0:00

Give a little time for the child within

0:02

you, don't be afraid to be young and

0:05

free, undo the locks and throw away the

0:07

keys and take off your shoes and socks

0:09

and run you. It's

0:12

Jordan Jesse Go, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's Radio

0:14

Sweetheart. Jordan Morris boy detective. I'm trying to

0:16

celebrate the spirit of summer right now, Jordan.

0:18

I'm wearing short pants, got a

0:21

short sleeve t-shirt, and I've got

0:23

my new thing going on, which is full

0:25

crew socks with shorts. Yeah.

0:29

Talk us through that. What was the

0:31

thinking that went into this decision? I

0:33

think those are comfy looking crews, but

0:36

maybe I would say probably making your feet

0:38

a little damp. So here's the thing, Jordan.

0:40

A lot of our listeners know me as

0:42

the king of the millennial generation. There

0:45

was some kid's future. You're a real girl

0:47

boss. We've always said you're a girl boss.

0:49

All my clothes previously were dusty rose colors.

0:51

Sure. A dusty rose. There

0:55

were people who had thought that maybe I was Generation

0:57

X because I'm bald, but in

0:59

fact I'm a millennial and

1:02

I am king of the millennial generation. However,

1:05

I'm also familiar with the world of

1:07

what I call Gen Z. Oh yeah.

1:09

So it used to be like Generation

1:11

X would be the... Then

1:13

Y would be the millennial generation that you

1:16

and I belong to. And then

1:18

there would be Generation Z, the people that

1:20

come after that, the younger people. And

1:23

one of the core principles

1:25

of Gen Z is

1:28

to wear taller socks. Wear

1:31

more, more sock. So

1:33

this year I'm all about

1:36

wearing more sock. Jesse, you're

1:38

looking positively brat today. Thank

1:41

you very much, Jordan. Allow me to say, huck

1:43

to a... I

1:46

want to spit on those things. By

1:49

things I mean your feet. Can I tell you

1:51

something? Not better. I

1:55

watched that, huck to a... When

1:57

huck to a was first going to ape. And

2:00

I gotta tell you,

2:03

I couldn't have been more charmed by that Hawk

2:05

Tua. I usually, the thing where somebody- That's why

2:07

it blew up. The thing where somebody

2:09

goes around and holds a microphone up to drunk people

2:12

or just bothers people on the street for TikTok videos.

2:14

One of the worst kinds of videos. One of the

2:16

worst kinds of things in the history of the world.

2:18

But I am really happy that the

2:20

Hawk Tua woman is like throwing out the first pitch

2:23

at the Mets game and stuff. I think she has

2:25

a barbecue sauce now. Steven,

2:27

can you confirm Steven Ray Morris, can

2:29

you confirm what merchandise the Hawk Tua

2:32

woman is selling? I think it's barbecue

2:34

sauce. Happy to look this up. Right.

2:37

It would be hard to be, I think a

2:39

disappointment would be to be the Hawk Tua woman.

2:41

Yeah. But the person making

2:43

the money from Hawk Tua is the guy

2:45

who bothered you while you were drunk in

2:48

Nashville. Oh yeah, sure. You know what I

2:50

mean? So I really wish her all the

2:52

best with all of the

2:55

special invited guests at a club, spots

2:57

she's booking right now, like a nightclub

3:00

where it's like a flyer that says all

3:02

night reggaeton plus special invited guests,

3:06

Hawk Tua. I

3:11

just really support her. Me too.

3:13

And I honestly, I really

3:16

admire and support

3:18

her commitment to sucking dick. Like

3:22

I think it's great. I'm glad that she has

3:24

a system. I'm glad that

3:26

she's so excited about it. I

3:28

think we should all be so happy

3:30

about pleasing our partners as she. Sure.

3:33

And you know, you can apply that to all

3:35

areas of life. You know, it

3:37

doesn't have to be sucking dick. It could be.

3:40

You could talk a big loogie on those dishes

3:42

after dinner. There you go, sure. Hawk

3:44

Tua those quarterly reports. Exactly.

3:47

These are my comedy guy polls for business.

3:49

HR. Yeah, how

3:52

about a memorandum on my desk by

3:54

five? Sure. Hawk Tua that. Hawk

3:58

Tua these facts. Cyber. See, there you go.

4:01

See, we're we we may be comedy guys,

4:03

but we know a thing or two about

4:05

business. Look, you know, we're office. Joe's just

4:07

like you. Yes. Uh,

4:09

pour me some more Java. I'm getting

4:12

a little drowsy. Sure. Water cooler. Accounting.

4:15

Okay. So

4:18

she, uh, this is, um, her

4:20

name readily available. Haley Welch. Okay.

4:22

She is, she earned 30 K

4:24

at a club appearance. She has

4:27

a merchandise deal with fat head

4:29

threads. Okay. And she is a,

4:32

she filed a trademark for BBQ sauce, hot

4:34

sauce, and other sauces, uh, used for cooking

4:36

and also a betting service called bet on

4:39

that thing. So sorry.

4:43

Hot sauce will be better. The huck to

4:45

a woman or the lead singer of offspring.

4:49

Time for a taste test. Hey, I got

4:51

some Steve Oh, hot sauce in my refrigerator

4:53

right now. So, uh, my

4:55

daughter went through a hot sauce phase

4:57

where she was putting hot sauce on

4:59

things. Oh yeah. And it coincided with

5:01

her, uh, jackass phase. So

5:04

that's when the Steve Oh hot sauce entered

5:06

my life. I bet the Steve Oh hot

5:08

sauce is pretty good. I would guess. I

5:10

mean, Steve Oh is a charmer. I promise

5:12

you that there's a guy performing in standup

5:14

comedy clubs for some reason. That's sure. But

5:16

he is, he is a charming man. Very

5:19

charming man. Okay. Speaking of performing

5:21

in standup comedy clubs for a

5:23

good reason, talent and skill. There

5:25

you go. Our, our

5:27

guest is a legend. No charm. Zero

5:29

charm. I really thought that was going to

5:31

be the lead. I don't know. I'm

5:33

kind of disappointed. A legendary standup. Charm

5:36

is fair. A legendary

5:38

standup comic. He's got a brand new comedy

5:41

special that is up right now

5:43

on YouTube. Anybody can watch it

5:45

for free. It's called dirt nap.

5:47

Kyle canain. Hi, hi fellas. I

5:50

wanted to jump in with so

5:52

much. Okay. Well, let's get into

5:54

it. We're here. So much prepared

5:56

anything we can, yeah, we can circle

5:58

back. Is there anything? Oh

6:01

no, I'm just fascinated with the social media, the

6:05

celebrity capitalizing on it. I'm

6:07

just, I always go back to

6:09

the laughing Chewbacca woman.

6:12

Oh, wow. If she wants to sit

6:15

down the hawk to a girl, here's

6:17

the mistakes I have. Sure,

6:20

David after dentist is like, I'm grown

6:22

now. Yeah, yeah, listen, you're right. Get

6:25

the cash now, think about your future, don't go

6:27

for a second. Also

6:29

her love life's gonna be rough because

6:31

there's gonna be an expected catch phrase

6:33

to be spoken. That's a really good

6:35

point. I'm worried about her, I'm worried

6:37

about her. Our friend and past Jordan

6:39

Jesse Go-guest, I'm sure multiple time past

6:41

Jordan Jesse Go-guest, Dave Holmes, when

6:43

he was, he became

6:46

a public figure upon finishing second

6:48

in the MTV Wanna Be A

6:50

VJ contest to Jesse Camp, a

6:53

famous dipshit. Just a

6:55

guy who was voted in.

6:57

Wait, there's another one? I thought I had that

6:59

time. Yeah. And

7:02

so, but the thing was at the time,

7:05

MTV paid so badly that

7:08

he could not afford to

7:10

have an apartment on

7:12

the money that MTV was paying him. Like

7:15

he literally couldn't afford,

7:17

not just like a nice, like he could

7:19

not support himself with his VJ money. And

7:22

so he and Jesse

7:24

Camp would go do

7:27

those nightclub appearances together where

7:29

they would just fly to the hottest

7:32

nightclub in Dubuque. They

7:34

would go on stage, say, hi,

7:36

I'm Jesse Camp and I'm Dave

7:38

Holmes, the competent one. And

7:40

then they would, I don't

7:43

even know, like have VIPs sit

7:45

with them at their table and

7:47

share bottle service or whatever. And

7:50

he said it was just like the

7:52

most difficult, miserable job he's ever had

7:55

in his life. And

7:57

it's, I don't know anything of

7:59

Jesse Camp. these days other than he showed

8:01

up at the Best Fish Taco Show kind of on

8:03

the street hanging out like, oh, who's this character? And

8:06

he was like, I do comedy

8:09

too sometimes. Jesse was

8:11

like, oh, that's the

8:14

guy. Because I know

8:16

it's the diggity dank guy. So when, sorry,

8:18

no, that's a different guy. I think of

8:21

Manny the hippie. That's Manny the hippie. Sorry,

8:23

we're thinking of Manny the hippie. These

8:25

were kind of contemporaneous. Are you Manny

8:28

the hippie, they said? What if we

8:30

took Poly Shores the Weasel character, shot

8:33

it up a few more times, pushed

8:36

it down the stairs a little bit. But

8:38

then I'm like, oh, he's still that. I thought he

8:40

was notoriously kind of like a trust

8:43

fund, fake street kid. But

8:46

I don't know the history. I'm not going to

8:48

say it for a fact. But then he's still

8:50

that character. I know Dave. And it's like, oh,

8:52

Dave clearly landed on his feet. Dave writes for

8:55

Esquire. He's a journalist. He's a music critic. And

8:57

he's doing great. And the first time

8:59

I said, I'm like, you were the guy. I remember that

9:01

showdown. And I'm like, and you're just a

9:03

normal nice dude. Thank

9:06

God. And to find out that Jesse

9:08

Camp is still putting on

9:10

a lot of bracelets in the morning. Sure, wrapping

9:12

himself in scarves. Yeah, he's still dressing up like

9:14

Steven Tyler's Mike Stan to go out in the

9:16

world. I

9:21

have something. I had a big moment over

9:23

the weekend that I wanted to share with

9:25

y'all. I actually got to fulfill a childhood

9:28

dream. What's that? So I

9:31

attended a Comic Con in

9:33

Berkeley. This is a convocation

9:35

of comic book enthusiasts. Sure.

