0:45

Welcome to a new Life , your Most

0:47

Beautiful Life Podcast . You

0:49

can now also call it the Design your Own Life Podcast

0:52

. Nice title . Yes , it's a nice

0:54

title . That is also the title of our

0:56

new book Design your Own Life

0:58

Choose your Own Future . Today

1:01

in the studio , Cindy Pilarchik-Kuhmann

1:04

and Ashore Sommer

1:06

, co-director of the book Design

1:08

your Own Life , and I am there myself . Michael , Welcome

1:11

, nice to hear you . We are going to talk about

1:13

the book today and especially

1:15

about what we wrote that book .

1:18

Yes , I know that a year ago we were

1:20

outside and then I said to you I

1:23

think , why don't you write a

1:25

book that you want to read yourself when you

1:27

were 20 ? And

1:30

that's where I started .

1:33

Yes , that was the starting

1:35

point and that also

1:38

meant that a lot of young people went to read the

1:40

Master your Mindset , and

1:43

with young I mean

1:46

well , really under the age of 30 . I

1:48

wrote the book for a little bit 30 plus and

1:51

then we noticed in recent years that there have been

1:54

more and more young readers , until

1:56

even 13 , 14 , 15 years . And

2:00

then we sat down with each other and

2:02

I was going to discuss with George what we will do . We will make

2:04

Master your Mindset Junior

2:07

, a junior version

2:09

of Master your Mindset , a younger version . That

2:12

was actually the idea when you said why don't

2:14

you write the book ?

2:16

Yes , and then it actually starts like

2:18

with us all . Then we think , oh

2:21

, then we'll just fit the book to some

2:24

more examples of now and in the end then

2:26

a total out of hand project again .

2:29

And did you do that longer than you expected ?

2:31

Yes , a total new book , and also

2:33

went away , but also realized that that was also a

2:35

very good idea , that actually didn't work at

2:37

all Master your Mindset , To

2:41

fit some other examples , what fits young

2:43

people but that it really had to be a new book . And

2:49

then I said to George is

2:51

it not convenient if we make a laser

2:53

panel ? Because

2:56

we all don't have a lot of

2:58

young artists from our environment

3:00

anymore and

3:04

I thought it was good to see what is really

3:06

playing in their lives at the moment . Where

3:09

are they really going now to really

3:11

go into a deeper conversation with them ? And

3:14

George , what did you put up then ? And

3:16

that was so incredibly fun

3:19

and valuable .

3:20

Yes , it was very exciting to see . I

3:22

didn't have a lot of images myself , but I really

3:24

thought . Gen Z

3:26

, those are millennials . Our

3:28

generation is only a little younger .

3:30

And a little bit for Gen Z

3:32

. What age is it from ?

3:35

Yes , it's from 1996

3:37

to 2012

3:40

, I think . So

3:44

you're up to 24 , but

3:46

actually from 12 to 24 . The

3:49

book was written for the target group from 18 to

3:51

30 , so it's a little wider . There are also millennials , but

3:56

I thought Gen Z , those boys from 18 to 20 , about

3:59

the same age as 30 , they think the

4:01

same way and they have the same issues

4:03

. It was interesting to do some

4:05

research because you notice certain

4:07

things that I don't expect myself . You

4:10

see a lot of stuff that is very much in the dark and

4:13

because you then end up involving 3500

4:15

people , because you

4:17

get such a big sample , you

4:20

can see that some things really have a lot of trouble

4:22

, or these are things that really come often . Because

4:25

I'm curious , because you just said it to Mike you

4:27

wrote the book , what

4:30

you had to write for yourself when you had

4:32

it , because you see a lot of things happening

4:34

to boys . But

4:37

what did you see on social media

4:39

earlier , asking questions that were asked of

4:41

you ? Because after the research , we had a very good picture . What

4:45

was the idea that you had before that , before you started

4:47

the whole process ?

4:52

I noticed that it was a big question where

4:54

the book actually goes about . What am I going to do with my

4:57

future ? How

4:59

am I going to make choices ? I

5:02

just don't know which

5:04

side I should face with my life . But

5:07

those questions were very diverse A lot of

5:10

problems with parents , really a

5:12

lot of issues with parents , with

5:14

education , with choices

5:16

. I just want to be successful

5:19

. I just want to earn a lot of money . I

5:21

want to start a company , I want to be an

5:23

entrepreneur . How do you do that ? And

5:25

you can find that online . There

5:28

are a lot of programs and a lot of examples , but

5:31

as far as I know , you don't really learn that in school

5:34

, in practice . So there is a very diverse

5:36

scale of themes

5:38

that were kept up

5:40

to me where I thought that is definitely

5:43

worth a book .

5:46

What do you think about it

5:48

most after you read the question with the laser panel

5:50

in contact , because a few things are being expressed

5:53

in open .

5:55

Yes , we analyzed the

5:57

results . So first everything was taken over , but

6:00

I also looked at what terms were used . What

6:02

was most used was the future choices

6:06

for the future that one of the three

6:09

people who gave this specific term . So

6:13

I don't know what I want for the future or

6:15

I find it difficult to choose what I'm going to do for the future

6:17

In that way

6:19

. One of the three people who wrote it like this . But

6:22

the important thing is , if you read all those

6:24

stories because we said

6:26

everything , only that research is already a few books on

6:28

content read everything

6:31

. At some point you get a picture of okay , this

6:33

is the target group for you and then you read

6:35

further and that is more established

6:38

. So you really read the same kind of stories . So

6:41

these are also the things that I also

6:43

remember when I was 18

6:45

or 20 . I

6:47

wasn't really working on it . I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted

6:49

for the future . So

6:52

that's a big theme , one of the things that I saw a lot of back then . Besides

6:54

that I have to focus

6:57

on it or

6:59

I'm quickly distracted or

7:02

negative influence from the environment , that

7:04

there are issues with that . Where do I find a

7:06

mentor or a coach , until

7:10

issues that you see less often , like what

7:13

is my life mission , or how do I find a dream

7:15

job , or how do I start a successful business

7:18

. Of course , everything comes to an end , but

7:20

above all , at some point you see those headlines

7:22

and that's why you also

7:24

come up with those 15 questions

7:26

, because these 15 questions come back every

7:29

time . That's pretty annoying

7:31

, that's so .

7:32

So you went to those 15 questions . Maybe you can

7:34

read them , because

7:37

everyone who is listening knows what we're talking about . So

7:40

we filtered all those themes out of those 15

7:42

questions and that's the basis

7:44

of the book where we

7:46

answer them . But above all , we

7:49

give tools so that you can find

7:52

the answer to these questions yourself . We're

7:54

not just going to give the answer . There's more to it than

7:56

the intention that you will be able to answer

7:58

the questions yourself . Would you like to read them

8:00

?

8:01

I would like to read a few of them . How

8:04

do I discover what I really want to live with ? How

8:08

do I deal with the high expectations of others ? How

8:11

do I deal with my thoughts and unrest in my head ? How

8:14

can I deal with parents , friends and other

8:16

people ? How do I deal with fear

8:18

and disappointment ? How can

8:20

I deal with my emotions better ? How

8:23

do I deal with stress

8:26

? How do I get more self-confidence

8:28

?

8:29

That's a couple of fifteen questions .

8:31

Yes , Quite an challenge to do something

8:33

like this , Because I don't know how it was with you

8:35

when you came to ask the fifteen questions and

8:38

when we saw that , I thought well

8:40

, it's a pretty long challenge to answer this in a book .

8:43

I'm curious about the themes that you ask from

8:45

these questions , Because

8:48

we can also see it as themes . How

8:51

much did you recognize it when you were young ? I

8:55

mean between the eighteen and twenty-four . Do

8:59

you recognize yourself in

9:01

some themes ?

9:03

No , I think

9:05

in most cases not Honestly , because

9:08

if you are now talking about stress or

9:10

researching what you want to do with your life or

9:13

your future , for me that was very clear . I didn't have any stress

9:15

. I wanted to work very

9:17

clearly on the radio . I knew what I wanted , how my

9:19

life would look like as

9:22

my life is now . What I personally

9:24

wanted to know more about is

9:28

that , yes , there are a

9:30

few things that are important that we

9:32

will deal with your thoughts . So the whole mindset

9:34

part I

9:36

wanted to know much earlier . I never learned anything

9:39

about that . And the part of the business and money-saving

9:41

I wanted to talk about something

9:44

earlier , or something

9:46

about courage or something about reading . So

9:49

maybe that's why I was eighteen or twenty I

9:52

could have learned what came much later Because

9:55

you have read a lot of books .

9:56

No , never .

9:57

No , right no .

10:00

Once a friend of yours read a book by Bode Schaefer

10:02

, but before that did you read a lot

10:04

of books .

10:06

I never read books like that as far as I remember

10:08

. I thought reading was very stupid

10:10

. I had to read books at school , of course . At the

10:12

port I read D H Lawrence

10:15

and D Lise Lover why

10:18

, no idea ? And the Dave De Jackal by Fredric

10:20

Forsythe and

10:22

Francois Sagan for France , but

10:25

those were some sort of obligatory numbers . I

10:27

thought I read so stupidly . I don't understand what you're reading

10:29

. Why do I have to read a book ? What do you have

10:32

there ? And

10:34

I think that's the challenge of this book that we have written

10:36

now , and I can imagine very well

10:38

that there is a very large group

10:41

of young people school students

10:43

who now also think , hello , why

10:45

would I read a book ? Or do

10:47

I see it as an challenge ?

