0:00

I'm gonna go Saturday in

0:02

the morning to the synagogue here.

0:06

She wasn't having it. You

0:09

step out of this house, you're

0:11

out for good. So

0:14

I told her, okay, I'm telling you right

0:16

now, you take a foot out of

0:18

this door, I'm gonna spank you,

0:20

and you're gonna remember what my name

0:22

is. So I questioned her, why are

0:24

you so upset? You didn't tell me to be

0:26

Christian, Catholic, anything. Why does it bother you? So

0:29

she said, you're gonna sit down, and

0:31

that's it. So I said, okay, fine. I

0:34

sat down, everybody, weekends,

0:36

watch TV, football, soccer, whatever, chips,

0:38

sit down in the living room.

0:40

I took a pillow, and

0:43

I covered my face. She

0:46

said, what are you doing? Told her, Shabbos, we don't

0:48

watch TV. She called

0:51

my phone, and I picked up, Shabbos,

0:53

we don't answer the phone. We

0:55

don't touch electricity. Sat

0:57

down like a mensch for the first time in my

0:59

life with Borchalah, whatever

1:02

food, I sat down to eat

1:04

in front of everybody. And I did this for a

1:06

couple Shabbos. She

1:09

didn't let me go, and I

1:11

would cover my face, and I would sleep through

1:13

the whole Shabbos. And

1:16

during those weeks,

1:19

I would dive into a Shabbos. She's

1:21

not gonna back down that quickly, help

1:23

me that it should work. Hey,

1:26

everybody, what's going on? Acha here from Meaningful

1:28

People, and we are re-airing an episode that

1:31

was so, so popular that maybe some of

1:33

our new listeners, or old listeners, did not

1:36

get to yet. That is with Mayor Weiss,

1:38

a journey that you won't believe, unless you hear

1:41

it straight from his mouth, and that's what we're

1:43

giving you the opportunity to do. This

1:46

episode, this story, is

1:48

family-friendly, perfect for you

1:51

on the way wherever you're going home, and maybe if

1:53

you're just staying home, watch,

1:55

enjoy, listen, have a

1:57

beautiful Yontif. You

2:00

are listening to the Meaningful

2:03

People podcast. The podcast featuring

2:05

our nation's most impactful, influential,

2:08

and meaningful people. Thank

2:12

you so much, Mayor, for coming in. And

2:15

I want to thank Elie Schwab, Elie

2:17

Schwab, for introducing us, and

2:20

Yoni Jonathan Kirshner as well. We

2:23

met at Bar Mitzvah, and

2:25

it was really great to meet you. And

2:28

we really appreciate that you came into the office. I

2:30

understand from them... Actually work there. What's

2:32

that? I worked there. Of

2:35

course. Of course. I

2:37

don't think so. We met on... Oh,

2:39

they told me about you at the

2:42

Bar Mitzvah. Eronious. Very deep. Yeah.

2:45

My bad. Yeah, I'm like, he's talking about a Bar

2:47

Mitzvah. I'm like, what are you talking about? No, so

2:49

Elie Schwab made a Bar Mitzvah not long ago, as

2:51

did Jonathan Kirshner. Yeah, correct. Jonathan also

2:54

made it. Exactly. It was like

2:56

making Bar Mitzvah. Oh, we're both wearing glasses? Yeah, we're

2:58

not wearing glasses. We're wearing glasses. Yeah. That's

3:00

a good plan, but okay. Very deep. Yeah, but

3:02

this is on the outside. This is one of those guests that

3:04

you were somewhere, and, yo, this guy would be great. Yeah. And

3:07

then you bumped into Mayer in the place where he works.

3:09

People ask me that a lot, by the way. How

3:11

do you get your guests? Where do they come from?

3:15

Because someone's like, oh, I have a great idea. And I'm like, they

3:17

come from these conversations. Totally. The

3:20

ones that we're having. To be honest, I didn't even think

3:22

as deep to come. I was like,

3:24

podcasts, meaningful people podcasts. I heard about it.

3:26

I heard of it. Like

3:29

we had whatever. Like I

3:31

had a couple of people who mentioned it prior

3:35

and I saw some videos on YouTube and I heard,

3:37

I was like, you know what? Maybe

3:40

it sounds like a good idea. Outside your comfort

3:42

zone? Yes. Yeah.

3:45

I'm usually usually very quiet. I'm

3:49

usually hiding behind

3:51

everybody. I'm quiet. So

3:54

whatever. Even though we don't have

3:56

an audience, I still feel like, you know, a little bit nervous. So

4:01

I guess, you know, let's

4:03

delve into the story of Mayor Weiss. You

4:05

know, I know you said that you like

4:07

to sit in the back, stay hidden, and

4:09

I'm sure many people have stood next to

4:11

you and they don't know your journey, your

4:13

story. So if you can, I

4:15

guess take us from the beginning. What was your upbringing

4:18

like? Where did you grow up? Right. So

4:20

I was born in Manhattan. I spent about, I think, two

4:22

years there. I don't

4:24

have big memories on Manhattan,

4:27

but I know that growing

4:29

up, I moved to the

4:31

Bronx. I'm a

4:33

child of two

4:36

Mexican immigrants and

4:39

I'm the middle child of

4:41

two older sisters, two younger brothers. So

4:45

I grew up in the Bronx. We weren't

4:47

the wealthiest, but my

4:50

uncle actually owned the property where we owned,

4:52

where we lived and he rented it out

4:54

to his family. And

4:56

growing up there was, it

5:00

was difficult. And at the same time,

5:02

it was, I don't

5:05

know, I always

5:07

look at things like the day,

5:09

looking backwards, it was like one of the

5:11

biggest parts of my life growing up because

5:14

I learned a lot then.

5:18

I lived there, I think, probably until I

5:20

was like eight and

5:24

I went to public school there and I had very good

5:26

teachers at school who

5:29

really affected my

5:31

life because they,

5:35

as I'm going to mention later, they

5:37

were very big pillars

5:39

to the buildup of

5:41

my personality. When

5:46

I moved to Brooklyn, Bushwick, there

5:49

my uncle sold the property in the Bronx

5:51

after a couple of years and we moved

5:53

to Brooklyn. There

5:58

was a bigger apartment, whatever. Jewish

8:00

market. I spoke to somebody who was apparently

8:02

the manager and I

8:04

asked him if he's looking for to hire anybody and

8:08

he said he asked me how old

8:10

are you until I'm 15. He said

8:12

no way. So

8:15

I said okay fine I walked out. On

8:18

the way out I saw that my

8:21

sister's husband worked there. I

8:24

saw he was working there. You hadn't known that

8:26

prior. I hadn't known that prior. First

8:29

Hashkacha Prathes. Yes so I go to him and

8:31

I tell him like you know I

8:34

want to I'm looking for a

8:36

job. He asked me like what are you doing here? I'm looking for

8:38

a job. That was that.

8:41

They make nothing of it and over

8:43

the weekend he told me like

8:46

oh there's a manager there you could

8:48

speak to. He's a cool guy. Gave

8:50

him his number. Text him. Call

8:52

him. Tell him that I sent you and that's it.

8:56

Fine I called this guy. And that'll be

8:58

on Saturday night whatever I call Saturday night

9:00

and I told him look I'm related to such and such.

9:03

I'm looking for a job. Are you looking to hire? So

9:05

he said yeah yeah come through. Fine.

9:09

I walk into this place. It was Thursday

9:12

night. Thursday afternoon. Hectic. Supermarket.

9:14

I'm like what's going on here? And

9:17

I couldn't talk to him for like two minutes and until I

9:19

pulled him over and I said you know like so

9:22

he tells me yeah fine you could

9:25

start next week. I'm like that's

9:27

it. So

9:30

I started working and

9:32

I started just packing groceries. That

9:37

was your first exposure to the Heimerschr

9:39

culture that it's not what you know

9:41

it's who you know. Correct. And this

9:43

was this was an addition to continuing

9:45

your schooling? Correct. Okay. So the supermarket

9:47

the name of

9:49

it is Chestnut supermarket in

9:52

Williamsburg. It's owned by Moshe

9:54

Lezalando. And maybe I should

9:56

have said the age because whatever.

