0:00

Hundred. Percent. Like

0:05

the loose vibe. This. Website: Nice

0:07

and lose baby. This. Is

0:09

you've been to your mom's house right? Yes

0:11

I have an this is Tom's. For.

0:13

Team's first time being here. wound

0:16

loves thousand and i ago. This.

0:19

Are. Different offices kind of says a lot about

0:21

who we are. Yeah, Tom's is like an

0:23

abortion clinic. And

0:26

minds were you make the baby. Is

0:30

a warmer feel. It is that Italy. I

0:32

mean this just the how good their own

0:34

yes, animals like baked goods, filthy earth and

0:37

Father is a pantry. the regular use was

0:39

snacking twenty minutes, had a nice Nw Zero

0:41

Sugar Revere does it would I Would you

0:44

put me onto bird though? The generally the

0:46

best thing you've ever done for me. I've

0:48

done some. Nice stuff. This is the both

0:50

Enjoy! Those are my as. Crushes.

0:53

Fully. Loaded with. Is

0:56

the amount of joy I've gotten from vote

0:58

on sugar aid Bobby Rubio and I think

1:01

it's the best. Zero sugar without my phone?

1:03

Without question without driving Coke Zero sucks A

1:05

Coke Zero is make do with most died

1:08

so it is just like. When.

1:10

I want a soda? I don't know

1:12

every take it's a big swings.yeah uppers

1:14

got yeah there's zero sugar Cream soda

1:16

yeah cherry soda and it's it's pretty

1:19

good. Diet Dr. Pepper sometimes you will

1:21

gather his pretty good that Abdullah Lad

1:23

dogs on peppers a good like. Good.

1:26

Afternoon on the lake. Soda with

1:28

ice? There's no other question I

1:31

take more insulting them when somebody

1:33

goes, how about a Diet Pepsi?

1:36

right? How are you fucking stand in trap?

1:38

Yeah, hold on Spit my I that it.

1:40

So he. He just got to change

1:42

the way you take in the diet Pepsi.

1:44

yeah change your perspective. I would say why

1:46

don't I was. I was also very skeptical

1:48

about same way I'm glad you're a fair

1:50

is get your voice in My inner thought

1:53

he had a whole a whole i'm here

1:55

to see for diet of look okay right

1:57

across the board. Pepsi products are and every

1:59

Rubio oh. Pull up the Pepsi products and

2:01

they'll be written in this notice. No, it's

2:03

Mountain Dew is a Pepsi product All right,

2:05

a Mountain Dew is fucking kills it mountain.

2:08

I mean, are you over? Hungover

2:10

on vacation before a coffee you kill a Mountain

2:12

Dew then the coffee even hits hard You're being

2:14

this is the most Florida trash you've ever seen.

2:17

This is a very trashy This is fun amount.

2:19

There was a morning beverage. That's what you're trying

2:21

to say Pepsi products I

2:24

thought you were gonna say are for black people because They

2:28

you know that that's a thing that like that's

2:31

true in the Pepsi coke Competition

2:34

like black people they find

2:36

large Prefer pets. Oh, see look

2:38

at this. You're fucking you're wrong. It's mug and

2:40

mug sucks my dick. Okay, A&W is the good

2:42

rupee Dr. You're taking some hits here brother. I'm

2:44

taking some good. Dr. Pepper's good mountain. He's good

2:46

You tell me Mountain Dew's not on the list.

2:49

I'm gonna get there. It's there. Yes, you can

2:51

tell by but what are you a fucking game?

2:53

Are you like a twitch streamer?

2:55

No, you're a 14 year old half Asian

2:57

kid with a raccoon butt plug in his

2:59

ass Will you please Google Minecraft? Will you

3:02

please Google do black people like I've

3:06

never I went to I went to Baltimore

3:08

City Public Schools and I had never clocked this so

3:10

I've never I didn't know about

3:12

This yeah, black people only sell coke.

3:14

They love Pepsi I'll

3:18

give you one. I'll give you a courtesy chuckle I

3:34

Love they've been ad for diversity in

3:36

here Keep going the man's diversity every

3:39

time I've hung out with black dudes

3:41

and soda comes up Pepsi Pepsi always

3:43

Hold on. Let's call the blackest man

3:45

in America. Who's that Donnell Rollins? Oh

3:48

Yeah, that's no Rollins he could speak for

3:50

the streets Yeah, we

3:53

were a bit. I guess I'm thinking about again

3:55

going to school There's a

3:57

lot of raspberry iced tea floating around That

4:00

was a big one, but that's what it was just what

4:02

the cafeteria had so it wasn't a choice

4:04

thing Um, and

4:06

then you know mountain dew i'm putting a lot of

4:08

chips on this right now. Yeah, like

4:10

i'm kind of just going donnell

4:18

Perfect i'm doing a podcast with

4:20

stobby and tom Man What's

4:34

up donnell what's going on

4:36

what else son hey man, I got a question we

4:39

got a question for you And

4:42

um, you're speaking for all of black

4:44

america right now As I always do

4:46

I know Okay,

4:49

am I right in the uh the assumption

4:52

I made I

4:56

know Okay,

5:03

okay, we'll shift it to this for

5:06

the most part do black

5:08

dudes prefer pepsi over coke

5:12

Pepsi wow Told

5:14

you There's

5:16

a book called the pepsi challenge and

5:19

back in like the late 40s when um, Coca-cola

5:22

and pepsi they was the top dogs,

5:24

right? Coca-cola was murdering pepsi And

5:27

pepsi wanted to get more of the black community.

5:29

I know this sounds crazy So

5:31

what they did was they they they had the

5:33

same price as coke, but they doubled the ounces

5:35

like when coke is giving away 10 ounces When

5:39

coke is giving away 10 ounces pepsi would give away

5:42

Uh 20 ounces and pepsi cola

5:44

was the first big corporation To

5:47

put black families in a

5:49

professional Setting with this

5:51

wow with the marketing like okay

5:53

when you saw a brand being

5:56

represented It was like and to mama this but it

5:58

was the first one to show black people How do

6:00

you did You guys? Do you prefer the

6:02

you prefer? Do you prefer Pepsi? Ah,

6:05

do you prefer Pepsi? Know

6:08

why will decide to

6:10

assess assess assess as

6:12

ssssss. Shortly.

6:16

Was of the wild? Okay. To

6:19

sugar syrup part was when the

6:21

first copy short lived with good

6:23

luck Nets are the beg you

6:25

for villainous and earners Did you

6:27

guys playing this is my father

6:29

had like go same size as

6:31

sources I know it's out of

6:33

our graduates about I've also heard

6:35

of i have not been said

6:37

and blind taste test yeah you

6:39

know where you just have a

6:41

move my billie love Pepsi but

6:43

fitness via that that has who

6:45

had always wins. Wine. Tasters because

6:47

it is a sweet are treated people go about

6:49

your members is a ladder about the books that

6:51

doll saga but I remember that was the craze

6:53

when I was like I was thirteen. You put

6:56

a look either. Oyster Crackers. Drink. Some

6:58

soda or use that. We're doing the to

7:00

challenge for fun. his own will coach when

7:02

you have to cope to the big hurts

7:04

because they change their own. They went to

7:06

a clear coax I do. I remember hearing

7:08

about that as a sort of his and

7:10

or you coke. Yeah and it's fucked it

7:12

up. Cocos nurses why they came with the

7:14

the name classic. To. The wheels nurses is

7:17

that was the tell people hate that boucher we

7:19

did. Sorry yes this is what you are You

7:21

said it will that issue I mean that there

7:23

is something then the stout. Any time you don't

7:25

miss style Joe American the style just. It

7:27

does. Feel racist jokes? You know you mean

7:29

like it makes sense Why black will be like.

7:32

The. New one the one Michael Jackson

7:34

drank with herbs. Eyes glow. Yeah, we

7:37

want that. We don't like cooking. Classes

7:39

have scrapped. Font yes

7:41

like from before Segregation? yeah you

7:43

would be seen as tight as

7:45

many pathetic die. Every

7:47

employee who never who did and it went

7:49

to school black to World classics have a

7:51

years ago and than that assessment. Go

7:55

back doors and as backdoors.

7:58

I didn't hear that. It

8:00

with your own sit way to

8:02

throw a synergism coda. It's a

8:04

especially good idea. I always had

8:06

this fantasy of doing a Pepsi

8:08

add. Where. He was zags. He.

8:11

Just he was in the middle of a

8:13

domestic argument in and a guy says fuck

8:15

him like through a pants and that hit

8:17

the woman and and she's crying and as

8:19

she weeps the camera turns and is just

8:21

like Pepsi. You. Know. Just

8:25

the Kansas do a taste us where

8:27

it's a guy blindfolded and they bring

8:29

in a coconut cost. Any teacher taught

8:32

us that Pepsi system. So

8:34

Pepsi and I just started. it's uncertain fucking

8:36

with have seats Success Start by what you

8:39

just described as cops wave or to do

8:41

I got to do because Zero Zero you

8:43

a good or for a Pepsi. I love

8:45

the Reagan deep into died so say have

8:47

a lot of thought I have Yeah capella

8:49

our but by the way I would that.l

8:52

Powell I think parkinson's. Over there that

8:54

was around perfect. Is that what? What

8:56

a perfect person to go? Yes he

8:58

does the So I was always geico

9:00

guy harcourt unknown disease and will disease

9:02

of a knitter once you're and and

9:05

had to come up with that that's

9:07

very inventive for his voice sees how

9:09

the zebra Mcdonalds under his oh exactly

9:11

specific the Mega Man Usa is a

9:13

possibility never as I do. Whatever Gabi

9:15

as age of my lot of us.