10:49

Yes , but you do have a number of very specific interests . You

10:51

say so . You knew what you wanted to be . If

10:54

there was something about how you can earn

10:56

more money , you do have an interest

10:58

in it . If I gave Michael this book

11:01

at the age of 18 , and

11:04

said there is definitely something about it , are you

11:06

going to read it ? If you had something like that

11:08

, you would have gone crazy . I'm not going to read it at all , or

11:10

how was that for you then ?

11:14

Well , I would find it very difficult if you ask me this

11:16

question now . So would I be reading this

11:18

book then when I was 18 ? I don't know that

11:21

. But then what

11:23

Cindy just said , a friend of mine gave that book

11:25

by Bode Shever with the title how

11:27

do you get your first million ? How do you get your first

11:29

million ? Well , that was a trigger for me . So

11:32

I wanted to read that right away , just

11:34

like when I had read Girl Rich . That

11:37

triggered me . And how to be a

11:39

millionaire , how to live like a millionaire . I

11:42

found those interesting titles . So

11:45

when you are interested in a certain subject I

11:49

think without the subject you are then willing to read a

11:51

book .

11:52

Yes , so it actually starts with the interests . Yes , because

11:55

then it was for you . Cindy , did

11:57

you leave your book at the age of 18 ?

11:59

No , the same story as for Michael . I

12:01

never read books . I didn't have

12:04

any pleasure in that . No

12:07

, as long as I remember , I never read . And

12:09

Michael gave me the secret

12:12

as the first book . That's a very easy and

12:14

simple book and

12:16

I immediately started reading it and from

12:18

then on I really read a lot of books , all

12:21

about fiction , and I

12:23

found that very interesting . And

12:26

I was 24 years old then

12:28

Because

12:30

I was writing the book for young people and

12:32

I also meant the book I wanted to read at

12:34

that time . And

12:37

I also noticed we noticed that Mastur Mindset was

12:41

a little more focused , also with the example

12:44

of 35+ . There

12:47

is actually not really a book that , if

12:50

you are 22 years old , which

12:52

in this matter is simple and easy to

12:54

explain , which

12:56

is also easy to read , especially for

12:58

people like me , and I just don't read that

13:00

much yet Then it's

13:02

nice if it's easy to write as

13:06

you go through it easily and I also find pleasure in

13:08

reading and I also think that in combination

13:10

with a lot of assignments that are included

13:12

here , the summary that you have made at the end it's

13:15

super easy to read and

13:17

we get a lot of that back from the target

13:19

group and we also really have a lot of awareness about

13:21

it . Do you also ? But I know for

13:23

you it was different .

13:26

You read a lot . When I was really

13:29

12 , 13 , 14 , I didn't read a lot . I

13:32

was going to read , especially because my mother just

13:34

bought me books , and not

13:37

that she wanted to , but she liked it , of course

13:39

, because she thought , okay , maybe

13:41

she'll read it , and I think it was

13:43

her intention to get

13:45

me interested in books , but she didn't really

13:47

need it . So you have to read this . Or it's more

13:49

that I got a new book for every opportunity

13:52

, until

13:54

she had a book from a fantasy series for young

13:56

the grey year-olds , and

13:58

that still exists . Then

14:00

she bought it for me . Well , I thought that

14:02

was a booyant because it was a story

14:04

. I was completely taken in there . I

14:07

thought , well , it's actually interesting . Then

14:09

I got that whole series , of course , and

14:12

after that I did get a little

14:14

further into it and

14:16

I thought maybe it's also fun to read something else . And in that

14:18

way I think that

14:20

you can have interests in

14:22

all kinds of things , especially if you really have

14:25

all the children who are interested , if

14:27

you then spark those interests . So

14:30

if you're working on that and you

14:32

further dive into it yourself , then you'll find a

14:34

whole world of possibilities . So

14:36

when I was 16 , 17 , 18 , I was really

14:38

a lot , but that's still fiction

14:41

, so it's really that I was working

14:43

on this kind of theme . That

14:46

was also well , a lot later two , three , four

14:48

and twenty , actually from philosophy , because

14:50

I was going to read philosophy Most

14:52

of all . That's also in my case , in the case of you

14:55

start with the real old philosophers , then you

14:57

go more to modern times and at some point

14:59

you also get into the approach with books , for

15:01

example from Hill , that you come across that for a while that

15:04

you think , oh , this is super interesting . But

15:07

that was also when I was four , five , twenty that

15:09

I really was working on those kinds of things . And I think

15:11

that's because there really is

15:13

very little what is really written

15:15

for the target group , what is really accessible

15:18

yes , that's right . Also

15:20

, if you're 18 , then even if you read books , then

15:23

you really read in a very different

15:25

way than well , like we would now

15:27

read a book . And then

15:29

the whole challenge , which you also said , mike , that

15:32

if you read little books , how do I look at books

15:35

, that it really has to be extremely accessible

15:37

and it must also be

15:40

connected to the needs that you currently have .

15:42

But what I'm reading in

15:44

the first feedback and the reviews is that

15:46

the mission has been completed

15:48

through

15:52

reading we will come back to that but that

15:54

it is written

15:56

in a way that it is very accessible and understandable

15:58

easy . What

16:01

I often have with these kinds of books if

16:03

you have a lot of books about yourself that

16:05

it is often so dusty and so I

16:07

have to go through it then I often

16:10

put it away . And this is

16:12

fun to read , with a lot of practical

16:14

examples of young people who

16:16

we have spoken to , who tell their stories . So

16:19

it is also a very recognizable mirror

16:21

for many others . Oh , I don't have that

16:23

problem alone . That has

16:25

Cindy , and Shores has that too , and they

16:27

have solved it that way , and

16:29

that's why I think it's a very valuable book

16:31

, because

16:33

it's written so easily . From now on .

16:36

Yes , I think it's nice to pick up

16:39

a piece or a theme and

16:41

make the power of choice . Why

16:44

is it in there ? Why was it important

16:46

?

16:48

It is important because we have seen

16:50

this again . First of all , we started with

16:52

that book . It started when

16:54

Sir Mike said for young people . Then we saw

16:56

that the whole bottom line parallel that this

16:58

has to be completely different . One

17:00

of the things that I said too soon . What came back

17:02

a lot is future and choices make for

17:04

the future , and the

17:06

big question is then what is a good choice

17:09

? And that is often made very

17:11

big . Then you make

17:13

a choice for always and very exciting because

17:15

you are very aware of what can

17:18

and can be very much . So

17:20

what is a good choice ? That

17:22

question is very much set , so

17:25

it is interesting to see where that question

17:28

comes from , but also to write about

17:30

it . What

17:33

is a good choice ? Is it a choice that fits

17:35

you ? Why

17:37

is that choice good or not ? That

17:40

is why this piece is in there , and also quite a bit at the beginning

17:42

, because

17:46

you don't want to choose what you want to do with

17:48

your life or what are

17:50

the choices that go into the book later

17:52

, with whom you are going around or

17:56

what you are going to do with your health . Then

17:58

it is convenient to read something about it earlier

18:01

. When is a choice , then

18:03

? For me personally , a good choice .

18:05

I think there is a lot of fear in

18:07

a lot of areas and especially when it comes

18:09

to making choices . I am , I don't

18:11

know , 16 or 18 or 21 , and I have to

18:13

choose and there is a certain

18:16

pressure from outside . That pressure from outside we

18:18

have seen a lot in the feedback . It

18:20

probably comes through the parents

18:23

, the expectation pattern from outside

18:25

. But if I choose the wrong study

18:27

, then yes , then it

18:29

is very often then then it is the point point point , because

18:31

afterwards there is no answer , but there

18:33

is often fear that I do the wrong thing , make

18:36

the wrong choice . And what we try to

18:38

make clear is maybe

18:41

give clarity , to make people

18:43

more aware that

18:47

it is not as big as you might think

18:49

, that there are only few

18:51

choices that are so big that you cannot

18:53

change them anymore . If you choose

18:55

something and it does not fall , you

18:58

can just send it back . You

19:00

do not have to , if you are so young , to

19:03

cut your whole life out until the last detail , only

19:06

what we imagine . That is a bit my vision . It

19:09

is nice if you have an idea of how

19:11

your life should look like and

19:14

if you charge it you could say do

19:16

you want to have a luxury life

19:18

with everything on it . Do you

19:20

want to take everything out ? Or

19:22

you say , well , I prefer to

19:25

sit on the other side of the universe , I

19:28

see where it ends , and if I end up in the big one with

19:30

only misery and drama and problems , then

19:33

I think that's good too . It

19:36

is a bit like you know which side I want to go up , and

19:38

I think it is almost understandable

19:41

that you do not have a

19:43

certain vision and whether that is well . I'm going

19:45

to live in a house of wheels and I start

19:47

a family and I have a dog and a

19:50

middle-class car and I have a relaxed job . I

19:52

do not work too much , but I have a lot

19:54

of free time . I can go around with my friends , my family

19:57

, my family , and that makes

19:59

me happy , because I think that's important . That

20:01

is what makes you happy , what makes me better

20:03

and happier . That is also good . But

20:05

you have to know a little bit

20:07

which side you are going up and you

20:10

have to make that choice yourself and from

20:12

there the Dutch subtitle also chooses your own

20:14

future . It is about your future , but

20:16

you do not have to have

20:19

your whole lifebook written for the next 80

20:21

years , and I think that too much uncertainty

20:24

is coming from that .

