. It'll

1:18:27

stay cold for so long, you got large block of ice

1:18:29

like that. This is it from the 70s, but

1:18:31

this is just like ice extraction. Oh,

1:18:34

this might not be them selling ice. This looks like

1:18:36

these guys are gonna die. Yeah,

1:18:38

they got axes on the edge of the

1:18:40

water. That does not seem that thick. Take

1:18:42

your ice and you put it in an

1:18:44

ice box. Ice box used in

1:18:46

cafes of Paris in the late 1800s. Wow.

1:18:50

Some box to store ice. So how did they get the ice to

1:18:52

them? Well,

1:18:54

this is- Look at the first recorded

1:18:56

use of refrigeration technology dates back to

1:18:58

1775 BC in the Sumerian city of

1:19:00

Turquoise. So I asked which country, because

1:19:02

this goes back further than England. It

1:19:04

goes all the way back to, yeah,

1:19:07

seven, same time. Same time. Well,

1:19:09

this is the same story. Because that's

1:19:11

cuneiform. That's exactly the same story. It's

1:19:14

Mesopotamia, the same country. Ice pits.

1:19:17

Ice pits from the seventh century BCE.

1:19:21

Wow. All of them in the

1:19:23

great storage snow and pits that they dug

1:19:25

for that purpose. Wow. Straw

1:19:27

covered pits. So they recognized that they

1:19:30

could kind of insulate it. You'd sell

1:19:32

it at a snow shop. Wow.

1:19:35

Ice that formed the bottom of the pit sold at a higher

1:19:37

price than the snow on top. Oh

1:19:39

yeah, more expensive for ice. Because it didn't have piss

1:19:41

in it. That's

1:19:44

the delineating factor. How many of you guys piss in

1:19:47

that pit? At

1:19:50

least one. Yeah. The

1:19:52

French are serving up some chocolate ice cream. Did you mean

1:19:55

this to be chocolate? At least

1:19:57

one guy pissed in there. Yeah. For

1:19:59

sure. Yeah. and hell nobody pissed in there. Not

1:20:02

a chance in hell. Do you eat snow?

1:20:04

Like when you go out hunting

1:20:06

in the... You can eat snow. I

1:20:09

mean, you're gonna have a certain amount of pollution

1:20:11

depending on where you are. You're

1:20:13

eating what's in the air. It's

1:20:16

amazing how bad it gets in New York in

1:20:18

the winter, how fast that shit falls in an

1:20:20

hour later, it's gray. Well, in New York you

1:20:23

have a lot of things going on. And one

1:20:25

of the things that people don't take into consideration

1:20:27

is brake dust. You have a lot of brake

1:20:29

dust. So you have all these cars that are

1:20:31

constantly doing stop and go traffic. So the brake

1:20:33

dust in the air, it's pretty

1:20:36

significant. That shit that you get in the inside

1:20:38

of your wheels, your car wheels, and you

1:20:40

have to clean off that black stuff, that's brake dust.

1:20:42

So that's spraying out from every car in the 405.

1:20:45

So like when you're riding your bike,

1:20:48

I'm being healthy. You like literally breathing

1:20:50

in brake dust, you fucking psychopath. Just,

1:20:54

no filter, taking it right in the face. Looks

1:20:56

like, is that Central Park? Or something

1:20:58

close to it? It says it was the first one

1:21:00

in the United States, the first ice pit. Ice

1:21:03

pit. And then it's 13 feet in diameter and

1:21:05

18 feet deep. Many times of

1:21:07

ice were cut from a nearby river in

1:21:09

the winter transported by wagon to the ice

1:21:11

house, deposited into the ice pits. The blocks

1:21:13

of ice fused into one giant mass. Gravel

1:21:16

at the bottom of the pit drained water

1:21:18

from the melting and the thick stone walls

1:21:21

and straw insulation minimized heat loss from the

1:21:23

ice house above. Morris claimed he was able

1:21:25

to preserve ice from one winter to the

1:21:27

following October or November. Wow. Wow.

1:21:31

That's crazy. So

1:21:33

utilizing the 54 degree

1:21:35

constant temperature underground, people have been storing

1:21:37

ice in caves and pits since at

1:21:40

least the Roman times. That's

1:21:42

pretty dope. Oh, look at this, it

1:21:44

relied on a natural phenomenon, but also

1:21:47

an overwhelming mass of ice, good drainage,

1:21:49

and the super insulation of the building

1:21:51

above the ice pit to provide refrigeration

1:21:53

through hot Philadelphia summers. Pretty

1:21:56

fucking dope. fun

1:24:00

though. Yeah, I like Korean barbecue. Yeah, that's fun.

1:24:02

Yeah, but you know what you're getting into when

1:24:04

you get there. It's not one dish that you

1:24:06

have to cook for yourself. Yeah. It's the whole

1:24:08

experience. That's fine. Yeah. I know what I'm getting into.

1:24:10

But if I go to a restaurant and you give

1:24:12

me a hot rock and like here's your meat,

1:24:14

that's the hot rock, cook it on the rock. What

1:24:17

the fuck are we doing here? But people love it.

1:24:19

Like, you know, I'm cooking myself. Look, should I

1:24:21

flip it now? Should I wait? When do I flip

1:24:23

it? Yeah. And

1:24:26

then you got to go to the salad bar. I

1:24:28

got to walk to get my salad. Well,

1:24:31

that's Brazilian steakhouses. That's the

1:24:34

sneaky move they have is all you can

1:24:36

eat. Everything's all you can eat, but the

1:24:38

salad bar is too. So before you eat,

1:24:40

you go to the salad bar and you're

1:24:42

eating fucking artichoke hearts and cheese and this.

1:24:45

And then they come by with as much

1:24:47

meat as you possibly can eat. And

1:24:50

then you have a card. You flip it. If

1:24:52

it's green on top, they keep coming by with different

1:24:54

meat. And when it's red, you tap out. I

1:24:56

remember that we went to one of those places in

1:24:59

Vegas was Fogo de Chão. Fogo de Chão. Yeah.

1:25:01

Yeah. Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah. Because you just start

1:25:03

eating. Like you don't have to wait for the

1:25:05

food to get, like the worst is when you're really

1:25:07

hungry and you're in a slow restaurant. You're like, Oh

1:25:09

my God, this is killing me. Yeah. But if you

1:25:11

go to a place like Fogo de Chão, that

1:25:13

food's coming right at you. You could

1:25:16

be stuffed in 10 minutes. All different

1:25:18

cuts. Yeah. That's

1:25:21

when you got to take a little walk. Yeah. I've never

1:25:23

seen anybody go harder than

1:25:25

Ari at Fogo de Chão.

1:25:28

It is insane how much he eats

1:25:30

there. Yeah. Insane. And I

1:25:32

go, why? He goes, it's a Jewish thing. Free food. I go,

1:25:34

are you serious? He goes, yeah, that's all I can eat.

1:25:37

I can just keep eating. I go, you're kidding. He's like,

1:25:39

no, not kidding. I can

1:25:41

keep eating. Doesn't

1:25:43

cost any more

1:25:45

money. That's awesome. He's

1:25:47

so funny with it. But he's shameless.

1:25:50

Yeah. Shameless. What are the lamb chops?

