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Welcome to Feel Better, Live

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More Bite Size, your weekly

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More. Today's clip is

1:02

from episode 327 of

1:04

the podcast with none other

1:06

than the legendary record producer

1:09

Mr. Rick Rubin. Now

1:11

Rick has worked with a huge

1:13

variety of different artists and is

1:15

named on Time magazine's list of

1:18

the 100 most influential people in the

1:20

world. But I think

1:22

that one of the reasons he's reached

1:24

an almost mythical status across the world

1:27

is because of his zen-like manner

1:29

and his artistic approach to life. In

1:33

this clip, Rick shares why it's

1:35

easy to get stuck in

1:37

our own small story of who we are

1:39

and what our lives are. But

1:41

he believes that we all have the power

1:43

to change the stories we tell ourselves, which

1:46

is ultimately essential for our happiness.

1:52

We are in control of our own lives.

1:54

We often don't realize we're in control, but

1:56

we're in control of our own lives and we

1:58

can... make

2:01

different choices. And if the things

2:03

in our life are not bringing

2:05

us joy and happiness, if

2:07

our career that we've devoted all of our

2:10

lives to isn't bringing us

2:12

joy, and we can

2:14

change them. If we decide our

2:16

relationship is not the right relationship, we

2:18

don't have to suffer in that relationship.

2:22

We have our own power

2:25

and we can make a change and

2:27

it takes courage, but

2:29

it's in everyone's best interest for

2:32

us to take care of ourselves, to

2:34

be in a relationship or in a job where

2:36

you're phoning it in because you

2:39

think it's your responsibility to do the

2:41

job. There's probably someone

2:43

who would do that job with passion and

2:46

bring more to it than you are. In

2:48

your relationship, if you've fallen out of love

2:51

and you're going through the motions,

2:55

you're not doing anyone any favors. It's

2:58

not real. And

3:01

if you feel depressed and you

3:03

can't manage the life you're in, you can go move to

3:05

another part of the world. You could live on a beach.

3:09

There's so many options available to us

3:11

that we don't, we're stuck in our

3:13

small story of who we are and

3:15

what our lives are. And

3:19

it's all a choice and we have

3:21

the power to change it. Anything, anything

3:23

in our lives that doesn't

3:26

give us joy, we can

3:28

change and we can find the version that

3:30

suits us. And it's

3:32

not only in service to us, it's ultimately

3:35

what's best for everyone. You know, when you're

3:37

on an airplane and they say, if the

3:39

plane's gonna go down, these masks

3:42

are gonna fall down. Put your mask on first

3:44

before you put on your child's or anyone else's,

3:46

which is counterintuitive. We always think we take care

3:48

of our children first. But

3:51

if you're not taking care of yourself, you can't

3:53

take care of anyone else. So

3:55

I would say primarily take

3:58

care of yourself first. to

4:00

save the world, save yourself,

4:03

and then save your immediate family,

4:05

and then save your immediate

4:08

neighborhood, and then save

4:11

your town. Start with

4:13

small circles and build out. Do

4:15

you know meta-meditation? The meta-meditation

4:17

is, may I be filled with

4:20

loving kindness? May I be well?

4:22

May I be peaceful in it? Is may I be happy?

4:25

We repeat these four phrases over and over again.