20:27

You are just saying that you have to know a little

20:29

bit which side you are going up , and

20:32

I also think

20:34

that you know that by doing things , by

20:36

taking things , what sometimes

20:38

happens to me is that there is little done

20:41

and taken

20:43

and the less you read , the less you have your

20:45

side-lines

20:47

. The less you work , the

20:50

less you study , the

20:53

less you also know what is not right for you . And

20:55

I think that making choices is also easier

20:57

if you take more into account . And

21:00

it was like there was a kind of freeze-hast , but

21:04

if I do that , maybe that is not good and

21:08

I think that right when

21:10

you are 16 to 25 , 20 is

21:12

a super nice period to try out a

21:14

lot and to cover and

21:17

make it easier for you to make decisions there , and

21:20

I also see a bit of pressure from the parents on that

21:25

. It should be the right direction

21:27

, so it feels for me .

21:30

And then you choose a study , for

21:33

example , and after a year you realize that this is not what

21:35

I want . But

21:37

I have someone who told me that I

21:39

have come across something in a book

21:41

or whatever it is . You

21:44

hear , what I actually want is that side , but that

21:46

insight that you would never have done if you hadn't made

21:49

that wrong choice for your study . And

21:51

that's why , if you start with the idea

21:53

that you have to choose

21:55

one study in my life and

21:57

that's what I'm going to do , there's only one job

22:00

for me Then if you look

22:02

at it in that way , you get a kind of freeze . Then

22:05

you get that fear of making mistakes Because

22:08

it's so static . And

22:10

if I understand you well , I also say that it's

22:12

more . It's more

22:14

we're going to do something .

22:17

I think it's going to be very important . It's going to be important

22:19

and you'll get something on your path . The

22:23

choice was finally made by me , but

22:27

the choice was to write a novel . Then

22:30

the choice was in heaven . Master

22:32

of Mindset wasn't a very conscious

22:35

choice . Everything

22:39

I do now is not something I'm thinking about . That's

22:41

the outcome . Because

22:43

of the things I do . Because I came across Cindy talking to

22:46

other people , I

22:49

discovered that I could help people

22:51

. Based on my own experience Because

22:53

of helping people the last ten years , I learned a lot again

22:55

. That's why I think I've become much

22:58

better at it . That's why we could have written this

23:00

book . But

23:04

things come on your path Because of the money

23:06

for Cindy , of course . If

23:09

Cindy and I hadn't come across each

23:11

other , you might have done something different .

23:14

I want to tell you a fun story . What

23:18

would be my tip for young

23:20

people ? One

23:23

of them is to make sure you work in places

23:25

where you can spread your network

23:27

. When I went to study

23:30

, I worked in a café on the 9 streets

23:32

. I knew there were always

23:34

many interesting people sitting there . That

23:42

brought me to a network where I would

23:44

never come back . I

23:46

know a lot of valuable people who

23:48

I still talk to . I

23:51

met them when I was 18 . One

23:55

of the guys who always came to the café was a

23:57

poker player . He was called Arthur

23:59

. I told him

24:02

I was going to Barcelona with my girlfriend . He

24:04

said he needed to meet Thijs

24:06

, a friend of mine who lives in Barcelona . I

24:08

gave him my number , sent

24:10

him a message and he made sure I could

24:13

come to all clubs . He

24:15

knows everyone in Barcelona . A nice guy

24:18

contacted me and made sure he was

24:20

making the way for me in Barcelona . I

24:23

contacted Thijs , otherwise I would never have

24:25

come . I knew Thijs

24:27

and I knew you . I

24:30

think it's a tip when

24:32

you're young to work in places to

24:35

walk on stage , where you can contact

24:37

these kinds of people .

24:42

But also go to work somewhere where good people can

24:44

learn a lot . I think that's valuable

24:47

for later . Start with the

24:49

bottom line . Understand that you don't

24:51

know anything . So start from

24:53

the bottom and look around you . Learn

24:57

from those good people .

24:59

I think that if you look at your past

25:02

life , you've always learned so much

25:04

. I

25:07

think that maybe you've been unconsciously a

25:09

sort of strategy To

25:14

always learn from people who you want

25:16

to learn from , to go around with them

25:18

. When

25:22

you went to the fields , to the radio

25:25

, you always

25:27

went around with those people .

25:31

That's what I've always said . Look for an example when

25:36

I worked at Veronica in the late 80's , my

25:38

example was with the radio Jeroen

25:41

van Inkel , Of course . It was a gigantic

25:43

example , together with Adam Curry and

25:47

in the voice field , which I've

25:49

done a lot with , which

25:51

has been a very learning process for me . For years

25:54

I had Alfred Lagarde

25:56

and Jos Berge Hennigau . That

25:59

was when the two

26:01

big names and voices were really in that area and

26:03

I was walking with them day and night , but

26:07

literally day and night . We

26:09

were often in the studio until 3 , 4 , 5

26:12

in the evening and then I was there as

26:14

a little boy . I didn't drink coffee for Alfred

26:16

or Jos , and

26:18

then I could listen and see how they were doing , and

26:21

then I learned a lot from that . I

26:24

spent the night with those guys in the studio . So

26:27

if you look at people who

26:29

were successful in their lives at a later

26:31

age , they weren't

26:33

just one or two years old . They've

26:36

been doing that since they were very young . I

26:39

was talking about the period when I was 18 . And

26:42

that sometimes I said to them at 3 o'clock in the evening

26:44

I think I have to go home

26:46

, otherwise my mother will be disturbed . And then they said

26:48

do you want to work here ? Do you want to

26:50

get ? Well , Then I'm going to get the crook

26:52

, then you'll come back , and so I

26:54

go then , and I think I

26:57

learned a lot of

26:59

work ethics from that . But

27:01

I just looked a lot away from the best , and

27:03

that may be an important advice for everyone

27:05

. Look for people who are really

27:07

good in a certain area where you would

27:09

like to go , and you can learn from

27:12

that .

27:13

Yes , it's of course a very old model

27:15

, a teacher-master-learning model . What

27:19

has already been adapted to it for thousands of

27:21

years ? It strikes me

27:23

that at young age

27:25

I see it less and less . For

27:28

me , that's really a teacher-master's very

27:30

conscious search .

27:32

But is that also not because there are

27:34

less targeted interests ? Because

27:36

if you're very interested in something , then

27:38

you look at it as this is . I think

27:40

this is annoying , that I want to be good in who

27:43

is good in there . That can then be an example for you

27:45

and then you can

27:47

also take the necessary action to get in

27:49

contact with someone like that . If

27:52

you don't know , if you have

27:54

no idea what you want and also don't like what

27:56

you actually think , and

27:58

you have no interests , how are you

28:01

going to find someone who will help you

28:03

? I mean , then you don't

28:05

have a direction Because

28:07

, look , you said you went there , you

28:10

went to work , you came in contact with people . How

28:13

was it for you in the past when you had

28:15

that age ? Because you are not going

28:17

to work for a place where people

28:20

come with networks .

28:21

Yes , I came to live in Amsterdam , of course . I was 18 years

28:23

old and I thought well , I want to meet nice people . And

28:27

where do you have to meet nice people ? In

28:29

the interesting nice cafes in the Kroeg

28:31

, yes , and then you can choose every Wilker

28:34

Kroeg . I did some

28:36

research on which network I

28:38

want to get in contact with .

28:42

So you are also very focused on that because you didn't

28:45

think specifically that you would have

28:47

done that . I'm going to put that network in front of

28:49

this or that , but

28:52

you notice that there are opportunities . I'm

28:54

going to make at least a lot of contact there . I can learn a lot

28:56

.

28:57

It seems more interesting than , for example , in a tourist

28:59

cafe where everyone is walking . And

29:03

the other thing is that that would be

29:05

absolutely my advice , even

29:08

if you might say , if you don't know exactly

29:11

what you want to do , I already

29:13

knew that very clearly because I didn't know that either

29:15

. But

29:17

during my internship period

29:19

I sat at a PR office which

29:22

was very well written for very well-known brands and

29:26

I thought , well , I don't know exactly

29:28

what I want , but

29:31

if I later know a company or what I know , then PR

29:33

is an important

29:36

part of it . And if you're

29:38

good at PR , you can buy everything . And

29:40

in particular , if you have a product , it has to be sold , it

29:42

has to be known . And

29:46

I thought , if I sit at my own rest for

29:48

half a year , I'm going

29:50

to learn a lot . And I learned so much

29:52

from that . It was

29:55

really sort of devil's wear spread . So

29:57

you just get a half year old . It

29:59

was really pittish , but

30:03

, just like with me , you learn a certain work ethic

30:05

by

30:10

playing at a level like that at a company , at a lady's place

30:12

. And that would be absolutely

30:15

my advice Make sure you choose

30:17

stages in final scripts very

30:20

carefully and make sure you

30:22

can learn a lot at places you can go to . That's

30:26

really the moment .

30:28

So you're your own teacher .

30:30

Yes .

30:33

That's what we're going to do . When we

30:35

started Mastermind Academy , we said , yes

30:37

, all those things you don't learn at school , all

30:40

those things you don't always

30:42

learn from your parents in your upbringing , we're

30:45

going to offer our own school for that . We

30:48

did that . This is our way of

30:50

learning how to learn

30:53

things that are very important to your life . But

30:55

, of course , you can also share your own

30:57

school of your own , and I

30:59

think it's interesting to learn this or that , and

31:02

online and on YouTube and Google , you can find

31:04

almost everything you can find

31:06

yourself in . Everything is

31:08

there . It's much easier

31:10

than my opinion .