1:25:53

Yeah. Bring them over. Yeah. I thought I could keep

1:25:55

up with them. I could not keep up with them. I

1:25:57

was in South Africa one time and we were at

1:25:59

the... Yeah

1:28:03

Mmm, okay,

1:28:05

giraffe camel opera Alice

1:28:09

No Camelopard

1:28:12

Dallas camel opera Dallas. Oh fuck

1:28:14

that last word. How's

1:28:16

that one go? tipple stick giraffes

1:28:20

get part of their Latin name camel

1:28:22

opera camel opera Dallas from the long

1:28:24

camel like necks and leopard like spots

1:28:26

But they are more closely related to

1:28:29

Ocapies rather than camels or

1:28:31

leopards, so they're not related to

1:28:33

camels. Oh Look

1:28:37

at that fucking thing. Oh, we've seen those before

1:28:40

looks like a Like a

1:28:42

zebra fucked a deer

1:28:44

or something doesn't it? It's like with the

1:28:46

bottom half is one animal and the top

1:28:48

half is another and beautiful though I

1:28:51

don't know how you're in a draft. How do you mix

1:28:53

with a giraffe because how do you fuck it? Well,

1:28:56

you're another another giraffe. Yeah. Yeah, that's why

1:28:58

they don't make sure I fucking yeah I

1:29:01

don't think anybody fucks the giraffe the giraffe has to

1:29:03

do the fucking this to decide. Yeah, I'm gonna get

1:29:05

down there. That's right Yeah,

1:29:09

you know trees like the

1:29:11

acacia tree when giraffes

1:29:13

eat them all

1:29:15

the trees that are downwind Recognize

1:29:18

that a tree upwind is being eaten

1:29:20

by giraffes. And so it changes its

1:29:22

flavor profile It

1:29:24

starts releasing these phytochemicals. It makes it

1:29:26

taste like shit. No shit Yeah, there's

1:29:28

an antelope the closest living relative to

1:29:30

a giraffe. Okay, so there's an antelope

1:29:32

species the weirdest antelope is

1:29:35

the one that we have in America because we

1:29:37

have a Jurassic animal

1:29:39

in America the pronghorn antelope. It's

1:29:41

not any animal in North America

1:29:43

It's literally an animal

1:29:46

that was a part of the giant

1:29:48

group of animals that lived in North

1:29:50

America Like 65,000 years

1:29:52

ago, but it's one of the rare ones. It's still

1:29:55

here because it evolved to get

1:29:57

away from a North American cheetah Yeah,

1:29:59

so it's It runs way faster than

1:30:02

anything nothing can catch those. Wow you

1:30:04

ever seen them now prong horns They're

1:30:06

cool as shit look yeah, they but you see him when

1:30:08

you be it That's not a good picture though you

1:30:11

want like a picture of the males

1:30:13

just pull up prong horn Antelope the

1:30:16

males have these crazy horns and

1:30:18

these eyes that can see like probably

1:30:22

all Almost

1:30:24

to the entire back of like behind their

1:30:27

ears. They have a crazy and a vision

1:30:29

Yeah, it's like a deer size. Uh-huh. I've

1:30:31

seen them in the wild. They're really cool.

1:30:33

Look. I've seen them you know They're full

1:30:36

really cool looking, but when you see them

1:30:38

run you realize like oh, this

1:30:41

is not from around here They

1:30:43

run so much faster than anything else

1:30:46

so like mountain lions Coyotes

1:30:48

good luck bitch. You're not catching that

1:30:50

guy that guy's Fucking

1:30:52

insanely fast see if you can find a video

1:30:54

of one running So

1:30:58

it says born to race cheetahs So

1:31:01

there was like 65% of

1:31:04

North American megafauna was

1:31:07

killed off somewhere around 10,000

1:31:09

years ago and These

1:31:12

motherfuckers made it But they're

1:31:14

a part of that old group that it

1:31:16

included like the North American lion North American

1:31:19

cheetahs There was a bunch of crazy shit

1:31:21

that was here just you know 15,000

1:31:24

years. Yeah, right crazy shit, dude There was

1:31:26

a lion that lived here that's bigger than

1:31:28

the African line like the biggest lion ever

1:31:30

was in North America No shit. Yeah, we

1:31:32

had a crazy big lion here That's

1:31:36

what it makes sense though, right if you think about all the

1:31:39

buffalo You'd probably like there'd

1:31:41

probably be a cat big enough to kill

1:31:43

that thing Yeah, you know some giant-ass lion.

1:31:45

All right way bigger than the African lions.

1:31:47

Yeah, I just saw a

1:31:50

video on the Internet of sloths

1:31:53

Having sex. How was

1:31:55

it? Well, it was as as exciting as you

1:31:57

would think it was like first of all like

1:32:00

the mating call, like the female was like

1:32:02

a mile away and it was like this

1:32:04

little, like this little, and

1:32:06

he just perks up. He goes racing down the

1:32:09

tree, which takes like a day, and

1:32:11

then he has to go through these like crock

1:32:14

infested waters and

1:32:16

he just keeps hearing the noise, he keeps going

1:32:18

and he gets the other side and he climbs

1:32:21

up the tree. There's another male, they like go

1:32:23

to battle. There's like a sloth battle with their

1:32:25

three little claws. And

1:32:27

then the guy gets to the top and

1:32:29

he and the females there and he gets on top of her and

1:32:32

it's just like one stroke,

1:32:35

done. That was the whole thing.

1:32:37

Wow. Like think about how horny

1:32:39

those fuckers are like, like

1:32:42

the average married couple, like what

1:32:44

does it take to get

1:32:46

laid? You just, you

1:32:48

just got to listen to your wife for a little

1:32:51

while. Yeah, how was your day? And just listen and

1:32:53

you're in and even then men are like, I don't

1:32:55

know. That's just, it's a lot

1:32:57

to ask. But just imagine having

1:33:01

this strange urge

1:33:03

to go where that sound is

1:33:05

and not having any reference. Like

1:33:08

the first time it happens to you, right? Say you're

1:33:10

sloth, you're two, you get your first

1:33:12

heart on, like this is crazy. And then you

1:33:14

hear, why

1:33:17

do I need to go towards that sound? Like you

1:33:19

don't even know what you're doing. You have no idea

1:33:21

why you're going there. Yeah. Right. If the sloth has

1:33:23

never been laid before, it has

1:33:25

no idea. Yeah. Why am I being drawn

1:33:28

to this sound? Why is this smell? It's

1:33:30

all just instincts. Mm hmm. And

1:33:33

that's the noise. Yeah.

1:33:37

He's like, I'm

1:33:39

getting some. Is

1:33:41

that all the sloth? What

1:33:44

was that one sound, the sloth? Oh,

1:33:50

there it is. Oh, that's pretty loud.

1:33:52

Yeah. That's the signal for Dick. Yeah.

1:33:55

And then, but the amazing

1:33:58

thing is like, when you think about that,

1:34:00

drives animals, us being animals, to do the

1:34:02

things we do. I was thinking about this

1:34:04

when I watched this law thing. All

1:34:07

the things that gratify us, that nature

1:34:09

has taught us to procreate in order

1:34:11

to, whether it's eat, your

1:34:13

stomach hurts, and

1:34:16

the joy of the taste of food,

1:34:18

all these things that are built into

1:34:21

us as animals that keep us procreating,

1:34:23

the fucking, even like you got an

1:34:25

itch, and you take your nails, and

1:34:27

you scratch it, well, there was probably

1:34:30

a reason, because there used to be

1:34:32

bugs embedded in your skin, or dry

1:34:34

skin, or like everything that we do

1:34:36

is somehow built into rewards and punishments

1:34:39

that are unconscious to us. Yeah.

1:34:43

You know, and are they gonna be able to, can

1:34:47

you program that into people

1:34:49

eventually? Yeah, 100%. To alter

1:34:51

behavior? Not just that,

1:34:53

to eliminate all the things that

1:34:55

make us human, unfortunately. Like,

1:34:58

you want the good with the bad? Or

1:35:01

do you, what do you want? Like, because the

1:35:03

only way to have the good is get appreciate

1:35:06

that it's good, and how do you appreciate

1:35:08

it? Because you've experienced bad. If you only

1:35:10

get good, you get a spoiled rich kid, and they're

1:35:12

a nightmare. Or you get Joffrey,

1:35:15

the king, you know? That's

1:35:17

what you get, right? No

1:35:19

adversity, all the power in the world, terrible

1:35:21

for everybody, right? So, it's

1:35:24

like, you gotta have some down. It's

1:35:27

a part of the program. It's part of

1:35:29

the program of becoming a better person. Like,

1:35:32

you have experience, good, and, I think even

1:35:34

in the world, unfortunately, we have to see

1:35:36

evil to recognize that people are capable of

1:35:38

evil, to really understand what

1:35:40

kind of game are we playing here?

1:35:42

Especially when it comes to international conflicts.

1:35:44

Especially ones that don't have any day-to-day

1:35:47

effect on your life here in America, whether

1:35:49

you support them or you don't support them.

