0:01

Hey Story Pirates Podcast listeners, Lee

0:03

here. This week we have

0:06

a brand new mixtape for you from

0:08

DJ Squirmalot to help celebrate going back

0:10

to school. It's full of

0:12

your favorite Story Pirates songs and

0:14

maybe even a few that you've

0:16

forgotten about. Get ready, because

0:19

here it comes, right after a few words

0:21

for the grown ups. Attention

0:30

grown ups on the East

0:32

Coast, the Story Pirates amazing

0:35

adventure tour continues this fall

0:37

2024 with

0:40

shows in New York City,

0:42

Washington DC, Albany

0:44

New York, Beverly Massachusetts,

0:47

Richfield Connecticut and Portsmouth

0:49

New Hampshire. You

0:52

can find tickets

0:54

at storypirates.com/live. We're

0:56

going to be performing some songs from our

0:59

new album Key Change World as well

1:01

as some greatest hits and of course

1:04

a ton of improv comedy based on

1:06

suggestions from kids who are in the

1:08

audience. So East Coast, let's

1:10

do this. That

1:12

ticket link again is

1:15

storypirates.com/ live. And

1:18

now back to the show. Hey

1:21

grown ups, if you're a fan of

1:23

comedy, there's a brand new podcast from

1:25

our friend Justin Bartha that I wanted

1:27

to tell you about. You

1:29

may remember Justin from episode seven this

1:32

season. He's the treasure hunter at

1:34

the Met and as you heard, a seriously

1:37

funny actor. This

1:39

show is called King of the

1:42

Egg Cream and in addition to

1:44

Justin, it has just the most

1:46

incredible cast. Again, this shows just

1:48

for grown ups and probably older

1:51

kids. Grown ups you can

1:53

take a listen yourself and see what you think. But

1:56

if you're a fan of hilarious stuff

1:58

and well told stories. OK.

6:01

This first one is kind of

6:04

sporty. I'll just wriggle into it.

6:08

And OK. What do you think,

6:11

Lee? It's just a spandex

6:13

tube. Well, sure, Lee. I'm a

6:15

worm. All of our clothes are

6:17

tubes. OK. Well, um, I

6:19

love it. It looks like you're

6:21

about to go jogging or something. OK.

6:24

Lee likes it. I'll

6:27

just wriggle out. And

6:30

put this one on the no pile. Wait,

6:32

what do you mean the no pile? I

6:34

said I liked it. Next outfit. This

6:37

one's kind of a cowboy look.

6:40

OK. And here it

6:42

is. What do you think? Hmm.

6:46

Now you're wearing a

6:48

denim tube. Yep, like

6:50

worm cowboys wear. I

6:53

don't know about this one. I'm going

6:55

to say no. OK. Lee, so

6:57

this one goes on the yes

6:59

pile. Wait, but I said. Next

7:02

outfit. How's this? I'm

7:04

not sure how I know this, but is that

7:07

a tank top you're wearing? Sure

7:09

is. This look

7:11

is definitely a yes for me.

7:14

Onto the no pile. But. Next outfit.

7:16

How's this one? Sparkly sequins

7:18

tube? Yep. That's a no

7:21

for me. Into the yes pile. Hold

7:23

on. DJ Scormulot, what is going on here?

7:26

Every time I say an outfit is a yes for

7:28

me, you put it in the no pile.

7:31

And then when I don't like an outfit, you

7:33

put it in the yes pile. You

7:37

notice that, huh? How could I not

7:39

notice it? You know what? This

7:41

is probably a great time for me

7:43

to play our first song. Squirmies,

7:46

this first track comes to us

7:48

from Eli, a six-year-old in Massachusetts.

7:51

And it's also on the brand new

7:53

Story Pirates album Key Change

7:55

World. Here's the alien

7:57

that discovered banana pie. Bread!