31:17

So the question is why are there so many young people ? My

31:21

idea is that there are more young people

31:23

who don't know what they want . Why

31:25

is that question arise ?

31:27

I think that used to be in the game . When we

31:29

look at your time , I think that you

31:31

have a generation in front of you . I

31:33

think of that completely . But when

31:35

I look at my father , it was

31:38

just the tool company . My

31:42

father was in high school . He went to the building

31:44

. As a child he worked

31:46

in particular , every day . After

31:49

that he went to the tool

31:51

company . I

31:53

still have an uncle who studied , but there wasn't a lot of choice . I

31:56

think that was especially for the generation

31:58

of our parents . There were

32:01

fewer conversations . I

32:03

think you did a lot more what your father did already

32:05

and there were a few people who went to study

32:08

. They became an artist , but that was often

32:10

in the family . Or you became

32:12

a truck driver . I think there was also a little less . I

32:14

think it was just a little more transparent . You

32:18

went to the LTS or study or you

32:20

just came into the field of work . At

32:24

that time I think it was much

32:26

less choice .

32:28

Is it possible to make it more difficult

32:30

, or do you have to make it with a certain mentality

32:33

? You asked me .

32:35

I think it all has to do with mentality and

32:41

that whole generation of what I want . If

32:43

you don't know , you get the leftovers

32:46

. It's so simple you choose , you can

32:48

choose , you have all the freedom to choose . It's

32:51

difficult , it's hard to work with it , otherwise

32:54

you get the jobs you're not happy with . And

32:57

the other problem is that , in my opinion

32:59

, the image of expectations

33:02

of the outside world and parents that

33:06

you all have to present , I

33:08

think that's all part of it . I think the ambition level

33:11

was dramatically lower than I look at the whole generation

33:13

, but on the other hand

33:15

, I see that we , the generation of

33:17

me , the parents of Gen Z

33:19

, have

33:23

become a lot of pudding generation themselves .

33:27

I think if we look at

33:29

the parents of Gen Z and look

33:31

at the burnout figures , then I

33:33

think that there are already a lot of

33:35

parents of these children who are

33:37

in a burnout .

33:39

I spoke to a good friend of mine from the

33:41

week we were

33:43

together and he said I have a

33:45

new job . A

33:48

girl , a lady from just

33:50

30 under 30 . And she

33:52

said I want to work full-time . We

33:54

said , oh , what's nice . Finally someone wants to

33:57

work full-time again . So she said for

33:59

the security . I used to ask and what's full-time

34:01

with you ? And then those ladies

34:03

said 28 hours . And

34:08

we often notice that people don't want to work until

34:10

max 22 hours a week

34:12

and that's fine . I

34:16

certainly have a opinion about that . But if you want to do that

34:18

, you have to do that . But don't fear

34:20

that someone who works 60 hours a week will earn 2

34:22

or 3 times as much money and that

34:25

he can buy a nice house and you don't . That's

34:27

a logical result and that's

34:30

in the whole process

34:32

of writing this book it has become clear to

34:34

me . I thought that

34:36

the generation was

34:39

a little more weak . If you read about Gen

34:41

Z , then the generation is weak and sick and

34:43

poor , and some

34:45

have that . But a very large

34:48

part of that group is ambitious

34:50

and is well-informed

34:52

and does well things and is well busy with

34:54

the future , and that makes me

34:56

very happy . So

35:00

I think there's a lot of hope for this whole

35:02

generation . But you have to read this book . I

35:07

think that for a lot of people , being

35:09

an eye-opener

35:11

, a life-changer , can

35:15

really give a basis for

35:17

how you want to give your future

35:19

. I think that the book , that everyone there

35:22

it doesn't matter if you don't know what you want , or if you do know

35:24

what you want , that

35:26

everyone will help you a lot .

35:30

Yes , I want to take another

35:33

theme out persuasion

35:35

, and I

35:37

know that when I get to know you

35:39

how you think about yourself , your

35:42

thoughts , what thoughts you have a

35:46

negative mindset , a good

35:49

mindset I

35:52

think that for me , at the

35:55

end , is life-changing . What

36:01

are your thoughts on yourself

36:03

? I think that's very

36:05

important . Can

36:08

you still remember how you

36:10

got into ARAC ? I think you shared

36:12

a lot with Penya about mindset

36:15

and your thoughts on yourself

36:17

.

36:17

I think so , but I

36:19

couldn't remember . I

36:22

couldn't remember

36:25

. I was 29 at the time . I

36:29

had few overwhelming beliefs . It

36:33

was different . I was pretty

36:35

much knocked out . I

36:37

thought I could do everything , that I knew

36:39

. Nothing was impossible . I

36:43

did show the opposite , but

36:46

I never had any overwhelming beliefs

36:48

. I was very

36:50

relieved . I

36:56

was a bit invisible

36:58

in the class . I never

37:01

had any fear of being kicked out . Do you know why you

37:03

were relieved ? I

37:05

was scared to death when

37:10

you got the message from Kolev Juzek . I

37:12

thought it was a drama .

37:16

Why is that ? Because you see that when it comes to expectations

37:18

of other people or someone

37:20

finds something in the class as a child

37:23

, then it's terrible

37:25

. If you have to stand in front of the class

37:27

and read something , everyone thinks that's

37:29

terrible . Isn't that a fear ?

37:32

That would be a fear . I

37:34

never experienced that as a problem

37:37

. I

37:40

was so relieved I thought it was a drama

37:43

. Who doesn't have that ? When

37:45

you have to stand in front of the class ? Maybe

37:48

at home , when you had a birthday , the

37:50

whole family was there . Tell

37:53

us that story . You thought , oh

37:55

no , I always had the same red

37:57

head . I was terrible .

38:01

Maybe everyone has that , but

38:04

what's striking is that some people are still having

38:06

issues later . Other

38:08

people are less .

38:09

I want to read a bit for you , which I think

38:11

is a nice piece . Why

38:14

do you think like you think

38:16

? I think that's a great question

38:18

to think about . For a long time , your

38:22

convictions are outstanding , without being aware

38:24

of that , especially

38:26

in young years and during your upbringing , your

38:30

life conditions , your income , your culture

38:32

, your education , your parents

38:34

, your friends and your teachers . You

38:37

don't have to do anything . What happens

38:40

is that , without you going through that , those

38:42

convictions are being beaten up and that's

38:44

your belief , even if

38:46

you haven't asked about that . I

38:49

call it your programming or your management system

38:52

, because during

38:54

your life , everything is programmed

38:56

in a system and that management system navigates you

38:58

through life . Compare yourself

39:00

to the computer . When you're born , the

39:02

hard-to-write and working system is empty . The

39:05

management system is version 1.0 . After

39:08

that , all the impressions are being pushed aside . The

39:11

hard-to-write is filled with all kinds of circumstances , experiences

39:14

, learning moments , feelings

39:16

and thoughts , partly positive , partly

39:19

negative . For

39:23

me , thinking about reads is

39:25

also a big part of the convictions you get . I

39:29

think that for myself , when

39:31

I was 24 , it was incredibly interesting

39:34

. My life has

39:36

changed because I'm aware of

39:39

why I think about money . What

39:48

thoughts do I have about myself ? What

39:51

thoughts do I have about my

39:54

friends ? And

39:58

I think that by being aware of that , I

40:02

can see that I've been given money from home , I've

40:05

been given work , and

40:07

how to see the results of my work Science

40:11

, of course . You

40:13

often see people from a doctor's family coming

40:15

from science . You

40:19

see that everything that has to do with spirituality

40:21

is not allowed to be or not to be included

40:23

. Why

40:26

do you think so ? Why

40:28

did you get rid of that ? Why

40:31

did your fate stop thinking

40:33

about it ? Because you

40:35

think you're good . That's how you hear it

40:37

, and

40:40

everyone has that in his own way by

40:42

the teachers , the mentors , but also your friends

40:44

A huge influence on your friends'

40:47

parents . And

40:49

then I asked myself how does your best life look like

40:51

when I was 24 ? How would

40:54

you like to work ? Is

40:56

it so boring to see

40:58

? Oh , but just grab a white , white A4

41:00

, and I'm going to look

41:03

at everything

41:05

again . How do I think about money ? How

41:07

do I think about health , what

41:10

you also see very often my sisters

41:12

have the food sisters . Almost always

41:14

people with overweight have

41:17

one of the elderly who also has overweight . So you

41:19

have a certain way , a certain habit . You

41:21

have to think about it in a certain way

41:24

seen by your mother or your

41:27

father . When your mother is an emotional eater , you often

41:29

take that over because

41:31

you just don't know anything else . What I see , what I

41:34

do , and I think that's really valuable

41:36

. When you're 20 at the beginning and

41:39

you look at what kind of

41:42

persuasion was very beautiful , what was super

41:44

valuable , what I learned from my parents and

41:46

where I could maybe find other

41:49

mentors or teachers for or

41:51

other books to see if I can

41:53

spread my thinking field , if

41:56

I can think of something outside

41:58

that frame , and

42:00

that's what I really hope . If

42:02

you're a young person with this

42:04

theme of persuasion , that

42:07

you can spread it and

42:09

when you succeed you're so much

42:11

freer because then you have a choice .

42:14

So it's actually about being aware of how the standard

42:16

is . This

42:19

is not reality . What

42:22

my vision of reality is , that's a perception

42:24

that's colored by what

42:26

my parents always said oh

42:28

good , if you've got this number , or

42:31

whatever elders say , or people in the family

42:33

, that's all going on . But

42:36

at some point in your life , that perception of hey

42:39

wait , I'm running a program . This

42:41

is I also have an influence here . These

42:44

are certain persuasions that are in me . Do

42:46

they bring me further or do they not ? That's what you

42:48

mean .