9:38

The funny books. Funny books,

9:40

yeah. So little Lulu, Dagwood

9:42

and Blondie. What's Kathy up to these

9:45

days? Oh, so much. She'll

9:47

spit on that thing. As

9:53

it made it into Sunday Funnies. Actua.

9:58

Act on that thing. Act

10:00

two is an ironic tattoo

10:02

getting done right now. That

10:05

will just make no sense in a year.

10:07

She's always got like the sweat marks

10:10

coming over. Oh,

10:12

she sweat on that thing. I got to

10:14

get more tattoos around it, so it blends

10:16

in. The irony just has to blanket my

10:18

body. Sure, yeah. It has to

10:20

cover up the I like turtles kid. So

10:25

yeah, it was in Berkeley, it was called Cape and Calcon,

10:27

and it was so, so much fun if they do it

10:29

in future years and you're near the Berkeley area,

10:31

you should really go Cape and Calcon, so

10:33

much fun. Sorry, I'm going to be at

10:35

the Berkeley Bowl. They have five different kinds

10:37

of setsumas. Wow. Famous grocery

10:39

store in Berkeley with a lot of kinds

10:42

of setsumas. Well, yeah, you're busy, I understand,

10:44

but if for some reason you have all

10:46

the setsumas, you can eat Cape and Calcon

10:48

a nice alternative. Okay, great. And it was

10:50

at a brewery that was right next door

10:53

to 924 Gilman

10:55

Street, legendary on Croc menu.

10:59

Yeah, this is like where,

11:01

when I was a teen in the 1990s

11:03

in San Francisco, all the punk rock kids

11:05

that I knew, which was a big contingent

11:07

in my art high school and

11:09

fancy suburban middle school, both had

11:11

big punk rock contingents of rancid

11:15

fans. They

11:17

would go to Gilman Street, which was

11:21

by then I think already famous for

11:23

having been where Green Day got their

11:25

start, but also remained very credible, like

11:27

all ages punk rock venue. Yeah,

11:30

yeah, and I also grew up in that

11:32

time loving the punk rock music and it

11:34

was legendary. It was in, you read about

11:36

it in Scratch magazine. Maximum rock

11:38

and roll. Maximum rock and roll is a

11:41

good place to read about. Murder Dog. Is

11:43

that one? No, no, that's where there would

11:46

be an article about rapping for tonight. Oh,

11:48

cool, yeah. You want to know

11:50

the local rap scene in Fresno? Check out the latest episode. Do

11:52

issue a Murder Dog. Head

11:56

down to Borders and get yourself a Murder Dog. Yeah,

12:00

I'd always wanted to go. I follow them on social

12:02

media and always just kind of like, oh, one of

12:04

these days I'm gonna go to 924 Gilman Street. And

12:06

I was like, I'm right next door.

12:09

There is a show tonight, I'm just gonna go. And

12:12

I was so, the

12:15

thing I was wondering about the most is will I

12:17

be the old guy there? Or will

12:20

it be all old guys? We should explain this

12:22

show as she and him, right? Yeah,

12:24

she and him with the polyphonic

12:27

spree opening. All

12:29

the microbrews you can drink. No,

12:32

the show was, I had never heard

12:34

of any of the bands. The headlining

12:37

band was, they're called, it's

12:39

spelled R-I-X-E, Rixe, they are

12:42

a French hardcore band. And

12:44

I'm like, I'm just gonna go see Rixe.

12:47

We, you said. This year I'm working on

12:49

saying we. Say

12:51

we to Vida. And

12:54

also combined languages. Yeah,

12:58

so I, yeah, so

13:00

that was the thing. I'm like, so what

13:02

would you guys say? Do you think in

13:05

2024 a famous punk venue is

13:08

filled with actual teens or old guys?

13:10

Wait, I have a sub question for

13:12

you. Did you bring someone from the

13:15

comic book convention? Had someone come with

13:17

you to the Bay Area? Or did

13:19

you just, were you just full on

13:22

raw dog old man soloing it?

13:24

Raw dog old man soloing. I

13:27

did ask people. I love that era.

13:30

So I, you know, that is something

13:32

I have not done until recently is

13:34

like go to a concert by myself.

13:36

It feels, it felt weird the first

13:38

couple of times I did it. Like I'll go to a

13:40

movie, but I love a solo movie. But

13:42

like solo concert always kind of felt weird. And I've

13:44

done it a couple of times recently. It's kind of

13:46

fun. Jordan, you're the man that introduced me to the

13:48

solo fans. Which is when you're traveling,

13:51

I don't know if you know about this, Kyle.

13:53

This is an activity when you're traveling

13:55

alone. Or

13:57

even when you're traveling with others, but desire

13:59

some. alone time. That's where

14:01

you go to the fanciest restaurant you can

14:04

find, buy yourself with a book. Ooh. Love

14:07

it. Solo fans. Eat at

14:09

the bar too. Yeah, eat at the bar. If

14:11

you're not drinking a bunch of drinks, it's hard to spend

14:14

more than $60. So

14:16

you just go and do it. Well that's, yeah, that

14:18

stops me from doing that. You're

14:21

like, bring me another of your $24

14:23

complicated cocktails. I

14:27

have a hard time eating at bars anywhere because

14:29

I'm like, that's not what this spot is for.

14:31

And I always just feel like I just food out of the way.

14:33

I feel like I'm like, compact spot. Yeah.

14:37

Yeah. Cause I gotta go big

14:39

elbows. I'm always getting some like I'm getting like a burger.

14:41

So like elbows are coming out. I'm like, this is for

14:43

boozing and mixing and mingling. And I'm here

14:46

just getting ketchup on my shirt. I have a hard

14:48

time eating it. So a solo

14:50

fans, but it's solo going out

14:52

pro that no outside influence.

14:54

This experience will just be me

14:56

developing my own thoughts, not worrying

14:58

about riffing with somebody, especially seeing

15:00

music all about it. Pro

15:03

doing stuff on your own. Me about it.

15:05

Everybody. We should explain that when

15:07

you go see music, you're usually trying to develop

15:09

riffs with the other person. You'll bring a little

15:11

pocket guitar. Well, I meant, I meant jokes. I'm

15:14

not thinking, yeah, let me play. You're like, you

15:17

know, a free beer of the guitar tech. You let

15:19

you noodle. You get there early enough. You can sound

15:21

check. You can sound check. Yeah, you are. You

15:25

can play a music though. You play a you

15:27

play a music. Yeah, I see a cliveen of

15:29

like the shown up with a clipboard to get

15:31

in somewhere. I look like I can roadie. Yeah,

15:33

sure. I feel like very very. If

15:35

you just show up wrapping a cable you

15:37

brought from home, just bring a cable, start

15:39

wrapping it around your floor on the monitors,

15:41

sir. You're you're nowhere near the stage. I just

15:43

like to say more in the more in

15:45

the monitors. I think that cable thing, I

15:47

bet anybody who knows how to do that

15:49

because I did, you know, a

15:52

computer tech or what I like. I

15:54

was a stage electrician in high school

15:56

and I still can't do that thing

15:58

where you loop the cable the right

16:00

direction. And I can do it, but

16:02

it's really hard. But you know how

16:04

a stage guy can just go, whoop,

16:06

whoop, whoop, whoop, it's like a lariat.

16:08

You know what I mean? If you

16:10

can do that, you could get in

16:12

anywhere. I appreciate enthusiastic road crew guys

16:15

during, like that, we're part of the

16:17

show. And that are on

16:19

and off the stage and between the bands. But

16:21

you know they're aware that they're being watched, so

16:23

they turn it up a little bit. Thank you

16:25

guys. I love a guy in all black running

16:28

into the stage during the show

16:30

to do something. But he's also

16:32

like staying low like a fucking

16:35

commando. Yeah,

16:37

Delta Force came in because he knocked his beer over in

16:39

front of his amp. Beer

16:42

down, beer down. We

16:44

need another Peroni on stage, Peroni on stage. He

16:46

broke a string. That's a punk band. He's not

16:49

using that string. Don't worry about it. He'll be

16:51

fine. He's got four or

16:53

five others. So

16:57

what was the experience like? I was going to ask, what

16:59

do you all think? 2024 punk

17:01

rock venue, is it kids or is

17:03

it old? Well, having

17:06

been to that venue not

17:08

too, too long ago, I think it's

17:10

still kids. I think

17:12

that place still exists because it's... I

17:16

unfortunately don't think it matters to people like me who

17:18

had reverence for it. And now it's more of a

17:20

museum than it is a venue to somebody like me.