9:20

Citizens are both thirds of the As A

9:22

As. A separate most

9:24

as yes yeah it's a

9:26

bad business is busy contradict

9:28

the postal system of athletes

9:30

flag yes city spends feels

9:32

like I'm a I'm I

9:34

keep the allegations quite. That's.

9:38

Still, not only rise. Of

9:41

a be able to bas. So I started

9:43

drinking diet Pepsi. Yes I fucking love Pepsi.

9:45

or to Yeah. And

9:47

I am. I just had it says. My perception

9:50

of what I drank it so nice. He's always

9:52

been for me. So I got any subject

9:54

to me dizzy and then I just drink it

9:56

and ice and it's a it's casual, some a

9:58

mouthpiece familiar. In

10:00

say. Is

10:03

if I get his I could get me through the day.

10:05

Drink? you know? and I don't want coffee a gimme dc

10:07

us. I. Started looking at Pepsi as

10:09

a free. Size. Of it as

10:11

it is little sweeter so i started than can.

10:13

Do. Member those times when you grandma was that you

10:16

don't say was saddam have a drink and grandma's

10:18

always pull out Pepsi and a my grandma plot

10:20

Pepsi and I was in cook guys I grew

10:22

up in the south but you have a Pepsi

10:24

the and it felt like you are. Splurging.

10:27

And having a moment for started thinking about

10:29

Grail every time I target diet Pepsi their

10:31

act and it makes me I don't know

10:34

anybody who's more into. Splurging.

10:36

And little treat. yeah that shoots. I'm

10:38

also realizes during scrape you're a huge

10:40

liquids guy. Just as I mean, I

10:42

think everything's years. like I'm fucking drunk

10:45

obviously. but I play on the outside.

10:49

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sorry bird it hasn't been every

14:29

decision you've made listen

14:31

man it's a double-edged sword pal

14:33

we're playing fucking arenas people sitting

14:36

out in the sun for eight hours drinking

14:38

fucking the millers and buds all fucking day

14:42

I think I think you did very well for that

14:44

right yeah but it's not also not i guess what

14:46

i'm realizing it's not it doesn't have

14:48

to be alcoholic you're a huge you're talking

14:50

about these you're talking about coffee how often

14:52

in your day are you drinking a lick are

14:55

you ever dry no no ever

14:57

spent any time not liquid it up and

14:59

then I'm sorry one more thing and

15:01

then it's like these associations you have with

15:03

the liquids are fascinating because you're talking about

15:05

your grandma and it's like this

15:07

there's such a deep I feel like there's a

15:10

deep psychology with every drink you drink that we

15:12

could probably unravel Bert one

15:14

beverage at a time I feel like probably I

15:16

can tell you what I want to have if

15:18

I'm gonna get in the pool yeah situationally

15:22

you have what's your pool drink different by spritz

15:24

the part spritz

15:27

one of the best goddamn drinks in the fucking world

15:30

I like the other one uh a brawl spritz yeah

15:32

okay so I was a child when compartion ice was

15:34

that was introduced as long as it was like compartion

15:36

ice oh so nice yeah and I try one day

15:38

I was like oh I'm trying to party on ice

15:41

it's garbage it's really garbage very rough it's very rough

15:43

yeah and I but I want it it looks

15:45

it's cool great it's a great color and

15:47

then I was with I feel sophisticated

15:50

I was with Antonio LaPau and

15:54

she said would you we should have been compartes spritz and

15:56

I went well I don't think I've ever had one Two

16:00

parts Campari, three

16:02

parts Prosecco, one part soda

16:04

water, and it gives you a bite on

16:07

the back of your tongue, but a freshness. And

16:09

it kicks, I can have one right now. Actually,

16:11

can you have the Make Me a Campari Spritz,

16:13

please? I can't do this. Yeah,

16:15

no, I was a national calling you a

16:17

drunk. Yeah. Have

16:19

Pete make me a Campari Spritz, please. I

16:23

fucking love a nice Campari Spritz, but I don't

16:25

like, I have a friend, I had a friend,

16:27

he's no longer drinking, who

16:29

only drank Johnny Walker Black. I thought he was

16:31

gonna die, I thought he died, and it's like,

16:33

he might as well be dead to you. Well,

16:36

we don't talk that much. But

16:39

he was just Johnny Walker Black. Okay. Everywhere,

16:41

Johnny Walker Black, that was his only drink. And if they didn't have Johnny

16:43

Walker Black, he wasn't drinking. Really?

16:46

And he was a big drinker, he wouldn't even fucking drink. If

16:48

they didn't have Johnny Walker Black,

16:50

no booze. Interesting. And I never understood

16:52

that, because I thought booze should

16:55

compliment your moment. It should,

16:57

if you're at the Whaler down in Marina

16:59

del Rey, and you're on the top

17:01

deck, and you get some little

17:03

calamari, you definitely want a

17:06

margarita, with ice around the rim, frozen

17:08

with a floater on top. Brown, come

17:10

on, Jesus. I mean, I- See,

17:13

I'm so, such a food addict that I'm still thinking

17:15

about the calamari. Me too. I don't give

17:17

a fuck about the, I will drink, I mean, Mark, good,

17:19

but I'll have a number of drinks, but fucking

17:22

rooftop, looking at the water with some

17:24

calamari, that's some good. I guess I'm

17:26

honestly thinking beer in that situation, because

17:28

I think about being in Greece, because

17:31

they have all these little beach side-

17:33

Unbelievable. Like, taverns. See, that's the problem.

17:36

Beer's overwhelmed our culture, when beer should

17:38

be had at beer moments. What's a

17:40

beer moment? You're skiing in Jackson

17:42

Hole. You stop off, and you stop off, yeah,

17:45

you're snowboarding, and then you stop off at the

17:47

little ski chalet, and everyone's out there, all the

17:49

girls look beautiful, everyone's got their jackets off, and

17:52

you go, ooh, I wouldn't mind a nice IPA.

17:54

Nice, heavy IPA. But the status of their outerwear

17:56

is, that's the most

17:58

specific. I would say for

18:01

beer it's hot and I would like a beer

18:05

No, I just got out of a

18:07

pool. I'm drinking a beer you can have a

18:09

jacket on that day in Texas by the way

18:11

with a Cider, oh, okay That

18:15

is the money actually is

18:17

thirst quenching. Yeah delicious goes down

18:19

like it's fucking Gatorade you had

18:21

sour beer We are

18:23

beer guys our beers fucking sorry. I feel

18:25

refined when I drink that shit. You're in

18:27

Alabama eating barbecue Okay, a sour beer is

18:30

the best thing to compliment barbecue because you

18:32

want sweet to your lemonade you also want

18:34

to buzz Sorry, I feel

18:36

like every time we got in a sour

18:38

they fucking poured in a goblet That's not

18:40

very like Birmingham Birmingham, Alabama right across from

18:44

This great barbecue restaurant. There's a sour beer

18:48

Thing I'll tell you what kind of change beer for me

18:50

I'm not a big beer drinker, but I went to this

18:52

dude's house Who kept he

18:54

had it all his beer was in

18:56

a fridge set at like? 34

19:00

33 or something the dedicated beverage fridge is

19:02

one of those so cold like you know

19:04

I mean like Yeah,

19:06

yeah, that's awesome man. I saw I'm not

19:08

a one I even Somewhat

19:10

warm you know I mean no I want

19:12

it fucking I you want to hiccup the

19:14

first fuck yeah first goal You know the

19:16

hotel across the street from CIA over

19:19

in Central City There's a big hotel

19:21

right across the street from CIA next door to where

19:23

they shot die hard the takami me dollars Yeah,

19:26

there's a yaka. Tomi plaza. There's a

19:28

hotel there in the bar. I'm gonna

19:30

my dick's gonna get hard And

19:33

the bar has frosted The

19:37

caps are covered in ice and I

19:39

can I did least yeah No,

19:44

I left that I left my meeting there

19:46

I went over to that bar, and I had like

19:49

six beers. I left my car Yeah, and had

19:51

to uber home. I was like I can't work with these people. I

19:54

can't work with them. They're fucking killing me God

19:57

fucking beers pretty great, too. I know I'm something

19:59

I've been taking a year off all substances. I

20:02

turned 35 this year. When did you do that?

20:04

February 12th. So

20:06

you've been, so you still have a full year almost.

20:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like we're, You're not almost there,

20:10

bro. Oh, oh, oh, wait, I thought you were gonna

20:12

do it next February. No, no, no,

20:15

no, no, no, no, no. No, it's been about

20:17

three months. And I realized

20:19

I'm not, I mean, I wasn't a huge drinker.

