0:00

Give a little time for the child within

0:03

you. Don't be afraid to be young

0:05

and free. Undo the locks and

0:07

throw away the keys and take off your shoes

0:09

and socks and run you. It's

0:12

Jordan Jessica. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's

0:14

Radio Sweetheart. A Jordan Morris boy

0:16

detective. Beautiful. What is that?

0:18

A Hampton Inn you're in, Jordan? Looks gorgeous

0:21

out there. I'm in a Hampton Inn. It's

0:23

very comfortable. TNT on the

0:25

TV. I mean, I'm loving it. So

0:28

you're a TNT guy. You're not an HGTV

0:30

guy. No, I've been

0:32

doing TNT. They're showing those new

0:34

Godzilla movies a lot. That's

0:37

a fun thing to watch in

0:39

the hotel. Also, you'll get a Star Wars prequel

0:41

every now and then. And a Star Wars prequel

0:43

is a real fun thing to watch 20 minutes

0:45

of. Yeah. I mean, that way

0:48

you get to enjoy... What is it good about

0:50

them? You just get

0:52

to see all the little, like, freaks that he

0:55

dumped into there. He dumped in a

0:57

lot of nasty freaks. Yeah. George loved

0:59

to dump in some freaks. He could

1:01

kind of, like, enjoy them while you're,

1:03

like, getting ready to go to your

1:05

thing or to go down and get

1:07

your complimentary breakfast. Hey, George,

1:10

it's Steven Spielberg. Hey, I

1:12

got a tip for you, buddy. Dump out

1:14

those nasty freaks. Steve,

1:17

I'm way ahead of you. I

1:21

like that. Have you watched any particular Star

1:23

Wars prequels? Number one, number two, number three?

1:27

You know, I'll be honest, when you're doing it,

1:29

when you're doing them TNT style, TNT hotel

1:31

room style, they all kind of run together.

1:34

I understand that. I mean... But I think that means that they're of

1:36

a piece, you know? When it

1:38

comes to putting stuff on the

1:40

screen, it's tough to beat the

1:42

Star Wars prequels. You really... You

1:45

can really see the budget in the

1:47

number of things in each shot. Yes.

1:50

You know what I mean? Most things

1:52

in guys, things in guys, both.

1:56

Vehicles, talking about vehicles. And I

1:58

guess a freak is... both a thing

2:00

and a guy. Sure, that's a

2:02

really good point. Can

2:05

I tell you the most delightful thing I've seen at

2:08

Baltimore Comic Con, which is where I'm

2:10

in the Hampton Inn because I was attending Baltimore

2:12

Comic Con? Yeah, if Jordan

2:14

sounds a little more Old Bay

2:16

seasoned. Oh man, Jesse,

2:18

I'm so full of Old Bay right now. Good

2:23

for you. Yeah. Old Bay,

2:25

isn't that what Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriends call

2:27

him? Anyway, you could just say whatever

2:29

on a podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast.

2:31

It's just saying words. Yeah, you say

2:34

stuff. So

2:36

Comic Cons usually take place in the local

2:38

convention center and they have this kind of

2:41

like ... There's

2:43

this infrastructure there. There's this

2:45

just great Comic

2:47

Con this weekend, get

2:49

them out of there. We got to move in

2:51

the CPAP Salesman Convention

2:53

next week. There's

2:55

just this stuff there that's there for everybody. But

3:02

they try and gussy it up sometimes

3:04

with Comic Con stuff. They try their

3:06

best. In the little

3:09

food service area where they serve

3:11

the personal Papa John's

3:13

pan pizzas or whatever. Usually

3:16

how they do this is by changing

3:18

the signage to be in

3:21

comic book word bubbles, like

3:23

clip art style comic book word bubbles.

3:27

So just standard signage, but they put

3:29

a word bubble around it? Yeah, but

3:31

sometimes they try to speak the language

3:33

a little bit and the folks at

3:36

Baltimore Comic Con did a really good

3:38

job. Over by

3:40

the food area, there

3:42

was a word bubble around the

3:44

menu and it said, Avengers assemble

3:47

for burgers and fries, of course. Of

3:51

course. Of course. Of

3:54

course. That's why they're assembling.

3:57

Of course. Not to fight Galactus. But for burgers. Burgers

4:00

and fries. Magneto or

4:02

whatever. Yeah. They're

4:05

not, there's nothing going on with

4:07

Magneto. The reason they're assembling is

4:09

for burgers and fries. And then

4:11

Spider-Man raises one finger and he

4:13

says, uh, you guys got onion

4:15

rings? Spidey.