10:01

But anyways, he

10:04

so I started working and three years

10:06

later, read it. And

10:09

I started working there. Once I

10:11

started working there, there

10:14

was nothing really to it. Started

10:16

working. I was packing bags, big rocket

10:18

science house, whatever. Although it's not

10:20

easy. Yeah. I try opening one of these bags

10:22

sometimes they get stuck together. I have a lot

10:24

of respect for the people back in the banks.

10:26

Yeah. So, um,

10:28

then like Paysach season came in and

10:32

Pesach was like a 10 fold

10:36

of what I was used to like working and

10:39

I was promoted to register. So

10:42

I started scanning people out. That's

10:44

when I started talking to people more because

10:46

as a packing bags, you're not really

10:49

talking to anybody. So

10:51

I started talking to people

10:53

and one of the people

10:55

who I, who I spoke to, um, was

10:58

the person who was in charge of the

11:00

Bismuthish next to Chestnut. So Chestnut

11:02

is sitting on Myrtle Avenue right

11:05

next to there's a Satmuth Bismuthish and

11:08

he was the one person in charge of this

11:10

message and he wanted me to, I know how to speak

11:12

Spanish. So he wanted me to speak to

11:14

the go. I'm now working there to the

11:16

workers that are working there. And,

11:19

um, by the way, am I not

11:21

to say going? Yeah. Yeah. And

11:27

so I used to translate for them back

11:29

and forth. One day I was,

11:32

it was,

11:34

I think it was in the

11:37

morning, um, Sunday,

11:40

I think on Sunday and I walked in

11:43

and, um, I found like people

11:46

in Bismuthish early, like

11:49

the afternoon. And

11:51

I'm like, what's going on here? So

11:54

this kept going on for a couple more

11:56

times. I used to walk into Bismuthish and like

11:59

nothing. I was comfortable. One

12:01

day in the afternoon I went in and I'm hearing like,

12:04

khoilis, one of the

12:06

chadudim there, there was somebody

12:08

who was davening for the ummit, but he

12:10

was loud, sharp, his voice was nice, and

12:12

I like, just like, curiosity

12:15

struck, and I walked in like a little bit. I

12:18

didn't know they were in the middle of a minion,

12:20

but they were davening menchah, and

12:23

this guy who was by the ummit, I see he's

12:25

chuckling a little bit, and he's like, really

12:27

emotional when he's davening. I was like,

12:30

what's going on? I'm like, what is this? So,

12:33

I went to the best rabbi. Can

12:35

I interject? Did you have, growing up,

12:38

did you have any exposure to going to church, or

12:42

prayer, any kind of organized

12:44

spiritual work? So my father

12:46

was Catholic, is

12:48

not sure. My

12:52

mother was

12:55

not religious.

12:58

She doesn't really belong anywhere,

13:01

but she believes in God. And

13:04

one of the things growing up that was

13:08

very important, which brings me back to the

13:10

Bronx, because in the

13:12

Bronx we had a period

13:15

of time where my mother and my both

13:17

parents separated, and

13:20

my mother couldn't handle everything financially,

13:26

and my mother used to always tell me, you know,

13:28

like, I don't know where he

13:30

is, who he is, or what he is, but

13:33

know there's God in the world. So

13:36

you have to, before you go to sleep,

13:39

always pray. Thank for the day, and

13:42

ask God to give you another day, more

13:45

blessings, and that's it. Is

13:47

that something that you did, that you practiced? Yes. You

13:50

did? Yes. As

13:53

a young, I'm just curious, what would those prayers look like,

13:55

if you could give us a peek? So...

14:01

Again, one of

14:03

the most important things for me has

14:06

always been family. And even

14:08

regardless now that I converted and I became

14:11

Jewish, I have a close connection to my

14:13

mother because as you guys understand a little

14:15

bit later, she has like, I'm not here

14:20

where I'm sitting today without her. So

14:26

my understanding then was

14:28

not like a person who's 18,

14:31

knows life a little bit. My

14:35

understanding then was, you know, I wanted

14:38

to help my mother. My mother, then my

14:40

mother should have strength that we should be

14:42

able to continue going

14:44

and we should

14:46

be healthy and I should have toys and I should have

14:48

this. These were my prayers. And

14:54

yeah, so in reference to that question, that

14:56

was that. But

14:59

this always, it carried

15:03

along through the years. Like it went from one

15:05

thing to another to another to another. For

15:08

me, one of my strongest things today

15:10

in Yiddish Ged is Tvilla. By

15:13

far it's one of the, it

15:15

is the connection that I have with Hashem. And

15:19

you encountered that for the first time in

15:22

that Satnur Bismandirish during that minute.

15:24

Correct. So you knew what they

15:26

were doing. You knew they were. I didn't know what

15:29

they were doing. Only after I found out, I went

15:31

to Google, Chabad popped up. And

15:34

you must have been so confused. I always wondered.

15:36

I was confused because you have, you know, somebody

15:38

standing by the, by the, by the,

15:42

By Bimadar and Kaddas. And

15:45

he's shuckling and he's davening. And usually like

15:47

the standards are, are, are like, not,

15:50

they're slanted, right? So he's like going like this. I'm

15:53

like, what is this guy doing? Like,

15:55

so I went to Google and I typed in like,

15:57

what do Jewish people do in the afternoon? Bob

16:00

pops up afternoon

16:02

prayers. I went in and

16:05

they had a link to the Shmanessa and

16:08

I was reading through it. I

16:10

was like, wow, it's nice prayer. So

16:13

I started looking at the procedure,

16:15

like ABCs, what do I have to

16:18

do here? And

16:20

then at

16:23

work, as I was learning

16:25

more and more and more, I was asking more.

16:28

So people at

16:30

the beginning is kind of

16:33

interesting because I started doing things

16:35

and asking questions

16:38

to be funny, but really it was

16:40

because I was embarrassed to ask people like,

16:42

this is interesting. I want to know more.

16:45

So I had a very good

16:47

connection with customers and the managers there.

16:50

Because just because I was a good worker and they

16:52

knew me from the store and I was very, like,

16:54

you know, talkative. And so

16:58

I used to ask questions and

17:02

the buildup of those questions led to,

17:04

to, to me being like,

17:07

okay, one day I was like, you know

17:09

what? I want to wear a couple. Yarmulke.

17:13

So I started, it started as a joke, but

17:16

really it wasn't a joke because I had read

17:18

on Chabad that, that there was a

17:20

story of a Ganaf that the mother was crying,

17:23

whatever, and told him if he

17:25

covers his head, he won't be, he won't

17:27

be a thief. So when I

17:29

read the story, I was like, what's,

17:32

what's shot? Like, whoa. What is this?

17:35

So I said, you know what? He

17:37

covered my head. I was like,

17:40

that shows fear of heaven. What does it show?

17:42

Like what? So I

17:44

put on a Yarmulke, only in, only in

17:46

the grocery and people thought it was funny and they

17:48

laughed and this internally, it wasn't funny

17:51

for me, but nobody knew this. Cause I,

17:53

I, I myself wasn't sure what

17:55

this was leading to. And

17:57

then as time went on. on,

18:00

like people started getting friendly with me, people like

18:02

quiz me on different things and I would answer.

18:04

And I don't think

18:06

people really thought much of it. One

18:10

day I had somebody,

18:13

one of the customers, he was technically my

18:15

friend also, he comes into the grocery and

18:19

probably had a day off. He was

18:21

like upset. He comes and he

18:23

rips off my amica and he tells me,

18:26

you can't have it. I

18:28

told him, why?

18:30

He's like, what do you think this is a joke?

18:34

What are you doing? And

18:37

I was like, nothing.

18:40

I'm just covering my head. So

18:43

I put on my hoodie, I had a hoodie then. So

18:45

I covered my head with a hoodie.

18:47

He's like, why are you taking it away from me? You

18:49

want to talk to me? He was upset. He

18:52

went to the back of the grocery, wanted to smoke

18:54

a cigarette, whatever. And I

18:56

followed him out. I was like, give me my capo. And he's

18:58

like, what do you think this is a joke? This

19:01

is a joke to you? And

19:03

then he was a strong,

19:06

a lot of koch. And

19:08

I managed to squeeze

19:10

out the amica from his hand and

19:12

he said something that really hurt

19:15

me. Like he said, you're

19:17

a lost fish in the sea. Wow.

