Episode Transcript
Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.
Use Ctrl + F to search
0:00
Hundred. Percent. Listen,
0:05
our regular co host has some
0:08
digestive issues. He wanting some of
0:10
the best treatment available and we
0:12
have. The surgery. goes well. We
0:14
have all the treatments go well
0:16
and they don't know be recovered.
0:19
Sitting in his place is somebody
0:21
marginally smarter. Bird Bros A The
0:23
best sitting in today is John
0:25
Stuart. What's up with that man?
0:27
Know bird? Is he okay? I
0:30
think so. Yeah, All. That's
0:32
not in any way giving me confidence that
0:34
he's well you know I know yet his
0:36
his nerve stuff has taken care of and
0:38
some as his heart stop. This is new,
0:40
this is digest of stuff and his liver
0:42
is working fully well again so that's great.
0:46
It's either Frankenstein Monster where they they
0:48
put together a thought, his cat all
0:50
of stuff or this is today is
0:52
is one bear, no cave, One bear
0:54
no cave or one. One.
0:56
Do with one June. Okay, one one
0:58
bear, one Gts. Speaking of Israel, Palestine
1:01
saw that for us. I'm so glad
1:03
you asked me that time. Know you
1:05
who and where the plan? Ah
1:09
have you ever do do you taught
1:11
you know talk? I've never seen it,
1:13
our bosses, politics or dog, just in
1:16
general. You tell the best stories
1:18
I just of I can like find a
1:20
way in or guy member in twenty. I
1:22
was touring and like during the the election
1:24
cycle right of last like you know something
1:27
will find his way into the news where
1:29
you go like oh there's the angle for
1:31
me on this right I then I can
1:33
move in on that but I don't go
1:36
like here's here's my. Position.
1:38
On this because I always feel like met
1:40
people ask me. Actually I get as sometimes
1:42
you don't have to go. what's your dream.
1:44
Job. Yeah or the or like
1:47
when. Daily. Show has
1:49
you know, We're. Going to
1:51
hire do has we'll go would you love
1:53
that are when I go No another lie
1:55
and I choi said i don't you I
1:57
say because I go there's there's just things.
2:00
As you done as a while you're there
2:02
are people who are you realize that people
2:04
good for that job you like There's I
2:06
can name ten people Star Go can do
2:08
that. Well if men I'm like if you
2:10
go as fast as a matter how much
2:13
longer I could bang out this one night
2:15
a weird kill him at. I mean are
2:17
you having fun? Oh yeah no it's it's
2:19
ball. As if it was like to be
2:21
back to Missouri with the first time though.
2:23
like super weird. Super weird. Yeah because it
2:25
was a match and like it was like
2:28
a flash forward. Have you ever seen those
2:30
means were like a group of friends will
2:32
take a picture and then the like get
2:34
together again. Thirty years later? Yes, take the
2:36
exact exact yes Yes I've been gone for
2:38
like nine years. Yeah, like the whole day
2:41
a lot of people die so that I
2:43
worked with are still there there. So it
2:45
really was old home like like. Really?
2:48
Like. A Love those guys and and
2:50
we have a great time together or haven't told
2:52
of on by a scrap of get real excited.
2:55
For. Can put the suit on that the make
2:57
a buck. Sat down and the dusting. Time.
2:59
Or comes up looking the monitor and I was like.
3:02
Oh that's that picture that it
3:05
does is the exact picture. yeah,
3:07
but ten years later, which is
3:09
jarring sure, because. I. Don't
3:12
know if you know the process
3:14
of erosion. Easy hydration would it
3:16
has. it has changed my visits.
3:18
Ah ha ha. So that part
3:20
was. Was. Jarring. It's.
