Episode Transcript
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42:00
Listen to Jordan's heart. Listen
42:02
to Jordan's heart. In therapy and
42:04
in dating, that's Jordan's. Listen
42:06
to my heart, Jordan says.
42:08
Exactly. Exactly. You probably said
42:10
that at some point on your
42:12
mushrooms retreat, Nicky. Don't
42:14
get all hoity-toity with us. You
42:18
fucked a few therapists, didn't it? No,
42:23
the funny thing is, I feel like when
42:25
I first started doing therapy, my
42:28
very first therapist was like a
42:30
sliding scale, like I was like
42:32
broke bastard, and he was like
42:35
a student or something, you know, getting his hours.
42:39
And he- That was my first therapist too. Not
42:41
that guy. Yeah, which is great. I mean,
42:44
you can have like a great experience with
42:46
the ones that are in training. And
42:49
the problem was he would like, he started like
42:51
laugh at my jokes. And
42:54
then I was like basically testing material
42:56
on him, you know. And then I was like,
42:58
I don't think this is how it's supposed to
43:00
be. I think it was a part of my
43:03
problem. And I shouldn't have this
43:05
relationship with a therapist so that I'm, you
43:07
know, I found someone else. You
43:09
shouldn't be asking your therapist, does this need a tag? Yeah,
43:11
yeah, yeah. Like where did that,
43:13
where did I lose you on that? Once
43:17
in a while my therapist will bring up
43:19
something that happened on Hollywood Handbook this week.
43:21
They're funny. They're really funny. It's a funny
43:23
show. Like they're good guys too. Nice guys.
43:27
Yeah, I
43:29
have been going through a mushroom thing.
43:31
And I think, Nageen, the
43:33
thing that impresses me most about your mushroom
43:35
story is that as
43:38
a parent, you were able to
43:40
find a week to go to Jamaica to go on
43:42
this retreat. I know. My
43:45
neurologist- Isn't that nuts? My neurologist
43:47
sent me to this mushroom
43:50
doctor that she
43:52
was working on a research project with. And
43:56
my neurologist is like the
43:58
squarest human being I've ever known. sometimes,
48:00
you know, and I have not because it
48:02
is very hard to get,
48:04
you know, when you get those like
48:06
little 30 minute breaks where like you're
48:08
not needed anywhere for 30 minutes and
48:10
there's no one asking for anything, like
48:13
those are like my vacant, like those are
48:15
like the, the, like time off. I don't
48:17
know how to get a full,
48:19
like this was a very unusual situation to
48:22
get the other day of just doing that.
48:24
The other day. And we should explain, uh,
48:27
since you don't know, Nageen, Jordan
48:29
is childless though. He's working on getting
48:31
a son. I gotta get a son.
48:33
I'm working on it. These are people,
48:35
things we say on the show sometimes.
48:37
Nageen, people are freaking out that I
48:39
said that. People are losing their minds.
48:42
They're swerving their cars off the road.
48:44
They're like, ah, Jordan's got your son!
48:46
They said it! I'm working on it!
48:50
And, uh, anyway, Jordan, Jordan is
48:52
childless, but- It's very exciting. I
48:55
had, I had this experience the other day.
48:57
Black Flag smashes that watermelon. I
49:00
have, uh, I have
49:02
three children, all of whom
49:04
have significant developmental differences. And
49:07
so my life is just consumed by
49:09
caring for my children at all times,
49:11
including when I'm supposed to be working
49:13
or whatever. Right now, I'm caring for
49:15
my children somehow. I'm not sure how,
49:17
uh, I'm hiding in the shed.
49:20
Well, you're cooking dinosaur chicken nuggets.
49:23
Yeah. But the other
49:25
day I was on Reddit in
49:27
the number one drama filled action
49:31
subreddit, Ask Los Angeles. And
49:34
someone said nine to fivers. What do
49:36
you like to do after work? And
49:38
people were like, I, I always go to
49:40
the gym for an hour and then I
49:42
come home, make dinner and watch some shows.