19:21

And I thought about it. And that's

19:23

why it hurt me because I really was. And

19:26

I said, why does it

19:28

hurt me so much? The

19:30

reason was because I was, I

19:32

didn't have direction, I didn't have happiness

19:35

and I was missing something. So

19:39

I started learning more about, want to open a

19:42

parentheses, something that you said that just struck me

19:44

as very insightful. When

19:46

a person encounters an

19:48

insult, if a person

19:50

is confident that what the aggressor

19:52

is saying is not true, then

19:55

it's not so hurtful. It's like me saying to

19:57

you're an alien. Right. It doesn't bother you. I'm

19:59

not an alien. So totally doesn't have an

20:01

effect. But when, when a person

20:03

hits on a cord, when there's this

20:05

thread of truth underlying it, that's,

20:08

that opens up a wound. Correct. And,

20:11

and, and as a result, like he,

20:13

he mentioned this to me and I was, there was two people

20:15

in the, in the, in the room. And

20:17

one of them was like, just like, you didn't know what

20:20

to do. He was like, why, why are you treating him

20:22

like that? But he didn't say anything.

20:24

And then this guy was just like upset. They

20:27

off or whatever. And then

20:29

like, I, I didn't want to cry in front

20:31

of them. So I just like,

20:33

I was like, you know what, forget it. I

20:35

walked out and then I went

20:39

to the side and like I started, I started crying.

20:41

I felt bad. And

20:43

at the moment I didn't, I

20:46

couldn't explain why, but I, I

20:48

like to, I have a reflection process and

20:50

I, I'm con like, it's constant for me,

20:52

like every day at the end of

20:54

the day, it's like, what happened today? How

20:57

did you change? What did you do? And,

20:59

and, and that night I was like, why does it hurt

21:01

me so much? And I,

21:04

it was because of that, because I was really

21:07

lost. I didn't have a purpose in my life

21:09

and I felt empty. And

21:11

then I was already making, I was

21:13

making some money. I didn't have any

21:15

expenses, right? The best life possible money,

21:17

no expenses. So I had nice clothes,

21:21

shoes, everything. Living

21:23

the dream. Correct. Oh yeah. Where did

21:25

you develop that, uh, that daily reflection

21:27

process? That sounds really cool. In

21:30

the Bronx because, because

21:35

when my parents separated, I had

21:39

two sisters, a younger brother

21:41

and a newborn then,

21:44

and they all, they

21:47

all gravitate to me for,

21:49

for, for direction. So

21:52

I'm basically, uh, what

21:55

if a six year old thinking

21:58

from my brothers and sisters. Right. So

22:00

they seek the direction and confidence in me. So

22:02

I had to think, yeah,

22:05

like I knew that my

22:07

parents weren't together. How

22:09

do I

22:11

make it better for them as well? You know,

22:13

like how do I make it less

22:16

painful for them to understand that we

22:18

don't have money for this or

22:20

we didn't have money for that, right? I

22:24

remember, I used

22:27

to sleep on a pink elephant bed. I was

22:29

a boy. Yeah, what boy wants to

22:31

sleep on a pink elephant bed, right? But

22:35

this is what my mother had. And

22:37

it's not like she didn't want to provide for me. She

22:40

just couldn't, right? So

22:42

how do I explain this to a kid younger

22:45

than me? That we are sleeping on

22:47

a pink elephant bed because we don't have the

22:49

money to, right? He doesn't understand this. So

22:53

I had to mature much quicker and

22:57

I had to explain it to him. I

23:01

made something out of it. I don't remember exactly, but

23:03

I think I made like, oh, this is so cool

23:05

and whatever. So the

23:07

reflection process started happening internally for me,

23:09

like why is this happening to us?

23:12

Like, why is my father

23:14

here? Like, does he love us? Does he

23:16

not love us? Like, why is he not

23:18

a part of my life, right? And

23:22

my mother was also helping me answer

23:24

some things because I was very vocal. Like

23:26

if I had a question, I would ask and

23:28

she would answer, you know, she would

23:31

always be good, positive. And

23:34

that's where that reflection process started. And

23:37

as you get older, once you're accustomed to

23:39

do something, like it just becomes like a

23:41

habit. And I

23:44

like, in a sense, I

23:46

think, now that I'm thinking

23:48

about it a little bit more, in

23:51

a sense, like I want it

23:53

to be not like my father. So

23:56

I had to develop traits. completely

24:00

opposite to his. Right. Was it something

24:02

that you were worried about? Like,

24:05

were you worried that you were gonna be like

24:07

your father? In essence, I'm still to this day.

24:09

You're still worried about that. And

24:12

that's why you work on developing

24:14

character traits. Yeah.

24:19

Because I feel that

24:21

that one of the most

24:23

important things that a child sees

24:27

on a daily basis are his parents and

24:30

you could sniff the truth and

24:33

the fake. Yeah. So I

24:35

feel like, I

24:38

mean, I remember all

24:41

the important people in my life. They

24:45

had something that I just

24:47

remember them by and it

24:49

ends up being that this is their main attribute,

24:52

their main quality. So

24:56

I don't want my children to see

24:58

a reflection of anything

25:01

that he didn't show me and

25:05

so I always have. I

25:07

grew up with him, right? So and he

25:09

was part of my life later when they got back together.

25:12

So I was always on the constant, like it

25:14

was a constant battle. Like he's my father and

25:16

I know he works hard and but I don't

25:18

see him. Like he's not like

25:20

he was my mother was my father and

25:22

mother, right? So although he was

25:25

present in the house, like he

25:27

lived there. I didn't have a father like

25:30

he just wasn't there. Right. And

25:32

and as you grow up, I'm pretty

25:34

sure there's a lot of things that that

25:36

that that kids want to speak to with

25:38

a male role model and

25:41

challenges that you have that I didn't

25:43

get to necessarily speak to him, but

25:46

a Shameless is very, he

25:48

helped me out a lot of as

25:50

I converted before you knew I sound correct

25:53

that that that I was able to talk

25:55

to the right people and he put the

25:57

right people in front of me that in

26:00

a sense made up for all that time

26:02

that I didn't have a father. Khazal sayyizu

26:04

khaqam hal lum min mikal odom. And

26:07

hopefully we have enough people that we can learn

26:09

from what to do. But

26:12

sometimes there are people in our life and we have to

26:14

find a way to learn from them also. Sometimes what not

26:16

to do. Right. Once

26:23

I started getting

26:26

more knowledgeable on Yiddish Gight, I

26:30

started asking myself like constantly,

26:34

what do you want to do? Why are you learning? Like,

26:38

where is this going? Why are you doing this? Like,

26:40

you don't really have a purpose on doing it. Like

26:42

learning anything like whoa. It was the

26:44

end game. Yeah. Right. And I was like, I'm

26:46

just curious. So

26:50

it led to another thing. And I used to hear

26:52

Sheedam. And I was

26:54

so intrigued. Like, and

26:58

I had a feeling. I had a

27:00

feeling something warm, like almost

27:02

like belong. Like I belonged there.

27:06

Like my being was

27:10

treading in the right direction. And

27:13

so I reached out to a

27:15

rabbi in Bar-aparq and

27:19

he told me, look

27:21

for the nearest Khabat house. Speak

27:24

to the rabbi. And if

27:26

he wants to teach you,

27:28

I'll guide you. Okay.

27:32

Go back on khabat.com. Type,

27:35

put in my zip code. Ends

27:38

up being that behind

27:40

my house, two blocks down,

27:43

it was Khabat house. Look

27:46

at the stories that are about to begin. It's

27:50

not exactly in Yehuppitzville. This is a... I

27:53

called the Khabat house and the

27:55

rabbi said, the rabbi. Okay,

27:58

fine. Meet me tomorrow. more

28:00

on 7-7. I

28:02

told him what time he says. Seven o'clock.

