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areas. Xfinity Mobile requires Xfinity Internet. Welcome

0:32

to this week's Listener's Questions. I am

0:35

joined by the brilliant Rochelle Humes and

0:37

we are answering all of your probing

0:39

questions. Okay, there's lots, varying degrees of

0:42

parenting, all sorts. So,

0:44

okay, Joanna, I just found out I'm pregnant with

0:46

twins. Do you have any newborn tips? Oh

0:49

my gosh. Twins. I mean- I

0:51

don't have any twin tips. God. But

0:55

I just think, actually, everyone

0:57

will chuck so much advice at

0:59

you. Like, if that's your first

1:01

pregnancy, and you have twin

1:03

tips, I definitely don't have. And I think you're

1:05

going to need to tap into it. Yeah, you're

1:07

going to need help. You're going to need help.

1:10

Yeah, it takes a village. But I also- I

1:12

remember when I was pregnant with a layer, I

1:14

was young, so I was 23 when I

1:16

had lay. And I

1:19

obviously didn't have the first clue what I

1:21

was doing. But I just took

1:23

everyone's advice so literally. I could have met

1:25

you today and you just said, you need

1:27

this. And I'd have been straight on Amazon

1:29

ordering it. And I just really felt like-

1:31

Just took everything. I just took every bit

1:33

of advice that I really overwhelmed myself. But

1:35

actually, you just got to

1:37

learn your own baby or babies in

1:39

your case. Because

1:42

they're all so different. And you're- and she'll

1:44

probably quickly learn that with having

1:46

two at the same time. So different. You all

1:48

know how to settle your baby. And there's just

1:51

that instinct that you can't- nobody

1:53

else can advise you in that way. I would say

1:56

have a routine. Yeah, routine. Have a routine. And just

1:58

limit outside noise. rubbing

10:00

my stomach. No. And

10:02

I was just like, oh, like that personal.

10:05

Boundaries, Doris boundaries. Barrier, I was like, oh my

10:07

God. Then afterwards I felt like, you know, I

10:09

wanted to tell her everything and I was like,

10:12

wanted to find her in the airport again. But

10:14

at the time I just said nothing because it

10:16

was sort of happening in Snowball. And I was

10:18

like, oh yeah, she's, she's. She's actually touching me,

10:20

right? Okay, she's lifting my top. Okay, fantastic. But

10:23

yeah, I really, I get, I mean, violence may

10:25

be a little far, but yeah. No,

10:28

don't. She's on the side of violence. If

10:31

you mean like knocking a hand away, absolutely. Yeah. And I'd get

10:33

away with it. I'm a nan, so I'd get away with it.

10:35

Yeah, and do you know what's worse is, well, when someone wears

10:37

that really strong, really strong perfume. And

10:39

you smell it on your baby for days. Yeah. That's

10:41

my, that's my worst. That's the lesson to people who,

10:43

if you're going to visit someone that, you know, a

10:46

friend or a loved one who has had a baby,

10:48

do not wear perfume. Yeah. Do not

10:50

wear perfume. We are animals. When I

10:52

pick up that newborn, if it does not

10:54

smell like my newborn, because you're literally like.

10:56

Yeah. Well, you could bottle that,

10:58

couldn't you? You just, that smell is just the best

11:00

ever. But when it's masked by someone's oud. And

11:03

also don't worry about smelling nice for me.

11:05

I'm breastfeeding. I don't care. I can smell

11:07

nothing. I don't care. I stink. I'm

11:10

sweating. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

11:13

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

11:17

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

11:20

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

11:23

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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12:32

conditions. Hi,

13:01

Imogen, apparently. Do

13:03

you know what? That's a hard one because it's early

13:05

days. There's going to be those teething issues.

13:08

Have you communicated it? Have

13:10

you said, listen, you've got to start. You could

13:12

do that thing that my husband does to me. Say your rehearsal, start at a

13:14

different time. Be smart. Are

13:18

you the one who's late and he's on his own time?

13:20

Yeah, but do you know what he's like? He is like,

13:22

what does he say? On early as... Five

13:27

minutes early is on time. On time is late.

13:30

Five minutes late is unacceptable. We're

13:32

literally going for a bit of food, drop me out. On

13:34

a holiday he'll be like, are you ready? I

13:36

have to be ready all year long. If I'm 15 minutes

13:38

late at the table, it's not going to hurt us. It's

13:44

fine. Maybe

13:46

start, I would say it.