49:45
So they're like, I love hiking. So most
49:47
days I'll go hiking, but sometimes I'll hit
49:49
up the happy hours. And like just all
49:51
these really pleasant, great
49:53
attitude things. Some people are like, I'm a
49:55
homebody. I just like to go home and
49:57
do some work on my quilting. you know,
50:00
whatever it is. And
50:02
my only reaction to this whole
50:04
list of just positive uses of
50:07
people's time was anger. Just pure,
50:09
just pure uncut rage. This is what
50:12
leads to shitposting. That they
50:14
have hobbies and positive feelings
50:16
about themselves. You
50:19
know what would be, not
50:23
summer boy, but sort of like Swedish
50:25
boy of the two of you is
50:27
if you combined forces. Uh-huh.
50:31
I'm with Smee. And had like, and
50:35
like lived collectively so
50:37
that you all, and then you
50:39
know, and you all
50:42
can raise each other's children, you
50:44
know, and your upcoming son, Jordan.
50:47
That would be amazing. That's a great idea. Yeah,
50:49
it'll be like being in an LCD sound system
50:51
concert all the time. All
50:53
the time. And then just throw on
50:56
some bakti riot in the background and
50:58
do your chanting. Because
51:00
I feel like every parent in
51:02
America needs to live collectively so
51:04
that we all get more breaks
51:06
and can like relax for five
51:08
minutes. Yeah, I think that's a great
51:10
idea. I also
51:13
think that it could help Jordan save on
51:15
rent, which in turn would help him build
51:17
his nest egg for son acquisition. There you
51:20
go. Yeah. I
51:22
could live in the shed. Yeah. Okay,
51:25
hold on. I have
51:28
to call movers. And
51:30
Jesse, give me the address of your shed. We'll
51:33
be back in just a second on Jordan, Jesse. People
51:41
say not to judge a fish by its ability
51:44
to climb a tree. Which is
51:46
why here on Just The Zoo Of Us, we judge
51:48
them by so much more. We
51:50
rate animals out of 10 in
51:52
the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity, and
51:54
aesthetics, taking into consideration each animal's
51:56
true strengths. Like a pigeon's ability
51:58
to tell a moan. including
54:00
yourselves will be on fake the nation.
54:02
We're going to come up with it. I've done
54:04
it a couple of times. I always have
54:06
a blast. It's so, so, so much fun.
54:08
Nagina's obviously hilarious. It's a fun time. And
54:10
y'all book funny people. I always have a
54:12
good time. We do. And
54:14
we also, you know, we have some unexpected
54:16
people that come on the show like Neil
54:19
de Grass Tyson and
54:22
journalists like Ellie Mistall, but it'll be like the journalists
54:24
that can hang and have a laugh. So
54:27
yeah. I don't like Neil de
54:30
Grass Tyson. So definitely tune in. Oh boy. I
54:32
don't like him because he- He
54:35
ruined Jurassic Park for you? Because
54:37
he made fun of me for being scared of the
54:39
ocean because it goes on too far. No.
54:42
And space. I told him I was also,
54:44
I asked him if he was ever afraid of space because
54:46
it goes on almost forever and
54:48
it kind of is unsettling. And
54:51
he just made fun of me. He was mean to me. I
54:55
mean, I've said to him point blank that
54:57
I'm not a candidate for ever going on
54:59
any sort of space mission. I have
55:01
no, like I have literally no interest and
55:04
I do star talk sometimes. Is
55:06
this, wait, now hold on Nagina. Is
55:09
this your official position? I mean, is this just
55:12
for when you're talking to Neil de Grass
55:14
Tyson or is this overall you refuse to
55:16
travel to space? Look,
55:19
I mean, okay. So as a
55:21
fellow migraine sufferer, I also have
55:23
like, I get like a motion
55:25
sickness. I have a lot of
55:27
little problems everyone. And I,
55:30
it sounds like a vomit fest. Getting
55:33
in a spaceship just sounds like
55:35
me vomiting for several hours and
55:37
then coming back or whatever. You've
55:39
vomited in a spaceship. You got to live with
55:41
that vomit. Unless they got one of those vomit
55:43
vacuums. Yeah. Unless there's a
55:46
shop back up there. Everyone has to live
55:48
with your vomit. So it just sounds
55:50
like an unpleasant experience for me. Um,
55:53
also what if
55:55
I die? I guess that's also part of
55:57
it.
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