4:27

And for the first year or so of doing

4:29

it, it's may I. And

4:31

then after a year of

4:33

may I, we've built up a strong enough

4:36

charge to say may we, and the we

4:38

might be your immediate family first. And

4:40

you do that for another year and build

4:42

up the power in that unit. And

4:45

then you can extend it, and by the fifth

4:47

year, you can do it for the planet. But

4:50

you can't do it for the planet first, because

4:53

there's no built up charge. So

4:56

do what's necessary to take care

4:58

of yourself, build

5:00

yourself up, have the strongest charge

5:02

possible that you

5:04

could then share and make the world

5:08

a better place. We can live in

5:10

a way where we're living in an artful way, where

5:13

we're engaged

5:15

and paying attention and making

5:21

each choice count, or we

5:23

can live in a almost

5:27

like sleepwalking through the day, which many

5:29

of us do. Many of

5:31

us do just go

5:33

along. Just

5:35

repeat yesterday again. And I

5:42

remember when I was

5:44

sitting Terry most of my life and I weighed

5:47

100 pounds more than I do now. And

5:50

when I first met this

5:52

group of athletes who invited me to train with them, which was

5:54

radical, I'd lost a bunch of weight and they invited me to

5:56

train with them. I

6:00

remember they showed me an exercise and I said, I can't do

6:03

that. And they say, no, never say

6:05

you can't do it. Say, I haven't done it yet. I

6:08

haven't done it yet. And that's true with

6:10

everything. It's like, there's nothing that you can't do.

6:12

You may not have done it yet. We

6:15

don't know if you can do it or not until you really

6:18

practice. And then you find

6:21

out if you can do it or not, or how well you can

6:23

do it. Yeah. The

6:26

way we talk to ourselves, which you've just hinted at there,

6:30

there was a bit in the book where you were talking about

6:33

feeling insecure, maybe

6:36

doubting yourself versus doubting

6:38

the work. Yeah, which

6:40

I thought was a beautiful distinction.

6:42

And then you wrote this gorgeous

6:44

bit, which is basically insecurity is

6:48

only a hindrance when

6:51

it stops you sharing what's in your

6:53

heart. Wow, that's beautiful. Yeah,

6:55

it is beautiful and. Beautiful.

7:00

If life is art, and

7:03

creativity is an expression or

7:06

something we have to tap into to express

7:08

our arts, then maybe the

7:10

way we are with our children, the way we are

7:12

with our partners, that's

7:14

creativity as well. Absolutely.

7:17

Yeah. Absolutely. All

7:19

of it. And how we are with ourselves. Again, it's

7:21

all of those things. Anything

7:25

we do to, if

7:28

we're dealing with some issue, and

7:36

if we decide to take a pill for that

7:38

issue, or decide to make

7:41

a creative change in our life that

7:44

allows the issue to resolve itself, that's

7:46

a creative choice. And

7:52

it seems like in terms of the

7:54

sustainability of being able to

7:56

do these things for a long time, maybe

7:59

the. taking the pill version isn't the best way

8:02

to solve our issues. As

8:05

a physician, how often do you recommend a

8:08

lifestyle change versus a pharmaceutical?

8:12

I mean, pretty much 99% of the

8:15

time, if not 100% these days, the majority of what we're struggling

8:21

with today is

8:24

a result of our collective modern lifestyles. And

8:26

I say that very carefully.

8:28

I'm not blaming people. It's

8:31

our collective modern lifestyles. If

8:36

art is an authentic expression of

8:38

who we are, and

8:40

we're going to do that irrespective of

8:43

the outcome, irrespective of what people are

8:45

going to think, if

8:48

it's truly about authenticity, but

8:52

I can categorically say

8:54

with certainty that people

8:57

living inauthentic lives results

9:00

in so many of the problems that I

9:03

see. Simple one, like if

9:05

you are not living in

9:07

alignment with your values,

9:11

with that disconnect in who you

9:13

are, with that fracture

9:15

that's opened up in the core of who you

9:17

are, you will put things

9:20

in that void. Sugar, alcohol,

9:22

whatever it might be, it's often

9:24

trying to fill the void of inauthenticity.

9:27

Absolutely. I'll tell you a story. I

9:30

used to live with musical artist hours,

9:32

so I would sleep until typically

9:35

noon, although it could be as late as

9:37

three, and then I would not leave the

9:39

house until the sun set. And

9:41

then I would work in the studio all night long

9:43

and usually drive home as the sun was rising. And

9:46

I would go to my normal schedule for years

9:48

and years and years, which just

9:50

felt, it felt natural to me, and

9:53

it was, it seemed

9:55

the way other people who were interested in the

9:57

things that I were interested did the same.