4:18

And then the Hulk beats the shit out of him. Yeah,

4:22

he's like bleeding. Yeah. Just

4:24

on the ground, just in a pool of blood and a

4:26

little bit of vomit. Really brutal. Just

4:28

like around the corners of his spider mouth.

4:31

And then the critics are all

4:33

like, superhero movies are growing up. Yeah.

4:36

And then I'm like, eh,

4:38

three out of five. Sure. You

4:41

know, yeah, I'm not mad I went, but I

4:44

wasn't nuts if it's no American splendor, I

4:46

say. But you wish, you wish you got

4:48

onion rings. Yeah, I really do wish I

4:50

had fucking onion rings right now. Oh, I

4:53

love onion rings. So much better than french

4:55

fries. Also at this

4:57

con, I noticed, a

4:59

lot of contact on the podcast these

5:01

days. It's just what I'm up to.

5:03

I'm sorry. I don't have a lot

5:05

else going on. You've got a national

5:07

bestseller on your hands. Youth Group by

5:09

Jordan Morris, national bestseller. You gotta get

5:11

out there to those cons and press

5:14

the flesh. You have to. You

5:16

gotta trade books for CPAPs.

5:18

Sure. That's

5:21

how it works. Yep. You're

5:23

going out, the CPAP guys are coming in and

5:25

you just, you hand them off the book and

5:27

they give you the rig. One time

5:29

Jordan in the early days of podcasting, I

5:33

drove to Pomona, California, which

5:36

is, I don't know, 27 hours east of

5:38

Los Angeles or

5:41

possibly one, somewhere in that range.

5:45

I went to a second

5:49

or third tier convention center. It was bifurcated. On

5:52

the left, the podcasting. convention

6:01

featuring Adam Curry, the inventor of

6:03

podcasting. On

6:06

the right, a port body

6:08

operators convention. I swear to God,

6:10

that's real. Wow. And

6:14

I tried to get in and they wouldn't let

6:16

me in. They were guarding the door. Like,

6:19

come on, I just got to see those Johns. What

6:23

if you were just like, I have to take a piss. Everybody

6:30

in there is just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

6:32

oh, oh. Yeah. Um,

6:35

something I've noticed at this con, other than

6:37

the delightful signage letting us know that the

6:39

Avengers are assembling for burgers and fries, of

6:41

course. Of course. Um, of course.

6:43

The same reason a horse is a horse.

6:45

Sure. That's to say, that's

6:47

why the Avengers are assembling for burgers

6:49

and fries. There's, there's a lot of

6:52

like, you know, those sarcastic nerd shirts. I feel

6:54

like these were big when we were growing up.

6:56

Like I was expecting a battle

6:58

of wits, but it

7:00

seems that you've showed up unarmed. Yeah. This

7:03

is a secret of monkey Island

7:05

type t-shirt. Is

7:08

that where those come from? I don't know. I'm

7:10

just saying, I feel like that was in secret

7:12

of monkey Island. Yeah. My

7:14

friend Jody had on his dad's amoeba,

7:16

Amiga, Amiga, not Amoeba. The way

7:18

you fought guys was by saying stuff

7:20

like that. Oh yeah. Using

7:23

it from a menu, which was not

7:25

the best mechanic. I never played the

7:27

monkey Island games, but I do think

7:29

there is probably an overlap between guy

7:31

who would wear shirt that says flogging,

7:33

the floggings will continue until morale improves.

7:35

Right. And guys who are into

7:38

monkey Island. So I think that tracks to me. For

7:40

younger listeners, there was a time when all

7:43

American discourse was

7:46

sort of just as now you have

7:48

the sort of right

7:50

wing media bubble and

7:52

then sort of mainstream media

7:54

and expertise in collision.

7:56

And that kind of defines the discourse

7:59

of the nation. a

10:01

stand-up comic as well as a writer

10:03

and director and an

10:05

old pal, Emily Myomels. Hi, Emily. How

10:07

are you? Good evening, gentlemen. Hi.

10:11

How are you? How's my mic? It

10:14

was kind of a smooth, but your

10:16

delivery was a little bit spooky. Was

10:18

that intentional? No. Maybe it was going

10:20

for just weird. Well,

10:23

I'm terrified. I am fucking terrified. I

10:25

am kissing in my pants over here.

10:28

I like to start with a little

10:30

fight or flight. How are we feeling?

10:33

Oh, no, I froze. Hello.

10:38

Help. I'm hungry. We were

10:41

talking about it. It's been a minute, Jordan.

10:43

You know what? Earlier today, I was trying

10:45

to figure out how many mod teams we

10:47

had been on together. Yeah.