17:23

But I think it's still there for the kids. I

17:25

got to say this, Berkeley

17:27

is a special place. That's

17:30

why Kamala Harris claimed she was from

17:32

Oakland when she spoke

17:34

at the Democratic National Convention. Berkeley

17:36

is a... But I happen to

17:38

really like Berkeley. Not just

17:40

the Berkeley ball. I had a lovely time at

17:42

Berkeley. I think Berkeley is a place where... Berkeley

17:48

is the home of the

17:51

local Bay Area rap hit, gone

17:54

somewhat national vans by the pack.

17:57

Got my vans on, but they look like sneakers.

18:00

Like that song is about a

18:03

punk rock word for lady that

18:05

I won't use here. But

18:08

the idea of punk rock style was

18:10

very big deal in Bay Area hip

18:12

hop in the early 2000s. Like

18:15

I think Berkeley is a place

18:18

where local teens still support their

18:20

local all ages punk rock venue.

18:24

Even as punk rock has maybe, as

18:29

both pop punk and hardcore have sort

18:31

of aged in their demos, I think

18:34

there are probably still a lot of

18:36

local Berkeley teens like Ethan Frasen from

18:39

my high school wearing a

18:42

lot of black tank tops

18:45

with rancid things, safety

18:49

pin to them. A padlock

18:51

necklace. Operation Ivy, that was another

18:53

big one. Still

18:55

begging for that opp Ivy reunion. I'm

18:58

still plugged into the algorithm that gives me

19:00

like, Jesse Michaels got on stage with rancid

19:02

and sang knowledge at this party. They

19:04

didn't look at each other and

19:07

he left immediately after. And he gave me what

19:09

I wanted. I know, I get those too. They're

19:13

great, I'll watch every one of those things. Yeah,

19:16

Operation Ivy is the reunion that

19:18

everyone wants and there's all these

19:20

little hints that maybe it's gonna happen and it

19:22

just kind of never does. Is it like the

19:24

Fuji's where one of

19:26

them has gone insane and moved to Jamaica,

19:28

one of them committed some

19:31

sort of Bitcoin fraud. One

19:34

of them started doing steroids and

19:36

taking pictures in bikini thongs next

19:39

to his like purple sports motorcycle.

19:42

I think it's more the Eagles for guys that still

19:45

just try to do a kick flip in the garage

19:47

once a year. Got it. Prozz

19:50

recently released a diss track

19:52

of the other two members of the Fuji's.

19:55

And it is, I mean,

19:57

I wouldn't say that. I

20:00

have nothing but sympathy for Proz because I don't

20:02

think he should have committed those frauds or done

20:04

the drug mewling or whatever it was that he

20:06

did recently, I can't remember. But

20:09

I have some sympathy for Proz. It's gotta

20:11

be hard to be Proz in the Fuji's

20:13

and one of the other people are Wyclef

20:16

and Lauren Hill. Sure. And

20:18

you're like, can we please do some Fuji's concerts,

20:20

guys? Jesse just dropped a new track called It's

20:22

Gotta Be Hard To Be Proz. Yeah. But

20:26

it is truly, it is like a diss

20:28

track of the other two because it's not

20:30

like a hardcore diss track. It's more like

20:32

it's not my fault. The concerts all got

20:34

canceled. This type diss

20:37

track and it is like him

20:39

trying to be hard about it. And you're like,

20:41

dude, just go back to UPS. You

20:43

have a good job. Benefit,

20:45

you got a pension there. For

20:47

the plus column of how many

20:50

grainy videos of an Oppa Ivy reunion get, it's

20:52

the opposite for whatever's going on with the Fuji's

20:55

right now. I didn't even know Proz was a

20:57

guy. I've known nothing

20:59

about the Fuji's. But

21:01

back to this Jesse Michaels rumor, I think Oppa

21:03

Ivy, I think they might be too. They're gonna

21:05

do it at Riot Fest in Chicago. That's sad.

21:09

So I went to see- By

21:12

the way, I want people at home to know that

21:15

the voice you're using right now, Jordan,

21:17

and the one that you are using,

21:19

like for example, in those Comedy Central

21:21

promos, when you ran Comedy Central promos,

21:23

that's your stage voice. When you're talking

21:25

normally, it's the voice that you just

21:27

used to talk about the Oppa Ivy

21:29

reunion. Sure. You guys talk

21:32

like this all the time. I'm

21:34

11, but I just had a couple cigarettes.

21:36

So, okay, I went to see Riek say,

21:42

I paid by 20 bucks at the door, a little

21:44

steep. But I

21:47

was- Well, it's all ages, they can't rely on the

21:49

drinks. No, I know. 20 bucks? And

21:51

I maybe realized that when I got in, I was

21:53

kind of excited. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna see a

21:55

band, have a cookable drink. Oh, wait, fuck shit. So,

21:57

it was like already in there, but I was- I

22:00

was not the old guy. I

22:04

was an old guy,

22:06

but overwhelmingly teens. I

22:09

love it. Overwhelmingly just

22:12

dressed in a very down the middle,

22:14

like you described, unchanged since 1992

22:16

punk fashion. I

22:19

was the only guy there in an Aloha shirt. I

22:21

felt a little out of place there. Really?

22:24

Yeah. I know, I know. I

22:26

should have just brought the bad brain shirt with me

22:28

and slipped into it before I went. So

22:31

overwhelmingly a bunch of punk rock kids.

22:33

There was a little pocket of

22:35

like norm core

22:38

Uniqlo guys. I'm

22:40

like, what's this? That's really

22:42

interesting. Because I'm not

22:44

surprised about the old dudes either.

22:47

Like when I was, gosh, I

22:50

guess we were just out of college, mid-20s,

22:54

my youngest sibling was

22:56

like 13, something like that. And they

22:58

were in a band. And

23:00

they would do shows at

23:03

a club called the Rickshaw Stop

23:06

in San Francisco. Oh, yeah, played

23:08

Rickshaw. But they would play it at like 6

23:10

o'clock because they were young teens. They

23:13

would play with this other band. And

23:15

this other band, one of

23:17

the girls in that band, one day my dad

23:19

says, hey, one of the girls from that band

23:21

that Brendan plays with, her dad

23:23

was in a band. That's how they got into a band.

23:25

Have you heard of a band called Flipper? I'm

23:28

like, Flipper dad is 100% still

23:31

out of punk rock. You know what I

23:33

mean? Those guys are definitely still in the

23:35

mix. Well, OK, what do you feel about

23:37

when, oh, you're glad, like somebody stuck with

23:39

it. And it wasn't just a phase for

23:42

somebody somebody believes in the ethos. And good

23:44

for you because I think that's a good

23:46

ethos to support is the punk

23:49

rock, anti-capitalist thing. But it's like

23:51

also you're 60 and those dreadlocks

23:53

are terrifying. And you're bald. The

23:56

crust of this, the aging cruster is like, you

23:59

could still be. believe in the things without

24:03

grossing me out. The

24:06

crust was always a lot for

24:08

me, Kyle. Yeah. The gutter

24:10

punk thing was more than I could take.

24:12

But this, I got in trouble at 924

24:15

Gilman, because Hard Times was

24:17

putting on a comedy show there. They'd never done a

24:19

comedy show. And I'm like, oh, yeah. Because

24:21

not only like, oh, I could finally make these jokes

24:23

that I rather niche for this crowd. And

24:26

I'm excited because I still grew up getting

24:28

all the Gilman Street reports on Maximum Rock

24:30

and Roll. There was back when there was

24:33

no internet. And you just got to read

24:35

the weeklies or the monthlies. I got fucking

24:37

notebooks of Proz stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Proz

24:39

was coming out. You got faxes about the

24:41

Fugees. But

24:44

so I went. But I'm also like, oh,

24:46

I'm, you know, whatever

24:48

age I was at, 43 or 44. I'm

24:51

like, let's go get a six pack. We got

24:53

the green room. We'll drink some beers before adults.

24:56

I got yelled at. Like, you can't have that

24:58

in here. I'm like, burn

25:01

down every church but your own. Yeah. It's

25:03

like, that was my hard. That's wild. They're like

25:05

that hard. Because you know, like the big thing

25:08

about it is it is all ages, but they're

25:10

that into it. I mean, we were in like

25:12

a little side here. And I was like, I'm

25:14

an adult that's going to do this. Drink wine

25:16

coolers in the alley like you're supposed to. Yeah,

25:18

well, that was the joke. It was like, I

25:20

can't drink a beer in here. But you know,

25:22

we all have Narcan because

25:25

everybody's, you know, sneakily shooting up outside.

25:27

Like, but we, you help them. Addiction's

25:29

an issue. Well, then let me have

25:31

my issue in the green room with

25:34

these six fucking beers. It's safe here

25:36

for me to get fucked up. It's a

25:38

safe space for me to get kind of

25:41

buzzed. That's my problem. The punk rock ethos

25:43

is like this Ouroboros that can never be

25:45

fulfilled because it's like, no, we accepted it.