13:50

It depends how much you value them as a member of the group. Some

13:52

people, that is just their trait. We could all

13:54

be better at it. Don't

13:56

get me wrong, if she wants to show up, she could start

13:58

getting the best out of her life. there on time.

14:01

But yeah, I would say it. And then if you, like,

14:05

issue the lead singer, are you gonna miss her is

14:07

what I'm saying here? Is she crucial?

14:09

Is she Madonna? Yeah, I would tell her. And then

14:11

if not, I would just start, you

14:13

know, factoring in some buffer room. So

14:16

if you say, right, it's eight today, and then

14:18

you're like- That's tolerating it though. You're very polite.

14:20

Yeah, but it just depends how far you are

14:22

into this. And who they are in the band.

14:24

Because you know when some people are like, I'm

14:26

just late, that's me as a person. No, late

14:28

isn't in your DNA. That's something you can change

14:30

about yourself. You just have to want to. I

14:32

think it's that kind of when

14:34

you're late, when you're repeating, when you are repeating

14:36

behavior and you are repeatedly late, you are telling

14:38

everyone that's waiting for you that your time is

14:41

more important than theirs. Yes, and that's the disrespect.

14:43

And it isn't. That's what I've had to drill

14:45

into a couple of my kids because they don't do

14:47

it on purpose. No, no, no. But they're just, you

14:50

know, in their own time zone. Yeah, but you don't

14:52

have, you know, late

14:54

in your DNA. And that's why, and I say that

14:56

to my kids. We don't give those excuses. We can't

14:58

have that as an excuse. I'm just late. I mean,

15:00

I'm just untidy. No, you're being untidy. Sort yourself out.

15:03

Nice. So yeah. What are

15:05

your top tips for being successful in the

15:07

music industry? I've forgotten that. I haven't

15:09

left the music industry in a long time. I'm not

15:11

probably the right. I think they just want to tap

15:14

into some Saturday here, clearly. I'm not well equipped, to

15:16

be honest. It's

15:18

so different to when I, as

15:20

I said, I've not been in the music industry for

15:22

10 years. Wow. What worked for you

15:24

guys? What was the magic ticket, do you think? I

15:26

think we were really resilient and we didn't. We

15:30

launched a time where everybody was launching off

15:32

the back of an X Factor or a reality show.

15:35

So they had that instant overnight

15:37

boom. And that's really hard to get.

15:39

So we were like doing every

15:42

unigig. We were getting dressed in

15:44

toilets. We were like, you

15:46

know, doing the most and like working the scene.

15:50

So we really, so we actually really appreciated every

15:52

little achievement. I think when you like boom off

15:54

of one of those shows, and I always, I

15:57

asked Marvin this quite a lot, because he obviously...

16:00

you know, X Factor overnight vibes. And

16:02

obviously they were together first, but that real sort of

16:05

like peak was when

16:07

they were on those shows. And actually like, it's

16:10

a blessing because you've got instant exposure, but

16:12

also you've got to learn on the job.

16:14

And if you're not instantly cut

16:16

out for that, you'll know pretty much

16:18

straight away. But for us, we really

16:20

appreciate every little milestone. We're like, oh

16:22

my gosh, they're now playing our song

16:24

on the radio. Or, oh my gosh,

16:27

we've been invited to perform the big

16:29

weekend of that radio station. Like, we

16:31

really were, like we couldn't believe every

16:33

little moment we had because we did

16:35

all this kind of shit before. Whereas

16:37

I think- You had time to enjoy it

16:40

for what it was. Yeah, and we were really grateful.

16:42

And then when we got that number one, we didn't

16:44

have a number one a week after launching because we

16:46

were on a big show. We kind of

16:48

really worked for it. You had to graft for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

16:50

So I think, I don't, they

16:52

used to put everything on my space then.

16:54

Oh my gosh. Wow. Oh,

16:56

the granny over here. But I just think there's

16:59

so, and I think that's what's good about now

17:01

and the way that I would see it is

17:03

there are so many avenues with YouTube and TikTok

17:05

and Instagram. So much more than there was then.