3:23
You But you know, It. Really did feel
3:25
a little bit like that. Albert Brooks, you
3:27
know, descending your life city? Sit down ago
3:29
in my life? Really? Yeah, Blue Net a
3:31
great you had exceeds that spoke about that
3:33
when we did those gigs about. Oh yeah,
3:36
I'm. Older. Yes, Yeah, That's
3:38
what happens. Yeah, yeah. Somebody.
3:40
Said to me once it was doing an interview. And
3:43
he was Buddy apps. And.
3:45
Are beset an interview. As
3:47
time passed you by. An
3:49
and I go. Yeah.
3:53
I think that's. Seat at times job
3:55
the all the time it's like is.
3:57
it doesn't is not what it does
4:00
it passes us by. Yeah. These younger
4:02
people with tauter skin, they rise up.
4:04
We just encourage somebody in our staff
4:07
and who just turned 28,
4:09
we were like, take nudes this year.
4:12
Like, you don't understand, you're not going
4:14
to regret it. And if
4:16
you don't, if you don't want to go full
4:18
penthouse, 28 might be too late. I mean,
4:20
it's like, 25, 24. Dude, I shower with my clothes on.
4:26
It's like, it's gotten that, it's gotten
4:29
that bad. Yeah, it's, I mean, it
4:31
all goes, we're all, we're dying. Yes,
4:33
that is, that is correct. But you're
4:36
not like, I hit that point
4:38
where, like, I still have
4:41
a couple of milestones. Like, I think 65 is a
4:43
milestone. I think in terms of social
4:45
security, maybe 68. But like, I'm
4:48
in my 60s. Like, there's no, I can
4:50
no longer even, you're holding up well, though,
4:52
man. Oh, well, I'm absolute
4:55
physical specimen. I mean, but you
4:57
look good. That's very kind.
4:59
Like, I remember, also, like, genetics
5:01
play a role, obviously, on mine.
5:06
Taking care of the family. I'd like to
5:08
show I'll show you mine. Yeah, they're like,
5:10
I remember I was like, but you're in
5:12
the best shape you've been in your life.
5:15
That's true. That's the one advantage of getting
5:17
really, really fat when you're young. You
5:20
can really do a
5:22
big self correct thing. You're really gross when you're
5:24
right. And then I that's when to do it.
5:26
That's when to do it. I see friends from high
5:28
school. I'm like, Oh, no, you're fat. You
5:31
were how the tables have turned my friend.
5:33
You actually you were like this skinny little
5:35
guy. And now you really have let go.
5:37
It's kind of no I could tell once you started
5:39
giving out specs on gym equipment, I was like, Oh,
5:42
Tom's not fucking around now man. I was like, Yeah,
5:44
I'm on the phone. And this guy brought me the
5:46
XG 90. I tried it out for a couple days,
5:48
but the plates, they weren't the right plates. I think
5:50
that's the only way I'm going to get through the
5:52
next 15 years, right being how
5:54
old are you now? What's the I just turned
5:57
45. Oh, Oh,
6:00
Tom. That's good, it's my
6:02
good decade. So good, 45 is,
6:04
you're at the peak of
6:07
your proud, you've got 10 years
6:10
of pure brain
6:12
function and physical specimen.
6:15
Tell me. Do you wanna,
6:17
I could ask you right now to go outside and
6:19
shovel snow and you can handle it no problem. I
6:22
think so. You would bang it out, come back in
6:24
the house, toast yourself up by the fire, have sex,
6:27
and then still, you're at the peak, 45. 45's
6:30
good, right? And 45, people forget, I
6:34
don't know if you remember the movie, Cacun. I
6:36
think Wilford Brimley was 45 in that
6:38
movie. Seriously? Yeah, the ages of
6:41
people. It's completely changed. Completely changed.