10:50

Emily and I, we've been in

10:52

the trenches at the UCB theater

10:55

since we were wee comedy pups

10:58

on the sketch equivalent to

11:00

the Harold improv team, the

11:02

mod team. I

11:05

simply could not remember all of the names

11:08

of the teams. I was like, oh, wait,

11:10

I did eventually. But we were

11:12

on Hot Mass, right? Hot Mass. Yeah,

11:15

we were on Captain Geach

11:17

and the Shrimp Shack shooters. Mixed

11:21

nuts. Mixed nuts with the Z. Of

11:24

course. I was on

11:26

a wall of sound and then

11:28

there was Kirkland Signature, which was my least favorite.

11:30

I never liked that name. Didn't get a vote

11:32

for me. You didn't like

11:34

your teammates. That was

11:36

my least favorite. Those fucking assholes.

11:40

It was just the name. I didn't vote for it

11:42

because I was like, wait, we're going to name ourselves

11:44

like average product? No,

11:47

that's a super. First of all, Emily. Emily,

11:51

you stepped in it. You stepped in

11:54

it. Here we go. Here we're talking

11:56

to a pretty major Costco celebrity. And

12:00

if you're a Costco member, if you are, I

12:02

recommend you pick up the most recent issue

12:05

of their magazine and find

12:07

the article about me. Oh

12:10

my goodness. Have I really stepped in

12:12

it? Oh my goodness. So it's really

12:14

important for me to take this opportunity

12:17

to emphasize that Kirkland Signature are premium

12:19

products. Premium. Those are not

12:21

the kind of bottom of the barrel bullshit that

12:23

you'd probably find at Sam's Club. Right. Oh,

12:26

but. These are ultra premium. I

12:28

mean, if you tasted this, just one time

12:30

Emily, if you tasted this vanilla ice cream,

12:32

Okay. you'd have to get new

12:34

plants just like our friend Jordan. I mean,

12:37

this stuff is so creamy. Wait, what? You

12:40

peed your pants earlier. Oh, right. I thought you

12:42

said plants. I was like, he killed his plants.

12:44

He was going on a random page and murdered

12:46

it. I put ice cream in the plants and

12:49

they're dying. Yeah. And it was, it

12:51

was president's choice brand. No. Just

12:54

yet that you were implying, I kind of forgot about the

12:56

peed my pants thing. I thought you were implying that I

12:58

like, the ice cream was so good that

13:01

I like, like shot a load.

13:04

Yeah, sure. Either way. Fantastic

13:07

stuff is what you're saying, which is what

13:09

you were thinking when you lined up to

13:12

see my sketch team, right? Yeah.

13:15

I support shows. Of

13:17

course. Always have loved to go to

13:19

things. Yes, you do. Yes.

13:23

Emily, in your kind of recent life

13:25

as a director, are you doing like

13:27

film festivals? Are you going to the

13:29

festivals? Yes, yes. Lots and

13:31

lots. In fact, this next one, I almost

13:35

got caught by surprise because we

13:37

ended up in three in October

13:39

upcoming, this upcoming October. So this

13:41

upcoming month and they were

13:43

all kind of on top of each other, which is

13:45

so fun. I panic when things like

13:47

that happen where I go, where do I go?

13:50

Where do I look? Where should I be? How

13:52

do I promote this? But it actually, we're so

13:54

excited. I actually did one of those little

13:56

grid, Instagram grid

13:58

things where I split it up. And

14:00

I took the poster picture and I

14:02

split it over three frames. I did

14:04

it. I did it. I'm

14:06

very proud of myself. Thank you. So we

14:09

had three festivals to announce. So we're going to Edmonton

14:12

in Alberta, Canada. I heard of it. We're

14:14

going to Newport Beach and

14:17

then Screamfest in New

14:19

Orleans. And this is a

14:21

film starring Dave Tuni, who I believe you know,

14:23

and written by Ryan

14:25

Meharry. So it's sort of a, yeah,

14:27

it's an alumni joint. You know what I

14:29

mean? Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. Dave Tuni was

14:31

probably on one of those sketch teams that

14:34

we were on together. At least three. At

14:36

least three, three or four. Talented guy, Dave Tuni.

14:38

Funny dude. I'll tell you what,

14:40

you're going to love Edmonton. The

14:43

mall there is very large. Ooh, big,

14:46

big mall. I don't remember

14:48

any other things about Edmonton. How big?

14:50

Well, I figured out where I'm getting

14:52

my ears pierced. Yep.

14:54

The clairs, the clairs in

14:56

this Edmonton mall. It's

14:59

the Kirkland signature of clairs. Yeah.