20:21

For me, it's way more weed and drugs. Those

20:24

are much more, and honestly food, that's

20:26

much worse for me. But I

20:29

was fucking grilling, and I

20:31

was, and it was hot in, I was in Baltimore, and

20:33

I got a little backyard, and I got a non-alcoholic beer,

20:35

because that to me is just such a pure

20:38

beer moment of like, got a fucking,

20:40

got a little bratwurst, got a fucking

20:42

couple lamb chops. I gotta

20:44

have a fucking little brewski. What's the

20:46

hardest food for you to resist? Is

20:48

there, is there, is it like, like,

20:53

carby, starchy stuff to eat? It's night

20:55

ice cream, brother. It's what? Night ice

20:57

cream. I'm clean off, honestly,

20:59

I think of that as a drug. Like,

21:01

I think of that, like, I'm sober off, I

21:03

can't be sober off food, you have to eat

21:05

food, but I am sober off of full fat

21:08

night ice cream for three months

21:10

now. Nice. Listen,

21:12

will I have some Halo Top, methadone, every

21:14

once in a while, in a hard moment?

21:16

Yes, I will. I will have a

21:18

330 calorie fucked up tasting Halo Top. And

21:23

I also got one of those Ninja Creamies

21:25

to just fucking make your own, it's just

21:27

protein powder and almond milk, and it comes

21:29

up with, again, some kind of fake. How

21:32

has, like, how has the three months affected

21:34

you? Have you noticed changes? I don't know,

21:36

dude. Mentally, physically? Not really,

21:39

I mean, I guess I'm happier, but I'm also

21:41

not working as much. So it's like, probably just

21:43

from not doing shit that I feel better. And

21:45

everyone's like, oh, you're gonna miss working, you're gonna

21:47

be back at it. No, I

21:50

fucking hate doing anything. Even it's like,

21:53

I'm done, like, I just,

21:55

I could do nothing forever.

21:58

I'm a fucking hangout guy. I

22:00

could have a fucking little barbie my see my

22:02

friends beach just chill whatever

22:04

I guess I'd wanted to stand up

22:06

But we're talking 15 minute spots, you

22:09

know, I don't need to do an hour Just fucking do a couple

22:11

spots not get ready for an hour. Just fuck around And

22:14

have a good time Let me cool to go back to that

22:16

world to like when we all first

22:18

start was you started when you started when

22:20

all the social Media was starting to kick

22:23

in not really. I mean I started I when

22:26

I started there was like Twitter, but

22:28

you would just write your jokes. No one really had

22:30

a YouTube I was lucky in that like

22:32

dude I feel bad for people starting stand-up now because

22:34

they have to post their dog shit clips now Yeah,

22:36

I like to remind them that they don't have to

22:39

well Yeah, they don't but I remember I remember what

22:41

I but remember what you thought what how you thought

22:43

we were 24 You're like I'm actually one of the

22:45

funniest people on earth Like you think that and it's

22:47

like your joke about my jokes were about like, you

22:50

know Not being too fat to wipe my

22:52

ass, you know what I mean? Like and shit

22:54

like that take that out the new special Yeah

23:01

And I would if I could have I

23:04

would have shown the world cuz in my head I'm like

23:06

well, yes I'm yes I'm the feature

23:09

here at uncle Dave's comedy hour at

23:11

the Red House Tavern in Baltimore But

23:13

where I should be is on fucking

23:15

Saturday Night Live. Yeah, I just thought

23:18

it was like the media holding

23:20

back Not how shitty I was at comedy

23:22

And so I get the site because they

23:24

even want to do step you have to

23:26

be fucking stupid and like, you know And

23:28

think you deserve to for people to hear

23:30

you talk which Almost

23:32

nobody does like eight people in

23:34

the world do and but especially

23:36

not some 22 year old with

23:38

no life experience I thought it

23:41

was just harder when when I

23:43

started to get the clip

23:45

and get it posted There wasn't as many places.

23:47

Yeah when it first went up. I was like,

23:49

oh, this is people are really gonna

23:51

celebrate the world I

24:00

posted something on my space video. That

24:03

was the first place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

24:05

mean, dude, I was a, literally, I probably

24:07

posted the second or third time I did

24:09

stand up and like my big fucking joke

24:11

was like, you wanna know where to find

24:13

me at the end on a Friday night?

24:16

Paddle your canoe up the river of

24:18

semen and tears. Like I'm beating off

24:20

and crying. And I was like, heat,

24:23

gonna get me fucking a sitcom. It's

24:27

like not even a joke. That's not a joke. I

24:30

was just like a sort of entered, like a kind

24:32

of cute little phrase,

24:34

but incredibly vulgar. I

24:36

guess it's sort of poetic. Like

24:38

it's closer to a poem. It's a

24:40

great description. It is a joke. I

24:42

can see it. Yeah. Hey,

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25:46

yeah, I remember posting the grainiest footage you've ever

25:48

seen in your fucking life. And I remember reading,

25:50

that was the time where you were excited to see the

25:53

comments. Yeah, yeah, you didn't know what comments were. Here's the

25:55

thing, now that I remember, it wasn't that I had posted

25:57

it, because I didn't think I knew how to do that.

26:00

It's that it was like just for last

26:02

had posted it. I was like,

26:04

oh, let me see all the

26:06

praise I'm gonna get. And

26:08

people were like, don't quit whatever you're

26:10

doing during the day. I

26:15

remember wanting any

26:17

feedback. I remember

26:20

people would like, Zach Galfakis would have a

26:22

clip up of him getting smacked in

26:24

the face by an Asian chick or something. Sounds

26:26

awesome. And I think either that or he

26:29

hit her. I don't know. Zach,

26:31

we're talking about comedy. Zach, have you never seen

26:33

Live for the Purple Onion? I've seen 11 Purple

26:35

Onions. Yeah, I think he gets an Asian one

26:37

when we slap him in the face. Oh, okay,

26:39

okay, okay. And so hold on, hang on. Okay,

26:43

real quick, I'm going back to this.

26:45

Yeah. I don't wanna forget. Have

26:48

either of you ever heard how Christi Ali's parents

26:50

died? Christi Ali's

26:52

parents? No. Okay. Do

26:55

not let me, do not let me forget to. Okay.

26:57

You're never gonna believe this. And I'm only

27:00

doing this so that I can hear your

27:02

laugh. Okay, great. Her death? Her parents? Her

27:04

parents' death. You in a million years will

27:06

never be able to guess how her parents died. And she's dead,

27:08

right? She's dead, so we can play this clip. Okay. That's

27:11

how it works, yeah. Do not let

27:13

me forget to play this clip, okay? All

27:15

right. But let's go back to where we're talking

27:17

about. Live for the Purple Onion. And

27:19

I remember all my videos

27:22

were, what's wrong with black

27:24

people? Because I just wanted

27:26

action. And I was like, it doesn't matter who watches

27:28

it. Like, just gets action. And I was

27:30

like, God, man, Zach's so lucky. People are shitting on

27:32

him. Yeah, it's like, damn. Like,

27:34

that was your feed? That's what you were interested

27:36

in? I think. Or you were putting out what's wrong

27:38

with black people? I was putting it out. Oh, no. No,

27:41

but it was a bait. It

27:43

was early click bait. Okay. Early click

27:45

bait. Because the joke was good. Okay,

27:47

okay. and the black

27:49

people? Like, what the fuck? Right, right. And then they didn't like

27:52

it anyway. They were like, oh yeah, you got me. But you

27:54

got who I got. You got me. I

27:57

had so many. That was my whole. I'm

28:00

jealous that like, Zach had

28:02

the coolest like, footprint.

28:05

Like he was like, in his Wikipedia it

28:07

says he was a member of the Omega

28:09

Phi Psi fraternity. And I

28:12

was like, Oh, the like black fraternity. The

28:14

cute old. Yeah. And I was like,

28:16

Oh fuck, they're fucking with this. How cool is

28:18

that? Now I look back, I'm like, Oh, he

28:20

must have not liked that. Yeah. He

28:22

must have been like, Hey guys,

28:24

I don't know. I would love to see him

28:26

in Omega Phi Psi. I would have loved to.

28:29

Like he's getting branded. I would have loved to

28:31

see young Zach with you. Yeah, absolutely. Young Zach.

28:34

Big hero. Come on, Galifianakis. Yeah.

28:37

Did you know him at all? No, I don't know him at all. Yeah.

28:40

Zach, do you remember how great, I mean, Zach's still brilliant.

28:42

That was huge. I mean, when, the Live

28:44

at the Purple Onion and all that stuff, like I

28:46

was, his comedy central half hour, like it obviously because

28:48

he's Greek, but I was also on that, a little

28:50

bit on that like, alt the, you

28:52

know, I did clubs too, but I just

28:54

loved his shit. So it was like, yeah.

28:57

You'd pop around town when I was popping

28:59

around, like doing those spots and

29:01

Zach would pop in. Everybody

29:03

would fucking flip out. And people

29:05

just stole the joke construction of

29:07

like, here's my impression of what

29:09

is it like the, the

29:13

illiterate, the like, fuck,

29:15

I'm blowing it. But it's like, he just

29:17

do like these very shitty like impressions and

29:19

they were just like these little jokes with

29:21

the potential literate. And he's like, Oh,

29:23

I'm sorry. I

29:25

can't read. You know, like the

29:28

literate. Yeah. I stole that. Like

29:30

I was just stealing his shit, you know, as an open

29:32

mic where you're just like doing he was these little setups

29:35

and you know, these like impressions that are just little micro.