8:11

I'm an alien on another planet

8:14

And I own a store But

8:19

I'm not a success by any

8:21

stretch Oh, that's for sure All

8:25

the other aliens They have

8:28

been discovering New amazing foods

8:30

to taste But

8:33

I've yet to find any kind of

8:35

dish That I can sell to my

8:37

customer base I've

8:40

tried fixing together ingredients

8:44

Anything I see All

8:48

in the hopes of stumbling

8:50

upon a new recipe I'm

9:00

an alien on another planet And

9:02

I own a store Putting

9:07

all types of foods together Looking

9:09

for something more I've

9:13

mixed together crackers and ice cream

9:15

Then grapes and hummus couldn't stand

9:18

them They were bad I

9:21

tried tuna fish and orange juice Cereal

9:23

and broccoli too It made my

9:25

tummy sad Now

9:28

I only have two foods left Will

9:32

they work? Don't know I

9:37

guess I'll throw them together now

9:39

Here I go

9:47

I'll mix bananas, bananas, bananas

9:49

Bananas and bread I'll

9:54

mix bananas, bananas, bananas Bananas

9:58

and bread I'll

10:00

mix bananas, bananas, bananas, bananas,

10:02

you're bright I'll

10:08

mix bananas, bananas, bananas, bananas,

10:11

you're bright Here

10:17

goes nothing Hey,

10:23

it's not bad No,

10:25

it's better than not bad It's

10:27

good Wow, banana

10:30

and bread Hmm, what should I

10:32

call the dish? Oh, I know,

10:35

cheesecake No, wait, banana

10:37

bread I did it And all it took

10:39

was a dash of perseverance, a pinch of

10:42

faith in myself And also the ingredients I'll

10:45

mix bananas, bananas, bananas,

10:47

bananas, you're bright I'll

10:53

mix bananas and bread and you're white I'll

10:57

mix bananas, bananas,

11:00

bananas, bananas, you're

11:03

bright I'll

11:08

mix bananas and bread and you're

11:10

white I'll mix bananas and bread

11:12

and you're white I'm

11:16

an alien on another planet and I

11:18

own a store Yeah, I can

11:21

see the sign, it says Banana Bread Store It's

11:23

where I sell my banana bread, would you

11:25

like to try some? Sure Hey,

11:29

this is not that bad Scratch that,

11:31

it's the best thing that I've ever had

11:34

He wants some for two What

11:38

a meal A real deal Is it broccoli and

11:40

cereal? Close

11:44

I'll mix bananas, bananas,

11:46

bananas, bananas, you're bright

11:49

I'll mix bananas

11:51

and bread and you're white I'll

11:55

mix bananas and bread and you're white

11:58

Everyone got it? Yeah! Some

20:00

little children wonder where those three went

20:02

should be home where they belong Home

20:05

where they belong Daddy,

20:10

don't you worry about us

20:14

We decided to go out ourselves

20:16

and busk La la la la

20:19

We've been practicing our music

20:22

very long So we're

20:24

gonna play a concert and sing our

20:26

song Oh, where

20:28

could they be? Well, I'd give

20:30

anything to know Just then a

20:32

person dropped the flyer in my

20:34

hat for a local show They

20:37

said, this trio's famous Check it

20:39

out now if you dig They

20:42

play and sing so well One

20:45

kid, one cat, one pig

20:50

I could not believe it, so I

20:52

ran down to the show And

20:55

right there before my eyes

20:57

it was a wonderful surprise

21:00

They waved and looked at me There

21:07

they were all three with so much

21:09

talent for their hates They

21:11

were playing mighty fine up

21:13

on that big beautiful stage

21:16

Oh, what a sight to see Look

21:19

up there, my children are so

21:21

joyful and so loud They're

21:24

better now than me and I

21:26

couldn't be more proud But

21:29

please, don't run away again I

21:32

know you understand that we

21:34

all should stick together and

21:37

start a family

21:39

band I

21:42

got 29 kids, don't forget the pigs

21:44

85 cats, that's right Well,

21:47

they love my little children and I'll sing it

21:49

all day Till I hit the hay and field,

21:51

alright We

21:53

all feel alright We

21:57

all feel alright We

22:03

all feel alright. But

22:30

don't you have something to say to me? Lee, I'm

22:33

sorry. It's true. I think

22:36

that you have bad fashion sense.