28:04

Well, he would have said 7-7-D if

28:06

it existed that time. Probably

28:09

seem to say like 8-10 or something. So

28:13

I woke up 7 o'clock. I'm going to ask me, where are you

28:15

going? Told her I need to

28:17

go to school early. Then there was like

28:19

regions, whatever. I was like, they're making a

28:21

pre-class for regions. I wanted to go. So

28:24

this was my, I get

28:26

there and I see a guy

28:29

standing on the corner. I'm

28:31

like, Jinji beard, almost like

28:33

orange. I'm like, I

28:36

know this guy from somewhere. Ends

28:39

up being that this

28:42

rabbi from the Ridgwick community, um,

28:47

used to go to a barber shop that

28:50

is owned by Russian Jews or not religious. And

28:54

I happened to be there once with

28:57

my brother. They were my barbers. I

29:01

was sitting there

29:03

with my brother and we were covering

29:05

our faces. Cause it was funny. Like this guy's coming in

29:08

blowing on a piece of stick. Like what's

29:10

the guy doing? We're laughing there. And

29:13

that memory just came back and I said, asked him,

29:15

you were at this barbershop. He's

29:19

like, yeah. He was like those. And

29:21

he explained to me the whole story on these,

29:23

um, you know, these, um, these, um,

29:25

these, um, these, um, these, um, sorry

29:28

on these, um, you check into there. He

29:31

was, he ended up being my, my, my,

29:33

my teacher. Wow. What was,

29:36

what you, you, you mind saying his name? I

29:39

don't, his first name is no him. Okay. Um,

29:41

his last name is a little bit tricky. Can

29:44

I check? You said

29:47

orange beard. My name has been awesome. I'm just

29:49

making sure it wasn't me. You know, just

29:52

make sure from blues and skills. Not so

29:54

good. I

29:57

have him save the rabbi. No,

30:00

Rabbi Nuchom. Be sure my nachom ain't no

30:02

beithen. No, it's no weight. No

30:04

weight, it was nachom or anything. Who?

30:08

Sarveitchef. Sarveitchef. If

30:10

you could just turn it down, I just

30:12

want to... Yeah, perfect. Okay, perfect. Okay,

30:15

Sarveitchef. Rabbi Nuchom. Rabbi Nuchom, Sarveitchef.

30:17

Yeah. Kewaat.

30:20

So, it's like pretty trippy. Like,

30:23

you were blowing the show from the barbershop and

30:26

I want to become Jewish now. No,

30:29

this was... So, when I saw

30:31

him then in Crown Heights, this

30:34

memory was from like a couple months ago,

30:36

whatever. I don't remember exactly the time, but

30:38

I remember being there with my brother

30:40

and him walking in and building the

30:42

Shofa. So, I asked

30:46

him, he was like, yes. So, I learned with him

30:49

every single day, I think

30:52

about a year, and

30:54

he was giving feedback to the Shofa,

30:57

was leading the conversion until it was

31:01

said and done. And

31:05

then I was coming home.

31:08

From that time where you reached out

31:11

and sort of made up

31:13

to meet at 770, you knew already that

31:17

you were on this journey to Geras? To

31:20

be honest, at the very beginning, like the

31:22

first two weeks, I was still unsure. I

31:25

wasn't sure because I didn't

31:27

know what the response of my parents was going to

31:29

be. And

31:32

I was also testing myself a little bit. I

31:36

thought, do I see myself living

31:39

this life in the future? Do

31:42

I really want to do this? Am

31:45

I able to follow everything? What's

31:48

the purpose? Why are you doing this? That

31:50

was my main question. Why are you doing this? The

31:54

answer to that was that I was looking for something.

31:56

I was looking for closeness and I was looking for...

32:00

for closeness to God. The

32:03

question was who, which one,

32:06

which religion, which path. And

32:11

I had opportunities

32:14

to hear out other people,

32:17

but something just didn't sit right. It

32:19

was either the story didn't match. I

32:22

ask a lot of questions. If

32:24

I ask a question

32:26

and you push off a response or something's not

32:28

answered or it leaves

32:32

you with like, like, Seshmeknist.

32:35

Yeah. And, and I

32:38

asked somebody once, uh, I need from

32:40

Williamsburg, asked him a question and

32:44

he says, I don't

32:46

know the answer, but

32:48

I'm sure there's an answer. You're asking

32:50

the wrong person. I don't know,

32:53

but there is an answer. This was

32:55

for me, like, Oh, there's

32:58

answers. So who

33:00

to ask the question, how

33:02

to get the answer is the

33:04

challenge, right? But there's answers.

33:08

Toyota has the answer

33:10

to everything. You just need to find

33:12

the correct person to answer your

33:15

question. So as

33:17

I was sort of, sort of

33:19

like self testing myself, I,

33:22

I asked myself all these questions over

33:24

and over again, every week, every day,

33:27

mind you, I was going to study

33:30

with him from seven to like eight 30.

33:33

Then I would rush to high school. Then

33:36

after that I would go to work

33:38

and then three, four o'clock till

33:40

11. That was closing 12 ish

33:44

Yumtives before Yumtives. It was till 12

33:46

one. So

33:48

it took a toll and

33:51

I did, I wa I

33:53

was motivated. That's, that was what surprised me the

33:55

most. Like, I wanted to go

33:57

and, and we were learning.

34:00

Tanya has some elevated stuff like it's not.

34:02

But I was like, whoa, what's this? Like

34:05

I was so fascinated at the

34:07

different avenues of condition and this

34:10

and that. And I'm like,

34:15

where was I till now? And

34:19

then I decided, I said, I wanna

34:22

do it. So how

34:24

do I bring up the conversation to my parents?

34:26

Yeah, get home. But

34:30

online, it wasn't online actually, it was

34:32

in a store in Cron Heights, Titsis.

34:36

And then I wanted

34:39

to wear them at night. So

34:42

I took them out to packaging

34:44

and my mother sees him and she's like, what's

34:46

this? I

34:48

told her that they're Titsis. She's

34:52

like, take this out of my house. I

34:55

don't wanna see this. What's

34:57

this? You start working in a Jewish supermarket, all of a

34:59

sudden this and this and that. I

35:04

was like, I wanna wear them. I've

35:06

been studying. I

35:10

wanna wear them. No, we

35:12

weren't raised like this and this

35:14

is in our direction. I told her, oh yeah,

35:17

what's her direction? What's

35:19

our direction? Tell me what's our

35:21

direction. Couldn't

35:24

answer. Exactly, we don't

35:26

have a direction. We're just

35:28

floating through life every single day. One

35:32

day you tell me pray to God, who's that

35:34

God? I don't know, we'll figure

35:36

it out. I think I figured it out.

35:40

Mother was hurt. I'm

35:43

a chit-serve. You told

35:45

her that she was a fish lost at sea. Right.

35:48

And she didn't say anything but she grounded

35:50

me and

35:53

that's when I felt like

35:55

I'm good with my decision. Why

36:00

did you feel Ben, you go with your decision? Because

36:04

if I had the guts to take that step and

36:07

just speak out like that to my mother, I

36:09

respect my mother very much. Right. It

36:14

was like a natural instinct for me to defend what I

36:16

believed in. And

36:20

I thought, you know, I felt

36:22

good. I felt good afterwards. Felt right. And

36:26

happens to be that that weekend

36:28

Shabbos, the rabbi told me, come to my

36:30

show Shabbos. He walks from Kranites

36:32

all the way to Ridgewood, which is like about an hour

36:34

and a half, two hour walk, every

36:37

Shabbos. And he said, come

36:39

down. We're making a minion. You could be

36:41

part of the Shabbos prayers. So

36:44

I told my mother, I'm going to go Saturday

36:46

in the morning to the synagogue

36:49

here. Wasn't

36:52

having it. You

36:54

step out of this house. You're

36:56

out for good. So

36:59

I told her, okay. She

37:01

said, I'm telling you right now,

37:03

you take a foot out

37:05

of this door. I'm going to spank

37:08

you and you're going to remember what my name

37:10

is. So

37:12

I question that. Why are you so upset? You

37:15

didn't you didn't tell me to be something.

37:19

You didn't tell me to be Christian, Catholic, anything. Why

37:21

does it bother you? We

37:23

didn't grow up like this. So

37:26

we, you don't, my

37:29

mother's very different from her family. She's

37:31

the one outcast. You're

37:33

different from everybody else. I'm different

37:36

from everybody else too. Something exactly

37:38

like you. Didn't

37:40

answer, but she wasn't having it. So

37:42

she said, you're going to sit down and that's

37:44

it. So I said, okay, fine. I

37:47

sat down. Everybody weekends, watch

37:49

TV, football, soccer, whatever chips, sit

37:51

down in the living room. I

37:53

took a pillow and I covered

37:55

my face. She said, what

38:00

are you doing? Told her Shabbos we don't watch TV.