1:35:51

Like, it's not affecting you,

1:35:53

right? But it's somewhere, if you were

1:35:55

there, if you were

1:35:58

in Yemen and you watched

1:36:00

those fucking... drones launch hellfire

1:36:02

missiles into this wedding

1:36:04

party. You would recognize

1:36:07

there's a lot going on that's

1:36:10

evil. There's good and there's

1:36:12

evil and it's real and there's this weird

1:36:14

battle going on with human beings. And

1:36:16

I think that battle almost has to take

1:36:19

place to motivate people to

1:36:21

be better. You think that's

1:36:23

where there's war, cyclical war? There's

1:36:26

no reason why it should exist today. There's

1:36:28

no reason why as educated as we

1:36:31

are in history that we should be

1:36:33

willing as a people, as groups of

1:36:35

people to ever invade other

1:36:38

places to steal their resources. There's no

1:36:40

way we should be doing that. At

1:36:43

this point with the kind of communication

1:36:45

that human beings have with

1:36:47

each other around the world, there

1:36:49

should be a way to reasonably

1:36:51

communicate and share goods and ideas

1:36:53

and compete and

1:36:57

take part in each other's commerce. I

1:36:59

sell to you, you sell to me, everybody gets

1:37:02

along. This should be

1:37:04

totally doable in 2024. The

1:37:07

fact that it's not and that no one

1:37:09

thinks it's ever going to be is what's

1:37:11

terrifying about being a person because that's the

1:37:13

thing that keeps you up at night. The

1:37:15

thing like if one of these

1:37:18

fucking assholes, one of these greedy cocksuckers

1:37:20

that's under the boot of the military

1:37:22

industrial complex decides to push it a

1:37:24

little too far and someone decides to

1:37:26

shoot a nuke off. Then

1:37:28

we're in this new thing where cities could

1:37:31

just disappear. Not

1:37:33

just on September 11th where two buildings disappear and

1:37:35

a bunch of people died and it's a horrible

1:37:37

tragedy. No, no, no, the whole city gone. Boom.

1:37:40

One city down. Now shut the fuck

1:37:43

up or we'll bomb all your cities.

1:37:45

Now your power doesn't work anymore. Oh no. Where

1:37:48

do you get your ice? Well you

1:37:50

better go back to the old ways and get a fucking ice

1:37:52

pit because you don't have electricity anymore. That's

1:37:54

not hard to do. Someone could take

1:37:56

out our electrical grid pretty fucking easy. These.

1:38:00

assholes that are in charge of the

1:38:02

world in all countries that are still

1:38:04

playing this fucking game of Maybe

1:38:07

we'll kill you all. Yeah, it's like a

1:38:09

big game of chicken and there's no like

1:38:11

when we were kids I don't know

1:38:13

if this happened your school, but like we had drills

1:38:16

we had nuclear war drills like it

1:38:18

was a day-to-day Existential

1:38:20

worry that people didn't sleep because of

1:38:23

nukes those same fucking nukes

1:38:25

are Tenfold today in terms of

1:38:27

the arsenals and way more people have them

1:38:29

way more countries have them and there's way

1:38:31

more When you look at what's going

1:38:33

on in the Middle East like that is a fucking that

1:38:36

that is gonna explode at some point

1:38:38

And it's gonna happen fast because there's

1:38:40

all these Alliances where

1:38:42

if if one country does it eight

1:38:45

others are gonna do it the same day Peter

1:38:47

Tia was talking about that that it's the ultimate

1:38:49

dilemma when it comes to nuclear power because nuclear

1:38:51

power is more efficient than Other

1:38:53

power and it's actually greener. It's probably safer

1:38:55

for the environment Especially with the

1:38:57

kind of nuclear reactors are capable of bills

1:38:59

building and designing today But

1:39:02

they didn't realize that if you give someone nuclear

1:39:04

power, it's really easy to turn that into nuclear

1:39:06

weapons They thought it was a lot harder than

1:39:08

it was and they did it for India new

1:39:10

saying then they realized like India got the nuclear

1:39:13

weapon that's a go Okay,

1:39:15

so now we can't just give everybody nuclear power

1:39:17

because then you have everybody has nuclear weapons and

1:39:19

what if it's some fucking Warlord

1:39:22

who's on amphetamines in the middle of

1:39:24

the Congo and he decides he's gonna

1:39:26

nuke his neighbor Yeah, people can get

1:39:28

crazy. Yeah, especially if they have a lot

1:39:30

of money, you know, they're selling drugs or they're Kidnapping

1:39:34

people whatever they're doing. They got a lot of money and now they have

1:39:36

a nuclear weapon North Korea man

1:39:38

once North Korea has it. It's a fucking they

1:39:40

have it. Do they yes North

1:39:42

Korea has nukes. No shit Yeah, they

1:39:45

don't have the long-range delivery systems. They

1:39:47

say they do now Yeah, who knows

1:39:50

but they there was a famous Nuclear

1:39:53

bomb that went off that they kind of

1:39:55

denied in North Korea a while back What

1:39:58

was that they think? It might have been an

1:40:01

accident. It's hard

1:40:03

to tell, because North Korea is pretty

1:40:05

tight with their propaganda. But

1:40:07

I remember some nuclear detonation was detected

1:40:09

in the mountains, and they were trying to figure

1:40:11

out if it was on purpose or if it

1:40:14

was an underground thing. Because they do

1:40:16

underground nukes too, which is crazy.

1:40:19

Just may trigger an earthquake, but let's

1:40:21

find out. Let's just detonate a nuke

1:40:24

a mile under the surface of the Earth. Fucking

1:40:27

psychopath. They did it in Oklahoma, and

1:40:30

I guess it was like maybe the 50s or 60s. They

1:40:35

didn't tell people

1:40:37

to leave the neighboring towns. There's all these

1:40:39

people. The cancer rates were through the roof.

1:40:42

Here it

1:40:45

says, comprehensive test ban treaty has

1:40:47

been detected seismic activity in more

1:40:49

than two dozen stations around the

1:40:51

world, confirming that man-made explosions have

1:40:53

occurred near North Korea's nuclear testing

1:40:55

sites. For example, in 2016, the

1:40:57

CTBTO detected a 4.85 magnitude seismic event, which North Korea

1:41:04

claimed was a hydrogen bomb

1:41:06

test. In 2013, the CTBTO

1:41:08

detected a 4.9 magnitude seismic

1:41:10

event, which is about twice

1:41:12

as large as the 2006

1:41:14

test. They just

1:41:17

keep making them more powerful. What

1:41:20

magnitude was like Hiroshima? Look

1:41:22

at this one. In 2024, South

1:41:24

Korea's weather agency estimated that a nuclear

1:41:27

weapon blast yield was between 50

1:41:29

and 60 kilotons based on a magnitude

1:41:31

5.6 detection. The

1:41:34

South Korea's government initial estimate was

1:41:36

100 kilotons, and the

1:41:38

NORSAR seismology center estimate was

1:41:40

120 kilotons. It's

1:41:46

so crazy that a crazy person,

1:41:48

just some fucking maniac

1:41:51

dictator, has that. Like,

1:41:54

you could take, oh, you

1:41:56

fucked my cousin? Guess what? Yeah.

1:42:00

I'm gonna nuke your town. Or they

1:42:02

want a legacy. Hiroshima's only about

1:42:04

15 tons. So four

1:42:06

tons. Nagasaki's 25, holy shit. Isn't

1:42:09

it funny that Hiroshima gets all the credit, but meanwhile they

1:42:11

got the bitch ass bomb? That's right. One

1:42:14

was an atomic and one was a hydrogen, right? I

1:42:16

don't know, is that the truth? I think so. The

1:42:23

little boy. Is that the

1:42:25

big one? Is that the one that was on Hiroshima? So

1:42:28

little boy was Hiroshima and fat man

1:42:30

was Nagasaki. Wow.

1:42:35

Imagine you get your fucking, your

1:42:38

instructions. You're a fighter pilot and

1:42:41

that's what they tell you. Yeah. That's what

1:42:43

you're gonna do today? Right. What are we doing? You're

1:42:46

gonna be the guy. What do you mean? You're

1:42:48

gonna be the guy that drops the bomb. Yeah. What

1:42:51

bomb? We have a nuclear bomb.

1:42:53

Yeah. What does

1:42:55

that mean? Like what does this thing do? Well,

1:42:57

you're gonna drop it and then you gotta get the

1:42:59

fuck out of there. Right, right. Because the explosion. And

1:43:01

don't look back because it'll rip your eyeballs out. The

1:43:03

explosion. That might be my tea mug that you just

1:43:05

grabbed. Oh, was it that? I think

1:43:07

so. I just poured coffee in it, I'm

1:43:09

sorry. No, I'm done with it. I thought it was my coffee.