6:43
You've seen that ad, right, from
6:45
the, it's an old
6:48
ad from the 60s of, it
6:50
has eight or nine women and it's like these women
6:52
are all 40. No,
6:55
47. Right. I
6:58
mean, some- Looks like the Golden Girls. Some of them
7:00
look 75. Wow, yeah, it's a
7:02
totally different world. It's a different world. They
7:04
actually, there's a few that you go, okay,
7:06
that looks, she looks 47 by
7:08
today's standards. Because everything
7:10
has evolved with lifestyle
7:13
and care. Some of them look
7:16
so much older. You can't believe it. And it's
7:18
like, they're not making a joke, they're just like-
7:20
It's almost like cigarette smoke
7:23
is a carcinogen. They
7:25
were ensconced and I can remember, like
7:29
in the 60s and 70s, there
7:33
was nowhere you could go that didn't
7:35
just smell of smoke, including doctor's offices.
7:37
Everywhere. You would go in for a
7:39
checkup with the pediatrician, he'd be like,
7:41
how you feeling today, Johnny? Things are
7:43
good? The testicles drop? Everything,
7:45
you know? And he'd be smoking. I
7:48
mean, I remember I still, when I would visit, my mom's
7:50
from Peru, we would go, the
7:52
flight, it was like, row
7:55
20 back was smoking, the
7:57
row. Was I gonna get up to 19? I
8:00
mean, how could it get up
8:02
there? You're moving this direction. Clouds. I
8:04
mean, so much. And I was on those flights. I was
8:06
like, oh yeah, this is, and you think it was normal. You
8:09
just like, did you ever get on those planes
8:11
like in the 2000s that
8:14
still had the ashtray in
8:16
the arm? Like the armrest would go down and pop it
8:18
open. Pop it open, yeah. That ashtray would be there and
8:20
you'd be like, this is, yeah,
8:23
and they still make that
8:25
announcement. No smoking. Now they go no.
8:27
That's only for Dixon, James Dixon. That's only to
8:29
keep him from. I
8:32
think they use his name now in the announcement.
8:34
They do, they do. On every flight. If James
8:36
Dixon is on this flight, please do not smoke
8:38
during the flight. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
8:40
Yeah, that's a lot, man. That's a lot. Yeah,
8:43
I mean, I don't know. It is so
8:45
cool. I was just in Italy. Right. Were
8:48
you playing? No, I was just hanging for
8:50
a few. I know, nice. Sounds good. Having
8:52
a nice. Have you taken
8:54
vacations like that or breaks like that? No, it was in
8:56
the, I mean, it was in the middle of all this.
8:59
Just the wife left the kids with food on the
9:01
ground. At the house. Oh my God, that's so nice.
9:03
It was real quick. As long as there's running water
9:05
in the house, like they're fine. They're fine. They
9:08
can talk, you know, they can figure stuff
9:10
out. Right. But that was.
9:12
The air conditioning's on, probably. Probably, yeah. I mean, we leave
9:14
it, you know, not too cool. I don't want to waste
9:16
energy, but. Oh. Is
9:19
that the first vacation like for you and the wife to get
9:22
away for a little bit? We did, we took that. Because she's
9:24
on the road too. Like, that's gotta be hard. Yeah,
9:26
it's very tough. It's very tough. And
9:29
we've signed up for a lot. But this
9:32
is a really busy month and then taking
9:35
a good amount of time down over summer.
9:38
Oh good. Is that when you're gonna be doing
9:40
the writing for? So the writing starts in like
9:42
a week or so. And then we
9:44
have a break. So we have, I'm gonna. And Netflix
9:46
now with the new WJ contract, I think they give
9:48
you at least three days to write. How many episodes?
9:50
Six. So yeah, they give you three days. Oh cool. You
9:53
get a half a day now. Yeah. For each
9:55
episode. Well, AI's doing a lot of the.
9:57
Heavy lifting. We
10:02
were in Rome, but
10:04
we're going back to Northern Italy
10:07
for some of the summer. And
10:09
then we'll spend some of the summer in LA
10:11
too. And this time when you
10:13
go back to Italy, will you bring the voice? How
10:17
old are they? Five
10:19
and eight. That's it. But
10:22
five and eight is perfect, man, because they will
10:24
actually remember this. This is
10:26
something that they will clock.