22:39

But the truth is, if it's not

22:41

bad to you, then it's not bad.

22:43

What do you mean? The

22:46

way you feel about fashion is

22:48

very personal. And the

22:50

only opinion that should matter

22:53

is your own. So if

22:56

you don't like my

22:58

fashion, it doesn't matter?

23:01

Not at all, Lee! And the

23:03

truth is that your fashion works

23:05

great for you because it

23:07

fits your personality. Okay, good. Because

23:10

I actually have a great new

23:12

outfit that I love that I

23:14

want to show you right now.

23:16

Uh-oh. What was

23:19

that? I mean, great! Okay,

23:21

just stepping behind the privacy screen, putting

23:24

on my look, and...

23:28

Okay, what do you think? Ahh!

23:30

Lee! You're... Lee, you're just wearing

23:33

a full-body cat costume. Uh-huh. It's

23:35

my favorite new look. You

23:38

know, I'm not sure it's something

23:40

I would ever wear, but for

23:42

you, Lee, it's really working. Do

23:45

you mean it? Yes! Your fashion

23:47

sense is uniquely you, Lee! Great

23:49

work! Thanks, DJSquirmalot. That actually means

23:52

a lot. From

24:00

seven-year-old Taylor in Rhode Island,

24:02

he is the bear who

24:04

couldn't disco. But

24:31

Brenton wasn't like all his

24:34

other bear friends. All

24:40

of his friends could disco, and

24:42

he loved to watch them

24:44

do all the cool moves.

24:47

But Brenton just couldn't dance

24:49

like them. All

24:53

the other bears can

24:56

disco, but I

24:59

can't disco. Tell

25:01

me what's a bear

25:04

to do. I

25:09

just want to disco

25:11

like the other bears.

25:16

I just want to

25:19

disco like the other

25:21

bears. And if

25:23

I could disco like the

25:26

others, oh wouldn't that be

25:28

fair? I

25:31

want to disco like

25:34

the other bears. Brenton

25:39

was so sad, he ran

25:41

away from home. From

25:44

home. He

25:46

ran far into the

25:49

forest one night, one

25:52

night. Brenton

25:55

got tired, and he

25:57

laid down on a rock as the moon

25:59

shone. I'm

32:05

a bluebird, I sing the

32:07

song of the sun I

32:23

lay my head

32:26

down when

32:28

the day is done

32:32

And I dream of a blackbird, I

32:35

wish that we were near

32:39

And when I open

32:41

my eyes, I always

32:43

long to hear the song

32:45

of the stars Wherever

32:49

we are, we'll

32:53

bring our hearts

32:56

together The

32:59

song of the stars, in the day or

33:02

the dark We

33:08

can sing our

33:10

love forever I'm

33:16

a blackbird, at night

33:19

I chirp to guard the moon I'm

33:23

all a bluebird, I

33:26

sleep when my work is through

33:30

That's when her day starts,

33:32

her song is for

33:34

the sun Without

33:38

our singing, down

33:41

would come undone The

33:43

song of the stars,

33:46

wherever we are We'll

33:51

bring our hearts

33:54

together The

33:58

song of the stars In

34:01

the day or the dark, we

34:06

can sing our

34:08

love forever There

34:14

was a time when

34:16

the night met the day

34:20

When the sun and the

34:23

moon became one, we found

34:25

a way To

34:28

be with each other in

34:31

a town down stood

34:33

still And

34:35

the stars go singing

34:38

our song so everyone

34:40

can feel The

34:47

song of the stars, wherever

34:51

we are,

34:53

will bring

34:56

our hearts

34:58

together The

35:01

song of the stars, in

35:05

the day or the dark, now

35:09

we can sing

35:11

our love forever

35:16

The song of

35:18

the stars, wherever

35:20

we are, will

35:24

bring our hearts

35:27

together The

35:30

song of the stars, in the day or the

35:33

dark, now we can sing our love forever It's

36:24

the Story Pirates back to

36:26

school mixtape 2024! I'm

36:30

your host, DJ Squirmelade! Let's

36:32

keep the fun going with

36:35

another track! From 9 year

36:37

old Imogen in the UK,

36:39

here's Cucumbers for Life! One

36:59

man had an ice

37:02

cream van in a

37:04

business plan. My

37:07

van played a tune worth its

37:09

weight in gold, when it played

37:11

every ice cream sold, even

37:14

in the cold. One

37:22

day I drank some pickled juice

37:24

and all that changed, see

37:27

the juice made me transform,

37:29

into something strange. Now

37:32

I sell cucumbers that are bumpy

37:34

and green, just like me. And

37:37

all my ice cream customers

37:39

are nowhere to be seen.