1:43:11

I'm onto coffee now. There's too

1:43:13

many mugs, I'm confused. I

1:43:16

was not seeing my mug because the microphone was like

1:43:18

perfectly shielding it. I was like, oh, that must be

1:43:20

my mug. There's a great

1:43:22

series on Netflix right now about the Cold

1:43:24

War. It's like three episodes, but it goes

1:43:27

through just

1:43:29

the espionage that went behind it

1:43:31

all and how the nuclear codes

1:43:33

got to Russia because was it

1:43:35

the, what was it? It was

1:43:37

the couple, the Rosenbergs. Oh, yeah.

1:43:40

And there was a few people that

1:43:42

basically got the information to Russia. And

1:43:44

then once that happened, everything fucking changed.

1:43:46

Like after World War II, basically in

1:43:48

World War II, we

1:43:51

bombed Japan, not because they weren't gonna

1:43:53

surrender. There was like, this is what

1:43:55

this documentary talks about, that there was

1:43:57

an end in sight, that they were,

1:44:00

they were. were crawling, they were on

1:44:02

their knees, but Russia had sent forces

1:44:04

into Japan as our allies

1:44:08

to help finish the war.

1:44:11

We didn't want them getting any of the

1:44:13

credit, so we bombed, while Russia was on

1:44:15

route, we bombed Japan.

1:44:19

So once we did that, Russia was

1:44:22

like, oh, it's on, fuck them. They

1:44:26

basically just, they realigned

1:44:28

their whole military, their whole budget.

1:44:31

Everything was about getting nukes after that happened.

1:44:36

Those bombs didn't need to be dropped. That's

1:44:38

so crazy. How complicated is that, too?

1:44:41

Because if they don't drop those bombs, we

1:44:43

know the bombs exist and no one's dropped

1:44:45

them. Would you think it would have been

1:44:48

worse if the world didn't see the horrors? You're probably right. Because

1:44:51

as they keep getting better and no one's dropped one

1:44:53

on anybody yet, and then they're talking shit, I'll fucking

1:44:55

do it, man. I'll be the first guy. I'll be

1:44:57

the first. If Hitler had a

1:44:59

nuke, you don't think he would have launched it? He's

1:45:04

cranked up on all kinds of fucking drugs.

1:45:06

They were shooting animal hormones into him. They

1:45:09

were experimenting on him. Oh, that's right. I heard

1:45:11

about that. That's this book. Yeah.

1:45:14

This book, Norman Oler. Norman Oler, I've sold your book

1:45:17

so many times. It's the craziest story. He was

1:45:19

in here explaining it all. Hitler

1:45:22

has this one doctor that he trusted. He didn't trust

1:45:24

the SS doctor because there was a lot of people

1:45:26

wanting to get rid of Hitler. There

1:45:28

was a lot of attempts on his life. This motherfucker

1:45:31

had one doctor that was giving him all the goods.

1:45:34

He was just out of his mind. If

1:45:37

you gave that guy a nuke at that time, 100% he's nuking

1:45:39

somebody. Of course.

1:45:43

What wouldn't he do? What was he not capable of?

1:45:45

Exactly. Exactly. I think

1:45:47

the same thing is true of Kim Jong Un right now. I

1:45:50

don't think he ... I don't think ... He was friends with

1:45:52

Trump. Trump over

1:45:54

shook his hand. They're pals. Yeah.

1:45:56

Seems like he just need a friend. His friend's with Dennis Rodman. Maybe

1:46:01

Dennis Rodman can be the official ombre.

1:46:03

Maybe if Trump wins, Dennis Rodman becomes

1:46:05

the official ombre and we fucking settle

1:46:07

things out. Smooth things over.

1:46:09

Imagine that. Imagine if that was how it

1:46:11

all worked out. Yeah, smooth things over. Yeah. Give

1:46:14

the people electricity. Dude, it's so mysterious.

1:46:16

When you hear about people that escape from North

1:46:18

Korea and they talk about how

1:46:20

literally it's the thought police. I just sent Jamie

1:46:22

something. It's so funny that we're talking about this.

1:46:25

I sent Jamie something this morning that I saw

1:46:27

where this guy has one of those crazy satellite

1:46:29

dishes in his backyard and he picks up a

1:46:31

channel from North Korea. So it's

1:46:33

a guy in Ontario and did

1:46:36

I send you a text message? Yeah, but that's

1:46:38

not what you sent me, so the wrong link

1:46:40

got copied. No way. You sent me

1:46:42

the football video. Step system. No, I sent

1:46:44

you something before that. No. I didn't?

1:46:47

Oh my God, I didn't. You

1:46:50

moron. What did I do? Did I save it?

1:46:54

God, I thought I sent it to you. I must

1:46:56

have accidentally sent somebody else. What did the North Korean

1:46:58

guy who picks up satellites? Yes. It's

1:47:00

an Ontario man picks up North Korean television.

1:47:03

Fuck, I thought I sent it to you. Fuck.

1:47:06

But he'll find it because it's becoming viral now

1:47:08

because it's really nuts. You need to see the

1:47:10

propaganda. So this guy just tunes in to this

1:47:12

broadcast of North Korea because he's got one of

1:47:14

them. Remember when people had those, this the guy,

1:47:17

they had those crazy dishes like that thing in their

1:47:19

backyard? Yeah. I remember a guy

1:47:21

had that. I thought that guy was a wizard. Like, look

1:47:23

at him, he's getting TV from Ireland. He's

1:47:28

watching snooker on the BBC. So

1:47:31

this dude tunes in to the North Korean

1:47:33

broadcast, like whatever it is that they broadcast

1:47:35

through North Korea. And it's all propaganda. And

1:47:38

Kim Jong Un is like literally people fall

1:47:40

down like he's the Beatles. Like when he

1:47:42

shows up. He shot a round of golf.

1:47:44

He shot a 27 in 18 holes. No,

1:47:46

that was his dad. That was his dad.

1:47:49

Look how people freak out and they see

1:47:51

him. Yeah. Yeah, he shot

1:47:53

like nine holes in one, right? Yeah.

1:47:55

If you don't react like that, the

1:47:58

police see you. Oh, yeah. fucking

1:48:00

gulag and they for

1:48:02

like five years. Yeah, you're fucked.

1:48:05

You better cheer. Yeah,

1:48:07

the power that he has is just

1:48:10

absolute. And then if they find out

1:48:12

that you have a relative

1:48:14

overseas that's bad mouthing North Korea, your

1:48:16

family gets put into a fucking camp.

1:48:18

Yeah, yeah, and not only that, it's

1:48:20

a generation after generation thing. Like the

1:48:22

children, if you have children in the

1:48:24

camp, they're punished as well. Yeah,

1:48:28

it's terrible. It's so mysterious

1:48:30

too. But he likes basketball. He does? Maybe

1:48:33

Dennis Rodman can choose it all over. Yeah, if

1:48:35

I had to pick one eloquent NBA star, it

1:48:37

would be Dennis Rodman. Dennis Rodman sent him over

1:48:40

there with a bowling bag filled with mushrooms. And

1:48:43

just those two get together, meet God, just

1:48:47

like he'd fix this thing. He'd take that nuke

1:48:49

like it was a fucking three point

1:48:51

shot, he'd just reach up, stop it. Well,

1:48:54

what he's gotta do before anything in

1:48:56

that country is let those people be free.

1:49:00

That is literally like a cult. It's

1:49:02

like a cult. The power that

1:49:04

that one guy has and

1:49:06

that government has over their people. Have you

1:49:09

ever seen Yonmi Park talk about her experiences

1:49:11

in North Korea? No. Oh, was

1:49:13

she on here? Yes. Oh yeah, I

1:49:15

did see that. She escaped North Korea when she was

1:49:18

13. Yeah, that was crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. It's

1:49:20

crazy. Dude, and it's going into China. China

1:49:23

uses, I don't

1:49:25

wanna say which supermarket chain because I don't

1:49:28

wanna malign somebody, but one of the major

1:49:30

supermarket chains, they have meat

1:49:33

processing plants where China

1:49:35

brings in North Korean

1:49:37

slaves. They are

1:49:39

kept in barracks with barbed wire

1:49:41

fences and they work for 12, 14

1:49:44

hours a day, seven days a week. And

1:49:47

they get paid like

1:49:49

a hundred bucks a month. And

1:49:52

then they come back to North Korea after

1:49:56

like four or five years and

1:49:58

their families get this little five. and tidbit

1:50:00

of money, but they don't have a choice because

1:50:03

North Korea picks what they think are the

1:50:06

best examples of what North Korea

1:50:08

is because they want to look good to

1:50:10

China and they send those people over and

1:50:13

they're held, they worked as slaves for years.