29:37

Did you ever see, I mean, the thing that was crazy

29:39

about Zach was he would go up

29:42

in an orphan Annie dress. You

29:44

ever see this? Yeah. And he would

29:46

bring and he would have a black choir hidden

29:48

behind the thing. He'd

29:50

tell a borderline racially

29:53

involved. Oh yeah. Yeah. And

29:55

he'd say, I got a letter from a white choir. a

30:00

black woman who didn't like that joke. And I

30:02

want to apologize to her in the best way

30:04

I can possibly can. And then the

30:07

curtain would drop and there would be an all black

30:09

choir and there'd be singing and then Zach would have

30:11

a clipboard and he dropped papers of, and it was

30:13

so fucking inventive. Like no one

30:15

was doing what Zach was doing. And

30:18

he was like totally free, like

30:20

a real artist, him and comedians of

30:22

comedy is one of the, it's

30:24

a real glimpse at like a real

30:26

brilliant mind that hasn't been fucked with yet. Like

30:30

everyone was excited to see him. And

30:32

he said this, I remember watching all

30:34

his shit and my mom's gold grand

30:37

caravan got a flat on the way to comedians

30:39

and cars and I didn't get to see that

30:41

show at the wrecker in Towson.

30:44

Still one of the things I'm the saddest about in

30:46

my life. I can barely drive

30:48

and it's like, I just fucked, I just

30:50

got a flat, I'm just there. I'm like,

30:52

I want to see old comedy. I'm like,

30:54

you know? But he had, he was talking

30:56

about when he edited his special, he

30:59

played the piano on purpose so they couldn't take jokes

31:01

out. It would fuck with the music. And he like,

31:03

he would take off his like, his

31:06

clothing so that they couldn't

31:08

jump around and cut around and he like made

31:10

it so that, because I guess, I mean, you

31:13

guys would know better than me, but it feels

31:15

like they fucked around with people's half hours quite

31:17

a bit. Oh, especially back, yeah. That was a

31:19

big thing. I also remember that there was this

31:21

thing about Zach too that I didn't really

31:23

understand then is that he always seemed like

31:25

he didn't want to be there. Yeah. Everywhere

31:28

you saw him, he was like, ugh.

31:30

Yeah. He was ready to leave.

31:32

That's great work ethic right there. I

31:36

feel it. He

31:38

was the first guy to rock scarfs on stage. He

31:41

would rest like eccentrically, but

31:43

on purpose, like accidentally

31:45

eccentrically. He, and

31:48

he was the funnest fucking

31:50

guy to drink with. I believe that. When

31:52

he drank, he was such a good drunk.

31:54

Like he was just- Is he sober now?

31:56

Yeah, he's sober. Every time Bruce says

31:58

that. He's like says it was

32:00

like sadness in his world. We lost one That

32:04

was a tough one Because he

32:06

was so he still is the sweetest guy. I saw

32:09

him at Brody's funeral He's you

32:11

know, Zach Galifianakis. Yeah, and he comes up.

32:13

He goes. Hey birded sack. I went. Yeah,

32:15

I know Yeah, he's like why I don't know if you'd

32:17

remember and I was like buddy You're in

32:19

the biggest comedy that in the history of comedy

32:21

like everyone knows you are Zach and he's like

32:23

well It's good seeing you I was like it's

32:25

crazy in you and then he murdered at Brody's

32:28

Rose. He murdered He murdered you go to Brody's

32:30

Rose or Rose funeral his memorial thing. Yeah, I

32:32

don't know The best

32:34

story they had he walked into Zach

32:37

Walked Brody into HBO to

32:39

sell the enjoy it and they didn't

32:42

know what show they were shooting HBO didn't

32:44

know what shoot show they were buying and

32:46

they said so tell us about Brody and he goes this is really

32:48

hard Brody give us your top five streets in LA and he goes

32:51

sata koi Saphovita

32:53

I like the bass like and he just starts going

32:55

off on his five favorite streets in LA and they

32:57

go we'll buy it Zach goes I don't know what

33:00

the fuck we sold Yeah,

33:02

Brody was a fucking a drink when

33:04

we were in the wings after

33:08

Zach had done his tribute which was

33:10

like really yeah funny and also really

33:12

touching And then somebody else went

33:14

up and they started crying and

33:17

Zach goes pussay Just

33:23

quietly yeah, that's great

33:26

It's always tough at a funeral when somebody crushes it

33:28

and you gotta and then somebody's just like, you know

33:30

I think i'm gonna go speak from the heart and

33:32

then they blow it Ah one

33:35

of the worst feelings exact buddies or

33:37

Brody's buddies are all baseball players athletes

33:40

and so they all thought I

33:43

remember one guy was at the funeral and he was like dude.

33:45

I can't believe i'm doing a set at the store. Oh, no

33:48

It's a memorial and he did

33:50

a spot. Yeah, he did. He roasted Brody Everyone's

33:54

like That's tough. It was a

33:56

tough one and then Zach went up and was

33:58

fucking destroyed. That guy. Yeah. So

34:01

fucking good Man, he's so good I wish.

34:03

I. Don't Own me. I guess he's like you.

34:06

He is like like. He.

34:08

I'm always fascinated. I mean as as

34:11

a compliment because your generation has a

34:13

work ethic this different than our generation.

34:15

like I can't stop working. And

34:17

I'm a blog you destefano. The ot Your

34:20

whole group of guys raleigh your work enough

34:22

so that you can enjoy life. Yeah, yeah,

34:24

yeah, I'm fascinated by that. Yeah, I

34:26

mean, I don't want to, because I think

34:29

ultimately, working. Is like. This.

34:31

In this idea that you have the concert the

34:33

be doing more and more is so fucked up

34:36

and poisonous I think and that site that is

34:38

the prom with America to me is is the

34:40

like. Cabins good up until

34:42

the point. Resent the keep going. And.

34:44

It's like wages find. The place was nice

34:46

and stop. Long. As to keep. Why

34:49

does shareholders always want more? Why can't You

34:51

should be a profitable business and get to

34:53

see your family get to do all these

34:55

things and you know I sig that is

34:57

something where. I mean

34:59

most people my age like are working

35:01

for can just to survive, so it's

35:03

almost like this thing of the best.

35:06

The best thing you could do is of success was

35:08

like. Actually, Just get to live like

35:10

what a middle class person got to live like. The.

35:13

No one generation ago, them or glass doesn't exist

35:15

anymore. So all I want us to. You.

35:17

Know have a good time, make some stuff, it's fun

35:20

and then. Figure. Out being happy

35:22

because using is. Being. Successful as

35:24

a fucking make you happy dance that doesn't

35:26

necessarily make you happy instead of. Us:

35:29

are you have been unsuccessful Makes you sad. Sacks

35:32

are some do never got to be I I

35:34

have a really sweet spot in this business and

35:36

that and Tom was saw it. Firsthand,

35:39

Is like. I. was on

35:41

travel channel and like not not really a

35:43

most successful but not like magnet not across

35:46

warbles like all birds here yeah and then

35:48

tom was with me when everyone started popping

35:50

herbalist are born of tom sergeant theaters and

35:52

rose podcast grown and always got seven hundred

35:55

thousand downloads on his pants a skeptic texas

35:57

doing his show and and i and i

35:59

got Fire from Travel channel and I remember

36:01

being, it's not

36:04

like you're a pariah, but there's a stink

36:06

on you with other comics. They'd look past

36:08

you. And trust me when I say,

36:10

I think even at Brody's Roast, Tom

36:14

goes, and everyone's like, oh, Tom Skur's here. And I was

36:17

just, I think I sat at the table with you

36:19

and Push, because I didn't know where to sit. And

36:21

because I wasn't like a maid man. And

36:24

people that show up, I remember Bradley Cooper

36:26

showed up, and I was like, oh fuck,

36:28

it's Bradley Cooper. And I

36:30

remember being like, whoa. And so I remember

36:32

not being, thinking,

36:35

am I cool with the fact that I'm 44

36:39

and it's not gonna happen? And

36:42

people know it's not gonna happen. And people would

36:44

look past you. They'd look past you at a

36:46

party, and you're in the hallway of the store,

36:48

and they're like, oh shit, Chris Lee is here.

36:50

And they'd walk right past you, and you'd be

36:52

like, okay, and that's your life. And,

36:55

see, that's a perfect example, because

36:57

I would say, what's Chris

37:00

Delia's life like right now, you know

37:02

what I mean? The point is success if

37:04

your personal life isn't right. If you might

37:06

have a couple of kooky

37:08

habits, your personal life,

37:12

your success is not gonna save you from that,

37:14

and that's also, I think a lot of

37:16

your psychology too of maybe that's true,

37:18

because people are shitty, but how

37:21

you wanted to be perceived didn't match up

37:23

with your perception maybe. But how I felt

37:25

about myself. Right, right, right. And also it's

37:27

like, but that's what you can control. And

37:29

sorry, now we're just getting into like fucking

37:32

therapy and like philosophy. I would actually, I

37:34

would be curious, and I hope we can

37:36

keep this in the podcast, but I

37:38

would be curious to hear

37:40

Delia's perspective if he's happier now that

37:42

his life is less chaotic,

37:44

less crazy with his kid. You know,

37:46

that really wasn't what I was talking

37:49

about. I wasn't really talking about him

37:51

slowing down career-wise. That was the negatives

37:53

with Chris Delia. I was

37:55

kind of talking about some other stuff he

37:57

was up to. It

38:00

is a great insight into your mind where

38:02

it's like it does matter to you in

38:04

a way where and maybe that's upbringing, right?