17:07

Just put it out there, be a grafter. Put

17:09

it out there and just grafter. There's always somebody,

17:11

Nick Grimshaw said to me once, there's always, I

17:13

think he'd done an interview with Katy Perry and

17:15

it's always stuck in my mind. Because he was

17:18

like, I cannot believe her schedule. She arrived and

17:20

she got off the plane and she was going

17:22

here afterwards. And he told me this story

17:24

and apparently she said to him, he

17:26

met her and she said, oh my goodness, are

17:29

you tired? And she went, no, no, no, we

17:31

never say we're tired. Cause there's always enough of

17:33

a girl waiting in the wings ready to whip

17:35

my wig off. And I was like, it's so

17:37

true. I mean, that's true in business. And if

17:39

someone at that status gets it, like there's always

17:42

someone that will work harder than

17:44

you and show up. So I think you just

17:46

gotta be a little grafter. Which is also a

17:48

message to the previous imaging about the person who's

17:50

turning up. Show up. She needs to show up.

17:52

Show up. My husband and I are

17:54

constantly clashing over household responsibilities. I'm currently on maternity

17:57

leave and looking after our eight month old. He

17:59

is working for. I'm struggling to keep on

18:01

top of the housework and he comes home expecting

18:03

everything to be spotless. I think

18:05

he should pull his finger out and help out a bit

18:07

with the housework, but do I have a leg to stand

18:10

on as he has been at work all day and I'm

18:12

at home with the baby, Olivia? I think you're phrasing it

18:14

wrong, Olivia. He's been at work all

18:16

day and I'm at home with the baby. Well, should

18:18

we just stop there? You're doing yourself a disservice by

18:20

even saying like that. I take

18:23

my hat off to anybody that stays home

18:25

all day with children because yes, I do

18:28

that some days. Some days

18:30

I'm at home with the kids all days and then the

18:32

next week I'll be working quite a lot. But

18:36

that's my toughest gig. And

18:39

going to work, which is why it was like, didn't

18:42

take a long maternity, is my escapism and that's

18:45

where I feel like me. So

18:47

I think I

18:49

don't know if he needs to stay at home all day

18:52

and you just practice this and

18:54

just see if the house is spotless when

18:56

you get home. I would have stopped

18:58

it and he comes home expecting everything to be spotless.

19:00

Yeah, this is all too much for me. You need

19:02

to sit down, babe. Just know. Yeah, and I think

19:06

that feels really archaic. And

19:08

I get it because I know loads of households are

19:10

set up in that way, but

19:12

I just think you're putting

19:14

too much pressure on yourself and almost she's sort

19:16

of playing into the narrative that he's created.

19:19

And he has a point. Yeah, and he doesn't have a

19:21

point. And of course he's been at work all day. We

19:23

get that. We appreciate that. But

19:25

at the same time, this is a real job. I

19:28

mean, couldn't say the best. And you're doing this in

19:30

the dog. Yeah, literally. Come home, maybe put, oh, if

19:32

you wanna come home and take the baby off me,

19:34

that's fine. and start

19:37

cooking. Yeah. I might just need to lie down.

19:39

I would have really struggled with that. Oh,

19:41

God. Yeah. I

19:44

have to do a presentation at a big

19:46

conference for work next month and I'm petrified.

19:48

Any tips for being confident presenting to a

19:50

room of people? Vanessa. Ooh, I

19:53

think knowing that everybody feels that.

19:56

Anybody that has to, and I'd like talk for

19:58

a living, but any. I've got

20:00

to pitch something in front of it. Like,

20:02

everybody will have that. And everybody in that

20:05

room will have been in that position before.

20:08

And be at ease

20:10

with that. Don't think like, don't have him

20:12

post something wrong with me. And yeah, don't

20:14

get into that head space. Like,

20:16

you're there to do a job. It's no

20:18

different. It's just on a little bit of

20:20

a bigger stage. And yeah,

20:22

I think, I mean, make sure you

20:25

really know inside out what you're talking about. That you wouldn't

20:27

need anything in front of you. That's the only thing. I

20:29

always say, fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

20:32

I'm like, little mis-properation. This is like a

20:34

listener's questions of bumper stickers. Yeah, it is,

20:36

isn't it? So I

20:38

think really know it. Know what you're talking about.