42:48

Yes , and I think the biggest difference is being

42:50

aware of it , and that's

42:53

what I really thought about you being aware

42:55

of it , because

42:58

before that I was just like that

43:00

, very much like I can

43:02

. That's just how I am .

43:04

Yes , what's actually good , which we also

43:06

saw in the research the PEG

43:09

generation that word , so that someone

43:11

from 18 or 20 , who says I'm

43:15

living my life like this and that's also because

43:17

I'm in the PEG generation and houses

43:20

are too expensive , that's

43:22

actually the persuasions that speak , because

43:25

if you look at reality , is Gen

43:27

Z now a PEG generation ? I know what

43:29

you think of that . I think so too . We

43:34

live in such a good time . There are so many beautiful

43:36

things , there are so many opportunities

43:38

. You see in the generation a kind of split-sync , where

43:40

you also have a group that has

43:43

real young entrepreneurs who know really

43:45

beautiful things to achieve . You

43:47

have only a laptop needed and you can build a nice

43:49

company . In principle , that's

43:52

it too . Why would you say this is the PEG generation

43:54

or that comes from there ?

43:57

I also understand that there are instructions

43:59

by the circumstances in

44:01

this time that you say

44:04

I'm now a victim of , for example , that

44:07

you have to pay rent for your study debt , then

44:09

you can say that's very annoying . That's annoying too , but

44:12

that's not why you're suddenly a PEG generation

44:14

and you can compare it to what

44:16

people say . But

44:20

you were born in the right place

44:23

in the right village , so

44:26

what ?

44:26

makes the difference , why

44:28

makes one the choice to be a victim

44:31

and why makes

44:33

the other the choice to be a winner . That's

44:36

the difference .

44:37

We described that in a book .

44:40

Yes , but people asked this .

44:41

But I want to go back to the point because Cindy had that

44:43

conviction One

44:47

of the first reactions I received from a mother who

44:51

bought the book for one of her children . And

44:53

she says I open the book on a

44:55

page where it says that you write

44:58

diplomats are not needed

45:00

. We have a head , a

45:02

piece of text about it . I don't think

45:04

diplomats are needed to be successful . So

45:07

she was very enthusiastic about the book and she

45:10

said yes , I'm not alone

45:12

there , because

45:14

this is false foresight . Diplomats

45:16

are very important because they have

45:18

to have something to fall back on . And

45:21

then she thought this is exactly what you mean with these convictions

45:23

. There are only a few people with

45:25

diplomas who are successful and have a nice life . Most

45:27

people just come into the big middle of the road and

45:30

they just go with them in the grey stream . But

45:32

most people who really have a nice life but

45:35

no diplomas in any case , the diploma

45:37

they have is not where they do something with it , often

45:40

the people who take the creative

45:42

people who do something

45:45

new every time . But if

45:47

you don't have that ability or you're afraid of it because

45:50

you just want that fixed salary , you

45:52

have to look for a job and then you need a diploma Besides

45:55

, of course . But the descriptions

45:57

are also expanded , they are very realistic . If

46:00

you become a doctor or a pilot , or for certain professions

46:02

, you need a diploma . You

46:06

have to study for a long time , that's logical .

46:08

Yes , I hope that people don't misinterpret

46:11

it when they listen to something , because

46:14

it is , of course , a sign that I am

46:16

a huge representative

46:18

of that , that you are

46:20

very well known in certain field

46:22

areas and you have a lot of knowledge , but

46:25

you don't have a HBO or

46:27

a HVO diploma or whatever you need for a diploma . But

46:30

I am a representative of

46:32

that . You are well known and

46:35

look for good teachers in that area

46:37

.

46:38

But that's written too . You

46:40

have to understand it very well .

46:42

Yes , sometimes I notice that people misunderstand us a little , but

46:44

this is just incredibly important . It

46:46

is a very big factor of successful

46:48

people that they do know

46:50

a lot about things .

46:53

Look , what I mean is , if you get your

46:55

HVO diploma with all sixes , are you

46:57

not good enough ? You only

46:59

have a diploma , you get an exam at the

47:01

exam , but you're not good at anything , so

47:04

that diploma is worthless

47:06

. It's good that you say this , otherwise everyone

47:08

gets angry . You just have to be good

47:11

at something , but a diploma doesn't have

47:13

that much to do with it .

47:17

Yes , there are a lot of assignments in this book

47:19

. I like that Because the assignment lets

47:21

you think about yourself and I think that's

47:23

very valuable to know yourself . I

47:27

think this is always a great assignment . I think

47:29

you can do it every

47:31

year or a few years , and

47:35

I think that they are alive for a lot of reasons . We

47:38

have written for the young goals , but this assignment

47:41

and many other assignments don't take time . You

47:46

have it . It remains an interesting assignment . On

47:49

page 16 , page 195

47:52

, research who has the most influence on you ? Who

47:54

of the people in your direct life environment

47:57

has the positive influence on you ? Who

47:59

are high-performance in your environment ? Which

48:01

people can help you to get to your next level and

48:04

who gives you a negative

48:06

feeling ? Who costs energy and lives

48:08

a single contribution to your life ? Who

48:11

do you even like to grow as a person

48:13

and why would you go so far with those people

48:15

? Look good at the people

48:17

around you your relatives , friends

48:20

, your parents and colleagues and

48:22

then put the relationship between your and

48:24

their behaviour Between their mindset

48:26

and yours . If you discover that some

48:28

people have a negative influence on you , why would

48:31

you go around with those people ? What

48:34

would you do to make it easier , for you Know

48:36

that you can and can make your own choice

48:39

here . That's not always easy

48:41

, but it's best for you . I'll

48:43

write the assignment further . One

48:46

write the name of the ten people

48:48

you deal with the most , and that's why we're

48:50

talking about where you have daily

48:53

contact with . So on your work , friends

48:55

, colleagues , family

48:57

. Two place the people

48:59

in three columns Positive influence

49:01

, neutral and negative influence . Three

49:04

put the star behind the name of

49:06

the three people you deal with the most . Four

49:09

put the circle around the three

49:11

people who have the most positive influence on

49:13

you . Five put

49:16

the line under the people who have the most negative

49:18

influence on you . I

49:20

think you're doing the assignment at PENYA

49:22

.

49:22

I just wanted to say something good about you .

49:24

I remember that you had to do this at PENYA

49:26

.

49:26

This was one of the first assignments I had to make

49:29

when I was 29 . PENYA

49:31

is your business coach right , yes , and

49:34

this was something new for me . You

49:37

don't think about it here , but

49:39

with all the knowledge

49:41

I have now , I know how important this is

49:43

. Penya always calls me . Show

49:45

me your friends and I'll tell you your future

49:47

. And that's true . If

49:49

you know who someone is dealing

49:52

with and how much influence they have on you

49:54

, you can actually predict

49:57

how the future of someone like that will be . With

49:59

one certainty , maybe a small margin

50:01

of error , you

50:03

can just predict it . So

50:06

there are still statements like if you

50:08

hang around with monkeys , your

50:10

life becomes a circus , and that's also the

50:12

reality with a lot of people . So

50:15

this is such an amazing assignment . You

50:17

have 30 assignments in total . This

50:20

gives so much insight .

50:22

Yes , I

50:26

think that you're going to go back to the part of

50:28

your conviction we just had , and

50:30

this is an assignment that you're going to look

50:32

at very consciously and

50:36

take the time for that to your

50:38

friends , your parents , your

50:40

colleagues . You're going to look at what

50:43

statements they often make about what they

50:45

can't do , how entrepreneurial

50:47

they are , and

50:49

if you're going to predict

50:52

that and you're aware of that , you

50:54

can also look at yourself how much influence I'm going

50:56

to have on me .

50:58

Yes , and how

51:00

was that for you when you said you were going to Penya

51:02

and you got this assignment , so you analyzed

51:05

who you were going to come with and what the influence was

51:07

. How was that ? Because

51:10

often , when this is done first , you notice that you have made a

51:12

conscious choice . How was that

51:14

for you ?

51:17

This was too long ago for me to give you

51:19

a good answer to that , but

51:23

I was 29 . In that period I

51:25

had a few very

51:27

ambitious , creative

51:30

friends around me . Anyway

51:34

, I'm not going to like people who don't like

51:36

me . If I don't like someone , I'll quickly get rid of them . I

51:41

was already 11 years old at home

51:43

, so

51:45

I didn't have much to do with the

51:48

influence of my parents . But

51:50

I'm going to make that list then , and

51:53

then there will be some names

51:55

on a list where you think , hmm

51:58

, why am I actually going with that person

52:00

? Well

52:02

, I might be a bit more radical in that that I

52:04

can quickly get rid of them , and

52:06

I know a lot of people have trouble with that . But

52:09

it's important to be aware of that and that's where it's

52:11

going to go , because if you're

52:13

aware of that , you can make a conscious choice

52:15

, and

52:18

you often see that as feedback on the book . We

52:20

get back that people say , whoa , I

52:23

wasn't aware of that . Yes

52:27

, my friends find

52:29

it annoying . Oh , there are these kinds of examples

52:31

in books . My friends find it annoying that

52:33

I'm so busy with my business . I'm

52:36

busy with the startup . The story

52:38

of the boy with the girl . The girl finds it a bit

52:40

annoying that he always has friends with her

52:42

company . She doesn't socialize

52:45

much , she doesn't really get any attention from him and she has

52:47

the same . I understand what

52:49

she means , but the boy is so

52:51

dedicated to building his business

52:53

he likes that and

52:57

that's a lot of feedback and I can imagine

52:59

that it can be difficult . If

53:01

you're in the

53:03

friend club and that happens of course with friends

53:05

and friends You're going in a certain direction

53:08

. We often see that with a

53:10

group of girls who get kids at some point

53:12

they're busy with that , and then there are

53:14

one or two who are not busy with that yet Because they're busy

53:17

with their business or with their job . And

53:20

then you notice that those friends groups grow

53:22

a bit from

53:24

each other . But you keep going with each other

53:26

Because we've known each other for

53:28

so long . But that's not a

53:31

good argument to say that we're still

53:33

good friends . We're just going around with

53:36

each other for a long time or

53:38

you still have to stay with each other for a long time . That's

53:40

a second one .