25:47

You know, addiction's a disease. If I can

25:49

throw a little 15 lyric in there for

25:51

you. But then, but I can't

25:53

have this here. But also like, I just, it

25:55

was very fun to lean into all that. And

25:58

so the couple of people that were pricked. about

26:00

it, we're prickly about it. But for

26:02

the most part, people were happy to laugh at themselves, which

26:04

I was glad to see. Because I was kind of worried,

26:06

like, are you willing to laugh at yourselves? I

26:09

would imagine that if you are Gilman

26:12

Street, though, you are the

26:14

most famous all-ages music venue

26:18

in America. Like, at least the most

26:20

famous for being all ages. Like, I'm

26:22

sure the Ryman Auditorium is all ages.

26:25

You know what I mean? I think you can get into

26:27

the grand old Opry. If you're 12, you can go to

26:29

the grand old Opry. Man, I saw Jawbreaker at the grand

26:31

old Opry. Didn't sell well.

26:33

Should not sell. Flipper open. Playing with

26:36

Mel Tillis. Weird double bill. Well,

26:43

it's fun. It was part of the No

26:45

One's Happy tour. Alan Jackson's playing Gilman Street.

26:52

So, but I think that,

26:55

like, given that they are probably in

26:57

America, the most famous venue that

27:00

is all ages, that is famous in

27:02

part for being all ages. Like,

27:04

there has to be a fucking,

27:07

whatever beer cop

27:09

enforces liquor licenses, has

27:12

to just hang out outside there, just

27:14

pounding his fist into his open hand,

27:16

going, Oh, get you Gilman Street. And

27:18

I bet that place is just always

27:20

in danger of becoming a sweet green.

27:22

You know, I bet there's just like

27:24

constantly like, when can we close this

27:26

place down and make it a sweet

27:28

green? Yeah. So yeah, it's great that

27:30

it's there. And I will say that

27:32

I did really appreciate the ethos of

27:34

the place for a while at Jamba

27:37

was squatting there. Yeah, exactly. And

27:39

it was a Jamba collective. We

27:42

are all Jamba. Yeah, we were, I was at the

27:44

brewery next door. It was very nice looking brewery. Yeah,

27:46

that's where the Comic Con was. And yeah, it was

27:48

like, I'm like, Oh, I'm sure they would love to

27:50

like put in a couple food trucks here, you know?

27:52

Yeah, I was looking for Gilman. Like we're driving there.

27:54

Like, this is, this can't be the neighborhood. We're on

27:56

Gilman. This is Gilman Street. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You're

27:59

like four. kinds of satsumas?

28:02

Will you tell me what a satsuma is now that

28:04

you mentioned it? Yeah. Okay. Seedless

28:07

really good. Yeah, they're the best kind of guy. I really

28:09

needed to be plugged into that scene. Fuji,

28:12

satsumas, things Kyle is wildly

28:14

unfamiliar with. I

28:16

was very happy that

28:18

I knew about their ethical code while

28:20

I was watching the band who fucking

28:23

ruled. They are these

28:25

three French guys who

28:28

play these kind of Ramonzi guitar riffs

28:30

and these very robotic drums, and they

28:32

just yell in French, and it fucking

28:34

ruled. But the guys

28:36

were giant bald tattoo

28:39

men with suspenders, and

28:41

I'm like, I don't know what

28:43

they're singing about. I hope it's good. I

28:46

hope they're singing about something. But I'm

28:49

like, okay, this place is so lefty,

28:52

free, pal, and stuff. The possibilities are, can I

28:57

suggest a few possibilities that are in

28:59

my mind? First of all, obviously, Nazi

29:01

shit. Could be Nazi shit. I think

29:04

you're right, Kyle, probably not given that

29:06

it's Gilman Street. I think they're pretty

29:08

careful about that kind of thing, I'm

29:10

sure. Yeah, you probably have to

29:12

sign a piece of paper on the way

29:14

in that says ceasefire now.

29:16

It's like a Moose Lodge.

29:19

Right. So I think

29:21

that's probably not likely. One

29:23

is traditional hardcore topics, whether

29:26

it's straight edge or a

29:28

different lane. I

29:32

think the third possibility is Super

29:34

Mario shit. Okay.

29:37

Why wearing red or green?

29:40

Well, what was right about the suspenders? Our

29:44

player read his brother was in green, and

29:46

there was a guy who looks kind of like the singer

29:49

in yellow behind touring in a van or more of a

29:51

cart. You're

29:54

about to get to the venue and then that blue shell hits

29:56

you. I was worried about the wall of

29:58

death in the pit. I slipped on a banana. Okay, let's

30:00

take a quick break. We'll be back

30:03

in just a second on Jordan, Jesse

30:05

Go. It's

30:19

Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm Jesse Thorne,

30:21

America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy,

30:24

detective. Hey, Jordan. Every

30:26

single episode of Jordan, Jesse Go is brought

30:28

to you, the audience, by

30:30

you, the audience, the members of

30:32

Maximum Fun. Folks who've gone to

30:35

maximumfun.org/join to become members

30:37

of this great and august institution.

30:39

And Jordan, for those members, we

30:43

are just about to release a new

30:46

episode of Gracie's gaming gauntlet or

30:49

game gauntlet. I don't think we've ever decided exactly

30:51

which of those is the name of the show.

30:53

I think we've said it both ways and a

30:55

couple other ones too. Great. And

30:57

it's about a game called Contraforce, the

31:00

best game we've ever played for Gracie's

31:02

game gauntlet. An amazing game when

31:04

compared to the other games we've played. Not

31:09

an amazing game if you take the

31:11

totality of video games, which includes a

31:13

lot of masterpieces. C

31:15

plus, B minus. Yeah, I mean,

31:17

at best. But yeah, it was

31:20

playable. I guess

31:22

the story, it was an unrelated

31:24

game that got the Contra skin

31:26

when they decided they could probably

31:28

sell a couple more copies. Yeah,

31:34

objectively a bad game, but in

31:36

the world of Gracie's game gauntlet,

31:39

it got damn pleasure. Yeah.

31:42

And needless to say, when we talked about the

31:44

game with Grace, she mostly

31:46

wanted to talk about Sorority Party

31:49

Massacre. Sure. A

31:51

lot of good stuff coming up on

31:53

Gracie's game gauntlet or Gracie's gaming gauntlet.

31:55

maximumfun.org join if you want to listen

31:57

to that series. Or.

32:00

Grace's gaming gauntlet or

32:02

Grace's game gauntlet. Sure.

32:05

Or Grimace's

32:08

green grocer. Well,

32:11

you know I love Grimace's green grocer. Oh yeah.

32:14

The eggplants this guy has. Oh my

32:16

gosh. There's a reason he looks

32:18

like one. Yeah. Because he grows

32:20

as well. We

32:23

have somebody up on the Jumbotron.

32:25

The Jumbotron is our board for

32:28

special public announcements. That you can

32:31

access by going to

32:33

maximumfund.org/Jumbotron. It's a message

32:35

for Betsy from Ruth.

32:38

The message reads, I wasn't

32:40

sure how to get messages

32:43

from my remote mountainside cabin

32:45

to yours. I tried yodeling

32:47

and semaphores. Nothing worked, but

32:49

I bet this will. Thanks

32:51

for identifying lurking themes, washing

32:53

vegetables, summarizing complex psych books,

32:55

and raising children first. Happy

32:57

40th to a day and

33:00

a year of Vermont nice. Love

33:03

and refrigerators. One hundred

33:05

percent something in there activated a winter

33:07

soldier. Yeah. No

33:10

kidding. You know, I don't I don't understand

33:12

what any of that meant, but it was

33:14

really nice. It had it was a nice

33:16

word salad. You know what? I

33:19

loved and refrigerated it. There

33:21

you go. That's really beautiful. I mean,

33:23

you got it. I feel bad. Hey,

33:25

if you're listening to this today, that

33:27

this episode comes out, come see Judge

33:30

John Hodgman. We are going to be

33:32

at the Fitzgerald Theater in Minneapolis. You

33:34

can find all the information at maximumfund.org/events.

33:37

And also New England is right around the corner.

33:39

So that means Western

33:41

Massachusetts, Brookline,

33:43

Massachusetts, Burlington,

33:45

Vermont, and Portland, Maine.

33:48

It is a real New England Stravaganza

33:51

for the Judge John Hodgman podcast coming

33:53

up just around the corner. So go

33:55

to maximumfund.org/events and get

33:57

those tickets. I

34:00

mean to see the Portland

34:02

minor league hockey team. They got

34:04

a nice minor league hockey arena right there in

34:06

downtown Oh, that sounds fun. I bet it is

34:08

fun. If you're in the Southern, California area I'm

34:11

gonna be doing some book events

34:13

coming up in October October 4th and

34:15

5th I'm gonna be

34:17

there at LA Comic Con So come

34:19

find me over there in artists alley

34:22

and on October 12th, I'm gonna be

34:24

at the heavy manners comics fair That's

34:27

a fun comics event for indie

34:29

comics zines that kind of thing

34:31

can find out information about that

34:33

at heavy manners library.com I'll be there on

34:35

the 12th. It's a two-day event, but I will only be there

34:37

on the 12th But I think it's

34:40

gonna be a blast. That sounds dope. You're gonna

34:42

pick up some chapbooks. Maybe. Oh, yeah You

34:45

got it. We'll be back in just a second. I'm

34:47

Jordan. Yes you go I'm

35:01

Jesse Thorin America's Radio, sweetheart Jordan Morris boy

35:03

detective Kyle Knane unlikely Birkenstock wearer I you

35:05

know, I noticed on my way in you're

35:07

wearing them very well. I think I think

35:09

you look great And I well, you know,

35:11

you were talking about you know that the

35:14

punk rock youth and you were going into

35:16

the socks or whatever Gen Z

35:18

is doing I gave in I never thought this is what would be

35:20

presented before you you're wearing 47

35:24

year old Kyle Knane's it's earned Birkenstocks long pants

35:26

blue jeans not an aloha shirt, but a button-up

35:31

Yeah, a fun

35:34

shirt a fun barbecue shirt. Yes, I'm for chilling

35:36

and grilling. I'm all about keeping the buttons low

35:38

This is definitely the shop went off of there.