38:09

Didn't have what to say. Called my phone.

38:12

Don't pick up. Shabbos we don't answer the

38:14

phone. We don't touch electricity.

38:17

Sat down like a mensch for the first time in

38:19

my life with I bought a challah, whatever

38:22

food. I sat down to eat in

38:24

front of everybody. She

38:27

was not having it at all. And

38:31

I did this for a couple of Shabbos. She

38:34

didn't let me go. And

38:36

I would cover my face and I

38:38

would sleep through whole Shabbos. And

38:42

during those weeks

38:44

I would dive into Hashem and

38:47

I would ask him to make it easier. Just

38:49

make it that it should go

38:52

easy. She's not going to

38:54

back down that quickly. Help me that it

38:56

should work. And

39:01

nature took its course. As

39:03

time went by she became much more sensitive to

39:05

it and she saw that I was really changing.

39:09

And I was doing nothing

39:12

wrong. I was going to school. I

39:14

was in honors. I graduated

39:16

with honors. I was doing

39:18

everything right. I was working. She didn't have what

39:20

to hold against me because I was doing the

39:23

correct thing. It's like you were rebelling. It's only

39:25

was a bad influence. Correct. Quite the opposite.

39:28

My brothers took much more different

39:30

light to me. Like I was talking

39:32

to them about different things. I was

39:35

engaging them in other ways. And

39:38

then comes Simcha Stojra. Simcha Stojra

39:40

was the first yamtiv that I spent. Fully,

39:43

fully, fully, fully. Not fully. I had to make him a lukha.

39:45

But at this point, if you don't mind

39:47

me asking, at this point, did you have converted or not?

39:51

I was still in the process. I was still

39:53

learning. You have to learn a certain amount of

39:55

time. when

40:00

you said about the walk and that you wanted

40:02

to wear a tzitzis, it's an old

40:04

joke about someone who's going through a gyrus. So

40:07

it's a problem, go to Shabbos, it's tricky.

40:10

So he wears a pair of tzitzis so

40:12

that it's extra baguette, it's not necessary. So

40:15

he's carrying on Shabbos. He gets to

40:17

wear a tzitzis and he's carrying on Shabbos. So

40:19

then the person says, oh, but there's an a-rev over here.

40:22

So he says, well, you think I hold from that a-rev? So

40:25

you had to do, so

40:27

you had to do a malachah. Which malachah did he

40:29

do? So what I would

40:31

do is, at the beginning, I would just

40:33

flick, like. Like

40:35

right when Shabbos are. Not when Shabbos are,

40:38

by the end. By the end. I made sure that it

40:40

was a malachah. Why by the end? Because

40:42

it didn't feel right. It

40:44

hurt me to do these malachahs. Meaning

40:46

you would end Shabbos earlier. Why is no is a

40:48

mahalah? While it was still Shabbos. While it was Shabbos.

40:51

Right. I'm sure according to some

40:53

of his monomies, it was not Shabbos anymore. No,

40:55

he made sure, yeah, I made sure

40:57

to, not

40:59

go into the. White after Shabbos. He wasn't holding 72 and

41:01

okay. Gevath.

41:05

And so, at that time I

41:07

was in high school. I

41:12

was in my 12th grade. Wow.

41:15

And I started going black and white. I

41:19

started growing my pious. I started putting

41:21

them behind my ear. And the

41:23

people around me just like, were just like looking at me.

41:25

The interesting part of that whole experience,

41:29

they all knew me from school. And

41:32

I was, I wouldn't say I was a

41:34

popular kid. I was a well-known person. Like

41:38

I said, I had the nicest shoes. Every

41:40

new sneaker release, I had

41:42

the best Jordans, whatever. So people gravitated

41:44

towards me. Like I was with the

41:46

cool guys. So people knew me.

41:49

What was your name? What did they know you as? Nelson. Nelson,

41:51

okay. And when

41:54

this whole change happened,

41:58

they were like a little bit shocked, but they.

42:00

at the same time, they were like understanding in

42:02

a weird way. And I actually

42:04

had a friend, his name was Lamar. Once

42:07

I started explaining to him a little bit more, like, you

42:09

know, I can't touch women, like there has to be like,

42:13

I can't physically touch them. I can only, you know,

42:15

whatever. He used to walk with me through

42:18

the halls. And he used

42:20

to see like, it was, it's natural for people to

42:22

greet each other. Hey, good morning. A hug and a

42:24

kiss on the cheek, right? So

42:26

he'd be like, no, he's Jewish. He can't, he

42:28

can't. Hey, he was your bouncer. Yeah. And

42:32

so I didn't have such a negative

42:35

experience, right? And they, I used

42:37

to talk to them also, and

42:40

they used to understand me and they supported

42:42

me like my friends. And

42:45

so I was going, starting with the

42:47

Levish, slowly, slowly, slowly. And

42:50

my mother was seeing it also. And

42:52

then I decided I wanted to go to

42:54

Etz a Su. I was 17. It was 17 July,

42:57

August. I

43:00

decided I wanted to go to Etz a Su. So

43:05

this was July

43:07

was when I finished my conversion. So

43:09

what happened there was, I skipped

43:12

the chunk. What happened there was the

43:19

rabbi who was guiding me, his name was Avroom Reich.

43:22

He put together the based

43:24

in, he

43:26

checked on my progress and he was

43:28

happy with it. So we started

43:31

with the verse, got a, got

43:35

a circumcision. Then you

43:37

have to heal. At 17. Yeah.

43:40

Technically, that's a problem because they're not allowed to

43:42

only 18, but I pushed them very much.

43:48

Then I had to heal and then I went to

43:50

Villa. And I

43:53

remember walking into

43:55

the water. It

43:57

was, I don't know if it was just me. the

44:00

water felt like it was 200 degrees. Wow.

44:03

Boiling hot. It wasn't... I

44:06

know what McFoo is, you know. A

44:09

high semiqua? It was boiling.

44:11

Like, I felt like boiling.

44:14

It was burning my skin. And

44:16

it wasn't that hot because afterwards I put my hand

44:18

back inside and it wasn't hot. Walking

44:21

in, it was boiling, boiling hot. And

44:24

I was thinking like, this

44:27

is it. Like, you can't

44:30

back out. If you're going forward,

44:32

you're going forward, if you can't, stop

44:34

right now. And I said, no, I'm going

44:36

to keep walking. And I went down the steps and

44:39

I was too. As

44:41

I'll say that, Ger

44:43

gets the nishama in

44:46

the emergence from the mikvah. So

44:48

the person goes in without a

44:50

nishama and that's how you're

44:52

illustrating. And in there... That's

44:55

how I felt at that moment. That's what

44:57

I felt. The sensation from the

44:59

water was boiling hot. Wow.

45:04

And I know that to

45:07

be in a mikvah, to be able to be

45:09

in a mikvah, one needs a nishama. Yeah.

45:12

Kvart. Once

45:16

that happened, the

45:18

davening was different. The learning was

45:20

different for the first week. And

45:23

then it started going down. Really? Yeah.

45:28

So the first mitzvah that I actually did

45:30

was pranzfelen. The

45:34

next morning, whatever. Davened,

45:37

shakras in 770. I

45:41

had a weird thing in my fingertips.

45:44

Like I could feel like

45:47

my body was about to come

45:49

out of my fingertips. I had a pressure on my

45:51

fingertips. I think your tfilim was too

45:53

tight. Those are those little freaks. And

45:57

I felt like when I davened, like... I

46:00

felt my, like I was getting somewhere and

46:04

happened for the first week or so. And then it

46:06

just just went

46:08

away. Yeah.

46:12

So the, so the, the, what

46:15

the intensity or the, and that's not something

46:17

that you were prepared for or you wanted.

46:19

I don't know. I

46:22

don't know. I think that's, that's the

46:24

human condition. When something is new and something is

46:26

fresh, it has an incredible his

46:29

conscious. We see it every year, like a

46:31

little Russian, shiny and Kipper people walk out

46:33

of Nila on a, on a high. And

46:35

then literally could be 27 hours later and

46:37

it's just like, not

46:40

so much. So, so, so the,

46:42

so the people who were mentoring me

46:44

then, um, when I spoke to them

46:46

about this, that's what they told me. They told me, so

46:49

you're fresh off the oven, you know, you

46:51

take out a baguette from the oven, it's

46:53

boiling. You push it down. It's full. It's

46:56

my high. Yeah. Let it

46:58

sit on the shelf two, three days becomes cold.