38:06

Like maybe you have you feel the need

38:08

to live up to something because like look

38:10

I didn't also come from I mean My

38:13

parents came to America. We we grew up poor. I

38:15

grew up in Baltimore and my thought process was I

38:17

just wanted to fucking make $70,000

38:21

a year playing B clubs my

38:23

entire life. That was the only goal I

38:26

had I wanted to put out one special

38:28

and I wanted to make one really good

38:30

special that was like career wise I wanted

38:32

to just be a comedian and artistically I

38:35

wanted one special that I could look at

38:37

myself in the eyes and say like that

38:39

was a great special What it did

38:41

commercially doesn't didn't matter to me She had an artistic

38:44

goal and I had a like career goal and I

38:46

blew past the career goal in a way that I

38:48

still am Having trouble with and artistically I'm not there

38:50

yet And so that gives me purpose of like I

38:53

want to make one thing that I think is great And

38:55

so I just feel like I'm kind of playing

38:57

with house money and my family's

38:59

fucking good because of me And I've kind of

39:01

done it, you know, and it's like that's

39:04

awesome And that's just kind of how I feel like

39:06

it's a great perspective and then it's like, you know

39:09

I'd like to I'd like to

39:11

fix some like psychological shit my family's,

39:13

you know, we're good financially But

39:16

you know, I'd like to I have a

39:18

fucked-up relationship with You

39:20

know commitment relationships all this like my career is great

39:22

But my personal life I didn't work on at all

39:24

and so that's the thing I want to and I

39:27

think you're in a good great place where you were

39:29

working on your family the whole time and like that's

39:31

a different thing of of You

39:34

know, I don't have that and

39:36

then you might have had some stuff. I don't know if it's like family

39:38

stuff I don't know what the background is. I don't know the

39:40

like what you wanted to achieve and So

39:44

like you were feeling like a piece of shit when you're like

39:46

45 or whatever But you can look at

39:48

that I could look at that as a very successful

39:50

career where you read I always thought of your successful

39:52

comic both you guys like coming up. You're very aware

39:54

of you know Now

39:57

you could argue what you're doing now is fucking insane

40:00

Like it is, it's crazy. There's no

40:02

other, you're both doing

40:04

fucking arenas. That's fucking

40:06

crazy, dude. You got buses,

40:09

you know what I mean? And not one, there's

40:11

buses for fucking the

40:14

stage and shit like that. I

40:16

would argue that's fucked up and too much.

40:18

You know what I mean? Like I would

40:21

argue that it's like you're gonna drive yourself

40:23

fucking crazy. And I've told you this too,

40:25

where I'm like, you can't keep fucking working

40:27

like this. Well the next time, it's always

40:29

been a progression. Clubs to theaters, theaters to

40:32

arenas. Clubs to rock venues, rock venues to

40:34

theaters, theaters to arenas. Arenas,

40:37

arenas, there's like two tiers of arenas. There's hockey

40:39

arenas where you can get everywhere. There's like seven,

40:42

eight thousand, which is a great fucking night. And then

40:44

you get Amelie, which is what, 19? Or

40:46

fucking United Center. And then you go, okay,

40:48

so two at the United Center. And then

40:50

you're like, wait, what am I chasing? Yeah,

40:52

what's the fucking, yeah. That's my point exactly.

40:54

What am I chasing? It doesn't go bigger

40:56

than arenas. And it does stadiums,

40:58

but who wants to do 72,000 people? That

41:01

kind of do. Tampa, I'd like

41:03

to shoot one special in the Tampa stadium. Yeah.

41:07

I've already talked to the clasers, I've talked to everyone.

41:09

That would be a really great experience for the person

41:11

in the upper deck, I'll tell you that much. Motherfucker,

41:14

make 200, 200 dollars. Here's

41:18

the machine in Echo. I

41:22

read four times. I read the machine four times.

41:24

That's what I'm talking about, dude. At

41:27

a certain point, what the fuck are we even doing here? It

41:30

is cool, it is impressive. And don't get me wrong,

41:32

I want to play in arena once. Because

41:36

it's within striking distance. But I do want to make it

41:38

special. I think you do a good job of making those

41:40

shows special and events, and I want to do it in

41:42

my hometown. And if shit

41:45

broke great for me, MSG would

41:47

be the fucking dream of all dreams. But

41:50

I also think that's for yourself a little

41:52

bit. And that I really think going

41:55

back to what I even started this shit for is like, let's

41:58

just make, I'm still just chasing, let me make. one

42:00

great special that I'm just fucking so

42:02

happy about that it's like, and

42:04

then it's just like, you're kind of done

42:06

and that like life isn't just career

42:09

and working, that is a very American thing

42:11

of like, let me accumulate more and more

42:13

and more and let me, no amount of

42:15

money is enough. And that's like a

42:17

fucked up way of thinking, I think that we all

42:19

can't help it, that's how our society is structured, but

42:22

I'm trying to like stay away

42:24

from that. I wish I was more grounded like that. I

42:26

don't even know what I'm, there's a book, What Makes Sammy

42:28

Run, that I never

42:30

understood and then when I started doing it, I went, I don't

42:32

know what makes Sammy run. No one can figure out what makes

42:34

Sammy run. And I don't know what I'm

42:36

chasing and I don't know what I'm trying to prove. Maybe I'm trying

42:39

to prove it to myself. Maybe I'm trying to

42:41

prove it to the industry. I know, I

42:43

mean, I did fully loaded. That

42:45

is it dad shit, is it family shit? No,

42:47

I mean, my dad was a guy who was always like, always said he was

42:49

proud of me. And so I know

42:51

when we did Forest Hills

42:54

last year, someone said to

42:56

me, they were like, it's

43:00

really great show. And they were like, can you

43:02

believe that you created this? And I said,

43:04

no. And they said, why did you

43:06

create this? And I said, I was drunk. I

43:09

said, because if I didn't create it, I wouldn't be invited.

43:12

And they were like, that's fucking crazy. And

43:14

I was like, this might be the

43:16

psychology of all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, if I didn't do

43:19

it, no one was gonna ask me to do it. I

43:21

wanna have a party. And

43:23

so if I don't create it, no one's gonna ask me

43:25

to do it. No one's gonna be like, we need to get burnt. That's

43:28

also not true. Well, now it's not

43:30

because I've done all these huge things. But if

43:32

I didn't do those huge things, I would have

43:34

never been invited, I feel like. But that's also

43:36

like, if that's why people are showing up, those

43:39

aren't people you wanna be around anyway. You

43:41

know what I mean? It's like the people that would have been there

43:43

if shit was just going okay, those are your

43:45

actors. That's who you wanna spend time with. And

43:48

it's one thing to like meet people because you're just

43:50

doing more shows. But if you think you had to

43:52

achieve something to get people to fucking hang out with

43:54

you, then it's like being the fucking rich kid with

43:57

an N64 who nobody

43:59

actually fucking... What does that mean? No, that's

44:01

not what you should be striving for is

44:03

my point. Is

44:06

that you're a great guy who's fucking awesome to

44:09

be around and people are going to like being

44:11

around you whether you have this shit

44:13

or you don't. And then in fact, by

44:15

striving for approval

44:17

from people who don't really

44:20

give a fuck, you might be

44:22

spreading yourself too thin and just

44:24

fucking over yourself in a very

44:26

basic human

44:29

way and maybe even those

44:31

people that would have been around, maybe you're not

44:34

paying attention to them because you're striving for other

44:36

motherfuckers. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, fucking good

44:39

party spritz. My sister, Cottie,

44:41

you drinking one too? Oh, you made him?

44:44

Thank you. He's sober.

44:46

Tom and I'll take one. It does look incredible. It's

44:49

so good. Take a look at that. If you can

44:51

get a look at the bubbles coming up, look at the great ice.

44:53

Ice is really important. I'm a big fan of ice. It's

44:55

huge. I think you should have

44:57

gotten just successful enough to be able to say,

44:59

I would like a Campari spritz and someone brings

45:01

it to you. That's very successful. You don't need

45:03

any more than that though. You know what I

45:05

mean? You talk about Sprite. Are you

45:07

a clear soda fan? I'm

45:10

not a clear soda guy. Dr.

45:12

Brown's, by the way, I never got

45:15

this out. Dr. Brown's is a boutique

45:17

soda. Their diet cream

45:19

soda gives the A&W a run for it.

45:21

I think you're, I've had that too. Those

45:25

are the number one seeds in the diet soda bracket. Okay.

45:28

Should we talk about Sprite or how Cristiali's parents died?