10:29
And the magic of that is going to be... And
10:31
five and eight are such good. It's fun. They're
10:34
really fun dudes. My
10:38
five-year-old is so reactive. He
10:41
hits the table at the fucking table. Whoa,
10:45
he goes fucking table? Yeah, he does. And
10:47
whenever I'm like, hey, where do you think
10:49
he gets that from? Disney. Those
10:51
are Disney shows. He is you. No. She's
10:55
like, you have explosive reactions to things. And I'm like,
10:57
yeah, OK. But oh,
11:00
no. Yeah. The other day he
11:02
goes like that. And I was like, what?
11:04
He goes, you're a shithead. I
11:14
go, what? He goes, my brother's a moron. Mom's
11:17
a shitbag and I'm an asshole. And
11:20
I go, what? And then he
11:22
started to repeat it. He goes, shithead, moron,
11:24
shitbag, asshole. I'm like, bro.
11:26
And he was just like he was in like he
11:28
just stumbled on a discovery. You know,
11:31
it was like what I like about that
11:33
is it did seem like an epiphany. Yeah.
11:35
Like prior to that, he might have thought
11:37
dad's a scholar. My
11:40
brother is a compassionate
11:42
and interesting playmate and
11:45
mom is a saint. But no, wait, wait,
11:47
no, wait. Hold on. I've got something here.
11:50
Shithead. Moron. And
11:53
he really, he really reacts to like that's
11:55
a mantra though. Is that now is he
11:57
keeping on that? Is that he's saying he's
11:59
he didn't. it wrong once after you said
12:01
it for the rest of the night and
12:03
I was like dude you gotta stop talking
12:05
like this. Bonjour
12:07
and all. The best way to learn a
12:09
language? Immersion. Living where the language is spoken
12:12
and using it every day. But if that's
12:14
not in the cards this year you can
12:16
still learn a language the second best way
12:18
and that's with Babbel. Be a better you
12:20
in 2024 with Babbel, the science
12:23
backed language learning app that actually works.
12:25
Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private
12:27
tutors or waste hours on apps that
12:30
don't really help you speak the language.
12:32
Babbel's quick 10 minute lessons are handcrafted
12:34
by over 200 language experts to help
12:36
you start speaking a new language in
12:38
as little as three weeks. Babbel's tips
12:40
and tools are approachable, accessible, rooted
12:43
in real life situations and delivered with
12:45
conversation based teaching so you're ready to
12:47
practice what you've learned in the real
12:50
world. One of my favorite aspects of
12:52
using Babbel is that they make
12:55
you spell. So that is
12:57
a really important thing. You think you've grasped
12:59
a word but when you're forced to spell
13:01
it out you really dial in and remember
13:03
how that word is spelled and that you
13:05
retain it better. Here's a special limited time
13:07
deal for our listeners. Right now get up
13:09
to 60% off your
13:11
Babbel subscription but only for
13:13
our listeners at babel.com/bears. Call
13:16
now at 60% off
13:19
at babel.com/bears spelled babbel.com/
13:22
bears. Rules and restrictions may apply. This
13:24
show is sponsored by BetterHelp. When I look at
13:26
my year I look at what I've accomplished and
13:28
I look at what I'm slacking on. I
13:32
write that down to talk about in therapy and
13:34
kind of help guide me in the right direction.
13:36
I do a thing called a happiness journal and
13:38
I quantify the things that make me happy and
13:40
oddly enough moderation makes me very happy when I'm
13:42
eating right and I'm working out and I'm not
13:44
drinking too much. Listen, when life goes
13:46
so fast it's important to take a moment to celebrate
13:48
your wins and make adjustments for the rest of the
13:51
year. Therapy can help you take
13:53
stock of your progress and set achievable goals
13:55
for the next six months. We
13:57
all want to make those achievable goals. I have my achievable goals right now. to
14:00
get below 220 and I'm
14:02
doing that talking through it with therapy with
14:04
my therapist. Listen, if you're thinking
14:06
about starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely
14:08
online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to
14:10
your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and
14:13
get matched with a licensed therapist and you can
14:15
switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.