47:02

Well, I remember one of the, one of, he

47:04

told me, this is going to be your life struggle every

47:07

single day. You need to be burning

47:10

hot, not be cold. You see how

47:12

cold feel. Yeah. It doesn't feel like that. If

47:15

it was that, or it was something else, it was just my

47:17

mind. I don't know, but

47:19

I can only tell you when I felt. Um,

47:23

and then a lot of things started changing.

47:25

Like I was

47:27

going to Yumtiv to

47:29

people's houses. People already knew

47:31

me then the famous, um,

47:34

go that converted in the guy who worked in the grocery

47:36

who packed the bags and now is a year traded in

47:38

the Jordans for a back of. Correct. I'm

47:40

going to leave you're taking a stab at a

47:42

title over there. Well, yeah. Yeah.

47:49

Before that, I used to spend shop.

47:52

I spent Simcha story to buy

47:54

somebody. I'm one of my friends. I'm

47:57

in Williamsburg. That's where my crowd

47:59

was at. And

52:00

I felt there wasn't enough. Life

52:02

led me to decide that I needed to

52:04

go to Ertusurru to go into Yeshiva

52:06

and I had to learn full time. So

52:12

I started getting information on

52:14

Yeshivas and I ended

52:17

up coming across a Yeshiva in Yeshallaim.

52:20

It's called Todu Vemena. It's

52:22

under the guidance

52:24

of bells in Yeshallaim. And

52:28

I called over there, Cheer

52:30

or whatever, spoke to him. He

52:33

has a slot for me. So I'm

52:38

ready to fight at the Serum. Only problem is I'm 17.

52:41

Just my guy. My mother doesn't give me...

52:44

She didn't let me do the country. She

52:47

didn't let me wear titties, you think? She

52:51

still at this point you can learn she didn't come around to it. She

52:55

knew what was happening but maybe

52:58

she thought it was like a phase or something.

53:00

Like, okay, let him do it. So

53:06

once I decided to go to Ttusurru that

53:09

ended up happening. I come to her and

53:11

I tell her that I needed to sign up permission

53:15

that I... She

53:18

didn't want. And that

53:20

ended up being that I schlepped it till my birthday, my

53:22

18th birthday. And I was able to fly by myself. So

53:25

I told her, you know what? I'm gonna go. Whether

53:27

you like it or not. And

53:29

I got up and I flew. I went to

53:32

Ttusurru. I left my job. I remind you of

53:34

the day that I flew to Ttusurru. I

53:37

got a call from one of... A

53:39

big university. Offering

53:42

me a full-ride scholarship to the college. And

53:45

I was like, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to decline. Why?

53:51

You know who we are? I

53:53

said, yes, I know, but I'm flying

53:55

to Israel tomorrow. And

53:58

I'm not interested. What

54:01

university in Israel is better

54:04

than us? That's not a

54:06

university. Todavahmen.

54:11

So I get there and

54:16

that's where the new phase of Mayor Weiss. That

54:19

was the beginning of... How did

54:21

you, I guess, either

54:23

you choose the name Mayor Weiss, how did the

54:25

name Mayor Weiss come to be? It happened at

54:27

the... by the bus. By

54:30

the bus. I was contemplating different names. So

54:32

like I mentioned, like you asked me before,

54:35

what my name was. So my name was

54:37

Nelson. So everybody in the grocery anyways called

54:39

me Nusen. Nusen. So

54:44

Nusen was one

54:46

of the names. But

54:49

I always had something from Mayor. Mayor

54:51

is or, like a light.

54:55

And I remember reading somewhere then

54:57

like, guide him, bring light

54:59

to the world. The

55:02

world is dark, air brings light. So

55:06

it ended up... And

55:08

the Weiss? The Weiss was. Yiddish

55:10

was is white. Clean slate, nothing

55:12

behind me. Very good. Clean. You're

55:16

not a sirl. And you

55:18

started getting close to

55:20

bells. So I started getting close to bells, yes.

55:25

I started getting close to bells. I

55:29

was in the Yeshiva. I hadn't seen that ever

55:31

then for maybe 10 months, 11 months.

55:35

Then I was... I wasn't part

55:37

of bells. I wasn't... I had

55:39

more of a... In my mind, that was

55:41

like, you know, all I knew was Williamsburg

55:43

Satmar. So I was in that mentality. And

55:46

the Satmar ever went a couple of times to

55:48

Yishilayim. I was following him, whatever I went through.

55:51

But I didn't have anything with bells then. Then

55:55

one day Chanukah that

55:58

ever likes one... The

58:01

reason why I'm saying like, what do I have with him? Like who is he?

58:05

Is, I always liked

58:07

that male role in my life. So

58:10

I had one of the most difficult things that

58:14

I had was respecting a male authority because

58:17

I never had someone to

58:19

respect. So it was

58:21

like, oh, this guy thinks he's holy. Who is he?

58:23

Like, you know. Like

58:26

summoning me to appear. I

58:29

don't want to go. It's just a

58:31

big mehiketesi. Yeah. And

58:33

I was like, you know what? I'm fine. So

58:35

the Rebbe said, the Rosh Hashiva told me, he's

58:38

like, you know, I'm

58:40

going to tell you the information, speak to this

58:42

other, another one

58:44

from the Rebbe and the Yeshiva and he'll set you

58:46

up. So, okay, fine. So.

58:49

He was like, it's not a suggestion. He's like, you're going to be

58:51

there. It's like when you

58:53

jump out of a plane, pulling the parachute

58:55

is a suggestion. Yeah. He'll

58:58

set you up and you'll go, that's actually fine. What

59:01

do I have to do as one sharp as it doesn't work out? So

59:05

I go out and I dive into the swillows and bells and

59:10

beautiful swillows. I was very

59:13

surprised, enjoyed it. And

59:16

then get to the point where the Rebbe, the

59:18

Rebbe goes out

59:20

through his pathway in the Bismaidish

59:24

and he's walking towards

59:26

me. There's a lot of people waiting outside

59:28

of his room and

59:32

he's walking towards me and I start getting like,

59:36

shaking, I'm like, what's

59:38

going on? Like, I started getting

59:40

like a pachit. And

59:44

we go in and

59:46

we're sitting down, mind you,

59:48

there's nobody was there. Nobody

59:50

was there. The Rebbe has

59:53

a kiddish with the oil. And

59:55

I was part of that, I sat down by

59:57

the Rebbe's table and then afterwards we move into his

59:59

private dining room. where he and his family have. See

1:00:03

them. The

1:00:07

person who was in charge that he tells me,

1:00:10

you go wash yourself. I went to wash myself and

1:00:12

I sit down by the table. Nobody was

1:00:14

there. Just me and that. I'm

1:00:16

like, am I getting am

1:00:18

I getting punked? Where am I usually

1:00:21

when I when I when I did see him, it's like

1:00:23

there's like 500000 people around and

1:00:25

you're one of the here. I'm like

1:00:28

right here. I was

1:00:30

uncomfortable and I just like washed

1:00:33

them in a broken. And I'm just like looking down the

1:00:35

whole time and

1:00:37

I look up and then I was staring at him. He

1:00:40

has his hand like he's just staring at me. I'm

1:00:43

like just

1:00:46

looking down and ran out

1:00:48

afterwards. Right. We finished up. See

1:00:50

that ran out. And

1:00:53

then another week, another week, another week. And

1:00:56

I decided those has something a week after

1:00:58

week. They do it and would invite you

1:01:00

to it was a prep. It was open to

1:01:02

every every week. Just you and him. It's

1:01:04

not only him. It's his family. OK. I'm saying

1:01:07

when I wash myself that first time he was

1:01:09

there by himself. Just like he had

1:01:11

already finished. He had already washed and all the all

1:01:13

the Ionic look and his and the other people were

1:01:15

going and washing and they were doing their own thing

1:01:17

like in the kitchen, whatever. And then I'm like over

1:01:20

here sitting with the like. But

1:01:22

pardon the ignorance, but it's not common for the

1:01:24

rubber to have or to have guests at the

1:01:27

pseudo that ever has one or two that are

1:01:29

there. Frequently,

1:01:31

then usually there's like an extra. So I

1:01:33

was that extra, like, but no.