35:40

You think so? Yeah, I'm gonna try it. Yeah,

35:42

go ahead. Okay. I'm gonna it's summer

35:45

Oh, yeah casual Friday. I don't know how's

35:47

this guys. This is okay. Do you feel

35:49

a little exposed? I do in a fun

35:51

way though I don't

35:54

even know why this buttons up. You're not supposed to button

35:56

the bottom one. Yeah, you know guys let's take off our

35:58

belts Let's take off our belts You

36:01

went quick. You know

36:03

what, guys? Dicks out. Let's

36:05

cut out. They talk to on each other's feet.

36:08

As a joke, I was just on vacation with

36:10

the Misses in Europe. They're like, oh, these are

36:12

like the finished saunas. And we're like wearing our

36:14

swimsuits. And they're like, nobody else is wearing anything

36:17

in there. I'm like, I don't know if, like,

36:20

what if I just hang it out the

36:22

top of my pants? The fact that that

36:24

would be so much more offensive than being

36:26

nude. And I'm like, why? Just

36:29

tuck the head into the elastic. Yeah,

36:31

what if I just kill Roy it up over the

36:34

belt? I'd

36:36

love to see it like exactly perpendicular,

36:38

exactly parallel to the ground. So what

36:40

you're seeing and then you surround it.

36:43

So what you're seeing is just that

36:45

circumference, just the top of the

36:47

head, just a little round. Just looking through

36:49

the telescope. Yeah. But yeah, we're just joking.

36:51

Like, are we supposed to be naked? I don't

36:53

want to be naked. Do I have to be

36:55

naked in there? And we're just like, what do

36:57

we do? And we'll put a towel over your

37:00

swimsuit. Like, no, it's just more hot than I

37:02

want the sauna to be. Kyle, earlier today, I

37:04

was watching your new special Dirt Nap while

37:06

I was doing my laundry. I was hanging up the

37:08

clothes on the line. It's good for that. And

37:11

it is of

37:13

all your work in the past,

37:16

it contains the most I've ever

37:18

seen summary of a Fast

37:20

and the Furious movie. Somebody

37:22

had to do it. You have turned

37:24

your stand-up comedy career into a recaps

37:27

podcast. This I

37:29

support. Well, you know, I

37:32

sat back and let everybody have their

37:34

Star Wars and their Lord of the Rings

37:36

and everybody geeking out over what they want

37:38

to geek out on. And mine happens to

37:41

be the Fast and the Furious

37:43

franchise. I love it. I just interviewed Tyrese the

37:45

other day for Bullseye with Jesse Phil. Oh, yeah.

37:47

We did our program. Is he a nice guy?

37:50

He was very nice. At one point, he did

37:52

say that he goes, this is

37:54

pre-recorded, right? Nothing

37:56

bad ever happens after someone says that.

37:59

Only good like. One time Swamp Dog was

38:01

on the show and he said, he goes, this ain't

38:03

live, right? And I'm like, no, no. And

38:05

he goes, good, because I got to take a shit. I

38:08

need to add to my list of exotic

38:10

tangerines and, and, and, and,

38:13

uh, Fugees. Who's Swamp Dog? Oh, you're

38:15

going to love the shit out of Swamp

38:17

Dog. Fucking whips ass. I already know. Swamp

38:19

Dog is a, Swamp Dog was, well, he

38:21

had been a, he was in the fifties.

38:23

He was a child rock star. Wow, child

38:25

never precursors. Like a little Stevie Wonder. He

38:27

was like a little down. Child never starts

38:29

a good label these days. He

38:32

was like a little round African-American

38:34

Jerry Lee Lewis in the fifties,

38:36

uh, on like the Chitlin circuit.

38:38

Wow. Then he stopped

38:40

doing that. He started writing. Small

38:43

racist cousin marriage. Writing

38:45

and producing, writing and

38:47

producing R&B hits for other people and

38:49

produce some big R&B hits. Wrote a

38:51

lot of songs with Gary U.S. Bonds

38:53

and other first soul star. Then in

38:55

the late sixties, he was the

38:57

first black A&R at

39:00

Atlantic. Then in the late sixties, he

39:02

just got bored and created a guy

39:04

named Swamp Dog that was

39:06

him making completely bonkers psychedelic soul songs. Cause

39:09

he was doing a lot of acid at

39:11

the time. That are

39:13

just some of the best shit ever. And he's so

39:15

funny. Just the absolute

39:17

fucking greatest Swamp Dog. Swamp Dog

39:19

abs. And oh, speaking of the

39:21

Ryman auditorium, at one point in his career, when

39:24

he was, he took the same interview where he

39:26

needed to take a shit in the middle. This

39:29

thing came up. He and Gary

39:31

U.S. Bonds wrote a song called Swamp

39:33

Dog Better Fun to Lily Pad. Called

39:35

Don't Take Her, She's All I've Got.

39:38

That was recorded by Johnny Paychek, the

39:40

country star. And was the

39:43

second biggest hit of Johnny Paychek. Like it was a

39:45

number one country hit. The second biggest hit of Johnny

39:47

Paychek's career after Take This Job and Shout Out. Like

39:50

huge, huge hit song, great song. And

39:52

they won a CMA, I think it

39:55

was, or a Country Songwriter Award for

39:57

writing that song. And

39:59

he told me. the story of them

40:02

being seated in the last row at

40:04

the Ryman Auditorium and having their names

40:06

called and walking down and everyone turning

40:08

and noticing that they were, as

40:10

he put it, n-words. It

40:13

was one of the best stories anyone's ever told on

40:15

a show. Anyway. Shaking

40:18

hands and didn't want to be shook on the way down. Thanks so

40:20

much. Thank you. At one point, Tyrese

40:22

goes, oh, this isn't recorded, right? I mean, this

40:24

is live, right? And I'm like, no, no. And

40:27

he goes, good, because I got to call E-40

40:29

back real quick. And

40:33

he just pulls out his fucking phone, walks,

40:35

he's in the studio, but just not sitting

40:37

in the chair, calls. He's like, 40's got

40:39

to pay me a new track. So

40:42

he just walks into the studio, he's wandering

40:44

around the studio, and he's going like, oh,

40:46

fuck yeah, 40, fuck yeah. And he's like,

40:48

get it down on the phone. I'm

40:50

glad that that's who Tyrese is. Yeah. He

40:54

during the interview also had

40:57

his assistant change his

40:59

flight so that he could fly home right after

41:02

the interview. But his assistant was like, well, we'll

41:04

find out if there's a seat in first class.

41:06

And he goes, if they got first class, give

41:08

it to me, but I just want to get

41:10

home to LA. And I

41:12

was like, yeah, you're a cool guy for Tyrese. Good

41:14

for Tyrese. What was he doing the interview? He was

41:16

doing the interview remotely? Yeah, he was doing the interview

41:18

in Chicago. Gotcha. I believe he

41:21

lives in LA and has a

41:23

Teppanyaki restaurant in his backyard. He

41:25

has his own Benihana. Has

41:27

his own Benihana. This is now becoming an

41:30

interview of me asking you about the... I

41:32

could just listen to it, but now I'm

41:34

fascinated with Tyrese. More so than I would...

41:37

Does he do the shrimp flipping or does

41:39

he get a guy? I think he must

41:41

get a guy. Any place could

41:43

be a Teppanyaki restaurant if you want to be daring.

41:45

But it's specific. You want to be bold enough. You

41:47

could just flip a lot of shit around in your

41:49

kitchen. That's a really good point. You could get a

41:51

hat. As long as there's another mouth, you can flip

41:54

something into it. You know? All

41:56

you need really is a talk hat or a

41:58

breast pocket. I'm going

42:00

to shrimp on that thing. Shrimp

42:04

in my mouth. Anyway. God damn, I love a

42:06

Benny Hadda. But are you, have you seen every

42:09

Faster than the Furious, Kyle? Yep. Couldn't

42:11

differentiate, but twix them. Yeah. If

42:14

someone asked you like, which is the point of the

42:16

bit, I also really like them. But if like someone

42:18

asked me like, Oh, like which one

42:20

is your favorite or when did this happen? Could

42:23

not tell you. I think the rock flexes his

42:25

arm out of a cast in six. That's

42:28

as bad as far. Oh, and they drag the

42:30

safe in five. Anyway. Yeah,

42:32

I remember bits and pieces. I

42:34

don't have this collector's mind or

42:36

a fandom mind to

42:38

put the facts down or need

42:40

this sense of completion with things that I

42:42

like. So I've just

42:44

seen them, had a blast. I

42:47

love that each one is they know they

42:50

got to turn it up. Yeah. And

42:52

they mess with the suspension

42:54

of disbelief so much. Again, not

42:56

to do the bit, but you

42:58

know, that's the madness. And

43:01

they know it. And I'm going to

43:03

sit there and have a great time.