1:50:17

And the American companies are buying food

1:50:20

from these plants in China.

1:50:22

Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's an

1:50:24

article in The New Yorker about it. Well,

1:50:26

if we're buying things, I mean, that's

1:50:28

one of the weirdest parts about manufacturing

1:50:30

going away in America because

1:50:33

so many of the things that

1:50:36

we buy are from mysterious places.

1:50:39

When people found out about what was going

1:50:41

on at the Foxconn factories that were making

1:50:43

iPhones, that they had fences and nets all

1:50:45

set up around the roof to keep people

1:50:48

from jumping off because so many

1:50:50

people- Suicide nets? Oh yeah. You've

1:50:52

never seen it? No. Fuck.

1:50:55

Show those images. So instead of fixing it, they said,

1:50:57

you know, let's just make it harder to die. These

1:51:01

people, they just, they don't want

1:51:03

to work here. Does the net, do you bounce off the net

1:51:05

back into the factory? Look at those nets. That's

1:51:09

to stop suicide. That's

1:51:11

how to stop suicide. That's how many people were

1:51:13

trying to kill themselves because

1:51:17

you're working 16 hours a day, you sleep

1:51:19

there, they have dormitories. And

1:51:21

this is why your phone costs X

1:51:23

instead of Y. And if we

1:51:25

had American factories making all

1:51:27

these things, you wouldn't have that consideration. You would

1:51:30

know, oh, they have to buy regulations and everybody

1:51:32

has to deal with this. Well, and this doesn't

1:51:34

even factor in the African mines where they're pulling

1:51:36

up the, what's the metal thing? The

1:51:39

cobalt mines where they

1:51:41

send people into these mines that

1:51:43

are like a mile deep and

1:51:46

you maybe make it back up, maybe

1:51:48

you don't, the elevator sometimes stop working.

1:51:50

You go down there for like

1:51:52

two or three days at a time in

1:51:54

the blackness. Have

1:51:57

you ever seen a video of the Chinese

1:51:59

mine collapsing? Now, see if

1:52:02

you can find that. There's been a

1:52:04

few, but there's one really good video

1:52:06

of this collapse of this mine. It's

1:52:08

fucking terrifying. Yeah. It's terrifying, dude.

1:52:10

Because it's basically they're dicked, they dunk

1:52:12

into the whole side of this hill,

1:52:15

and then it just falls on them. Wow.

1:52:17

This massive amount of dirt and land

1:52:20

and the smoke and the dust, you're

1:52:22

like, oh my God, how many people

1:52:24

are dead? Just crushed to death

1:52:26

so that you can have an iPhone. Watch

1:52:28

this. Look at

1:52:30

this. Holy shit. Holy shit,

1:52:33

dude. Where is

1:52:35

this mine, Jamie? What did it seem to be in? Mongolia.

1:52:38

Mongolia. Where in Mongolia?

1:52:40

Fuck, dude. Fuck.

1:52:45

Mines are terrifying. Yeah. You

1:52:47

know, you hear noises like creak,

1:52:50

creak.

1:52:53

And you're like, get the fuck out of here, where'd

1:52:55

you go? Just get out of here. That was the

1:52:57

Irish we all came over, we all went into the

1:52:59

mines. Well, all the people in the Appalachia.

1:53:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do

1:53:05

you know why they say those people in

1:53:07

Appalachia are more violent? Why? Because

1:53:09

they come from hurting populations. I

1:53:12

think it was in, was it in sapiens,

1:53:14

or whose book was that in? Maybe

1:53:17

one of Malcolm Gladwell's books. But basically

1:53:19

they're saying that the reason why there's

1:53:21

more like, when they used to have

1:53:23

feuds, like the Hatfields and

1:53:25

the McCoys, that type of thing, and they would tell

1:53:27

those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that was sapiens.

1:53:29

Yeah. So the idea is that

1:53:31

these people who are farmers, well, it's very difficult

1:53:34

to steal all your corn. You know, you can't

1:53:36

steal all your corn. But you could steal someone's

1:53:38

sheep, all their sheep. And so if you're a

1:53:40

herder, you have to be on guard,

1:53:43

constantly, of thieves who come in and take

1:53:45

all your animals all at once. You have

1:53:47

to be super violent to protect your flock.

1:53:50

And those guys came over here with that

1:53:52

sort of attitude. Huh. Yeah.

1:53:55

That's funny, because you think of like, the shepherd

1:53:57

is this like kind of archetypal figure. this

1:54:00

guy who's just kind of laying back with

1:54:02

a piece of hayseed in his mouth, chilling

1:54:04

out, but now they're warriors. You have

1:54:06

to be. Yeah. Because

1:54:08

you'll lose all your food. Yeah. Like

1:54:10

if your family relies on those sheep, you have 20

1:54:13

sheep and you got to follow them and graze with

1:54:15

them. You have to bed down with them. Yeah. If

1:54:18

someone comes along and tries to... That's why cattle rustlers,

1:54:20

they would kill them. They would kill horse rustlers. People

1:54:22

stole horses and cows, but in the old West, it was one

1:54:25

of the worst things you could do. You

1:54:27

steal a man's horse, they'll fucking kill... You steal a car

1:54:29

today, you got a slap on the wrist. There's

1:54:31

guys out there that are still 14, 15 cars, nobody gives

1:54:34

a shit. Yeah. There's

1:54:36

this comic, I did Kill Tony last night.

1:54:38

This comic came up and he said he's

1:54:40

got a Kia and it's been stolen four

1:54:42

times this year. I guess Kia has some

1:54:45

kind of a defect and you

1:54:47

can read about it online, but it's like super

1:54:50

easy, like old school hot wiring. You can

1:54:52

just grab a Kia. Yeah,

1:54:55

I've heard about this. It gets stolen a

1:54:57

lot. Kia thefts. Big deal.

1:54:59

The only downside is once you do it, you've got a Kia. That's

1:55:04

the payoff. It's mostly kids though. Mostly kids doing it

1:55:06

for joy rides. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can do it

1:55:08

in like 10 seconds. It's

1:55:11

happening all over the country. It's been happening for a few

1:55:13

years now. So they take it, go on a joy ride,

1:55:15

beat the shit out of it. Yeah, they're just driving crazy.

1:55:17

No, there's nothing more joyful than driving a Kia. Well,

1:55:20

I mean, if you don't have a car and you're just

1:55:22

trying to have fun, beat the fuck out of this Kia.

1:55:27

That's kind of hilarious. They could

1:55:29

just steal Kia's. Right, I know. But

1:55:31

there's junk. But they're cheap

1:55:33

and they don't break that much. Like if you just need

1:55:35

something to get around, it just sucks that they could steal

1:55:38

them so easy. So you're not going

1:55:40

to congratulate me? I

1:55:42

bought the Mustang. Oh, that's right. I sent

1:55:44

you a picture. That's right. I finally did

1:55:46

it. I've been talking to you about it

1:55:48

for 15 years. I wanted a Mustang and

1:55:50

I always had kids at college. I

1:55:53

get fucking worried about money. I

1:55:56

always spent my money on trips. Our family

1:55:58

travels a lot. That was a... Cars were

1:56:00

never a big thing, but yet there was always a Teenage

1:56:03

it's fucking wanted a Mustang and then finally

1:56:05

I just fucking did it like which one

1:56:08

you got six ago. It's just

1:56:10

a Mustang Which

1:56:12

what what model T

1:56:15

the eco boost you got the six cylinder engine.