37:42

Cause I'm a cucumber

37:44

for life, cucumber for

37:47

life, selling cucumbers for

37:49

life, cucumbers for life,

37:51

cucumbers for life. I'm

37:53

a man sized fishy

37:56

in a van, I'm

37:58

selling cucumber sticks. They're

38:01

good, trust me. Meanwhile,

38:05

across town, a young foodie named Imogen

38:07

was about to make a discovery. I

38:15

was traveling down Mid-Munchtown when I

38:17

heard the news Something

38:20

new to eat down

38:23

on Doo-Doo Street It's

38:26

true the population's only

38:28

three But

38:30

I raced to see if

38:32

it could truly be My

38:37

favorite tree sold

38:39

on the street Cucumbers

38:44

Cucumbers for sale! Cucumbers!

38:47

But it's at the fan instead

38:49

of a man A

38:53

cucumber Oh,

38:55

a customer! Boo,

38:57

boo, boo! Business

38:59

has been slow That's so sad

39:01

you have no customers! I feel

39:03

sorry for you Boo,

39:06

boo, boo! Do you have any ideas?

39:09

Maybe if you had a more thematically

39:11

relevant van with better music Boo,

39:13

boo, boo! That could work Hey,

39:15

this is giving me an idea

39:20

That cucumber man and his noise had

39:22

been, they were wrong So

39:25

I built a pickle that would drop a

39:27

guy to cucumbers and I sold my own

39:30

Cucumbers for life! Cucumbers

39:33

for life! Yeah,

39:35

we played hard luck, yeah, we played death

39:37

metal and they're cute so cold and fresh

39:40

All the people came and together they

39:42

sang The name of the

39:44

food truck that's the best Cucumbers

39:48

for life! Cucumbers

39:50

for life! Cucumbers

39:58

for life! Cucumbers

40:00

for life And

40:16

only Imogen And only I Lived

40:19

happily Lived happily Ever

40:21

after I'm

40:24

so green and so sad And

40:27

only I Imogen Lived

40:29

happily Happily Ever

40:32

after I'm sorry

40:34

Cucumber Man Don't

40:37

worry about me Imogen, I'm a cucumber I'll

40:40

be just Brian I'm so

40:42

green and so

40:49

sad

40:56

Balloon in

40:59

space I've

41:04

conquered land, I've conquered sky

41:07

Made it to the other

41:09

side No

41:11

more danger, nothing's

41:14

stopping me Now

41:17

I float throughout a

41:19

space Feel

41:21

the starlight sweet embrace

41:24

Safe to say

41:26

that nothing's popping

41:28

me Then

41:30

I'll witness through the void

41:33

A fast approaching

41:36

asteroid Maybe

41:38

I spoke too soon I'm

41:41

ready to meet my doom

41:44

I knew I would surely

41:46

die At the

41:49

moment we'd collide I

41:52

opened my eyes, the

41:55

asteroid just popped I'm

41:58

incredible, I'll keep

42:00

on going floating,

42:03

floating,

42:06

keep floating to the

42:08

top. Don't

42:11

never ever drop,

42:13

just keep on

42:15

floating, floating.

42:18

I hope I'll

42:21

never stop. I

42:24

hope I'll never

42:27

pop. I never

42:29

doubted for a

42:35

minute the universe rocked.

42:37

I know I'd win.

42:40

Check the scoreboard. I'm

42:42

the champion of space.

42:46

I was wrong as

42:48

a black hole. Darkest

42:50

lightlessness I'm told. I

42:53

definitely spoke too soon. Both

42:57

earlier and right now.