53:41

Yes , and then , in conclusion

53:44

, because we've just talked about the superstitions

53:46

and you say that the people who

53:48

deal with it most have influence

53:50

on your programming Because those superstitions

53:52

come to your hard drive , does

53:55

he often ask okay , I'm a little more aware

53:57

of this now . How do I get into contact

53:59

with the right people ? The right people are

54:01

the people who fit in with what you

54:03

want to do , so they have a positive influence

54:06

for you personally . Well

54:09

, you have to look for that . And how

54:11

do you do that ? How

54:14

do you find a coach ? Do

54:16

you ask a lot ?

54:18

Yes , and the question of the week

54:21

I ask you is yes where do you need

54:24

coaching ? What do you think

54:26

is a good coach ? Where do you want to learn something

54:29

?

54:29

Yes , so that's actually the question that

54:31

comes up . That often appears

54:33

, so it's not entirely answered yet , because

54:36

if you know what you want , then you can also find someone

54:38

who is good at it , who can learn something my advice

54:40

would be if you are looking for a coach

54:42

, don't go to Google and look for a

54:45

coach .

54:46

People who are a coach , a business coach . That's

54:49

more psychological than that

54:51

. People really know where to talk

54:53

about helping you out . There , however

54:55

, there are a number of good business coaches

54:58

they are , but what

55:00

I mean by a coach is what Cindy earlier said

55:02

it's a teacher . It's someone

55:04

who is very familiar with it , not

55:07

someone who calls himself a coach online . No , if

55:09

I want to learn Timmerer , I go to a very good Timmerman

55:12

who can teach me that . If I want to

55:14

learn sailing , I go to Hengdevelde , which was

55:16

one of the best sailors in

55:18

the Netherlands who could teach me that . Just

55:21

like with those voices , just like with Penya

55:23

business , just like with writing that I went to the

55:25

writer's school . I look for

55:27

people in a certain field of study and then

55:29

you come to a writer's school , other

55:32

people with the same thoughts

55:34

who want the same thing as you do , and

55:36

of the 10 you come across , you find three nice things

55:38

. If you come to Maximum

55:40

Potential , you come across a lot of

55:43

people who just stand in the life . If

55:46

you , they all have a life

55:48

question , a vision . They want to go somewhere

55:50

. You come across people who you like . One

55:53

of my teachers , rob , who is also mentioned in the

55:55

book , for example , he

55:59

taught me that story of Mike . You

56:03

can sleep better in the bathroom

56:06

than having the suite

56:08

in one of the Achenebes'

56:10

one-star hotel , because in that

56:12

five-star hotel you

56:14

come across people you want to meet . Just like

56:16

you're going to fly business or

56:18

first class , which I used to do , you

56:22

always come across people you know

56:25

during the flight , always . And

56:27

so what is the moral

56:30

of the story ? Those

56:32

people understand them in certain places that you

56:34

can look for . Then the question

56:36

is why they would have someone interested in talking to you

56:38

. So

56:40

you have to come up with a good story or a good

56:43

question or the added value . Why would

56:45

someone find that interesting ? But look for

56:47

places where those people come and that

56:49

are not network thieves . That's where you're

56:51

not going to find the people you have .

56:53

In my opinion , I

56:55

want to give you a quote from the podcast

56:58

you recently recorded with Tuko

57:00

Lopsang . She's on YouTube

57:02

Dutch under the title , which is very

57:04

nice Because he's a bit more

57:07

difficult to follow himself with his English

57:09

, but Dutch is about titles

57:11

. Please recommend it . Look at YouTube . I

57:14

think these are very nice questions

57:17

to ask yourself regularly . Where

57:20

are you now ? How did you get here ? Where

57:22

do you want to go ? I'll tell

57:24

you . I

57:29

think this is the core of the Mastermind

57:31

Academy . This

57:35

is where you help people to go to the

57:37

academy With everything they do in

57:39

the Mastermind Academy . But this is the question

57:41

we often come back to , and

57:43

here you have to think about it .

57:45

These are the most important questions for yourself

57:47

to answer . If you take the book together , this

57:49

is an important summary . If

57:52

you take it even further back to the core , it

57:55

also says that it is the statement of Peña when

57:58

I first came across it . He said Tell

58:00

me what you want and I will tell you how to

58:02

get it . And that is for

58:04

sure as a little

58:07

basis for the book . Just ask a question

58:10

. I know that this

58:12

book will answer almost every question . You have

58:14

Not every question , but almost

58:17

every question . I am convinced of that . That

58:20

is why it is an important book to read . But

58:22

if you only know a little bit about

58:24

what direction you want to go with your life , what

58:27

you want to do , then

58:29

you have to move in that direction and

58:31

then you will discover what

58:33

is needed , who you need for that , which

58:36

coach , which people . It

58:38

is a process , it is a path that you have

58:40

to walk . So you have to get

58:43

into motion . That is important and

58:45

it is important that you walk in a certain direction . That

58:47

does not have to be very specific towards

58:49

the goal . But

58:52

if you are really going to walk in a totally wrong

58:54

direction , then I think that you will not be able

58:56

to get to where you want to go . So that thinking

58:58

about where you want to go with your life

59:00

, that is important , and

59:03

ask good questions . But we also treat that as a broad

59:05

, just like these

59:07

four very good questions from Toolkoe , my

59:10

Tibetan monk teacher . I think

59:12

these are questions you can think about for a very

59:14

long time , a

59:16

day , a week , a month and

59:19

where you may .

59:20

Also , at some point you get a new insight about it and you find new

59:23

answers , but they are not per se

59:25

. It is not like you have a closing answer in one time

59:27

, that question or the kind of calculation

59:29

with a one solution

59:31

and oh , that's it . That is , of course , a nice question

59:34

actually a lot of questions in the book . It

59:36

gives you a new insight on the way to

59:38

those answers . Yes

59:40

, you can give it more guidance , but it is not like

59:43

you have answered all of

59:45

them in one time . Of course it does not work like

59:47

that and you see that with these four

59:49

questions , try to answer them in one

59:51

time . The chance is very high that you will not be able to do

59:53

that , and that is why I think it is Christian Amorti

59:55

. That is a question like a tree and

59:58

that plant as a seed , and

1:00:00

that grows and that grows , and at some

1:00:02

point you can sit in the shadow . So it is something that

1:00:04

grows , what you take with you and

1:00:07

what you will continue to bring , what you give new insights

1:00:09

. I think it is the intention

1:00:11

to find an answer in one of those things .

1:00:16

I am still curious for you . If

1:00:19

you look back now , there is something

1:00:22

you have done , and then I will

1:00:24

talk a little bit about the period from 18

1:00:26

to 25 . Where

1:00:28

you think it is very valuable

1:00:31

for the life you are now leading .

1:00:33

Good question . I

1:00:36

think there is a lot of it and I think it is difficult

1:00:38

to put it into one specific thing .

1:00:41

I can answer more . I

1:00:44

can think about it . I

1:00:49

think I have awakened my love for

1:00:51

reading books and I think I am

1:00:54

going to read again

1:00:56

through you and

1:00:59

I can say that I can

1:01:02

not even describe what an enormous

1:01:04

impact it had on my life If I had given

1:01:06

all the books I had written

1:01:08

to you . All of them had not been read

1:01:11

. If

1:01:14

I had not met you and you had me , then

1:01:17

I would not have read

1:01:19

the power of the present , I would not have read the

1:01:22

thinking girl wits . All

1:01:27

of those beautiful

1:01:29

, valuable knowledge I am going to read

1:01:31

again . My advice would

1:01:33

really be for people . I hope they will

1:01:35

discover it . Reading

1:01:38

has a lot of added value to me and

1:01:40

I think it is a great success

1:01:43

of the life I am now living .