15:02

I'll take it. Meet me at the Limited

15:04

too. When you are

15:06

a director at a film festival, what is

15:08

your, what do you, what do you do?

15:10

Do you do interviews? Do you do panels?

15:13

Do you just show up and do the

15:15

step and repeat? I

15:17

think all of the above, you know, yeah, you

15:19

answer the Q and A's hopefully, it

15:22

depends on the size of the festival and how important you

15:24

are to it. Because I do a lot of genre stuff.

15:26

So it's like, I've been at genre festivals

15:28

where we won the audience award and we were

15:30

like, we were, we were hitting, you know, and

15:33

I've been at other festivals where being genre means

15:35

that you're playing at like 11.55 at night. Maybe,

15:40

you know, high fiving a few people on

15:42

their way out of another screening. But,

15:45

you know, Q and A's, definitely panels if

15:47

you're asked to. I've done some fun ones.

15:49

And let's see. Yeah,

15:51

I think I did some in

15:54

Maryland at the Old Annapolis last

15:57

couple years ago. It's hard. It's,

15:59

it's funny with. festivals, you

16:02

know, I'm sure you Jordan having

16:04

performed comedy this much, you know, or you've

16:07

now written a book, but that slow return

16:09

on, you know, when you're

16:11

used to performing live, and then you

16:13

invest time and prepping and shooting and

16:15

posting something, and then you

16:17

got to sit there and wait to see, you

16:20

know, if people are going to laugh or be

16:22

scared or whatever it is. And so I definitely

16:24

it's like

16:26

a, it's an interesting experience is there's so

16:28

much built up to getting to just be

16:30

in a room with audience. So that's my

16:32

favorite part is like, I'm like, Oh, this

16:35

is me. Okay, all right. Now we got

16:37

we got the laughs, we know people who

16:39

freaked out like, this is really fun, you

16:41

get an actual visceral reaction. And that's the

16:43

part of it that I live for for

16:45

sure. The screenings. Yeah, you're

16:47

trying to freak people out, huh? I

16:50

have been because I think bottom

16:52

line is like, I want I like to

16:54

make, I want

16:57

to make comedies that are like have intense dramatic

16:59

stakes. So it's like I have this weird vision

17:01

or idea that I that I'm doing voice

17:03

wise, I guess. And genre

17:05

kind of is one easy way to

17:08

do that, because the stakes are dramatic.

17:10

And so I'm just definitely like trying

17:12

to find the

17:14

comedy in in, you know, when

17:17

I say intense dramatic stakes, I just like to

17:19

make stories about people are like fully serious about

17:21

their circumstances and like totally committed

17:23

to the reality. But still

17:25

funny, that makes sense. So the

17:27

acting, cinematography and all that is very like, you

17:30

know, film to film, but it's funny. And

17:33

genre has been a place

17:35

to do that. It's been fun. Some of

17:37

it's like more mystical than anything, not not

17:39

real bloody. I'm not really into that. But

17:42

mystical, mystical. We

17:45

I call this last one with Toni and Harry

17:48

a bloodless cannibalism comedy, because

17:51

no one ever actually gets

17:53

hurt on screen. Okay. But

17:55

we have fun. We have fun

17:57

breaking through the dimensions, you know. And

34:00

then on one side, a bunch of, you

34:03

know, like a kind of galaxy of stars and then

34:05

another couple of shooting stars pointed at those stars. And

34:07

you know what it is? It's

34:10

the 180 line for me as a cheat sheet. Hey,

34:14

I'm a little left-right for

34:16

a filmmaker. Thank you. I

34:19

mean, that's really great. That's really great that it's

34:21

like coming from a member of your family. So

34:23

it's like personal and like it's, you know, and

34:25

it's about your passion. So that's really personal too.

34:27

But like just if you want to go

34:29

in a different direction, can I suggest like a

34:32

progress bar? Right. You know,

34:34

a progress bar and it's like 80% full

34:36

or 90% full and

34:39

the text is fart loading. And

34:43

it's above my butt. It's like a,

34:45

oh yeah, I was thinking the forearm,

34:47

but that would be great above the

34:49

butt. I saw a t-shirt at the

34:51

Comic Con. I laughed and laughed. Emily,

34:54

can I pitch you an idea? It's

34:56

actually sort of based on your idea. So it's like,

34:58

this would be on your forearm and

35:01

it's two shooting

35:03

stars. And then

35:05

there's one group of other stars to

35:07

the left, some stars below them. And

35:11

then on the right, just a

35:13

bunch of nasty freaks. Hell yeah. We're

35:16

talking Watto. We're talking Dexter Jetster.

35:19

I'm talking a potato as a spaceship.