43:05

And they've done somebody else did a

43:07

much more articulate summation of it where

43:09

they're like, they know exactly. Yes, it's

43:11

stupid, but it's exactly.

43:13

I don't want it based in reality. I don't

43:15

want to be, you're not going to devastate me.

43:18

I don't want them to not go to space.

43:20

I want them to go to space. This isn't

43:22

in the path. This isn't the path. Those are

43:24

the character to deviate. Like now the good guys

43:26

are the bad guys. They were DVD thieves in

43:29

the first one. And now they're in space. And

43:32

if the arrow, yes, everyone's

43:34

a hacker. Everyone can

43:36

hack. Should they fight

43:38

the devil? There are drilling machines aren't there.

43:41

You get to spoil the next one. If

43:43

that's a leak that you've heard, because if

43:45

they actually do have to fight the devil.

43:48

I have a bring supernatural elements.

43:51

I have been struggling with this with

43:53

mission impossible movies, which are my, I'll

43:55

say I've only seen fast and the

43:57

furious five. It's the only fast.

44:00

and I was into it for about 20 minutes and then it

44:02

was just two times. I just couldn't handle it. It's

44:04

not gonna be for everybody. Yeah, but the

44:07

Mission Impossible movies, I'm all in on, I

44:09

love that shit. They're a good time. I

44:11

don't know which ones of them I've seen

44:14

or not seen. You can't differentiate Ghost Protocol

44:16

from Rogue Nation. The other gave me a

44:18

stunt, I'll tell you which one the stunt

44:20

was in. The other day I did

44:24

probably eight references in a row to

44:27

Mission Impossible dead reckoning

44:30

on Judge John Hodgman, which I had watched

44:32

the previous night. My daughter said I could

44:35

choose the movie. You know what the fuck

44:37

I chose. Master and Commander

44:39

was checked out. Here we go again. Here

44:41

we go, Mission Impossible. And I

44:44

fucking loved the movie. It was the

44:46

most recent Mission Impossible. Totally loved it.

44:48

Not a, I don't know words of

44:51

criticism. Whatever freaky

44:53

shit Tom Cruise is up to in

44:55

his day to day life, punishing others

44:57

and destroying their lives indirectly through the

44:59

leadership of the Church of Scientology. There

45:02

is probably worth it. Listen,

45:04

I think everybody should be the person they

45:06

believe they are to be, but you gotta

45:08

look at what this guy is doing in

45:10

the name of just not being gay publicly.

45:13

This guy's gonna drive a motorcycle off

45:15

a cliff just as long as he's

45:17

like, just don't kiss dudes. There's

45:20

something to say to be bottling up that

45:22

closeted energy. The power is extraordinary. He is

45:24

jumping out of planes about a parachute, yeah.

45:26

It's a fire hose. And the entire time

45:28

I was calling Mission

45:32

Impossible Dead Reckoning, Mission

45:34

Impossible Ghost Protocol, I

45:36

had seen it the previous night. I

45:38

can't believe you made that mistake. I

45:40

had to record an apology for Judge

45:42

Sean Hodgman. I

45:45

love how nonsensical those titles are. I don't

45:47

know which, I will start one of those

45:49

on an airplane and it takes me an

45:51

hour before I'm like, I think I saw

45:53

this one. Last week on

45:55

a flight. I never know. I

45:58

fall asleep intermittently. I wake up. It's

46:00

Tom Cruise doing some wild shit. And

46:03

then there's an exposition scene

46:05

with Simon Pegg clacking like, well,

46:08

if we don't have the comic, you could cut all this out.

46:10

I don't know what, I've never known what's

46:13

happening. Oh yeah, Ving Rhames is in

46:15

these. One of the best parts of it is that Ving

46:18

Rhames and Simon Pegg have the

46:21

same character. They just wanted

46:23

a black guy and a white guy. So they're like, you guys

46:25

can both do it. Yeah, can you guys fit in a van

46:27

with a laptop? They weren't wrong.

46:30

They weren't wrong. They're both great. Oh,

46:32

watch them do anything. I know. Like,

46:35

they'll try and like kind of sorta

46:37

say something with those movies. They'll like,

46:39

it's a real afterthought. I'm sure they

46:42

just add it the day before shooting.

46:44

But it seems like they're trying to

46:46

like do a thing like Fast and

46:48

Furious, like their family. You know, this

46:51

is the de facto family. And it's

46:53

like- These people shouldn't have stakes. Right.

46:56

I'm not done, but your friendship. The friendship, yeah. Oh

46:58

no, I gotta go back for my buddy. But it's

47:00

like, they're trying to do that, but they refuse to

47:03

develop anyone other than Tom Cruise. And even him,

47:05

it's like, what is he? No, he's some guy. Yeah,

47:07

he's just a guy. But it's

47:09

so- Does his girlfriend die after every movie, like

47:11

James Bond? There is one where, yeah, where like,

47:14

there's a love interest, they'll end up together and

47:16

then they'll die in the next movie. And I'm

47:18

like, who would, oh right, okay, okay,

47:20

okay. Do you have- One

47:22

of the love interests is on the team

47:25

now. Okay. That happened in

47:27

this most recent one. Okay. And

47:29

I think she joined the team because

47:31

there was a new love interest. Like, I

47:34

think they were like, well, we got a

47:36

friend zone or something. We gotta like, put

47:38

boundaries on this thing. I'm

47:40

fascinated with developing the idea

47:42

of true love within those action movies.

47:44

Cause just, you see like the regular

47:46

couples, like, I don't know, what the

47:48

fuck do you wanna eat tonight, then

47:50

I'm sick having this conversation, Cheryl. And

47:53

meanwhile, it's them like, oh, we've

47:56

just dominated the Kremlin

47:58

spy plot against the world. world

48:00

and I saved you from a burning building.

48:03

I just still want to see them settled

48:05

into that. Fine, I'll watch another

48:07

episode of Love is Blind, I guess. Yeah. I

48:10

mean, we had fish last night. I feel like there's nothing

48:12

wrong with having fish two nights or I'll just get a

48:14

little sick. You loaded the dishwasher wrong. I

48:16

know. I don't know. I

48:18

just don't need a cream sauce dish. I'm going to change

48:21

it up. We're going to do something else this week.

48:23

I appreciate it. Hold on. I'm getting a

48:25

transmission. Hold on, I'm getting a transmission.

48:28

Kyle, you've given

48:31

me now an unslakeable thirst

48:34

for Michael Bay's the Lockhorns.

48:39

Zack Snyder's Dagwood. Dagwood

48:43

colon rising. No sandwich

48:45

too big. Well,

48:48

I mean, hasn't that been done? Hasn't that been

48:51

like Mrs. and Mrs. Smith or like- Mr. and

48:53

Mrs. Smith. Yeah, yeah. What did I say? Mrs.

48:56

and Mrs. Smith. Well, that's the

48:58

reboot of the woke mob has

49:00

their way. It would be

49:02

Mrs. and Mrs. they. Yeah,

49:04

what is a pronoun? Mission

49:07

anything's possible. Believe in yourself. Thank

49:09

you. So

49:13

tired of these libs inspiring the

49:15

children. I do

49:17

want to talk about this for nine more hours, but should we

49:19

listen to our moments? Okay. When something

49:21

momentous happens to you, give us a

49:23

like, someone delivers a message containing a

49:25

secret mission to you. Give us

49:27

a call 206-9844-FON or JJGO at maximumfun.org for your voice

49:29

memos. Just

49:35

send us a voicemail. Your phone's got a voice memo app.

49:37

Just take it out. Unless you get one of those dumb

49:39

phones. Yeah, say the momentous shit that happened to you, send

49:41

it in to us. Then all of a sudden you're going

49:43

to be hearing yourself on fucking Jordan, Jesse. Go. That's

49:46

your favorite podcast hosted by your heroes and

49:50

your sexual obsessions. Jesse and Jordan.

49:53

Wow. Just press play. And

49:55

Kyle, you're also there. You have left the button

49:57

undone on your shirt. I have. Feels good, right?

50:00

I'm good. A little more air in here. Hey,

50:02

Jordan, Jesse, and guests.

50:05

I'm going to guest

50:07

Emily Fleming. Close. I

50:10

wanted to leave a momentous occasion

50:12

today. I didn't have

50:15

to chase down the garbage truck to

50:17

have my trash picked up. We

50:19

moved into a new house a few

50:22

weeks ago. And two weeks ago,

50:25

when trash picked up day came

50:27

around, our kings didn't

50:29

get picked up. And so then last week,

50:33

I happened to be outside with the dogs when

50:35

the garbage truck came around. So

50:37

I had to, and they skipped our

50:40

house and I had to chase down the garbage

50:42

truck down about five,

50:44

six houses. And I asked them

50:47

why they skipped our house.