1:56:17

Yeah, I don't know what it is. How is

1:56:19

it? It's funny Yeah, I took it up into

1:56:22

the Malibu Hills at Santa Monica Mountains the other

1:56:24

day with my wife You've

1:56:26

got those little like serpentine roads

1:56:28

and fucking it handles

1:56:31

Unbelievable and it's so low to the ground you

1:56:34

turn and you just feel like you're turning with

1:56:36

the car Yeah, you're not used to a car

1:56:38

like that. No No, I was

1:56:40

driving a Prius and a Subaru. It was

1:56:43

awful Now I feel alive

1:56:45

for the first time. I knew you're gonna ask me was

1:56:47

a fucking GT here So I was yeah, if you're gonna

1:56:49

get a Mustang you gotta get a VA That's

1:56:52

that's a great Baby

1:56:55

step so now you're hooked. I mean Well

1:56:59

now I got a little more money too. Yeah, my

1:57:01

kids are out. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah Spending

1:57:04

money now spending like I'm looking like a

1:57:06

man. It's been a good I think

1:57:08

good couple years But like it's all going back I

1:57:10

put a lot of it into this special that I

1:57:12

shot at your club by the way at the mothership

1:57:15

I heard it's great out today. Oh, did you yeah?

1:57:17

Oh, that's nice to hear guys who saw it

1:57:19

when yeah Yeah, yeah, it was fun. It was

1:57:22

uh, you know because I was gonna

1:57:24

do it before the pandemic happened And then that

1:57:26

stalled it out and then I came back. I

1:57:28

shot it at one place Didn't

1:57:31

it meant too much to me to put out a

1:57:33

bad version of it So I edited for three months

1:57:35

and then I just fucking scrapped it entirely and

1:57:38

then when I did there we go and

1:57:40

then The great Adam Egett

1:57:42

said hey We'd

1:57:45

love to have you Joe would love to have you do

1:57:47

a special here And I was like are you fucking kidding

1:57:49

me and I came in

1:57:51

and I didn't have to do shit I didn't

1:57:53

have to like build a backdrop because all

1:57:55

Brian Simpson I think is the only guy that's put

1:57:57

a special out from this place so like that back

1:58:00

backdrop is beautiful and people

1:58:02

haven't seen it much. Yeah. So,

1:58:04

I don't think it matters anyway. Like, how many

1:58:06

fucking times have you seen people do stand up

1:58:09

from the cellar and you just see the brick

1:58:11

wall? You don't go, oh, that brick wall, I

1:58:13

can't even enjoy these jokes. Right, right, yeah, but

1:58:15

at the same time, like, I wanted it to

1:58:17

be special. It's been a long time since I

1:58:19

put a special out and this material is like,

1:58:21

again, I've been working on it for like eight

1:58:23

years. So I wanted it to

1:58:25

really pop and so I got in, I

1:58:27

bought in 800 pound gorilla, they shoot a lot

1:58:29

of the specials and they just, I

1:58:31

spent some money and I did it right and

1:58:34

fucking psyched about it. Nice, and is it gonna be

1:58:36

on YouTube? It's on YouTube right now, it comes out

1:58:38

today. YouTube is the move, man. It's

1:58:40

such a good move for like getting your stuff out

1:58:42

there. You know, you could get millions

1:58:45

of views and everybody can get it, you could get

1:58:47

it on your phone, you could share it. That's the

1:58:49

thing I love about YouTube is like someone can send

1:58:51

it to me, like a link to your

1:58:53

thing and I can just watch it right away, which is

1:58:55

nuts. There's no other platform like that. I

1:58:58

love that I can see the comments. I

1:59:00

mean, if you put it on Netflix or Comedy Central,

1:59:03

I guess there's gonna be some conversation on certain

1:59:05

places, but YouTube, it's right fucking

1:59:07

there. And you can

1:59:09

see how many people are watching it

1:59:11

and I just don't want my wife

1:59:14

and kids to watch the last 10 minutes, that's where I

1:59:16

start giving it to the old lady a little bit. Yeah,

1:59:20

tell them to steer clear. Yeah, they don't

1:59:22

need to see that. They don't need to see your act.

1:59:24

Come on, stay away from that, that's my business. Yeah, you

1:59:27

can see the- That's for the rest of the world. Yeah, you can

1:59:29

see the trips I take you on, that's all you need to care

1:59:31

about. Dad's Mustang, that's

1:59:33

all you're concerned about. Yeah, now that you're hooked, I'm gonna

1:59:35

get you into something more crazy. Oh yeah?

1:59:38

Yeah, yeah, yeah, next one. We're gonna step you up

1:59:40

a little bit. No shit. Yeah,

1:59:42

you need to feel like boom. You need

1:59:44

to feel some real excitement. Feel the rumble

1:59:46

under the balls. Yeah, real rumble. Boom.

1:59:50

You either hear a V8, you need to roll

1:59:52

the windows down and rev it in a parking structure.

1:59:55

Yeah. What was that Mustang

1:59:57

you drove into the comedy store one night? You

2:00:00

had like a 68 Fastback, was it? No,

2:00:03

no. That

2:00:05

was probably my Corvette.

2:00:08

No, you had a Mustang. No, I definitely

2:00:10

did. Oh, no, no, no. I had a more

2:00:13

modern Mustang. Oh, maybe that's what it was. I

2:00:15

had a Shelby GT500. It's

2:00:17

like a 2012 convertible. It was great. It

2:00:19

was very rumbly. Yeah, that was

2:00:21

fun. That car was ridiculous. Any gas

2:00:23

at all when you're making a turn, the ass-hand

2:00:26

kicks out. Any gas at all. It was so

2:00:28

overpowered. Didn't have the fattest tires in

2:00:30

the world, but god damn, it was fun. That

2:00:33

was the first one of those cars that

2:00:35

I had ever gotten, whereas a modern muscle

2:00:37

car. I had had muscle cars before, like

2:00:39

the old school ones. But the modern ones are

2:00:41

even more fun to drive, because you can actually drive

2:00:44

them. They actually have good

2:00:46

brakes. They actually have good suspension. They're

2:00:48

designed well. If you get

2:00:50

like a modern, Mustang has

2:00:52

a thing called the Dark Horse. So the

2:00:55

Dark Horse is their top-end car that

2:00:57

you can get with a manual transmission. It's

2:00:59

fucking great. It's like 500 horsepower. It

2:01:03

handles really well. See if you can

2:01:05

find Mustang Dark Horse. That's

2:01:08

the top of the line before they get

2:01:10

into the GT500, which is only automatic. So

2:01:14

I think the Dark Horse is the last

2:01:16

one that you can get that's got a

2:01:18

standard transmission. I

2:01:21

need that. You have a muscle car. I need

2:01:23

that fucking. I

2:01:27

need that. That's it. That is

2:01:29

a sick car, man. That's a sick

2:01:31

car. I just love that they're still

2:01:34

making cars like this. They're just full-on

2:01:36

muscle cars, but with like performance suspensions

2:01:38

and great brakes now. Look

2:01:40

at that fucking itself. I know, because that was the rap

2:01:42

on old Mustangs is they were fast, but you went into

2:01:44

a corner and you like got slammed against the side of

2:01:46

the car. Look at that thing. Nasty.

2:01:50

Those are fun. I don't know what it is about

2:01:52

Mustangs. It's just the

2:01:54

American car to me. Well,

2:01:56

they're fucking incredible, man, and they've been around forever.

2:01:59

I have a six. I

2:02:01

have a

2:02:03

68, one that looks like Steve McQueen's one

2:02:05

from Bullet. Bullet. Yeah. Yeah.

2:02:09

Fucking great. Yeah, that's the one, the 68.

2:02:11

The great ... It's an American car, a

2:02:13

truly American car. Is it all new guts?

2:02:15

Oh yeah, it's all new. It's for this

2:02:17

company, Revology makes them. They take it

2:02:19

from the ground up. It's basically a 2023 1968 Mustang. Yeah.

2:02:24

I mean, even the doors close really well,

2:02:27

push button start. You feel like you're

2:02:29

driving a new car. Yeah.

2:02:31

But it sounds right. It feels right.

2:02:33

It's a rumbling. It's a boom. Like

2:02:35

it's exciting. Boom. Yeah.

2:02:40

I know my wife wanted me to get a Tesla and I was like, I

2:02:42

want to feel it. I want to feel

2:02:44

that fucking rumble. Tesla's actually faster though, isn't

2:02:47

it? Way faster. Yeah. My

2:02:49

Tesla's my fastest car, for sure, by far, not even close.

2:02:52

It's 1.9 seconds, zero to 60. Damn.