35:23

That's what I thought you were talking about when you

35:25

said freaks. I

35:29

was like, yeah, that's shoe, man, nasty.

35:32

Okay. She's

35:35

thanked. Let's do this. Let's

35:38

take a break and get straight which freaks

35:40

we're talking about. Great. Because I

35:42

think we're all on different pages vis-a-vis

35:44

little freaks. I mean, Jordan, if Houdini

35:47

taught us anything, it's the freaks coming

35:49

all shape, sizes, and colors. You're

35:51

right. And we are recording

35:53

at night. So it's the perfect time for the freaks

35:56

to come out. But let's take a quick

35:58

break and we'll be back in just a second. Apple

38:01

pie making. Cardigan fashion show. No apples

38:03

involved with that. That thing where you

38:05

let apples shrink and

38:07

then you put little face elements on them to

38:10

turn them into a little old man or old lady.

38:12

And of course shopping at the Apple store. Yeah.

38:16

And recording for Apple Records since George Harrison

38:18

gave you that record deal. Oh God, I

38:20

forgot about it. I'm so busy this fall.

38:22

When am I gonna eat? Jesse, how am

38:24

I gonna eat? Jordan, don't

38:27

worry. Factor meals are

38:29

waiting for you. They offer

38:31

35 wholesome meals every single

38:33

week. So there's always something

38:35

that you will love that

38:38

will also fit your lifestyle.

38:40

It's not just dinners. You

38:43

can get easy breakfasts. You can get

38:45

smoothies, even snacks. There are 60 plus

38:49

add-ons. And it's just

38:51

really nice stuff. Just really nice food

38:53

that's right there in your refrigerator waiting

38:55

for you. It's tasty, it's ready, nice

38:57

and quick. It's always delish. Real, real

38:59

proteins, real veggies. When you

39:02

need something quick, it

39:04

is a much, much better option than just

39:06

grabbing a bar and

39:09

slurping up some hose water. Yeah, I

39:11

mean, I'm not gonna tell you not to slurp

39:13

up hose water, but

39:15

certainly not in autumn, right? That's

39:17

more of a summery activity. It's

39:19

more of a summer activity, yeah.

39:21

So that's why this autumn you're

39:23

gonna wanna go to factormeals.com/JJGo50 and

39:26

use code JJGO50 to get 50% off

39:29

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39:39

off your first month plus 20% off the next. We

39:42

don't have anything up on the Jumbotron

39:44

this week, but if you wanna share

39:46

a message with our audience and you're

39:49

a Jordan Jesse Go listener, go to

39:51

maximumfun.org/Jumbotron. You wish somebody happy birthday or

39:53

happy anniversary or look, we'll plug your

39:55

podcast, we don't care. Yeah, whatever, it'll

39:57

become more popular than ours. It's probably

39:59

better. Sure.

40:01

And I mean, I think we've covered this territory

40:04

on the show, but this is a very good

40:06

podcast. Everyone knows integrations on that. Yeah, it's good.

40:08

We know. Same

40:11

words is what makes a podcast. We

40:13

do that every week. We say all

40:16

words, even fuck. Jordan, are you, you

40:18

got some comic stuff coming up? Oh

40:20

boy, I sure do, Jesse. If you're

40:22

in the LA area, I'm going to

40:24

be at the Heavy Manners Comics Fair

40:26

on October 12th. The

40:29

Heavy Manners Library is a lovely

40:31

spot for indie comics, zines,

40:33

all that good stuff. And they're having

40:35

a cool comics event with a ton

40:37

of cool creators signing books, selling books,

40:40

having a great time. It

40:42

is a free event, but you can reserve

40:44

a ticket. You can go to heavy manners

40:46

library dot com, heavy manners library dot com.

40:49

And you'll find the address, all the

40:51

necessary links, and I will be there on the 12th.

40:54

I love this. Judge Sean Hodgman going on

40:56

the road to the Northeast in November. So

40:58

come see me. Thanks to everybody

41:01

that said hi in the Midwest.

41:03

We're going to be in Burlington,

41:05

Vermont, Portland, Maine, Brookline, Massachusetts, though

41:08

that one's already sold out. And

41:10

in Western Massachusetts, you can find

41:12

all the information at maximumfun.org/events, along

41:14

with info on the West Coast

41:17

in January and February, which includes

41:19

Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, soon

41:21

to be announced, San Francisco and

41:24

Los Angeles featuring Jordan Jesse Go. You come out

41:26

and see Jordan Jesse Go and Judge John Hodgman

41:28

on the same show. All

41:31

that information at

41:34

maximumfun.org/ events.