45:30

I'd love to talk about it. I mean, I'm game

45:32

for either, but we've been holding on for this Cristiali

45:34

story. Do we need headsets for this? Do

45:36

we need headsets for this? This

45:39

is maybe the best piece of

45:41

media that's ever been made. This is Cristiali's

45:43

parents. It was made in probably 1987. This

45:47

audio was? This audio, this video. It's

45:49

a video. Can you pull the video up? Interesting.

45:54

How long, let me ask you this. How long have you been aware

45:56

of this video? I saw it the other

45:58

day. Christine sent it to me. taking a shit

46:00

I started watching it I didn't finish it so it's kind

46:02

of new to you it's 54 and I got there and

46:04

my sister and I we were all sitting in this waiting

46:12

room and we were sobbing and as I'm crying

46:14

I said my sisters here and I wasn't looking at her but

46:16

I said where were they going

46:19

we've done the card he said to

46:22

a Halloween party and

46:26

I said what were they dressed at why

46:28

would you ask this and

46:31

she said the odd couple

46:35

I'm thinking

46:38

odd couple Walter map out and Jack Lemmon

46:42

well what were their costumes exactly she

46:45

said mom was a black girl and dad was a Ku Klux

46:47

Klan member conversation

46:53

and we all started laughing black

46:59

face holy shit and her dad with a hood

47:01

on his head oh my fucking god right

47:17

reaction yeah yeah

47:19

I mean her reaction was almost a little too

47:21

light-hearted she

47:24

did that on Barbara Walters she said my mom

47:27

was dressed in blackface

47:30

and my dad was dressed the Klan member it would

47:32

die it would have had different if the interview was

47:34

like a couple weeks ago you should not

47:36

have turned

47:45

he probably looked over and his head

47:47

went mission accomplished he got really

47:52

in the word less oh my god Dying

48:00

on the way to a Halloween party. That's

48:03

tough. In the costume. In the costume's

48:05

tough. I've had some... I don't want

48:07

to die. It's like Mr. Potato Head.

48:09

No. You know? It's almost like they're

48:11

all... anything you're wearing, it's funny. Yeah.

48:14

What was he wearing? Superman? Superman's really

48:16

good. Yeah. Anything. Yeah.

48:18

Clan outfit. Clan outfit's pretty... Can you

48:20

buy a clan outfit? You can make

48:22

one pretty easy. We can not. I bet they're hard to

48:24

make. I bet. I bet. I bet. I

48:27

bet you a thousand dollars you could sit with a sewing machine

48:29

to make a clan outfit. Well, I can't sit with a sewing

48:31

machine to make anything. Exactly. I think it's probably really hard to

48:33

make. But I mean, you could probably... I don't know about really

48:35

hard. With sewing, you could be like, hey, I need a hood

48:38

with some holes in it. Make

48:40

it pointy. I think a pillowcase. I don't know

48:42

how to make it pointy. I don't either. But

48:44

I'm saying somebody... I actually thought, yeah, I think

48:46

pillowcase, you stuff it... stuff the top with some

48:48

cotton. I wore a clan... almost a clan outfit.

48:51

When? For what? Type in... These

48:54

are pictures of it online. Oh, good. Burke

48:56

Crusher and Mardi Gras. Yeah.

48:58

Mardi Gras. Yeah. So there's... So there's a...

49:00

Listen, I'm going to upset a lot of

49:03

people in Louisiana right now. But

49:05

there's a different type of Mardi Gras outside

49:08

New Orleans where they celebrate Mardi Gras like they did in

49:10

the 30s and the 40s. And

49:12

what they would do... Type in images... images.

49:16

And you can see... Oh, that's not

49:18

Mardi Gras. That's type

49:21

in Louisiana. Okay.

49:24

Do you remember the year? There's a racist... It was TripMart.

49:26

Mardi Gras. I wore a tan camera. Oh.

49:28

And they... But they don't use white outfits.

49:30

Louisiana TripFlip, maybe. They

49:33

don't use white outfits. They use

49:35

patchwork outfits. So they use all

49:37

different cloths. So... But it's technically a clan outfit. Oh,

49:39

that first one there? Yeah. Oh,

49:43

no. Yeah. Everyone's... The hat's tough. The

49:45

hat's a tough look. You can't go

49:47

pointy. No. You cannot

49:49

go pointy. Yeah.

49:52

And it's... And... And so everyone's

49:54

dressed in these outfits. And they go on horses and

49:56

go town to town. Oh, wow. And

49:58

go... And you said they show... You're not afraid

50:00

of like the 30s is what you said? I think so.

50:03

How faithful to the 30s? We go town

50:05

to town, we do a little bonfire, a

50:07

couple yards. We gotta carry some fire with

50:09

us. Oh,

50:12

they have a, it's not a cross, but they

50:14

have a huge pole with a chicken on a

50:16

cage on top of it. And the pole's greased

50:18

and people try to climb top of the greased

50:20

pole to get the chicken off. The

50:23

whole idea of what they do is, when you go house to house

50:25

and then they throw a chicken in the yard and you all chase

50:27

a chicken and try to catch a chicken. And then once you catch

50:29

a chicken, then you carry that chicken to the next town. And

50:32

everyone's like on, in like a, in like

50:34

hay ride stuff and horseback and walking and

50:36

drinking and they're throwing beads and they've got

50:38

these live animals and then you take them

50:40

to the end and you take all these

50:42

live animals, they kill them and they make

50:45

their gumbo and they make boudin. And, but

50:47

it sounds pretty good and they, there's wild

50:49

hazing, wild hazing, like, like,

50:52

hey, blackies, get over there like that.

50:55

I mean, it's time. I'm not saying that's

50:57

what it is. It's not racially motivated, but

50:59

I'll tell you if you're black, you're not

51:02

comfortable there. Like you're probably not going like,

51:04

this is cool, man. I love seeing a

51:06

different culture. Yeah. I'm

51:08

not seeing a lot of black up in the

51:10

photo. The hatcher tough. Yeah. The

51:12

hatcher tough. Everything else was like, all right,

51:15

you know, and these women that make them are

51:17

like really good seamstresses. I still have two of

51:19

those outfits. I went to, I did it twice.

51:22

I did it fucking twice. I did it twice. You went, you

51:25

had a good time. It's funny shit. We fucking partyed our dick,

51:27

Bob. It was just about the chicken for you. It was just

51:29

about the fucking boudin. Boudin was a fucking bet. What's

51:31

boudin? Boudin is like a cased rice, uh,

51:33

like sausage situation, like a sausage, but with

51:36

heavy wind,

51:38

the rice real spicy and they smoke it and then you take it

51:40

and you kind of pinch it

51:45

out of the case. You suck it off. All these, all

51:47

these, everyone I've seen, I've seen a lot of people, I've

51:49

seen a lot of people, I've seen a lot of people, I've

51:51

seen a lot of people, I've seen a lot of people and

51:54

everyone I met in this thing was all cool

51:56

shit. No one said the n-word, but man. front

52:00

of you. There was it was it was definitely a few

52:02

times where I was like, man, this is borderline.

52:05

Yeah, yeah. What back round

52:07

two to make sure this

52:11

is my second outfit. I know the first time I

52:13

did it was a different outfit was a little more.

52:15

I still have that one. Definitely about

52:17

one. Yeah. And there's a mask you wear to like see

52:19

the mask on my face. No, there's a mask of a

52:21

mask on your face with the hood.

52:24

Talking bird. Find out what that's

52:28

called. That you

52:30

see some wild

52:32

outfit. This show got canceled,

52:34

dude. This is for Mardi Gras.

52:37

It's for Mardi Gras. Yeah. It's how

52:39

they celebrate Mardi Gras outside of Louisiana

52:42

outside of New Orleans. Because you're outside

52:44

of New Orleans. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. New

52:46

Orleans. Yeah. But yeah, they're going to be mad because

52:48

I know that this is part of their culture and

52:50

they're like, yo, that's not what that's about. But it's

52:52

like, it is no way out. From the outside looking

52:54

in. Also, they say the same thing. People say the

52:57

same thing about the Confederate flag. Like, yeah, that's what

52:59

it's about. Yeah, it's about pride. Well,

53:02

you know, they changed the name of Fort

53:04

Bragg. It is? Yeah.

53:06

To Fort Liberty. I

53:08

was just there wherever Fort Bragg is. I

53:10

did that show and everyone

53:13

wants to be called Fort Bragg. But Fort

53:16

Bragg, what's interesting is all these Confederate soldiers

53:18

weren't that good at being soldiers.

53:20

Yeah. Well, definitely they lost, but they were like,

53:22

they're like, they wouldn't even, it's like, uh, it's

53:24

like when you see like a guy from the

53:26

fucking twenties in the Hall of Fame in baseball

53:29

and you're like, yeah, they didn't have Latinos yet.

53:31

Yeah. It's like, so Fort Bragg was over this,

53:33

uh, the shit dick soldier that no

53:35

one fucking liked. He was like, he was actually,

53:38

he had a sour disposition. His

53:40

name's Brixton Bragg. Brixton Bragg. And he had

53:42

a sour disposition. It sounds like a gay

53:44

porn star. He had a horrible, he had

53:46

a horrible approach to war. He always went

53:48

frontal. Like he was a terrible fucking guy.

53:50

He was a worse, not a good

53:52

technician. One of the worst.