50:50

And they said, oh, well, it was marked the

50:52

service was canceled. I said, well,

50:54

yeah, the old owners canceled the service, but

50:56

we had started it back up. And

50:58

they looked at their spreadsheet and right at

51:01

the top showed canceled service, but four or

51:03

five pages back, add our

51:06

same address with new service started with

51:08

our name. And so whoever

51:10

set up their spreadsheet kind of had

51:13

a ordering on it a little bit

51:15

weird so that all the canceled services

51:17

were at top. And that's what the

51:19

guys were looking at. Anyway, so

51:22

I got my trash picked up today. So hopefully

51:24

we'll see what happens next week. Anyway,

51:27

I felt like that was a pretty

51:29

good moment this occasion. And yeah, so

51:31

hope you guys have a, are

51:33

having a great day and love you

51:36

and talk to you soon. First

51:38

of all, you don't need to explain this kind of

51:40

stuff to me and Jordan, maybe to Kyle, not

51:42

to me and Jordan, we know all about office

51:44

stuff. Sure. spreadsheet mixups, right.

51:47

Of course, the conference room booking

51:49

the conference room. Oh my gosh.

51:51

The boss. Yeah. The vice president.

51:54

Yeah. Um, pencil coffee

51:57

machine as, as someone who's moved into an

51:59

office. actual standalone house for the

52:01

first time in 20 years, I

52:04

can empathize with having the trash

52:06

out and then them not getting it.

52:09

I made an email, I'm like, well, I was

52:11

out there, you said, pick up that seven, and

52:14

it was out there. I'm like, sir, we have cameras on

52:16

the truck to show that we were at your house at

52:18

702. Wow. You

52:21

got me. I did

52:23

hear him drive by and then I pushed out real quick.

52:25

I'm like, I'm right here, I'm right here. That's funny. They

52:27

called my bluff. I'm like, well, you say trash starts at seven. I didn't know I

52:30

was the first goddamn house. We're going

52:32

to screw him. I remember when I learned my dad

52:34

got a newspaper subscription when I

52:36

was 12, let's say, San Francisco

52:49

Examiner, the afternoon paper. I

52:55

found out at some point that

52:57

if your paper didn't show up, I'm

52:59

sure this isn't true anymore since there's

53:01

no classified ads to

53:04

support all journalism. At

53:07

the time, if your paper didn't show up for

53:10

any reason, you could just call a number and

53:12

they would bring you a new copy of the

53:14

paper. They

53:17

wouldn't be like, well, make your

53:19

subscription go one extra day. They

53:21

would just bring it to you right away. There

53:23

was a newspaper. Power. They

53:26

have that and then the phone number

53:28

you could call for movie listings, but

53:30

also if you pressed five, you could

53:32

play telephone-based computer game. Did

53:34

you start your days as a child with your mom

53:36

calling time and temperature? Oh, yeah.

53:39

And be like, well, we got to see what the

53:41

weather is today. You just call the phone number to

53:43

get the, it's going to be cold out. It's going

53:45

to be cold out. I do. We

53:47

got that from KNX 1070 News Radio. I

53:49

almost still remember, to go back to the

53:52

924 Gilman, the punk hotline in Chicago that

53:59

you'd call. to just get the show listings. Oh

54:01

yeah. The MP shows listing for the weekend and

54:03

you just sit there like, what am I gonna

54:05

do Thursday? We'll do this Friday. Writing down, so.

54:08

Oh, the telephone, remember that? Ah,

54:10

the telephone. I will talk

54:13

to fellow olds, isn't it? I

54:15

will say they're like. They're a member thing. Party line,

54:17

okay. I like to party. That's

54:20

a good times. As a man who is

54:22

in a family way, which

54:24

is, say I'm pregnant. Congratulations. They're

54:26

glowing. But as the parent of

54:29

three children, I know Kyle,

54:31

you're childless, but there is a lady in

54:33

your life. And Jordan, I don't know if

54:36

you've ever thought about having kids. I

54:38

gotta get a son. I'm working on. Kyle,

54:40

that's my catchphrase. That's my catchphrase. The people

54:42

love him. I gotta get a son. He's

54:45

working. I'm working on. I'm working on. But

54:47

he's working on. It's like a lonely solar

54:49

system. Yeah. All

54:52

the planets are dead. And I

54:54

sage on everyone. I

54:57

must get son. I

54:59

have to say that like when there are five

55:01

people in your house, plus pets, plus

55:04

sometimes my in-laws, often my in-laws are

55:06

in my house as well, you

55:09

don't get more trash cans.

55:12

And the trash cans in Los Angeles are

55:14

big enough. Like I wanna emphasize that

55:16

they are big enough, but

55:19

you really get to the edge

55:21

of are they? Like it's

55:24

really, and lately Los Angeles

55:26

has started picking up compost. That

55:29

made a big difference. There's no way this

55:31

stuff is going. Again, part of the special. There's no

55:33

way this is going. It's all going in the same

55:35

pipe. It's going in the same pipe. It's all going

55:38

to Mayor Antonio Viragoza's house. Yeah,

55:40

this is not getting differentiated. Karen Bass

55:42

is. This is for you to feel.

55:44

Okay. Well, I'm glad to take

55:47

it because it's a third can. Yeah, that's what

55:49

I mean. Yeah, I'm glad to take it in

55:51

the third can, but like. I don't. Alright,

55:55

analogist guys. Happy analogist

55:57

everybody. Take it in the third can. This might air

55:59

in September. We're taking these

56:01

in advance. So,

56:05

but like, I think that was like

56:07

an essential pressure valve that the food

56:09

waste, that the compostable food waste could

56:11

go in the compost can. But

56:14

before that, I feel like the

56:16

number one unanticipated stress of having

56:18

a family was, will

56:20

there be enough room in the trash can? Like

56:23

there were times like at

56:25

Christmas when there's like

56:27

wrappings from presents or

56:29

like when we moved, like when

56:32

we moved, we were behind for

56:34

six weeks. Just weird piles of

56:36

trash from like taking things out

56:38

of boxes or whatever. So

56:41

much that I discovered the

56:43

greatest shit in the history of the world,

56:45

which is it turns out

56:48

that a half size dumpster only costs like

56:50

$120. So you

56:52

just give the dumpster man the money.

56:54

You could put anything. They will let

56:56

you put anything in that hole. Yeah.

56:59

Because it's going to the same place your other three chairs can. Drive

57:01

it away. Then they just drive it away.

57:03

I was going to say you could save a hundred

57:05

dollars. I don't know if you thought about what other

57:07

Angelenos are doing and just putting it on the street.

57:10

Yeah, I'm sure. Because that seems to be a popular

57:12

move here. Sure. Linking it out the

57:14

window on Western. Drive down Western. Yeah. Linking

57:17

it out the window. Yeah. Mattress

57:19

and a dresser. You're just going to get a neighbor out there.

57:21

I'll pick it up and I'll just be someone's house. I'm like,

57:23

okay. I do like my

57:26

biggest like dad fuss

57:29

pot thing that I do is

57:31

when I am walking my dog through

57:34

my Lincoln Heights neighborhood, I

57:36

will have my phone in my hand because I'm

57:39

listening to, look, I'm listening to some of my

57:41

favorite podcasts. It's a great time to listen to

57:43

your favorite podcasts. I'm just kidding. I don't like

57:45

podcasts. But I'll be

57:47

listening to my favorite podcasts. Maybe

57:49

I'm listening to Linda Holmes and Glenn Weld and

57:51

Pop Culture Happy Hour. It's a great time to

57:54

listen to them. I'm

57:56

walking down the street. I got my phone in my hand, my dog

57:58

in the other hand. If I see a phone. fucking

58:00

dresser. I'll open up that 311

58:02

app. I do that all

58:04

day. Sometimes, sometimes I will be

58:07

on one walk. I will report

58:09

five abandoned furnitures. And

58:11

you know what? They fucking come and pick them

58:13

shits up. Do they? On trash day, they pick

58:15

it up. Like right away, the next trash day,

58:18

they always pick it up. Really? That 311 app,

58:20

baby. That's impressive. It's incredible.

58:22

And I don't know. I mean,

58:25

I know why the city doesn't advertise this

58:27

because if they did, more people would

58:29

use it and then they wouldn't pick it up right

58:31

away. Yeah. I mean, that's like more

58:34

pressing issues, but there's large item pickup. You

58:36

could be responsible personally. I got a big

58:38

thing out there. Yeah. You can use your

58:40

own goddamn 311 app. Everybody, it's

58:42

free here in Los Angeles. Some call it the

58:44

first party line. That's a really good point. You

58:47

guys, it's a very horny

58:50

experience. Oh yeah. How big

58:52

is the dresser? How

58:54

oversized is the item? Tell

58:56

me about the mattress stains. Abandoned

58:59

Ikea enthusiasts. You guys want to

59:01

call 311, have ourselves a

59:03

good time and then come back for some more?

59:05

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and

59:07

Jesse Go. Jackie Kishan. Hi, and

59:13

welcome to the maximumfun.org podcast, The Jackie

59:15

and Laurie Show, where we talk about

59:17

standup comedy and how much we love

59:19

it and how much it enrages us.

59:22

We have a lot of experience and

59:24

a lot of stories and a lot

59:26

of time on our hands. So check

59:28

us out. It's one hour a week

59:30

and we drop it every Wednesday on

59:33

maximumfun.org. Hello,

59:35

podcast recommendation service. Hello there, young

59:37

man. I'm looking for a new

59:39

podcast to listen to. Something amusing

59:41

perhaps. Oh, what about Beef and

59:43

Dairy Network? Something surreal and satirical.