41:36

And Jordan, I

41:38

also want to mention because I haven't mentioned it on Jordan

41:40

Jesse Go. We had a very

41:43

special episode of Bulls Eye with Jesse Thorn,

41:45

my NPR show with Andre 3000 from Outcast.

41:48

I hope that everyone will go and listen to it

41:50

because it was very special. And I got a real

41:52

good one. If you go on the YouTube for Bulls

41:54

Eye with Jesse Thorn and watch

41:57

this one that is this week, that

41:59

is with. with Barry Sonnenfeld,

42:02

the director of Men in Black and so on

42:04

and so forth, director of photography

42:06

of the first several Coen

42:09

brothers movies, among other things. You

42:11

can watch Barry Sonnenfeld as

42:13

he demonstrates his telephone ringtone.

42:17

His telephone ringtone. I mean, I called him on

42:19

the air. He gave me his phone

42:21

number so I could call him so we could

42:23

hear his phone ringtone, which is

42:25

Werner Herzog going, pick up the

42:27

phone, Barry. Barry.

42:30

Wow. Yeah. That

42:33

sounds like a cool vid.

42:36

Yeah. He just ran

42:38

into Werner Herzog, who I

42:40

was having lunch with Ken Burns. Cool.

42:43

And Bernie's and Werner Herzog are friends. Okay.

42:46

We'll be back in just a second on Jordan and Jesse Go.

42:52

It's Jordan, Jesse Go. I'm

43:02

Jesse Thorne, America's Radio Sweetheart. Jordan

43:04

Morris, boy detective. And I'm Emily

43:06

Mims, slow cooker. At

43:09

my house right now, Jordan, it's

43:11

the WNBA playoffs. I don't know

43:13

if you follow the WNBA, Emily,

43:15

but it's the WNBA. The

43:22

WNBA playoffs just started and Scarlett,

43:24

my middle kid, just basically

43:27

rebuilt our entire living room

43:29

into a WNBA playoffs

43:31

watching shrine. So

43:34

she has two stuffed

43:37

animals, two blankets

43:39

that constitute a fort. She

43:42

has her back of the

43:44

door basketball hoop, you know,

43:47

those things that go back to the door. That's

43:50

still making those? That's still a Nerf

43:52

product? No, that's made by, you know,

43:55

Zikzar Blub on

43:57

amazon.com. Oh, I love. Loves

44:00

XR Globe. She's

44:04

got, of course, Lifestyle Queen. Is

44:07

Nerf still in business? I mean, how could it be

44:09

at this point? I know, with products

44:11

that's soft. Right. Yeah. Is

44:14

that soft? Jesse, are your kids

44:16

Nerfin over there? Well,

44:19

I think that the

44:22

main thing going on amongst

44:25

children still is Nerf

44:28

dart guns. Okay. Yeah. I

44:30

would say that the wonder

44:33

is gone from water

44:35

guns. Mm-hmm.

44:39

So, because at some point you

44:41

started putting batteries into super soakers.

44:44

Mm-hmm. And it was, you know,

44:46

it was off the cliff.

44:48

You know, it was one step

44:50

too far and it ate its own tail

44:53

or whatever. It was like a flurry on a

44:55

McRib. Mm-hmm. Yes.

44:57

Ooh, that sounds good. I've

45:00

been eating. I've only eaten Old Bay.

45:04

Yeah. Dude, Old

45:06

Bay. Old Bay McFlurry sounds all right to

45:08

me. I have an Old Bay McFlurry. Yeah.

45:12

And I think the only thing

45:14

that's left is those little, like,

45:16

dart guns. Mm-hmm. I

45:18

also think that while

45:20

sour candy remains around,

45:23

there's a lot of eating of hot chips.

45:26

Hot, hot. Spicy chips

45:29

have largely supplanted sour candy.

45:33

Right. More heavy. How

45:35

can you legally rip your taste buds off? Mm-hmm.

45:37

Yeah. Exactly. It's beautiful.

45:39

Yep. Yeah. That's a great update. Thank

45:42

you. I feel informed as to what's going on. It's hard to find

45:44

now and later. I

45:48

mean, there are, I have a chapstick that does

45:50

taste like the banana now and later

45:52

that I, oh God, I love it so much. Every time I put

45:55

on that chapstick, I'm like, hmm. Sounds like a good

45:57

stick. Yeah, it's a good stick.

46:00

Really good. Did they get into the slime?

46:03

Your kids, the borax? This the

46:06

slime thing largely passed

46:08

them by, I think.