14:18
Take a moment. Visit betterhelp.com/bears today
14:20
to get 10% off
14:22
your first month. That's
14:25
BetterHelp, help.com/bears. We
14:27
are this close to crowning an NBA
14:29
champ and with the action heating up
14:31
on the court, it's even hotter at
14:34
DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner
14:36
of the NBA. There's only so many
14:38
games left and DraftKings Sportsbook has you
14:40
covered with same-game parlays, live
14:42
betting, odds boosts, and so
14:44
much more. Don't miss out
14:46
or you'll have to wait until next NBA
14:48
season to place your bets. It's super easy
14:51
for first-timers to get started. Try betting on
14:53
something simple like picking a team to win.
14:55
Go to the DraftKings Sportsbook app, select
14:58
your squad, and place your first bet.
15:00
It's that simple. It was probably the
15:02
first time in years where I've been
15:04
super excited about how exciting the NBA
15:07
is. This postseason has been electric and
15:09
I'm super excited to get involved with
15:11
this. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app
15:13
now and use the code BEARS.
15:15
That's code BEARS for new customers to
15:18
get a no sweat bet up to
15:20
$1,500 if your first bet
15:22
doesn't hit. See on DraftKings, the
15:24
crown is yours. And
15:53
I'll see you next time. slash
16:00
b-ball for eligibility wagering and deposit
16:02
restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources
16:06
but Yeah, you know you hate
16:08
he's the one who like the eight-year-old, you know,
16:10
you cuz you have kids you're like One
16:13
of them will be like so like he's
16:15
so polite. He's really actually listens if I
16:17
go that's enough You know, you got to
16:19
get in bed. He really is like, okay.
16:21
Yeah, and he gets him and the five-year-old
16:23
He's just he just resists so
16:25
hard and I was like telling I was
16:27
like get in bed Get in bed get and
16:29
it was just repeat repeat repeat and I was like,
16:31
you know what tomorrow Y'all
16:34
can have any treats. Y'all can be able to watch it and
16:36
he goes you fuck
16:42
And I start to like he goes and then
16:44
I've never heard this combination of words he goes
16:46
you nervous bitch And
16:51
I had to grab my mouth, you know I Like
16:56
I've never anybody call somebody
16:58
a bitch But
17:00
it made me laugh and I just was
17:02
like get in bed now and I couldn't
17:04
how do you and you can't point out
17:06
Too funny and I hear him in his
17:08
face like nervous bitch When are you going
17:11
to be called into school for that meeting
17:13
with the teacher where she says to you?
17:16
Your son called me a nervous And
17:18
and where did he get that and you
17:20
have to go I don't know I'm just
17:22
a shithead I'm just I'm telling and she
17:24
is a fucking shit fucking shit bag And
17:27
I know you're not gonna ask my brother
17:29
that is a moron. He's just a little
17:31
asshole. Exactly What's amazing to me is I've
17:33
gone in I was like how's his language
17:35
with like how's cursing and they're like, excuse
17:38
me They're like he's the
17:40
most well-behaved Which is actually a
17:42
good sign because it it tells you that
17:44
your kid knows that in a certain Setting
17:47
they have to behave a certain way. So
17:49
he feels comfortable enough to call me a
17:51
fuck Yeah at home, but he knows that
17:54
in school or in public. He's like you
17:56
don't address other people. I'm sure knowing that Makes
17:59
you less of a nervous bit. Yeah, it does. More
18:02
confident bit. A more relaxed bitch
18:04
for sure. Yeah. They really
18:06
do. I always found with
18:08
the kids, some of
18:11
it is anxiety when they're not with
18:13
you. They
18:15
trust you completely. You'll
18:17
protect them. You're the guy, but
18:19
if not, they know that
18:22
person is generally the size of my father, maybe
18:24
a little smaller, maybe a little bigger, whatever. If
18:27
I ingratiate myself to that person,
18:30
I'm safe in this environment of hooligans
18:32
because I'm sure he's in with hooligans.