53:55

No one liked him and he's named, they named

53:57

him after for Bragg. Yeah. I love those guys.

53:59

Got things named. after them. And they

54:01

weren't all winners, you know? No, they

54:03

weren't. I know. The statues are

54:05

wild. I hadn't been to the South. I

54:08

grew up in Baltimore. If I went

54:11

anywhere, I was like New York. And then I visited,

54:13

we had family friends in South Carolina. And I was

54:15

just not really prepared for

54:17

how much Confederate shit

54:19

was around. Georgia, that's crazy. I

54:21

thought there'd be like, all right, whatever, one here

54:23

or there. But it's like South Carolina, it's like...

54:25

And I like Charleston, but it's like, you're

54:28

like, wow, these buildings are beautiful. Then

54:30

you start doing the math on who

54:32

built them, you know, and what conditions.

54:34

And then like the central market is

54:36

like, was a slave market. It

54:38

was like the cute little downtown market where you

54:40

like buy shit. It's like, slaves

54:43

were here and you didn't bulldoze this shit.

54:45

Bulldoze it and build it again. The vibes

54:47

are fucked. If somebody bought people here, I

54:49

don't want to buy fucking, I don't want

54:51

to buy like candy corn here. I don't

54:53

want to buy a fucking, I don't want

54:55

to buy Chachkes for my grandmother, the same

54:57

place you bought like a toddler. I don't

55:00

want that. But

55:02

these are the best apples in town. I'll

55:07

go get produce somewhere else. Stone Mountain. Do

55:09

you look up Stone Mountain, Georgia? I've never

55:11

seen that. Never seen that? This wild.

55:14

Stone Mountain, Georgia is like, it's very impressive

55:16

when you see it and then you're like,

55:18

oh, and then when you

55:21

learn, so

55:24

what that is, right? It's

55:27

like an etching into the mountain. Yeah, it

55:29

is an etching into the mountain, but then it's enormous.

55:33

Enormous. Yeah, it's fucking huge. But

55:35

then can you pull up

55:40

the history of what that is? I'm

55:42

going to guess it's not chill. It's

55:44

not chill. It's not chill. Let's

55:49

start, what's the vibe here?

55:51

What's this web? It's on Robert E.

55:53

Lee Boulevard. Usually

55:56

like if you drive down Martin Luther King Boulevard, you

55:59

know what to expect. If you

56:01

drive down Robert E. Lee Boulevard, you kind of get

56:03

noticed. It's the same. Go to... Jeff

56:06

Foxworthy should just do that Chris Rock

56:08

bit, but as for Rednecks, you

56:12

know, or if I could go down Robert E. Lee.

56:14

Okay, so it was purchased

56:16

by the state of Georgia as a

56:18

memorial to the Confederacy. Nice. So

56:21

it's... Oh, they opened it 100 years to the

56:23

day after Lincoln's assassination. They had the big celebration.

56:25

What are the odds? Do

56:28

you think they knew? The fucking wild move. It's a wild

56:30

move. It's a fucking wild move. A lot of that stuff

56:32

has little details like that. A lot of the Confederate statues and... Look

56:35

at the first drop down. What is so special about Stone

56:37

Mountain? It's a little bit of a It's

56:54

a natural park area. Yeah. Wow.

56:57

That is really... That's a...

56:59

That's a way to just make

57:01

it, you know, palatable. There's

57:03

one guy's job who works for

57:06

stone mountain.org and he's gotta clean the internet

57:08

every day. He's like, no, no, no, no,

57:10

no. Yeah. But can

57:12

you go to the like

57:14

the wiki of... What is it? Yeah. What

57:17

is this Stone Mountain controversy? Oh,

57:19

there we go. This is where the black nationalists marked too

57:22

with their machine guns and their assault

57:24

rifles. Like, ready for a

57:26

fight. Yeah. And there's something about the fact

57:28

that this is like very close

57:30

to Atlanta, which is like a

57:32

massively black city. What

57:34

is it? Big black metropolis in America. And then

57:36

they're like, hey, go check this out. Just in

57:39

case you guys... Okay, I'm gonna say

57:41

something very fucked up though. You get a little comfortable around here.

57:43

Is there a part of you, like, I remember one time and

57:45

I only know this because I texted these pictures to Tom. I'm

57:47

just... Before you finish, no. But go ahead.

57:51

One time I walked into a bathroom in

57:53

Northern California and they had old, old pre

57:56

civil rights

57:59

advertising. So it was like, try

58:01

this. And it was all like, uh,

58:04

Sambo's and like, I don't know, I hope it's in

58:06

the right name, but like, definitely not right. Like it

58:08

was all blackface. It was all blackface with like, and

58:10

it was like, it was like him with a, with

58:13

a, with a Pepsi. And yeah,

58:15

yeah, yeah. And

58:17

I was so fucking blown away by it. I've

58:19

never seen anything like that. But I started taking

58:21

pictures of all of them and texting the Tom

58:23

going like, do you believe what the fuck I'm

58:26

seeing? Right. There's a part of me that goes,

58:28

I know. Okay. Separate all the

58:30

hate. Separate the artist from the art. Just

58:33

be a person on vacation. Okay. If

58:35

you were going up the Stone Mountain and you

58:37

saw a segregated water fountain,

58:40

would you take a picture of it? When

58:42

I take a picture of it? Is there a party that's

58:44

like, shut the fuck up? Like to show the police or

58:46

what? When

58:52

I contacted the FBI,

58:54

they're using currently segregated

58:56

water fountain. I

58:58

saw, I saw a picture. So

59:00

by the way, the clan is a big fan

59:03

of Stone Mountain. Interesting. It's like, it's the fact

59:05

that it is a shrine and a massive shrine

59:07

to the Confederacy. You

59:13

know? Yeah. I

59:15

like got on a, on a ride on a hobby

59:17

horse one time and there was a sign above it

59:19

that said no fat chicks allowed. And

59:22

I fucking got so excited. You're not supposed to see

59:24

that. So I think that's what I get excited about

59:26

where I go, that's not supposed to happen. Yeah, that

59:28

part. Yeah, that does. It's like when fucking

59:45

dog, that was awesome. His

59:48

exact words were ain't nothing but a dog

59:50

fight. Yeah,

59:54

that was fucking awesome. I remember, I remember I

59:56

think they asked Clinton porters about gays in the,

59:58

on their football team. They're

1:00:00

breaking God's heart. And I remember

1:00:03

going like, I remember, I was like, what the

1:00:05

fuck? You don't have to say that. You don't

1:00:07

have to say that. There's something fun about that.

1:00:09

And I'm gonna say like, there's nothing fun about

1:00:11

segregation. But if I saw, if I

1:00:13

saw a segregated water fountain, I would

1:00:15

get like, shut the fuck up. That's

1:00:17

a little different than like a misogynistic

1:00:19

sign above a horse though. No fat

1:00:21

chick's allowed. Hey, fat chick, that's their

1:00:24

segregation. Yeah. That was their water

1:00:26

fountain. I wonder if

1:00:28

you can buy a segregated water fountain still. You

1:00:30

probably can. If you look into it. Guess what

1:00:32

you're getting for your birthday. A

1:00:36

white's only water fountain?

1:00:38

Thanks man. So wait, so wait, I got it in

1:00:41

the office. So wait, so I'm gonna tell you, you

1:00:43

got it. You can't use it. Yeah, yeah. You got

1:00:45

it, you got it, you got to edit this name

1:00:47

out. You got to edit his name out. I

1:00:49

got a fucking 12 inch

1:00:52

dildo on a placard that

1:00:55

said whites only on the

1:00:58

placard from What?

1:01:01

Really? And I,

1:01:03

I raffled it off at our daughter's school. How'd

1:01:06

that go? Was

1:01:10

it a mystery box? It was a mystery box. And I didn't know

1:01:12

what I said. I said, join the mystery box. I swear to God,

1:01:14

I swear to God. Do you know who had it before? You

1:01:17

got to edit all those names out. But because it's fucking horrific. And I, it was,

1:01:19

this is like 2000, probably 10. Yeah,

1:01:21

yeah. Way, way back then. It was a mystery box and I was

1:01:23

just do everything in the mystery box and someone got the mystery box

1:01:25

and they opened it. Yeah.

1:01:29

Oh, interesting. yeah.

1:02:00

I would never put my ass what something

1:02:02

like that you wouldn't so what would you? There

1:02:05

was like a like a something small

1:02:07

I Wouldn't mind trying

1:02:10

something really small that vibrated hard as fuck now. We're

1:02:12

talking like I wouldn't mind that it's gotta be long

1:02:14

Too I want to get in there What

1:02:16

have you had in there anything? like

1:02:20

No, my finger your your own Definitely

1:02:26

on my finger All

1:02:30

the way that's good big there a little

1:02:32

bit. Yeah, I was on coke one time and I pulled

1:02:34

a piece of shit out of my ass. Oh man I

1:02:36

had to ship my ride it and I was like trying to

1:02:39

shit I couldn't shit What you went for the c-section and run

1:02:41

up there and I pulled it out. I get the fuck out.