2:02:55

That's insanity. Well, it's insanity

2:02:57

because then people don't hear you coming and you're

2:02:59

going that much faster. That's

2:03:01

true. That's true. But it's also, it

2:03:03

gets you away from things. Like if

2:03:06

you see something about to happen, you

2:03:08

could get out of there quicker. You

2:03:11

can merge on the highway like instantaneously. You never

2:03:13

have to worry. Am I going fast enough? Like

2:03:15

if I merge in this lane, am I cutting

2:03:17

this too close? You could just, you're gone. And

2:03:20

are the brakes that much better? No.

2:03:23

No, you could get upgraded brakes though. There's

2:03:26

a company called Unplugged that will take

2:03:28

it and they put upgraded brakes. They

2:03:30

widen the fenders and put wider tires

2:03:33

on it and change the suspension and

2:03:35

make it totter. But

2:03:37

the brakes are good. The brakes on, they're

2:03:39

not the best brakes on my Tesla.

2:03:42

It's not like a Porsche's brakes, like

2:03:44

a Porsche with ceramic,

2:03:47

carbon ceramic brakes. Those are incredible.

2:03:49

Like if you get like a

2:03:51

really good modern brake setup, six

2:03:54

piston, six front brakes, this

2:03:56

big calipers, those things can really

2:03:58

fucking slow. down a car quickly.

2:04:01

So the Tesla's not as good as those,

2:04:03

but it's good enough. But it's a heavy

2:04:05

ass car too. They're having a problem with

2:04:08

guardrails. I was reading this thing about electric

2:04:10

cars. They drove one of those Rivian trucks.

2:04:12

It just goes right through those guardrails because

2:04:14

it's way heavier than a regular car. Oh,

2:04:16

no shit. Yeah, you have to think about

2:04:18

that. Yeah, Rivian's had a big call back.

2:04:20

I think they're okay now, but they called

2:04:22

back like every one of them at one

2:04:24

point. Oh, for what? Like a year ago.

2:04:27

I can't remember what it was, but ... You

2:04:29

know what's incredible? Have you seen a Lucid? Lucid

2:04:31

Sapphire? No. Lucid Sapphire is

2:04:33

... The company's kind of struggling. They're having

2:04:35

a hard time selling these things. But

2:04:38

I think they have some Saudi Arabian money now, so

2:04:40

maybe they're going to be okay. But they have a

2:04:42

thing called a Sapphire that's one of

2:04:45

the most insane electric cars ever built. Wow. It's

2:04:48

like a Mercedes. Incredible attention

2:04:50

to detail. Incredible interior.

2:04:53

Luxurious. And zero to 60 is

2:04:56

even faster than my car. I think their zero

2:04:58

to 60 is something bonkers, like 1.7 seconds. Wow.

2:05:02

Yeah. Scroll back up where it says the

2:05:04

acceleration. Here it goes. Okay. 2.2 seconds to

2:05:06

60 miles an hour,

2:05:09

quarter mile of 9.28 seconds, which

2:05:11

is bananas for a car. That

2:05:15

is so crazy. Yeah. I

2:05:18

mean, it's so fast, but it also has

2:05:20

incredible ... So it says, the timer backs

2:05:22

this up with more outrageous numbers. Zero to

2:05:24

60 in 1.9 seconds, and then a 9.05

2:05:26

second at 154 miles per

2:05:32

hour for the quarter mile,

2:05:35

which is bananas. That's so fast.

2:05:38

And it handles really well. Great brakes. Have

2:05:41

you taken a Tesla onto a track? No.

2:05:44

But it's a lot more expensive. I think those are like

2:05:47

... That one, the Sapphire,

2:05:49

I think that's like a quarter million dollars. Where

2:05:51

is it from? I believe it's an

2:05:53

American car. At least it's made in

2:05:55

America. I think they make them in Arizona. Insane

2:05:58

car though. 250

2:06:00

grand. Yeah. So

2:06:02

they're doing cars like that now where

2:06:05

it has all these things, but

2:06:08

you still have to charge it. But

2:06:10

now Samsung apparently is coming out

2:06:12

with a new battery for

2:06:15

electric vehicles that they've apparently

2:06:17

been working on that can charge

2:06:19

in nine minutes and

2:06:21

it has a 600 mile range. I heard

2:06:23

about that. Yeah. That's a game changer.

2:06:26

Game changer. Yeah. Nine minutes is

2:06:28

a game changer. It's a game changer. Yeah.

2:06:30

But I'm going to plug it in

2:06:33

and I'm going to run away because

2:06:35

who fucking knows how long the amount

2:06:37

of juice that's going to that battery

2:06:39

is. Who knows if a gas gets

2:06:41

loose or who fucking knows, man. I

2:06:43

don't want to be nowhere near those

2:06:45

batteries. Yeah. That scares the shit out of

2:06:48

me. I know. You've seen those

2:06:50

videos of guys getting in elevators with

2:06:52

e-car batteries or e-bike batteries and the

2:06:55

batteries explode. Yeah. I've seen that.

2:06:57

And they just fry. This is burned

2:06:59

down because if you leave it charged

2:07:02

in your garage, it will

2:07:04

ignite sometimes. And it blasts fire. It

2:07:06

doesn't just light on fire. It blasts

2:07:08

fire. It's like it's all condensed in

2:07:10

there. And when it goes, it goes

2:07:12

like a fucking fire bomb. There's

2:07:15

a video of a guy in an

2:07:17

elevator. It's horrific. He sets it down

2:07:19

on the ground and it just sparks

2:07:21

and then just full on fills the

2:07:23

elevator with fire. There's nowhere to hide.

2:07:26

That guy just cooks alive inside that

2:07:28

elevator. Imagine that. You're

2:07:30

trying to save a few bucks by

2:07:33

getting an electric bike and you burn

2:07:35

your house down. It's also this ridiculous

2:07:37

thing that we have where we think

2:07:39

that that's eco-friendly. I'm going to be

2:07:41

eco-friendly. I'm going to drive my electric

2:07:43

bike. That is not

2:07:45

eco-friendly. Like you're using electricity. That

2:07:47

electricity probably requires somewhere,

2:07:50

somewhere, someone's burning something to

2:07:52

make that electricity. Whether it's

2:07:55

coal or it could be natural gas. Something's

2:07:58

happening where there's a combustion. And

2:08:00

that's how you're getting this electricity. What is

2:08:02

that putting in there? You lazy bitch? Just

2:08:05

ride your bike like a regular bike rider

2:08:07

you fucking lazy bitch That don't show me

2:08:09

this that also doesn't even get into what

2:08:11

we're talking about with the cold-bolt Mining that

2:08:13

has to go into it and the disposal

2:08:15

of the batteries which nobody really understands I

2:08:17

change my mind show it to Greg. I

2:08:20

was saying don't show it to me, but show it show it

2:08:22

to Greg Greg Let me see this so this poor dude. He

2:08:24

sets it down Now look

2:08:27

oh, it's before even set it down, bro.

2:08:29

It just yeah death just

2:08:32

death Yeah It

2:08:35

freaks me out Jamie They

2:08:39

couldn't someone looked into what this

2:08:41

was and there's a lot of stories on what it may

2:08:43

have been Not really sure what I'll

2:08:45

tell you what a lug you know what lugs your

2:08:47

hotel is you put me up in this beautiful hotel

2:08:49

and And the elevators are

2:08:52

always there That's the difference between a good hotel and

2:08:54

a bad hotel right when you have to wait no

2:08:56

matter what floor you're on you push the But I

2:08:58

swear to God two seconds that thing is there and

2:09:00

then I'm in the middle of I'm on the road

2:09:02

for a month Right now I'm home for two days

2:09:04

because I'm out promoting the special and doing road work

2:09:06

on the weekends in between so

2:09:09

I was like yesterday, I was like fuck I got to do some

2:09:11

laundry and So I

2:09:13

look on my Google Maps is there a

2:09:16

place for drop-off service? Nothing I would

2:09:18

have to drive like 15 minutes in an uber so I

2:09:20

was like fuck it I'll just do the hotel laundry and

2:09:22

it's like a luxury hotel So I

2:09:24

put my clothes into the into the

2:09:26

bag was five pairs of socks five

2:09:28

t-shirts and five person underwear Came back.

2:09:30

It was a hundred and five dollars

2:09:35

You could have bought those I Exactly

2:09:38

that's where Dom Irares do that he used

2:09:40

to buy fresh underwear and fresh socks everywhere.