1:01:36

Wow. That your question is by the numbers

1:01:38

very infrequent. And

1:01:41

then something like intrigued me

1:01:44

about that. I don't know

1:01:46

what happened, what it was. And

1:01:48

I started like listening to his

1:01:51

old toys and stuff. And

1:01:54

I don't know, I just like

1:01:56

it clicked. I started becoming more involved

1:01:58

with people there. And then

1:02:00

I met like my life mentors. One

1:02:04

of them is a son of

1:02:06

the client's ice cream. I'm

1:02:09

the person who started client's ice cream. His

1:02:11

name is a friend client. He

1:02:13

has a son. His name is Jacob Schumann client. It was a

1:02:16

usual line. He himself was

1:02:18

then like he had a wine factory and he

1:02:20

had a lot of guest shabbos. That

1:02:22

was very close to him. Like I used to go to him to shabbos

1:02:25

by night when I wasn't by the Deborah. I would only

1:02:27

eat by him. I heard dessert is epic there. Yeah. It's

1:02:32

an answer. You don't have

1:02:34

clients asking everybody. So

1:02:39

I used to eat with, I used to eat by him

1:02:43

almost every shabbos. And

1:02:45

we developed a relationship and

1:02:48

we were very close. We are

1:02:50

very close to the day. But

1:02:52

he was

1:02:54

that male role model that

1:02:57

I needed. And he was,

1:02:59

he was a fire. He

1:03:03

was the toaster that needed to keep you warm. Yes. He

1:03:07

gave me that direction. Like then

1:03:09

it was all nice and

1:03:13

I was already in the community

1:03:15

and like I'm starting to develop

1:03:17

relationships. But internally

1:03:19

I was still like everything

1:03:21

was happening quickly. And I was

1:03:24

like, what's

1:03:28

my goal? Like where am I going? Like how do

1:03:30

I fix the current situation that I'm in? Like I

1:03:34

literally felt like I was just like lost a little bit. Right.

1:03:36

Like I felt that I was like I

1:03:38

didn't belong anywhere. I like I needed to

1:03:41

get guidance like how to like how to

1:03:43

prepare myself for shaddochim and all

1:03:45

these things. Like I didn't know anything. Right. So

1:03:48

he was

1:03:51

he he instructed me through

1:03:54

everything. He was

1:03:56

there. I used to not only didn't

1:03:58

have a personal relationship with him. the

1:06:01

happiest moments that I had was

1:06:04

when I left

1:06:07

something out that I want to bring

1:06:09

it in to a certain

1:06:11

level. Yeah. When

1:06:16

I was in the early

1:06:18

stages of researching

1:06:21

and finding Judaism,

1:06:25

my mother was picked up by ICE. I

1:06:29

was maybe 15, 16. And

1:06:33

I remember that I was

1:06:36

left with my father and

1:06:38

my two siblings and

1:06:40

my sisters. I don't bring it up because

1:06:42

it gets me emotional. So whatever.

1:06:47

And I took a lead of the house, even

1:06:49

with my father there. I

1:06:51

woke up in the morning. I put my brothers

1:06:53

together and took

1:06:56

them to school. And I always had to portray

1:06:58

that happy face. I had

1:07:00

to be the backbone of the family. And

1:07:03

I remember

1:07:06

that I had an

1:07:09

ice cream, a Haagen-Dazs ice cream, small

1:07:11

mini cup. And

1:07:14

I was sitting together with my brothers. And

1:07:16

I was eating the ice cream. By

1:07:18

the second scuba that I was about to eat,

1:07:20

I looked up. And I see my brothers just

1:07:22

looking at me, craving the ice cream. A

1:07:27

regular kid my age

1:07:29

wasn't going to think, let

1:07:32

me share. My ice cream,

1:07:34

I'm going to eat it. And

1:07:37

I stopped. And I gave it to them. And

1:07:39

I divided it in half and split it. This

1:07:45

moment for me was a very important

1:07:47

moment because I felt happy. I

1:07:50

felt that what I did was good. And

1:07:55

I remember then that.

1:08:00

Right afterwards, like a day afterwards, I went

1:08:02

to visit my mother. She

1:08:04

was in a center in New Jersey. And

1:08:08

I asked God on

1:08:10

the way back, my brothers

1:08:12

were crying. I was,

1:08:14

I was, during

1:08:16

the visit, I didn't shed a tear. I was strong.

1:08:21

Because I had to put that front for my mother. She

1:08:23

needed to be strong. And if I cried, she was gonna

1:08:25

cry. And I knew she was gonna cry. On

1:08:28

the way back, I

1:08:30

remember asking Hashem, and

1:08:33

I didn't know, but I said, I don't know where

1:08:35

you are, who you are. What

1:08:37

I know is one thing. If

1:08:40

you exist, give

1:08:42

me strength. Because I need it. If

1:08:44

you exist, show me your presence. Show

1:08:49

me that you run the world. Show

1:08:51

me that you're in charge. Show

1:08:55

me. And

1:08:59

these dialogues,

1:09:02

almost in a sense testing, expecting

1:09:06

results, were things

1:09:08

that I did in the future as well. And

1:09:12

that's how that

1:09:15

whole tfille thing

1:09:18

started shaping for me. And

1:09:21

then it wasn't about me, you know,

1:09:23

it was, I used to think to myself after,

1:09:28

like, okay, now

1:09:30

that I'm here, where

1:09:33

am I holding? And

1:09:35

I started making a reflection on things

1:09:38

that I saw were missing in the world. People

1:09:41

who were suffering, people who were

1:09:43

passing away. And I thought

1:09:45

to myself, like, what do I have? I

1:09:48

have a lot of good things. Thank God

1:09:51

I'm here. I'm Jewish. I have

1:09:53

that blessing. And I used

1:09:55

to say, don't

1:09:59

give me. If you

1:10:01

have something scheduled like some

1:10:03

some good that you're gonna give me don't

1:10:05

give it to me Put it on hold give

1:10:07

it to somebody else when I'll need it.

1:10:10

I'll borrow it back. Mmm and It's

1:10:14

it started like be it started

1:10:17

developing into like a cycle how I spoke to

1:10:19

a chef and then today

1:10:22

it's Your seat you

1:10:24

see it now That's

1:10:26

very cool. I don't ask for much only

1:10:29

thing I because I Said

1:10:33

before about a purpose my

1:10:36

purpose is different from yours. It's different

1:10:38

from yours At

1:10:42

the end of the day you have a side that

1:10:44

you can go to after this and you could talk

1:10:46

to him and You can say I met mayor Weiss

1:10:48

and he's a get in this. I

1:10:50

don't have anything The responsibility

1:10:52

of building do it is falls on my

1:10:54

shoulders that's not

1:10:57

an easy thing to carry and even

1:10:59

even the more so when I know that I'm

1:11:01

not perfect and I need to better myself and

1:11:04

and I have traits

1:11:06

that I'm trying not to be like my

1:11:08

father and I want to I want

1:11:11

to be good to my kids and the

1:11:13

only way to be to be

1:11:15

that good father is Is

1:11:17

to be truthful and to follow

1:11:19

the truth because kids feel it

1:11:22

they feel it they sense it and That's

1:11:26

where life decisions

1:11:28

change right because although

1:11:32

I'm human and 26

1:11:36

everything's fine and boil. I have

1:11:38

to think to myself I have

1:11:40

to think more maturely than others because

1:11:43

I have to think and I have to say mayor And

1:11:45

this is what I think mayor What's

1:11:49

gonna be five ten years from now What

1:11:53

are you gonna look like even better what are

1:11:55

you kids gonna look like so

1:11:57

every decision that I take has to

1:11:59

you weighed accordingly. So

1:12:04

there are a lot of things that I don't partake in,

1:12:06

that I should partake in, because

1:12:09

my judgment is different. I

1:12:11

have to look out for things differently

1:12:14

than the regular person. Before

1:12:18

I had my two daughters, I

1:12:22

used to dove in every single day. Please

1:12:26

continue my dojos. Extend,

1:12:29

and you'll extend one

1:12:31

more, one generation more. My

1:12:35

second daughter, the same

1:12:37

thing. Now, hopefully I'm

1:12:39

going to still have kids, right?