59:45

Well, I would suggest Beef and

59:47

Dairy Network. Ideally, it would be

59:49

a spoof industry podcast for the

59:52

Beef and Dairy Industries. Yes. Beef

59:54

and Dairy Network. Maybe it would have

59:56

brilliant guests such as Josie Long, Heather

59:58

Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman, and the

1:00:00

actor Ted Danson. Beef and Derry Network. I

1:00:03

don't know. I think I'm going to stick

1:00:05

to Joe Rogan. The

1:00:07

Beef and Derry Network podcast is a

1:00:09

multi-award winning comedy podcast, and you can

1:00:11

find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you

1:00:13

get your podcasts. It's

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Jordan Jesse Go. I am Jesse Thorne,

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America's radio sweetheart. Jordan Morris, boy detective.

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Kyle Canane, skip breakfast again. Do you

1:00:29

think it's hard? And you can't do

1:00:31

that. I had a peach. Okay. That's

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the most protein in there, but the peach is... This

1:00:36

is the season for to have a... Was it a

1:00:38

white or a yellow peach? I don't know. The missus

1:00:40

cut it up for me like I'm a toddler. Oh

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my God. Kyle put it in a little Ziploc bag.

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The pits look gross to me. I can't see them. Kyle,

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can I tell you something? Yeah.

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Sometimes my wife cuts up pitted

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fruits for me. Yeah. Sometimes a

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stone fruit shows up in my

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office in a little bowl already

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cut up. It is

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the greatest service anyone has. Yeah. Like

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there's an internet meme about how if

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you really want your husband to be

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horny for you or whatever, you should

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make him a sandwich and bring it

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to him in a sundress. And

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like that has these creepy MRA vibes. Yeah.

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And I'm like, no, no, all my wife

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has to do is cut up a stone

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fruit. I don't... It seems like too much

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work to... It's always worth it. A sliced apple is

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a treat. A regular apple is a chore. Yep. Yeah.

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That's a really good point. I'm going to get... I'm

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going to not want to waste. I'm going to get

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too close to the core. I'm going to get a

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seed. It's going to ruin the whole experience. Why even

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start? Yeah. 100%. Look,

1:01:38

we've solved this issue now, Jordan. During the break,

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I was going to say, is it hard, do

1:01:42

you think, for the at-home listener to know that

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we solved all of society's problems during the break

1:01:46

and they'll never hear our answers? Start

1:01:49

slicing up your fruit. Treat yourself. Yeah. Slice

1:01:51

your fruit. And you know what? Slice some

1:01:53

fruit for someone you love. That's

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a sweet thing I do. I also don't like

1:01:58

the fuzz on peaches. Oh, yeah. So when

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they're sliced, I can put

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my tongue on the wet part and then crunch

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the skin into the wet part and then it

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doesn't bother me. Me? Big fuzz

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guy. Really? Love the fuzz.

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Are you for real? Because you're a texture nut.

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And that's part of what I like about it.

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Oh, as Rachel put it, it's like biting into

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a tracksuit. Ha ha ha ha. That's

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what I like about it. That's the missus. She's funnier than me.

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But we both agreed, yeah, we like biting into these tracksuits.

1:02:25

Oh, yeah. Kyle, your brand

1:02:27

new special is called Dirt

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Nap. Look, you don't need

1:02:31

our help to get people to watch it.

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You already got the better part of a

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million views on this thing. Oh, hell yeah.

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I haven't even, my own narcissism, I haven't checked

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the view count on it in a couple weeks. You're

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getting real close. You're over three quarters. Over three quarters

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of a million. That's where I was when I looked

1:02:46

at it. Stalled out. That. Stalled with black show. Well,

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now you're gonna get the Jordan and Jesse Go bump.

1:02:50

Yes. Here comes. J.J.G. bump, baby. And the good news

1:02:52

is librarians count for 100 on YouTube. So

1:02:55

you're about to. Well, now

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we'll be able to get the Fuji

1:02:59

fans, those weird tangerine fans checking in.

1:03:01

What's that called? Setsumas? Yes, Setsumas. The

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algorithm is looking for mentions of the

1:03:05

word pros. To share, to

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feed podcasts, to people. Absolutely.

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By the way, in Mission Impossible Dead

1:03:13

Reckoning. Are you sure? The enemy

1:03:16

is probably, the enemy is an

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AI. And

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just this AI, whenever he's around

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doing stuff, just like a little

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digital picture shows up on whatever

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monitors are around. Not like a

1:03:29

max headroom style picture, but like

1:03:31

a little icon of like flashing

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lights that always looks the

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same. And I just like that the AI

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prioritized that. It's like, well,

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I have to have some sort of visual representation

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to help people track me. Yeah, so people know

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which computers I'm in. You gotta show up in

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the office once in a while. Yeah, exactly. Who,

1:03:48

is there a voice? No, it

1:03:50

does not do a voice. It's just when it gets into

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the computers, you can see

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it like on screens in the background pulsing. Like

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a little hell. All their monitors. Yeah,

1:03:58

they just had a big. Imagine the

1:04:00

production meetings they had about how

1:04:03

much they should show it and

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how much pulsing it should do. That was, yeah, it

1:04:07

was probably, someone probably, there was probably a fight about

1:04:09

it. Someone probably lost the fight and is still like

1:04:11

mad whenever the movie comes on. Tom Cruise is like,

1:04:13

I could pulse, I can do the pulsing. Like, no,

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it's not a stunt, Tom. It's not a stunt. Like

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someone's like, can I pulse off a cliff? Let me

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get that computer. I'll squeeze into it. I'll pulse. Somebody's

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like, this is not how computers work!

1:04:26

And Tom Cruise is like, this is not

1:04:28

how riding motorcycles work. Nothing in this movie

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is how any of it works. Only practical

1:04:32

effects. Let me pulse in that box. Do

1:04:34

you think this is how the Orient

1:04:36

Express works? This is not how

1:04:38

opera raves work. Anyway,

1:04:44

Kyle's new special is called Dartnap. You can

1:04:46

watch it for free on YouTube. Like

1:04:49

any of Kyle's work, it's just about as funny

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as it gets. Absolutely

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hilarious. Kyle is one

1:04:56

of the legends for a reason. And you're

1:04:58

also, you've been working the road. You headed

1:05:00

out anywhere? Yeah, this won't be airing in

1:05:02

anal August. This will

1:05:05

probably be airing in anal September.

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Anal early September. I

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don't know where I'm going. That's within a couple of

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weeks. Watch out for Kyle. Maybe I'm all over the

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place. That's all I do. I'm just a comic now.

1:05:18

This guy works. That's what I want to do. This

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guy's living in Oregon, traveling the nation, providing people with

1:05:23

laughs. You know, somebody's got

1:05:25

to be the traveling salesman. Somebody's

1:05:27

got to be the traveler. You're providing people

1:05:29

with laughs and vacuum

1:05:31

cleaners. Sure. You got a

1:05:33

combo now. It's tough out there. High quality knife

1:05:35

sets. Everyone has to, yes, you got to have

1:05:38

a side hustle. I'm also with Cutco. Oh yeah.

1:05:40

And you know I'm coming back forever. Yeah, I'm

1:05:42

going to come back through in a year, upgrade

1:05:44

your set, anything breaks, I'll replace it next time

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I get a date. That's no... Absolutely. Call your

1:05:49

local comedy park. Get me back in there. What's

1:05:51

that? You need brushes? Well, Kyle Canane's your local

1:05:53

fuller brush representative. Mm-hmm. So look

1:05:56

out farmer's wives. Canane's

1:05:58

on the road. Look

1:06:00

out, farmers. You'll be pregnant soon

1:06:02

enough. This your husband,

1:06:04

old man. Keep

1:06:07

a respectable distance out here on the porch,

1:06:09

Will. Even Stephen Ray Morris is the producer

1:06:12

of Jordan, Jesse Go. Brian Fernandez, our producer

1:06:14

emeritus. Our theme music is Love You by

1:06:16

the Free Design, courtesy of the Free Design

1:06:18

and Light in the Attic Records. Find

1:06:20

us on social media at

1:06:24

Jordan, Jesse Go Pod on

1:06:27

Instagram at Jordan

1:06:29

David Morris and at JesseThorn,

1:06:31

very famous. We are

1:06:33

also on Twitter at Jordan, Jesse Go.

1:06:36

We are on Facebook at

1:06:38

facebook.com/Jordan, Jesse Go. I

1:06:40

hope that we will see you out on the road as we

1:06:42

go out on the road, Jordan. Still got some more cons around

1:06:44

the corner. And I'm headed out

1:06:47

there on the Judge John Hodgman Road

1:06:49

Court tour. So as this airs, I

1:06:51

hope I will be seeing you in

1:06:53

the Northeast and in the central Midwest,

1:06:55

I believe, is the next stop. After

1:06:57

that, I believe we will be in

1:07:01

Madison, in Minneapolis,

1:07:04

in other places around there.

1:07:06

The greatest of planes. Yeah.

1:07:08

maximumfun.org/events is where you can

1:07:10

find all that info. And we will talk to you next

1:07:12

time on Jordan, Jesse Go. I'll hug you and kiss

1:07:14

you and love you. Love you. Love

1:07:16

you. Love you. Love you. Love

1:07:19

you. Love

1:07:21

you. Thank

1:07:26

you. Maximum

1:07:29

Fun. A worker-owned network. Of

1:07:32

artist-owned shows. Supported directly

1:07:35

by you.