46:12

But one thing that there is a ton of in

46:14

my house is different

46:18

like sacks,

46:21

rubber sacks with

46:23

different glove,

46:25

gloves inside. Hmm. Yeah. I know these

46:28

sacks. I know the sacks you're talking

46:30

about. So, you know, whether

46:32

it's a squeeze ball one or it's

46:34

like a snaky one or whether it's

46:36

got little little

46:39

eyeballs in there or it's got, you

46:42

know, little peas in there or something like

46:44

that. And then all my children, all

46:47

my children get together. They keep them all in this

46:49

big bag, which is also part of Scarlett's

46:52

WNBA watching area is the big bag of

46:55

fidgets and ding dongs. They just

46:57

pull them out. They squeeze them and they

46:59

go. Yeah. Satisfying.

47:01

Yeah. Yes. Tactile.

47:04

No, not satisfying. Wait,

47:07

some of them aren't satisfying? Yes, some of

47:10

them are not satisfying. Insufficiently satisfying. I can't

47:12

believe they show up. You got a lot.

47:14

They're all satisfying to my dog who

47:17

puts a hole in all of them and

47:19

gets whatever's inside on everything else. But what

47:21

kind of dog? A

47:26

half golden retriever, a half golden retriever. Charming

47:29

goof. Yeah. Love

47:32

that goofball. We have a couple of

47:34

Queensland healer

47:36

part, you know, mixed cattle dogs kind of.

47:39

And man, they do have some ding go in

47:41

them. I

47:45

will say that. Are they chewing up your

47:47

fidgets? They were. They were pretty

47:49

wild. They were they were puppies within six months of

47:51

each other. And it was a nightmare.

47:53

We made mistakes. You know, why did we do it?

47:55

Why did we do that? We were grieving. We were.

47:57

It was a lot. A lot of mistakes were made.

48:00

We lost our senior dogs in

48:03

succession and also Christian's

48:05

father all in the same vicinity.

48:07

And it was just... One

48:11

came to accompany one of our senior dogs

48:13

who had lost the... It was literally dying

48:16

of a broken heart. Fun

48:18

stuff for a podcast, but it was

48:20

that companion thing. And so we were

48:22

like, we gotta get him a buddy. And

48:24

then it just kept coming. The

48:28

decisions in duress just

48:30

kept coming. Do they gather...

48:35

Do they do cattle dog things? Do

48:37

they nip at ankles or circle around and

48:39

try and draw people towards the drain in

48:41

the center? Yep,

48:43

yep. All that. In fact, my

48:45

uncle told me he had a cattle dog when he was a

48:47

kid and they were in Yosemite. They were out on

48:50

some camping trip and they had the family

48:52

dog and the family dog took off, heard

48:54

a noise and took off and had never

48:56

done that before. And they thought

48:58

they lost the dogs. But 30 minutes later they found

49:01

him and he had gathered up a

49:03

herd of elk or whatever. I can't remember what the

49:05

elk was, but he had just gone and got them.

49:07

He was like, got them. Here they are. Now

49:10

the elk. Now you have to raise

49:12

the elk. Yes.

49:16

It's weird that dogs have

49:19

inside of them the

49:22

programming of a thousand years of

49:26

human training. You know what I mean?

49:28

Two thousand years of human training. Just

49:31

that some dogs

49:33

will just do anything to get

49:36

at anything that's moving along the

49:38

ground while others will do

49:40

anything to get to do anything to

49:42

get at anything that's up in the

49:44

air. This

49:46

one has a ground brain and

49:48

this one has an air brain?

49:50

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Wait,

49:52

did you guys... I'm going to a recent episode and you

49:54

guys asked the question, do dogs

49:57

have ghosts? But I don't know if you got

49:59

to an answer. Well, that's a great question.

50:01

I don't think we did get to an answer on that

50:03

question. That is a great question. That sounds like a good

50:05

episode. It didn't sound like us necessarily. That

50:07

might have been Joe Rogan.

50:10

It was probably Rogan or NPR

50:13

Politics podcast. Yeah, probably. The Daily.

50:15

It was the Daily. It was

50:17

probably the Daily that was talking

50:20

about two talks of ghosts. I

50:22

think not because I think they're

50:24

closer to ghosts. That's my guess.

50:26

They're closer to ghosts. They're more

50:28

friendly with ghosts or they're more

50:31

like ghosts. They're more ghost-like. They're

50:35

more interdimensionally

50:40

present in this consciousness

50:42

that isn't quite... They're

50:44

closer to ghosts than they are human in

50:46

terms of their consciousness. That

50:49

make sense? Is that why they're always knocking

50:51

things off counters? Yes. Flicking

50:54

light switches. Oh, the

50:56

light. Oh, wait. It's just the dog. Just

50:58

the dog. There's always a cold

51:01

spot when a dog is near. I'm

51:07

always going around with

51:10

all my radio electronic equipment

51:12

pointing microphones and stuff around.