18:34
For sure. For sure. Yes.
18:37
And yeah, it's a whole different. When did he kick
18:39
in with the profanity? At
18:41
what age? Four. Really?
18:44
Yeah. And the funny thing was, as you
18:46
know more than I do, these things, if
18:49
you think your kid is this, you're
18:51
like, oh, I remember when he had
18:53
two, you're expecting terrible two. His
18:56
kid's just like a little angel. He
18:58
was just like, oh, hi. Just
19:01
a sweet kid. And then
19:03
when he was turning from three to four, he
19:06
just got all fired up, really
19:08
fired up about stuff. And we
19:10
were like, oh, this guy is not. And he started to get
19:12
a little more dramatic, a little more
19:15
performative with his feelings.
19:18
And then we're like, oh, okay. So it's always
19:20
evolved. He's trying shit out. He's trying shit out.
19:23
I wonder too if it's,
19:25
some of it can be if the older brother
19:28
is kind of like his
19:30
path to praise is this and maybe
19:32
your guy thinks like, I
19:35
don't think I'm going to be able to,
19:37
my brother was really smart.
19:39
Like was just known in school, like used
19:41
words I can remember being in like, I think
19:44
we're in a student council meeting and like I was in
19:46
fourth grade. He was in like sixth grade and he was
19:48
like, hypothetically in the whole class was like, what the fuck
19:50
just happened? What? Yeah. That
19:53
wasn't going to be. And I wonder if he's
19:55
thinking maybe that lane is taken, but you know,
19:57
it's not profane. Yeah,
20:00
that's I'm just gonna go out hard
20:02
riding. That's my lane because he knows it gets react
20:04
The kids are all about reaction and not yeah, and
20:07
he knows your comics He believes too that
20:09
his older brother has special powers because he's
20:11
convinced him So he'll be like he's like
20:13
if you don't give me this back Ellis
20:16
will use powers on you and you're like
20:19
and you but you see that he's sincere, you know
20:21
I'm like they believe in magic.
20:24
They believe in although the eight-year-olds on that cusp
20:26
I know I do you do like when you're
20:28
doing holidays and shit. Do you still do like
20:30
the Like Tracy my
20:32
wife would love to do around Christmas like
20:35
there were reindeer tracks in the
20:37
house and like all that shit and they Whole
20:41
hog believe in for somebody who didn't grow up with
20:43
that. Yeah, I was like I get it Yeah, yeah,
20:45
you get it. This is cuz it's awesome. You see
20:47
the wonder. Yeah the Holy
20:50
shit, like when they see the milk
20:52
and cookies and like Santa, you
20:55
know, like yeah Yeah, and the elf
20:57
on the shelf. Yeah, he is at the age
20:59
though when he starts to like ask logistical questions,
21:01
you know He's like, well, how come if
21:03
the chimney had the fire and you're like, hey, how
21:05
about you stop asking some? Just
21:09
enjoy it, you know Yeah,
21:14
he's like doors locked I'm like, yeah, I know
21:16
he'd fucking like magic dude has a key to
21:18
the house What do you think? Yeah, it
21:20
is interesting because they're a Lot
21:23
of times their perceptions won't quite match
21:25
up with they're not like I can remember when
21:29
Maggie Understood
21:31
the mechanics of math but
21:34
not the context. Mm-hmm So
21:36
she would be like so
21:39
that means when I'm 60, you'll be 102 and I'll
21:41
be like, yep and Won't
21:44
we have fun? Yeah, you know
21:46
cuz they don't yeah. Yeah, they're not understanding
21:48
but they got the logistics down We just
21:50
had a death that starts to affect. I
21:53
remember too that used to be like, oh
21:55
when you're a kid You're like my parents
21:57
gonna die. Yeah, it's just happened where
21:59
you just had a of dead and they know it?