1:02:43

We are going to bed Right

1:02:50

we're about diet I Is

1:02:55

not caffeinated either right I like that's gonna have

1:02:57

some before bed. That's a big thing for me

1:02:59

That's the beauty of the A&W's your sugar root

1:03:02

beer. No caffeine. Yes, that's true. That's huge and

1:03:04

it fucking tastes like It's

1:03:06

the king is the king of root beers.

1:03:09

Yeah, okay died. So that was good. It's

1:03:11

like another Yeah, I

1:03:13

get one for me. I needed I was

1:03:16

tied one all last night. Hmm Did

1:03:18

you guys fucking store was insane last

1:03:21

night? Yeah, insane fucking should have gone. I don't

1:03:23

know why no, you know what I want this

1:03:25

is okay So we're going back to the other

1:03:27

thing. This is what I like about you guys

1:03:29

is that You

1:03:31

also don't chase the rabbit like last

1:03:33

night get done. Everyone goes to the party

1:03:36

It's like packed and Tom's like I'm out. I'm

1:03:38

going to bed and I was like

1:03:40

what the fuck I was like, I haven't even gone to the

1:03:42

post party yet. Yeah, like this is just the post post part

1:03:44

I want to go to post post post party And

1:03:47

so I went to the store and I should

1:03:49

have gone to bed I woke up this morning on I should have just gone

1:03:51

to bed. I feel like fucking shit The

1:03:55

thing is a moment you stop chasing it that

1:03:57

much because it is intrinsic to like there is

1:03:59

something about that you just love that action?

1:04:01

Love all of it. Is there something about it

1:04:03

where you're like, because for me it was like

1:04:05

so clearly, I would just go to

1:04:08

those things, yeah, they see my friends, but when I was younger

1:04:10

I would just be out to try and fuck. Oh,

1:04:12

I don't care about you. I know you don't at all, which

1:04:14

is something I can't even fathom. Really? Like

1:04:16

the fact that I would just be out, getting

1:04:18

fucked up to not try and get pussy is

1:04:21

kind of insane. Really? That's kind of

1:04:23

my North star in almost all decision making. And

1:04:25

that's why I want to like just be in a good

1:04:27

relationship because it's like, it sucks to just

1:04:29

be calm. And now I care a little less, which is

1:04:32

nice. Like I don't have to constantly, I'm

1:04:34

not as insecure about it as I used to be, where I

1:04:36

was like, oh, I have to. But like to be out all

1:04:38

night, with the exception

1:04:40

of the spare bros day, where I haven't seen my

1:04:42

boys in a while, and it's like, let's really get

1:04:44

after it once in a blue moon. But like to

1:04:46

just a married man with a beautiful

1:04:48

family that stays out till 4 a.m. more

1:04:51

than like once every couple, once

1:04:53

more than a couple times a year, I can't.

1:04:56

Come up to a year? That's what I'm saying.

1:04:58

I've done it four times this week. And

1:05:00

it's Monday. That's what I mean. It's kind of

1:05:02

wild. It's fucking, it's crazy. Do you think that ever slows down

1:05:04

or you just think you just love it too much? I

1:05:07

don't know. I've never

1:05:09

seen it. I've never seen it. I love it.

1:05:12

I love it so much. You do love it. You do

1:05:14

love it. I have a hard time saying no, because I

1:05:17

never know. It's like a lottery ticket scratch off. True. That

1:05:19

is it. You never know. Also like I've been

1:05:21

around, like even when we were hanging out at

1:05:24

the backstage before

1:05:27

we did the roast, when people

1:05:29

would arrive, they're like,

1:05:31

oh, people have arrived. And I'm

1:05:33

like, cool. He's like, you wanna

1:05:35

go say hi? Right, right, right. And then I

1:05:37

watched him, like he comes alive. Yeah. That's

1:05:40

socializing. I think it's pure real, like

1:05:42

just purely extrovert. Yeah, totally. Where it's

1:05:45

like, you know, and I think everybody thinks if

1:05:47

you talk for a living, you're

1:05:50

like that, but that is, because I've seen, because Bobby was like

1:05:52

that too when I would open for Bobby.

1:05:54

And I'm much more of a Bobby Kelly. I'm

1:05:56

much more of a like, let me get my head right for

1:05:58

the show type of guy. He would be,

1:06:00

we would go out, he'd be smoking cigars,

1:06:03

we'd be talking to fans. Real extra good

1:06:05

shit. We'd have dinner, we'd go to like

1:06:07

a big dinner right before the show

1:06:09

and I'm like, bro, I need you. Usually after too. Yeah.

1:06:12

Back then, obviously. Oh dude, me

1:06:14

and him. Oh I'm sorry. Circa 2013.

1:06:17

We were like, we were like, honestly

1:06:20

we might have been fatter than you or drunk.

1:06:23

You know what I mean? Like, which is tough

1:06:25

to pull off, bro. We might have been fucking,

1:06:27

we were crushing food in a

1:06:30

fucked up way. Yeah, you got real big. We

1:06:33

were fat, I mean, we were both so fucking

1:06:35

fat. It was crazy. What was the highest you

1:06:37

ever weighed? Probably

1:06:41

350 at the end of the tour. I

1:06:44

never actually saw that number, but I kind of

1:06:46

like. Because of this, you couldn't see past your

1:06:48

stomach. Yeah, my fucking fat stomach was too, I

1:06:50

could. It's hard when you have

1:06:52

to lean over. Having a shuck in your stomach to

1:06:54

look at the scale is tough. Yeah. That's

1:06:56

a tough zone to be in. I've been there. I've

1:06:59

been there. But I never saw that number, but

1:07:01

I like kind of cleaned it up before. You

1:07:03

know, you do, you give yourself two weeks to

1:07:06

make the scale, want to kill

1:07:08

yourself a little less. So I got to like, at the

1:07:10

end of this tour, dude, I was 341. So

1:07:13

you're not on tour, are you gonna not tour? No,

1:07:15

like. Oh you're taking time off, you're doing fully loaded though

1:07:17

in Baltimore. I'm popping out for, yeah, that's the only thing

1:07:19

I'm doing this summer. I'm taking the summer off, but I

1:07:21

was like, if you're coming through Baltimore, I gotta come. Fuck

1:07:23

yeah, thank you. You know what, we should, if you're looking

1:07:26

for a place to work out, my brother's gym is. Can

1:07:29

we bring the whole fully loaded pro? All

1:07:32

right, we're gonna do a fully loaded workout at your brother's

1:07:34

gym. Let's do that. Kind of fuck it all up. That'll

1:07:36

be awesome. It's really close to the bedroom. Like this is

1:07:38

a big gym dude. He's like a, he's got his own,

1:07:42

it's a smaller gym, but that's his job, he

1:07:44

runs it. And he's a trainer, he's like a strength

1:07:46

and conditioning coach. I think your brother, every time I do step ups.

1:07:50

Yeah dude. Cause your brother, his brother was

1:07:52

watching Stavi do step ups, and Stavi's step ups

1:07:54

were like, huh? You know, like he moves,

1:07:56

and he goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, use your

1:07:58

leg. He's obviously like, I am. No, you're

1:08:00

using your momentum. Yeah, every time I do step

1:08:03

ups, I think your brother they're fucking weird Yes,

1:08:05

those things just stick in your head. Yeah. Yeah

1:08:07

No, he's the bet and and I'm excited like

1:08:09

I was pumped to go work out with him

1:08:11

and I literally was too fat I had to

1:08:13

go to PT for like three months to start

1:08:15

working out. And so now back in

1:08:18

the summer I'm gonna just now in the summer

1:08:20

is gonna go crush it. Do you know work

1:08:22

out with him? Yeah. All right. Let's plan that

1:08:24

Yeah, absolutely. Dude. He would love to he'd be

1:08:26

he's gonna make his fucking year to hear this

1:08:29

Huge fan. He can't wait. He was he was like he

1:08:31

even was like dude He wants

1:08:33

to he's like he wants to meet people but

1:08:36

to know that everyone's gonna come work out. It's

1:08:38

gonna be fucking sick That's all honestly strength and

1:08:40

conditioning, baby. Yeah, and I was gonna and I

1:08:42

even wanted to run the five cows I talked

1:08:44

to my PT. He was like you could technically

1:08:46

do it and the exact phrase He said was

1:08:49

like you would be in shambles afterwards He was

1:08:51

like if I tried even a slow running pace

1:08:53

for three miles, so I'll be strong There's nothing

1:08:55

by the way a quick walk and a job

1:08:57

a jogs more Taxing on the body

1:08:59

than a walk at 4.0 is you can jog

1:09:02

that and it'll hurt But you can also walk

1:09:04

at 4.0 and it doesn't hurt as much. Yeah.

1:09:07

Yeah, we're gonna have a fucking blast tomorrow I'm pumped gonna be

1:09:09

fun Thank you for coming. Of

1:09:11

course Yeah,

1:09:14

and huge shout out to a Mw

1:09:16

zero sugar If we

1:09:18

don't get some fucking we've all agreed come on.

1:09:20

I think they come up with black pepper. I'm

1:09:22

trying so hard But

1:09:25

Pepsi just making a clear can and then

1:09:28

you can just go you know, this is for And

1:09:33

user you know, they should do is segregated

1:09:35

water pounce one for whites only comes out

1:09:37

coke and for black arts