2:09:42

He went no shit. Yeah Yeah,

2:09:45

he was I want to wash them yeah Right

2:09:56

right and

2:09:58

I don't buy expensive socks You

2:10:00

know? But I

2:10:02

had already turned. Again, who's making those

2:10:04

socks? That's right. You know

2:10:06

the Sheen? Is that that clothing company that

2:10:09

sells stuff real cheap? I don't know. Remember

2:10:11

that, Jamie? Sheen? I

2:10:13

was just reading something today about people

2:10:15

finding letters, like, please help me.

2:10:17

I have dental pain, that kind of shit.

2:10:19

I'm forced to be stuck here. Did

2:10:22

Sheen get in trouble for using child labor? Is there

2:10:24

something about that? And

2:10:27

what store is selling Sheen? I mean, I know.

2:10:29

I think it's an online thing. OK. Because I

2:10:31

know sometimes the big ones, like

2:10:33

Walmart, they get in trouble for some of

2:10:35

the places they shop. Well, that's the thing,

2:10:37

man. It's like if you're buying something from

2:10:39

an American store, you have no idea where

2:10:42

it was made and how it was made. Conspiracy

2:10:45

theory claiming Sheen workers sent pleas for

2:10:47

help in clothing. He has tens of

2:10:49

millions of views on TikTok. There's no

2:10:51

evidence of support in this particular theory,

2:10:53

despite criticism of Sheen's business model. Yeah,

2:10:56

but Google Sheen in

2:11:00

trouble for child labor or confirms

2:11:02

child labor. There was something about

2:11:04

that today. There

2:11:07

was something in the news, child labor.

2:11:12

Yeah, OK. This

2:11:15

just says two cases. Sheen says it

2:11:17

found two cases of child labor in

2:11:19

its supply chain last year. So

2:11:21

you've got to think, right? They send their

2:11:24

stuff to factories to get those factories to

2:11:26

make their stuff. If

2:11:28

they found two in China, I

2:11:30

mean, China, they

2:11:33

protect what's going on

2:11:35

in these factories. Do you think, I

2:11:38

mean, does this count the North Koreans that are being

2:11:40

held? Right. Well,

2:11:42

maybe it's not for this company. Companies

2:11:44

said it did not find any cases of child labor in

2:11:46

Q4 of 2023. That's

2:11:48

real specific. Did you look? So

2:11:51

if there's a startup that was only found during Q3 or

2:11:54

something earlier in the year? They

2:11:56

weren't doing it anymore. Which

2:11:58

is weird, because that was the one. the kids name

2:12:00

that they caught doing the child name. It

2:12:04

should be made in America. You should be able to buy

2:12:06

American stuff. And there's not that

2:12:09

many companies that are selling things in America,

2:12:11

unfortunately. Tom's Shoes. Tom's

2:12:14

Shoes? Yeah. Is

2:12:16

that what you buy? It's called Tom's. Yeah. They

2:12:19

sell you a pair of shoes and they donate a pair

2:12:21

to a third world kid that has no shoes. Oh, that's

2:12:23

nice. You know those barefoot kids? Yeah, that's nice. Not

2:12:26

barefoot anymore. There you go. What

2:12:28

are the companies? I guess Patagonia, they're very

2:12:31

conscious about where they manufacture. Well, I

2:12:33

would imagine any of those rocky

2:12:36

mountain climbing people companies,

2:12:39

like North Face. It'd have to

2:12:41

be pretty ecological. I heard REI's

2:12:43

not doing good. What do

2:12:45

you mean? The company? Their practices or the

2:12:47

company? No, the company's not doing good. Dude, I fucking

2:12:49

love that company. Love that place. They got one in

2:12:51

Marina Del Rey that's huge. I

2:12:53

don't know, I get so excited just walking through the

2:12:55

aisles finding cool shit. It's the only place where you

2:12:57

buy waterproof matches on a whim. I can't, I might

2:12:59

need those. Right. I

2:13:02

need a canteen that I can also take a shit into. I

2:13:04

need a 100,000 lumen flashlight. Case

2:13:08

is a fucking raccoon in my garbage. Boom,

2:13:11

motherfucker. Do you see

2:13:13

those flashlights they have?

2:13:16

Oh, yeah. They have crazy flashlights.

2:13:19

Yeah, yeah. Some of those

2:13:21

LED flashlights, they're so powerful.

2:13:23

It's bananas. But we

2:13:26

used to have flashlights, they were bullshit.

2:13:28

I know. They had that one stupid

2:13:30

bulb and that silver reflective area on

2:13:32

the outside supposed to amplify the light

2:13:34

from this one shitty light bulb. And

2:13:36

you had to put in those giant

2:13:39

double D batteries that weighed like eight pounds

2:13:41

to carry it around. I think they all

2:13:43

need those now. Well I think with these

2:13:46

really high lumen lights, the LEDs don't draw

2:13:48

much electricity. Dude, all my camping stuff is

2:13:50

solar. Really? Yeah, my

2:13:52

lanterns are all solar. It's great. They

2:13:55

collapse, it's collapsible. And

2:13:57

then it pops up, I think it's a Coleman.

2:13:59

And it collapses. and then it pops up and

2:14:01

then charges. It's got a nice light. My friend

2:14:03

Adam Greentree, he does a lot of these solo

2:14:06

hunts where he goes into the back country

2:14:09

for like a month at a time, just

2:14:11

him by himself living off the land. And

2:14:13

he has this, it's like a tarp you

2:14:15

lay out. It's a solar tarp, like you

2:14:17

unfold it. And he uses it

2:14:19

to charge his phone, charge his cameras, like anything

2:14:21

he wants to charge. Yeah, I

2:14:24

bet you those boats, those people that take

2:14:26

a boat from Hawaii to mainland

2:14:28

US, they must have, everything

2:14:30

must be solar. You have to have something solar.

2:14:32

You have to have at least some kind of

2:14:35

backup. Like if your generator goes down, you're

2:14:37

stuck in the middle of the fucking ocean, you can't even

2:14:39

rescue, you know, like send a

2:14:41

rescue message. Yeah. Dude, if

2:14:43

you told me we're gonna send you

2:14:45

on a sailboat to Hawaii, I would

2:14:47

be like, I'll just die, you could

2:14:50

just, you could kill me. Going

2:14:52

into storms with 20 foot

2:14:55

waves on a sailboat. In the middle of

2:14:57

the ocean, dude. In the middle of the

2:14:59

ocean. How about that guy that

2:15:01

died in Italy? You hear that story, that crazy story?

2:15:04

So there's this guy who was on

2:15:06

trial. He was some billionaire character who

2:15:09

was on trial for, forget what

2:15:11

the charges were, but

2:15:13

there was a very low probability of him

2:15:15

beating the case and he went up beating

2:15:17

it. And then he's on

2:15:20

the island of Sicily. He's

2:15:22

around Sicily in the ocean and

2:15:25

a water spout out of

2:15:27

nowhere hits his boat, sinks

2:15:29

him and kills him. I

2:15:31

believe killed his daughter and maybe a

2:15:33

few other people as well. And then

2:15:35

some people swim to safety. Oh. But

2:15:40

what are the odds that this water spout

2:15:43

takes out this one guy's yacht right

2:15:46

after this guy gets off on, apparently

2:15:48

allegedly ripping off a bunch of very

2:15:51

wealthy people. Oh, yeah.

2:15:53

Now his co-defendant gets

2:15:55

hit by a car. It's

2:16:00

killed too. No shit. Nothing to see here. Not

2:16:02

in Sicily that shit never happens in Sicily I

2:16:04

don't know if the codefender got killed in Sicily

2:16:06

the codefender might have got killed somewhere else, but

2:16:08

I know they're both dead. Damn. Quick Yeah,

2:16:11

it makes you wonder like don't Fuck

2:16:14

with rich people. Mm-hmm. Do not

2:16:16

yeah They cuz they can

2:16:18

make someone rich to get rid of you. Mm-hmm. Like

2:16:22

what do you how much you think you're worth? Like

2:16:24

if someone's worth 80 billion dollars and you rip them

2:16:26

off for like five billion dollars like I want this

2:16:29

motherfucker good yeah, and you have what you go for

2:16:31

a walk on a beach with a guy and Everybody

2:16:34

leaves their cell phones at home. You explain how it's

2:16:36

all gonna get done Yeah, and a water

2:16:38

spout just shows up in the middle of the ocean What

2:16:41

are they you they use in

2:16:43

satellites? What access to fucking killer

2:16:45