20:40

Believe it. And then if you have a little

20:42

mind blank, there'll be something that you

20:44

know to come back to because it's so locked

20:47

in there. There'll be a trigger or something. Because

20:49

you've obviously spoken. You've sung in front of what's

20:51

the record audience you've sung in front of back

20:53

in the J. Oh, gosh. Like, I

20:57

don't know. I'll probably get this wrong. But maybe like a

21:00

gig, maybe like 30,000, 40,000 people, maybe.

21:03

So you've done that. Yeah. And then you

21:05

do TV, which is talking to a camera.

21:07

Yeah. I think it's actually in

21:09

the middle where it's harder for people because

21:12

you're much closer to people. If you're doing

21:14

a room of 20 people, a

21:16

room of 150 people plus is like, oh,

21:18

that's a lot of eyes. When it's a big crowd,

21:20

I can imagine it's exactly. You can't see one. Because you

21:22

can see lights. I mean, you can when they put the

21:25

lights up. But you're kind of, it's more of an

21:27

atmosphere than like faces looking at you. I

21:29

did a business chat. I

21:31

was a speaker a few weeks ago. And

21:34

I was so nervous. And

21:36

obviously, it's something that is newer

21:38

to me. So that's probably why. But

21:40

I was actually had those real butterflies

21:42

because it was probably about 80 people.

21:46

And I could feel the eyes and see

21:48

the facial expressions. And that is where it

21:50

is a little bit more daunting, isn't it?

21:52

Yeah, I think that middle ground group is

21:55

certainly more daunting. But everyone gets nervous. Everyone

21:57

gets nervous for nervous. Just know your shit.

21:59

Yeah, know it. No, inside out

22:01

and you'll be good. I'm a mum of

22:03

two, two months old and three years old. I'm trying

22:05

to care for them both, but feel like I'm neglecting

22:07

one or the other and it's tearing me apart. Why

22:09

are we so hard on ourselves? How can

22:11

I ensure both my children feel loved and attended to? They

22:14

will. and two months and three years

22:16

old. They will. You're so right. They're not

22:18

gonna remember. They're not gonna remember. And also you're doing

22:20

the best you can. I'm not saying leave them outside

22:22

the shop. And there's always one child that has to

22:24

run errands for the other child when you have more

22:26

than one. Don't you think that? Dropping

22:29

one to ballet while the other one's in the back

22:31

of the car because they're not quite old enough to go to ballet

22:33

yet and you feel bad because they've been basically in

22:35

the back of the car for a few hours of the day. But

22:39

we're all in the same position. I'm

22:42

lucky that my mum is close by and she

22:44

will kind of help me. So

22:47

I'll try and do like a focused day on

22:49

one child if the other one has a friend,

22:51

a play date, or I will try

22:53

to make a bit of a conscious effort. So

22:56

I would say like depend on people

22:59

that you can and if you want to do that one on one day, I

23:02

would say that. But ultimately you're right. Like don't be

23:04

hard on yourself. You don't really- And if the two

23:06

month old is two months old, just focus on the

23:08

three year old and just keep the two month old

23:10

in your arm. Yeah. That's really where they

23:12

want to be. They want to be fed- Just keep the

23:14

two months old here. And they want to sleep. And keep

23:16

the three year old busy. And the two month old is

23:19

gonna be napping a lot throughout the day. And sleep a

23:21

lot, eight weeks. They're just gonna sleep. When the sleep's happening

23:23

then do some coloring with the three

23:25

year old or however that will look. But yeah,

23:28

the hard time mums give themselves. It's just-

23:30

No, don't do it. We'll do it,

23:32

but it's mad, isn't it? No guilt, don't do

23:34

guilt. Yeah. Pointless. Yeah, you're right. It's

23:36

not getting us anywhere, is it? Thank you. I've

23:38

loved this. I love the world's best. Love it.

23:40

Love a nice little listener's questions when it's all

23:43

things well. Clearly not being in a famous band.

23:45

That's like, you know, when I

23:47

win the Grammy for Best New Artist, I'd

23:49

like to thank Rochelle for her advice. You know,

23:51

it wouldn't surprise me. You've got it all covered, mate.

23:53

That's all you're missing is the Grammy at this point.

23:57

Thank you. Thank you. guys,

24:00

they're always entertaining. Thanks

24:04

for listening. I'm back on Monday with a new guest.

24:06

So make sure you tune in. Until then, I'm

24:08

glad we had this chat. New

24:10

episodes are available every Monday and Wednesday.

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Follow us. Subscribe now on Apple, Spotify,

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