1:12:41

But help

1:12:44

them extend their... That's how the

1:12:46

tree's going to start for me. Shavout, I

1:12:49

love the underlying

1:12:51

thread. You

1:12:54

shared something very nuanced about deferring

1:12:57

Chasif and Ebeshir to others, and

1:13:00

that's a beautiful dynamic within

1:13:03

Tfilah. But underlying that is

1:13:05

something that I think people that grow

1:13:07

up within Yiddish-kayt have

1:13:11

a bigger avoide of doing this, which is

1:13:14

acknowledging and participating in the

1:13:17

relationship with the

1:13:19

Ebeshir that Tfilah is. And when a

1:13:21

person grows up learning the

1:13:23

Tfilas before we have an

1:13:25

understanding of what the words mean, and

1:13:28

we're just davening the words, sometimes

1:13:30

we're able to fluently and proficiently

1:13:33

get through the entire davening without

1:13:36

recognizing and realizing that we're having

1:13:38

a dialogue with Ebeshir. And

1:13:40

the way you're sharing it is, it started

1:13:43

from that dialogue, from that human

1:13:46

connection with the infinite, and

1:13:49

then that turned into Tfilah, which

1:13:51

gave it some form. But

1:13:54

the relationship is at the core of the whole

1:13:56

avoide. I sometimes feel

1:13:58

that people don't have that

1:14:02

people think like, you know, a girl

1:14:07

comes in like you just mentioned and it's

1:14:09

there, like that was the essence but

1:14:12

I had to work to get there. Sometimes

1:14:17

people can see something that's like you'll tell them

1:14:19

this is white no matter what you

1:14:21

do it's white but

1:14:24

people are not gonna just not they'll

1:14:26

like okay fine yeah it's fine. But

1:14:30

you don't have when you dive into a sham he's

1:14:33

listening to you. I've seen

1:14:35

it across a lot of things. I'll

1:14:38

go back December 31st 2022.

1:14:43

I had finished I was still in college I

1:14:46

was looking at I'm an accountant and

1:14:49

I was looking at different

1:14:51

options. You really got promoted from the

1:14:53

register job. I

1:14:56

was looking at different options when whatever

1:14:59

different places interviewing

1:15:01

my all these accounting

1:15:03

firms and I

1:15:05

wasn't happy. I decided to take an internship

1:15:07

I was gonna pay $20 an hour. I didn't

1:15:10

have enough money to cover

1:15:12

bills and

1:15:14

I'm pushing through I'm pushing

1:15:16

through. I had

1:15:19

borrowed money from somebody. I needed

1:15:22

to give the money back. The

1:15:25

judgment was $28,000. I had 13 saved

1:15:32

on the side that

1:15:34

I was putting away as time went by. I promised him

1:15:36

that I was gonna pay him December 31st 2022. That's I

1:15:38

gave my word. I was trying to

1:15:44

find the high paying job here and there. It just

1:15:46

didn't work and

1:15:49

then I said you know what let

1:15:53

me just I've

1:15:55

done enough. Guide

1:15:58

me. But

1:18:03

I feel that being

1:18:05

true to him is

1:18:08

what he appreciates

1:18:10

so much. I

1:18:12

feel that sometimes people

1:18:15

just like blend

1:18:18

into what is the world and

1:18:21

they forget who they are as a person. And

1:18:25

I always come back to him and I tell

1:18:27

him, look, you

1:18:29

don't have to extend this credit line. But

1:18:33

if you do, don't do it for my sake.

1:18:35

Do it for him. He

1:18:38

needs kids. I have kids already. I don't need them.

1:18:42

You can hold one back, give one to him. Panusa.

1:18:47

I don't have a million dollars in my bank, but

1:18:49

I don't owe anybody money. What's

1:18:52

Panusa for? To become rich? To

1:18:55

have a private jet? What? To

1:18:59

live. I don't

1:19:01

owe anybody, so that means I'm breaking even. I

1:19:04

could use a million dollars, but I don't need it. At

1:19:09

the end of the year, my balance is zero. That's

1:19:12

what I need. I need it to break even.

1:19:16

If you're going to throw in the million, give

1:19:18

it to somebody else. Give it to me. Give

1:19:21

the blessing to this other person, because

1:19:23

I know you're here and I know you

1:19:25

exist. And I know

1:19:27

that no matter what challenge you give me,

1:19:29

I'm going to be there with you till

1:19:32

the end. Something

1:19:34

that I couldn't say for my father, which is also suffering

1:19:36

that I had by him. But

1:19:39

I believe in him. And

1:19:42

no matter what challenge he brings me, I know

1:19:45

that ultimately I'm going to look back to it,

1:19:47

because it's happened plenty of times. It's

1:19:50

just my... I'm

1:19:53

still developing as a person also. It's

1:19:56

natural for a person to reflect and say, I

1:20:00

made a mistake here. Really it was

1:20:02

like this, you know, like, you're a work in

1:20:04

progress your whole life. But

1:20:06

plenty of times I had to give myself a smack in the back of

1:20:08

my head, like, come on, Maya,

1:20:10

you didn't really thought you were gonna

1:20:12

do this. Shambhana did

1:20:14

do this. And

1:20:17

I look back and I see all the blessings

1:20:19

that I have. I don't deserve them. That's

1:20:22

the truth, I don't deserve them. But

1:20:25

I feel that when you think of

1:20:27

other people, other

1:20:31

people need more than you, you know?

1:20:34

The one little reframe that I would offer you

1:20:36

is that if the

1:20:38

Abishter decides to give you that Shefa,

1:20:42

it's not the Abishter saying it's not for Yennim.

1:20:44

It might just be him inviting you to

1:20:47

be that vehicle, to get it to Yennim. To

1:20:52

be the only one of you. There

1:20:56

are those who say. May

1:20:59

I? May I, it's

1:21:01

been an absolute pleasure hearing

1:21:03

your story. You know, many times

1:21:05

I come into an episode and I really, I know a

1:21:08

lot of the content, I know the stories. I

1:21:10

didn't know much. I didn't know much about your

1:21:12

story, about you, but like, I'm

1:21:15

very, very happy now that I do and I'm very

1:21:17

happy that now a lot of people will as well.

1:21:19

Wish you much, Hadzwacha, Shavnach,

1:21:22

some of your children, Pranasa, more

1:21:25

than even breaking even, you know? So for others. With

1:21:28

Dyrus, with Dyrus. Dyrus and Dyrus.

1:21:30

From your beautiful family tree. I'm

1:21:32

saying the point of it is not for me

1:21:35

not to have, and

1:21:38

Yennim should have, is that no

1:21:40

matter the challenge, the

1:21:42

power of my closeness

1:21:45

to Hashem, I'm

1:21:47

not gonna deviate from Him. I'm still stuck with Him.

1:21:50

Yeah, I'm latched to Him. Can't

1:21:53

get rid of me. There are others

1:21:55

that. That need it more than me. Yeah.

1:21:58

Wow. Wow. my bracha

1:22:00

to you, my bracha's hadya to you is

1:22:03

that the authenticity, just

1:22:05

sitting here in the room, like

1:22:07

I can feel how

1:22:09

alive and how on fire your nishama is,

1:22:13

and I hope it comes across on

1:22:15

the audio. But being

1:22:17

in this room, I feel like I'm ignited.

1:22:19

It's palpable. His mamish is, and

1:22:21

my bracha to you is that you had shared

1:22:23

that the nature of Hischachas

1:22:26

is that it fades. And my

1:22:29

bracha to you is that fire, that

1:22:31

authenticity, that genuine connection and relationship that

1:22:33

you have worked so hard to build

1:22:36

and to have with your creator,

1:22:39

that you continue to build that and

1:22:41

renew that and continue to build

1:22:43

that fire. Amen. Thank

1:22:45

you. Ditto. I

1:22:48

have a feeling that this is not the last we're going to be

1:22:50

seeing or hearing of Meruweis. But thank you so much for joining us.

1:22:52

Thank you very much. Thank you guys for having me. Yes,

1:22:55

we'll be back with another episode of Meaningful

1:22:57

People coming next week. Matsuji

1:22:59

Simka Sore, a brand new episode. Stay

1:23:01

tuned for that. Can't wait to bring it your way.