42:59

In constant darkness, sums

43:01

of murse. This balloon

43:04

is shot to burst.

43:07

I opened my eyes. The

43:09

black hole just passed. I'm

43:12

the king of space. I'll

43:14

keep on floating,

43:18

floating, keep

43:20

floating to

43:22

the top.

43:24

Don't never

43:26

ever drop,

43:28

just keep on floating,

43:31

floating. I

43:34

know I'll

43:36

never stop.

43:39

I know I'll

43:42

never invincible. I'm

43:45

space-inducible.

43:49

That's a thing I just made

43:52

up, cause I'm invincible in space.

43:56

Unstoppable, un-pop-able. No

43:59

longer prim or

44:01

probable I'll pop

44:04

the next thing I see

44:06

in this place Right

44:10

there, there's a knife There's a

44:12

knife Floating there Floating there Technically

44:14

that's called a space knife Is

44:17

it sharp? Is it sharp? As

44:19

if I care How to care

44:21

No, I won't fear for my

44:23

space life So come on and

44:25

face me You

44:28

cannot erase me

44:31

You're the one who's gonna

44:33

pop Huh?

44:38

What was that? Oh,

44:40

I think I popped that balloon You

44:43

did pop me space knife You

44:45

were a worthy adversary What?

44:49

Worthy? I wasn't

44:51

really trying so It was destiny

44:55

Um, okay! Nice to meet

44:57

you too! It's

45:43

the Story Pirates back to

45:45

school Mixtape 2024 And

45:49

I'm your host DJ

45:51

Squirmala A squirm

45:53

squirmid Yeah, a squirm squirmid

45:56

That last track was the balloon

45:58

that never stopped floating by

46:00

Jack, a six-year-old in Tennessee.

46:03

And now, sadly, we've reached the

46:05

final song of today's mix tape.

46:07

But first, I want to wish

46:10

all of you wormies out there

46:12

a great school year.

46:15

You got this. And

46:18

now, from seven-year-old Natalie in

46:20

Massachusetts, here's, I

46:23

Have a Cookie, DJ

46:25

Squirmalot, out! Ow! I

46:31

have a huge

46:34

cookie. And

46:37

I'm going to eat it. Yes,

46:40

you heard me. Now

46:42

I have a

46:45

huge cookie. And

46:50

I'm going to eat it. Well, it took

46:52

me years. It took me years to eat

46:54

that cookie. Yeah, it took me years. It

46:57

took me years to eat that cookie. It

46:59

took me years. It took me years to

47:01

eat that cookie. And I'm not even done

47:03

yet. It took years. It took me

47:05

years to eat that cookie. It took me

47:07

years. It took me years

47:09

to eat that cookie. It took

47:12

me years to eat that cookie. Oh, I'm

47:14

not even done yet. It's

47:17

taken me forever. It's

47:19

taken me forever. It's

47:22

taken me forever. To

47:25

eat that cookie. It's taken me forever.

47:28

It's taken me forever.

47:30

It's taken me forever.

47:34

It's taken me forever. To

47:36

eat that cookie. To

47:40

eat that cookie. I

47:44

have a used cookie. And it's taking

47:47

me a while to eat it. Oh,

47:50

I have a used cookie. And

47:52

it's taking me a while to eat

47:55

it. It's taken me a while

47:57

to eat it. And it's taken me a while

47:59

to eat it. Oh,

48:02

I'm a hundred years old

48:05

now, and the earth is

48:07

destroyed by now. Yes,

48:24

I'm a hundred years old

48:27

now, and the

48:29

earth is destroyed by now.

48:42

But the cookie still lives. The

48:46

cookie still lives. The

48:49

cookie still lives. The

48:53

cookie still lives. The cookie

48:55

still lives. The

49:17

cookie still lives. The cookie

49:19

still lives. The

49:27

cookie still lives. That looks

49:29

delicious. The cookie

49:31

still lives. Where it get that

49:33

cookie? The cookie still

49:36

lives. The cookie still lives.

49:38

The cookie still lives.