1:01:45

Yes , it is interesting because now you say

1:01:47

this , I always thought when

1:01:49

you asked me about it , I got quite a lot of

1:01:51

books from people that

1:01:53

brought me to a new insight . But

1:01:57

now you tell me this I got the Alchemist

1:01:59

of someone from Paolo Coelho on my 16th birthday

1:02:01

. I thought it was a crazy

1:02:03

book because it was part of a fiction

1:02:05

world that you know , but

1:02:08

that also gave me the opportunity to give a message

1:02:10

in a book . Coelho

1:02:12

also worked on the philosophy of it . That was

1:02:15

a reason for me to continue to write in . So

1:02:19

that was the first book . I thought , wow , there

1:02:22

is someone behind a book that writes

1:02:24

something about it that gives you ideas

1:02:27

. I thought that was amazing . There

1:02:31

have been a number of books that I got

1:02:33

in those 8-9

1:02:36

years so up to those 25 , as you just

1:02:38

said , those

1:02:42

books gave me a new insight . So I started with

1:02:44

the Alchemist At

1:02:46

some point . I had no idea how it came

1:02:49

out of it , but through the study I

1:02:51

was organized at the university , there

1:02:54

were a number of businesses that came to pick themselves up and

1:02:57

I met someone who was there only once

1:02:59

. I never went to these events

1:03:01

, so it was a coincidence . We

1:03:05

were just talking about it . He

1:03:08

said you have to read Think and Grow Riches by

1:03:10

Napoleon Hill . I thought

1:03:12

I'm going to read that book . That

1:03:14

also meant a lot to me . A

1:03:17

year later a friend gave me a Master

1:03:19

of Mindset and now I'm

1:03:21

here again . So we have been books that

1:03:23

gave me a new insight

1:03:25

. I recognize that a lot .

1:03:31

I have one last thing to think about . That

1:03:33

helped me a lot . That

1:03:36

helped me a lot .

1:03:41

I have always liked to listen

1:03:43

to older people who

1:03:45

had a

1:03:48

lot to tell . So

1:03:51

what I also wrote in the book a number

1:03:53

of as I call them my teachers I

1:03:57

listened to . That

1:04:00

is Meneer Bordenwijk , meneer Karansa

1:04:02

and Ome Bül Bül Verwij

1:04:04

, the

1:04:06

founder of the old Fironica . That were

1:04:09

people in my surroundings . I

1:04:12

was a young man back then . I'm talking about the period

1:04:14

when I was 18 , 18 , until

1:04:17

my a little bit 29th and

1:04:19

I thought it was fantastic to listen to the stories of

1:04:21

those people who

1:04:24

were so far away in their lives . A

1:04:27

little like before that . The older people

1:04:29

from the tribe , from the village , told

1:04:32

stories to the young people where you could learn

1:04:34

something , and that's where I think

1:04:36

I learned the most in my life

1:04:38

To listen to

1:04:40

the wisdom , the wisdom of those people

1:04:42

. That brought me

1:04:45

a lot . Just

1:04:47

listen .

1:04:48

I think what is now completely beautiful

1:04:51

at this time and what was not

1:04:53

yet in your time . But I can imagine that

1:04:55

someone who just made that assignment that

1:04:57

you go and look at the people at your surroundings and maybe

1:05:00

also what your conclusion is that you don't

1:05:02

get a lot of inspiration from your friends , not

1:05:04

at work and not at my parents either , and everyone

1:05:07

is pretty negative , and

1:05:09

I can imagine . But how do I get out of here

1:05:11

? You can at least

1:05:13

start listening to podcasts now . There

1:05:16

are so many , especially internationally

1:05:18

, but I think the Netherlands is full of the Lotte Podcast

1:05:21

, the End-Base Podcast with

1:05:23

very interesting guests

1:05:26

. We can at least start

1:05:28

with that and then combine that with reading

1:05:30

books so that you

1:05:32

at least get your thoughts out of there

1:05:34

. Then the part where you

1:05:36

grew up , maybe with parents who didn't

1:05:38

have that , and you were lucky

1:05:40

because you worked at the radio , that

1:05:43

you got to touch with those people . But if you're

1:05:45

not there yet and

1:05:48

you're not at that job yet , then you start

1:05:50

with this and learn a

1:05:52

lot from that , and I think what you said then you eventually

1:05:55

come because

1:05:57

you might find something in a certain field of

1:05:59

field and then you go to a teacher

1:06:01

, and then you get in contact with the teacher , and

1:06:03

then you get in contact with the teacher and

1:06:06

before you know it , you two or three more and suddenly you

1:06:08

see a whole different network .

1:06:09

Studying doesn't have to cost

1:06:12

money , in my opinion , because

1:06:14

you can watch a lot of podcasts , watch YouTube

1:06:16

videos , you can google a lot of things . You

1:06:18

can ask a lot of things via chat . If you

1:06:20

stop there for a long time , you

1:06:23

can become an expert in a certain field of field

1:06:25

. You can learn a lot from

1:06:27

that , especially through all those

1:06:29

podcasts , listening to people who have

1:06:32

a lot to say so that they can speak out of experience

1:06:34

. The only thing that you can spend is

1:06:36

time . So the choice

1:06:38

to invest that time in yourself and

1:06:41

that's what I would also like to give advice to go

1:06:44

to workshops . I've been doing that

1:06:46

since I was 25 , workshops

1:06:50

especially about entrepreneurship and

1:06:52

success and leadership and money earning . Later

1:06:55

on about meditation and mind and psychology

1:06:57

. But go outside your education

1:06:59

, outside your school , invest yourself

1:07:01

in these kinds of things . The short

1:07:04

metaphor I would like to try to explain

1:07:06

these metaphors , the

1:07:09

title of the book is Design your Own Life so

1:07:11

that you can give your own life , your

1:07:14

future , your own life . We

1:07:17

don't say life is entirely

1:07:20

feasible . Everything is possible . That's

1:07:22

not true . This book is not for everyone

1:07:24

, because whoever doesn't believe

1:07:26

in it will never get

1:07:28

it for each other , but it is for a lot

1:07:31

of people and it is often much more possible

1:07:33

than you think . That's

1:07:36

one If

1:07:38

you Well , you think it's not true that

1:07:43

life is over and you can't design that yourself . I

1:07:46

would like to keep the following to you

1:07:48

. Imagine that life is

1:07:50

compared to a street where you walk

1:07:53

with all restaurants , there are all

1:07:55

restaurants , and you

1:07:57

are suddenly at the Chinese and you think what do I have

1:07:59

to do here at the Chinese ? I don't like Chinese , I

1:08:01

don't want Chinese . I'd rather go to

1:08:04

Italy or to Greece or to

1:08:06

whatever , to Japan . But

1:08:08

I see you here at the Chinese . I'm in the wrong restaurant

1:08:10

or I'm in the wrong environment

1:08:13

in my life . I don't like

1:08:16

it here , but I want you to

1:08:18

walk out and say go

1:08:20

to the sushi restaurant or go

1:08:22

to Italy or go to the

1:08:24

bread stand . Don't worry , you

1:08:27

have the same freedom and

1:08:29

maybe it's not directly to your luck , but

1:08:32

step up , stand up , walk

1:08:34

out where you are and go

1:08:36

to the place you want to go to the

1:08:38

restaurant you want to go to . Then

1:08:41

the next , if you come

1:08:43

to a restaurant , you can read

1:08:45

a menu card or

1:08:47

a QR code that

1:08:49

you can read what they offer there . Many people in the

1:08:51

world say you can't choose yourself

1:08:53

in the restaurant you're going to eat . You

1:08:56

just get a little bit of a shock . It's

1:08:58

nonsense , fucking bullshit . In every restaurant

1:09:00

you just get a card and you can choose

1:09:02

. And that's life . Life is like a restaurant . You

1:09:05

can choose what menu card you want to

1:09:08

go to . From what menu card you want to go

1:09:10

to , you can make a choice

1:09:12

. You can choose what menu card you want to go to

1:09:15

. People have the same menu card

1:09:17

, so the menu card from me might

1:09:21

be different from yours or yours , shors , but within

1:09:23

that menu card we have

1:09:25

a lot of choices that we can make ourselves

1:09:27

. So don't live in the misconception that everything is

1:09:30

shot in advance and if it's on the

1:09:32

table you

1:09:34

think well , I don't like it , so

1:09:36

that's how you deal with it . That's the metaphor . Shors

1:09:40

knows the story , maybe not even the

1:09:43

title Design your Own Life .

1:09:46

Yeah , yes

1:09:51

, tell me .

1:09:56

I wanted to tell you what I find a bit boring . We

1:10:02

live in Barcelona , and

1:10:05

then we had a good friend , richard

1:10:07

, and Richard

1:10:09

was a huge driven entrepreneur

1:10:11

, just like me , someone

1:10:14

who was really

1:10:16

enthusiastic , energetic , always had ideas . At

1:10:25

some point he had bought a very small

1:10:28

old vinyl card

1:10:30

in Mallorca , in

1:10:33

a very small village , where he said what do you need on that ? Mallorca

1:10:35

, it's fun in Barcelona . Here

1:10:39

it happens . And

1:10:42

that vinyl card was completely built

1:10:44

and attached and then he went there every weekend

1:10:46

and then he went to make his

1:10:48

own olive oil and

1:10:51

then he came on board

1:10:53

the day with a bottle of olive oil . You

1:10:57

know , he really lived . And

1:11:00

then we had it about I'm

1:11:03

talking about almost ten years ago , about

1:11:08

what we were doing and that I wanted to work

1:11:10

again . I had lived in

1:11:12

Barcelona for a few years and didn't work . We lived on

1:11:14

my boat . I said , yes , we actually want people

1:11:16

to help so that they can also

1:11:18

live a nice life , and

1:11:20

then we're going to make programs about it . And

1:11:23

then he said , oh , you mean a kind of

1:11:25

Design your Own Life . So

1:11:28

the title Design your Own Life is

1:11:30

thought through , richard . And

1:11:33

then we also named one of our first

1:11:35

online programs like that and

1:11:38

that program in the past years

1:11:40

. I don't know I've really

1:11:42

done a lot of people with it , but

1:11:45

Richard lived here in this

1:11:47

village where we now also live , and

1:11:52

it's really hard to tell . And

1:11:56

Richard had a dream because he wanted to be a pilot

1:11:58

very much , so he had a flight course

1:12:00

here in the village and

1:12:03

then he was going to fly

1:12:05

with such a small plane , you know such

1:12:07

an aero light thing , and

1:12:10

he was really happy . And then

1:12:12

he sent me a WhatsApp message and then

1:12:14

he said you've got a pilot friend . And

1:12:16

that's the last message I got from

1:12:19

him , because he

1:12:21

had his plane taken private and

1:12:24

three weeks later he's here

1:12:26

against those mountains

1:12:28

where we look out . He

1:12:31

was in danger With

1:12:35

his plane crashed and

1:12:41

, yes , I think that almost every day . And

1:12:46

he said then Design your Own Life . And

1:12:50

that's actually what the book is called .