51:14

It's how I find dogs.

51:16

Hidden dogs. Well,

51:19

hey, it's a momentous occasion when you use

51:21

your spectrographic equipment to find

51:23

a dog. It's also a momentous occasion when

51:25

you call us at 206-9844-Fun. Dog

51:30

hunters? Yes. I

51:32

think the title might upset people. It's

51:37

like ghost hunters, so it's dog hunters.

51:39

Right. I think people love dogs. We'll

51:43

think something else. What

51:46

about dog ghost hunters?

51:49

What about dog ghost hunters, Jordan? What

51:51

about that? They're not ghost hunters. Yeah.

51:54

I think people would... I mean, I

51:56

think you need to clarify what's going

51:59

on there. Whether you're hunting

52:01

for dogs ghosts or the dog ghosts

52:03

doing the hunting. No, I think dogs

52:05

are looking for ghosts for ghost hunters

52:08

Yeah, you let them sniff one a little

52:11

and then it can sniff it anywhere You

52:14

let it sniff a little of the sheet Yeah,

52:16

sure You're

52:20

talking about the sheet with the eye holes

52:22

yeah the ghost body the body of the

52:24

ghost I

52:31

feel like my dog Friday does have like there

52:33

were a few moments when he was a puppy

52:35

he would like when the Sun went down would

52:37

kind of get a look in his eyes and

52:39

like dig to try

52:41

to dig to Middle Earth like and He

52:44

would get spooked in a way at like a nothing in

52:47

the middle of the room Or

52:49

there's like he the way that

52:51

he gets spooked as is as if

52:53

he saw a witch You know I

52:55

mean it's like as if he understands

52:58

the terror of Scary things

53:00

in the night, so I don't

53:03

know we could bring him on or we could test him

53:05

Maybe screen test him. I'd love to test

53:07

him. I'd like to see his Chemistry

53:09

with Jordan Jordan's gonna be would be a

53:11

mall cause the show yeah And

53:14

then you know and I'd love to do the screen test

53:16

now But I set up the momentous occasion like 45 minutes

53:18

ago, and we still haven't played it people are freaking out.

53:20

I'm sorry Yeah, what's the rules

53:22

in their minds? Let's play that hi Jordan

53:25

Jesse go It's Deborah

53:27

first of all I love you guys

53:30

Second of all I'm calling

53:32

with a momentous occasion. I'm

53:34

helping my mother pack

53:37

and move she's moving to the East

53:39

Coast and I

53:43

was going through her stuff to help

53:45

wrap it and I found a dowsing

53:47

rod and and Asked

53:50

her hey mom is this a

53:52

dowsing rod, and she said why yes it is and

53:55

then she proceeded to tell me a story

53:58

of being

54:00

psychic and how

54:03

she knew that she needed to

54:05

have a baby before she got

54:08

pregnant with me. They

54:11

were living abroad and it wasn't

54:13

the right time. So my dad

54:15

went on a sex

54:18

strike and refused to have

54:20

sex with her because he

54:23

knew that she wanted to have a baby. And

54:25

then she very casually said, so we just

54:27

did oral stuff for a long time. And

54:30

then one day she

54:32

said that she seduced him and right

54:34

after they were done, he's like, oh,

54:36

you're going to get pregnant. And

54:39

then she did. And that's

54:41

how I came to be. Bye. I

54:44

mean, I don't

54:46

know. I don't know if she

54:49

found a water well, but she certainly

54:51

found a well of biographical information. Sure.

54:55

Should we, I mean, Emily, we were

54:57

talking on a recent episode about the

54:59

like, you know, late in life parental

55:03

bomb drop. You know, you just

55:05

get that, you know, you're

55:07

an adult, you're hanging out with your elderly

55:09

parent and then they drop a bomb. Much

55:12

like this, I'm, you know,

55:14

kind of envious

55:17

of this relationship where they can just

55:19

talk about oral together. Right.

55:22

And a long state

55:25

of foreplay that really,

55:28

really roasted the rocket

55:31

ship and got it

55:33

ready for launch to launch

55:35

into being. Is this a

55:37

new, is this a new segment? Is this

55:39

a new segment? We want to hear your

55:41

parental, your late in life parental bomb drops.

55:43

Yeah. And we also want to hear about

55:46

your, your parents' powers. What

55:48

kind of powers do they have? Psychic.

55:51

Can they detect water with a

55:53

fork stick? Teleporting

55:56

dad.