1:12:55

Yes , I

1:12:58

remember that very well that we were on

1:13:01

board and

1:13:06

I heard him say Design your Own Life . And Cori's was

1:13:08

always so enthusiastic , Really

1:13:11

enjoying a huge life . And

1:13:13

the book . The

1:13:15

title fits very well Because

1:13:20

it is , yes

1:13:22

, what we think is very well understood . You

1:13:26

know , it makes life beautiful , Create beautiful things

1:13:28

, and Design your Own Life

1:13:30

makes you contribute beautifully . Yes

1:13:34

, it's nice that the title lives on .

1:13:38

Yes , and there's something we want

1:13:40

to report before we finish this podcast .

1:13:44

Yes , I see it a lot

1:13:46

on your social media , but

1:13:49

for what age is this book

1:13:51

now suitable ? Where

1:13:56

do you find it suitable ? For what age ?

1:13:58

Well , good question . It is meant

1:14:00

first of all for 18

1:14:02

to 30 . That group , I

1:14:05

think if you're a little younger or a

1:14:07

little older , especially

1:14:09

interesting , especially at 40 , I

1:14:11

still think you'll keep a lot of it , or

1:14:14

you would read it if you were 15

1:14:16

or 16 . Maybe

1:14:19

if you already have a goal from an intense motivation and

1:14:21

you're looking for it , if you're really

1:14:23

looking for it yourself . I think back to when I was

1:14:26

14 or 15

1:14:28

or 16 . I was still

1:14:30

busy with everything . I was pretty busy

1:14:33

too . I was a little bit of a money-earning on the Internet

1:14:35

. I was still doing everything Classes

1:14:38

, books but I wasn't so specific in

1:14:40

looking for this kind of theme . I

1:14:42

think that such a book is also a bit on your path . So

1:14:45

I don't know if you have to say well , this is

1:14:47

really the book for someone

1:14:49

who was also a little bit of a long-term now

1:14:52

12 , 13 , 14 . I

1:14:54

was really busy there . No

1:14:56

, I think .

1:14:58

At your own right . So I also

1:15:00

got a message from Mehrder in the meantime . Someone

1:15:03

said to me I bought my daughter from 8 . And

1:15:05

I'm going to read it to her , but

1:15:09

I really don't think that the

1:15:11

book is for someone from 8 or 10 or 12

1:15:13

. It just doesn't . You can translate it your own

1:15:15

way . I

1:15:18

would say at least 15 years

1:15:20

old , maybe an individual 14

1:15:22

. But otherwise it's just not the

1:15:24

book for you . Then you're too young , then you have to

1:15:26

do other things in life . I think .

1:15:28

And you see that , yes , parents

1:15:30

think far . But I really want my

1:15:32

child to read this . It's

1:15:35

also an interesting book for when you're older yourself

1:15:37

, and because you then see that

1:15:39

this is how the generation thinks and

1:15:41

you really get a sense of Gen Z and

1:15:44

we also have an investigation , a proposal

1:15:46

at the end , of what the things are that we see ourselves as

1:15:48

an older , when you think . Well , I indeed

1:15:51

have a child from 13 , 14

1:15:53

. And this book would be really perfect

1:15:55

. Maybe it's interesting to read

1:15:57

it for yourself . And I

1:15:59

think that , yes , you have a role as

1:16:01

an example for your parents . So your child is going

1:16:03

to do all those things . So you just

1:16:05

get a lot of things from your parents purely through what

1:16:07

they show , and maybe they also have

1:16:09

a bit of the answer there . And I don't

1:16:11

mean it's something you have to be afraid of someone

1:16:13

from . No , I mean when I was 8

1:16:15

, when I was playing hud on the building and outside .

1:16:18

Let me know , that's how

1:16:20

I do it , I know when I was 18

1:16:22

, I could live in Amsterdam , and

1:16:24

I can't really take it

1:16:26

into account now , because if I had received

1:16:28

this gift at that time , I would have not had it . But

1:16:32

I did notice I had a housemate who had been to Thunder

1:16:34

Robins and we were two years apart , so

1:16:36

I think I was 20 then and

1:16:39

she was 23 . It was Thunder

1:16:41

Robins . She was completely crazy . And

1:16:44

then she came home and I really

1:16:46

couldn't do anything with it . I

1:16:48

also thought it was terrible . I was not interested

1:16:51

in it . So I'm talking now that I was 20

1:16:53

. Four years later I

1:16:56

met you . You also

1:16:58

played Thunder Robins , ellen Woods , and

1:17:01

of course your whole boat is full with all

1:17:04

of these kinds of books . And

1:17:07

then it did touch me . But why ? Because

1:17:10

when I was studying , the question

1:17:12

was much more for me who

1:17:15

am I and where do I want to go ? While

1:17:17

when I was 20 , I came

1:17:19

to live in Amsterdam , I was mainly

1:17:21

focused on where the next party is . I

1:17:24

was just on my bike from Amsterdam

1:17:26

to go . I

1:17:29

went to lunch with my friend in the afternoon

1:17:31

and then I came home at four o'clock

1:17:33

in the evening .

1:17:35

Long lunch .

1:17:36

It was very alive in the present

1:17:38

, but it didn't bother me either . And

1:17:41

I also thought if someone had given me a book I would

1:17:43

have thought , yes

1:17:46

, fine , maybe I really threw it in the book and

1:17:48

I really wanted to give that to him . I

1:17:51

thought , maybe you have a son of a nine and you

1:17:54

could use that super well and

1:17:56

you give that to him and he doesn't look at it Later

1:18:01

. And then I know , just like

1:18:03

with me that friend who

1:18:05

also gave me everything with Thunder Robins without

1:18:07

even trying to do it , but of course she said

1:18:09

it's super interesting and I didn't find

1:18:11

it exciting at all . And four years later

1:18:14

I followed all the seminars for Thunder

1:18:16

Robins . I read all the books of them . I

1:18:18

thought it was amazing . So

1:18:20

sometimes it's not the moment , and

1:18:23

that's why it's quite difficult to say for which life

1:18:25

it is . And the one is maybe if

1:18:27

he's sixteen he already finds it amazing

1:18:29

, and the other maybe only if

1:18:31

he's thirty . So that would

1:18:34

be my , of course , old , or

1:18:36

maybe I really want to have a lot of

1:18:38

old . Then

1:18:41

that moment will come .

1:18:44

Or not . I would like to add yes

1:18:46

, there comes a listening book

1:18:48

version . We don't call it data

1:18:50

. We hope this year . And

1:18:53

for all the parents who say , yes

1:18:55

, I have to tell

1:18:58

the diplomatic my children

1:19:00

don't read that much . Then they just stay

1:19:02

dumb . I just think you're just going to read

1:19:04

it . We wrote

1:19:06

it to read . I think that's an important book

1:19:08

for a lot of people . We

1:19:11

are not from the listening generation . The listening book

1:19:13

you can listen to it later if you've read

1:19:15

it . It's coming soon . But

1:19:17

I also had some people with a visual limitation

1:19:20

who said come to a listening book . Yes

1:19:22

, I'm really going to do my best , but it's just a matter of talking

1:19:24

about it and until the summer the summer

1:19:26

break I'm busy with a lot of other things , so

1:19:29

it's not just coming . There will definitely be

1:19:31

a listening book version of it , and not only that , but

1:19:33

much more , but later on more Can

1:19:37

I ? Both of you , thank you very much for

1:19:40

this nice conversation . I think we

1:19:42

made a very nice book with

1:19:44

the three of us . I'm

1:19:46

super proud of you , super

1:19:50

cool . The book sold

1:19:52

well in the Netherlands on one in the list . I

1:19:54

think it's a what

1:19:57

do you call it ? A medal .

1:19:59

Mission accomplished . You

1:20:02

came with the idea of first-hand for the younger

1:20:04

, but when you put your mind to it , it's something very

1:20:06

different . I think

1:20:09

we really put something very cool down and at

1:20:12

some point , the idea of asking those 15

1:20:14

questions . I thought this would be a mega

1:20:16

challenge , has it been ? Has it been long

1:20:18

?

1:20:20

But it is a book like no other and

1:20:24

of course that is a very utopian delay

1:20:26

. But I would find

1:20:28

it very nice if everyone who

1:20:31

is in the middle school , in the last

1:20:33

grade middle school and then

1:20:35

goes a little further or goes to

1:20:37

study , that everyone will read this book

1:20:39

once . Thank

1:20:41

you , Read

1:20:44

Design your Own Life , and

1:20:47

then it's up to you . I also write that

1:20:49

in the back . Now it's up to you I've been there Design

1:20:53

your Own Life , lives your life . Thanks for

1:20:55

listening to this podcast . See you

1:20:57

next time .