22:01
No, they had, it just occurred to him
22:04
like, because when you said that, I remembered
22:06
he, his mom, this is an eight year old
22:08
or five year old? Five year old. They were both in the same room, but
22:10
the five year old, his
22:12
mom left a sweater for him because she was
22:14
going to be gone. So he's like,
22:17
he put the sweater on. He's like, this is
22:19
mom's sweater. He's like, it's the only one in the
22:21
world. And he goes, he looks at me, he goes,
22:24
when she dies, it'll be mine. And I'm
22:26
like, I go, yeah. And
22:28
then he goes, that's not even grief. That's more like,
22:30
but then he goes, he goes,
22:33
I don't want mom to die. And I go,
22:35
oh, she's not gonna. And then he starts crying. He's
22:38
like, he's like, I don't want her to
22:40
die. And I go, buddy, it's a long
22:42
way off. Right. And then his brother's
22:44
like, mom is going to live
22:46
at least another probably 35 to 40 years.
22:48
And I was like, yeah, that's pretty accurate.
22:51
And then he goes, I just don't want
22:53
mom to die. And my older son goes,
22:55
I don't want mom or dad
22:57
to die. And then the
22:59
younger one goes, yeah, mom. I
23:03
was like, okay. Like he
23:05
clearly has his favorite here.
23:07
He just doesn't want mom
23:09
to die. That's cool. Do get like, you'll get one
23:12
of them. Like my son with me was like, one
23:15
day I will defeat you. Yeah.
23:17
Oh, really? You think you can mop the floor?
23:19
We used to go to jujitsu together. Yeah. And
23:21
I'd roll them around. And you know, and
23:23
all I was doing was old man weight. Like I
23:25
would just lay on him with old man weight. Just
23:27
hold on. He would just be like one day. I'm
23:29
gonna fuck you. And now he is like, he's like,
23:32
really? Yeah. You fucked me up easy. Yeah. Like I
23:34
think I lost arm wrestling. They were like 15. And
23:36
then it was over. Yeah.
23:38
And I kept telling him, I go, dude, it's
23:40
gonna happen. Yeah. Not gonna feel as good as
23:42
you think it's gonna feel. Because here's what's gonna
23:44
happen. You're gonna defeat me. And then you're gonna,
23:46
something's gonna, you're gonna have
23:48
a realization about the man, about
23:50
the arc. The cycle
23:52
of life and everything. That's exactly right.
23:55
But I like the idea though, that
23:57
he understood inheritance more than he understood.
24:00
Yeah, he understood that all
24:02
this one day will
24:04
be mine. Yes. Yeah, I will own
24:06
it I will own all this it's
24:08
aren't the conversations are fucking fantastic You
24:11
have that cuz they're like your kids are older.
24:13
Yeah, so they must they
24:15
must I mean they have a concept of obviously The
24:17
fact that their dad is successful Are
24:20
they like hey, this is gonna be pretty sweet. Like when do you
24:22
think you're gonna kick it? They
24:25
live more in it so they also have the
24:27
concept though that dad is controversial So
24:30
they also know like I'll
24:32
get oh, they're tearing you up
24:34
on such a right Yeah,
24:37
they they get that it's
24:39
a they've seen some really good things Yeah, and
24:41
they've also seen like me get the shit kicked
24:43
out of me. Like I remember when I did
24:45
I directed Irresistible
24:48
the movie and wrote it and
24:51
like it came out during the pandemic. So
24:53
we're all like Together
24:55
so everything we experience in that we
24:57
became like the Borg like just a
25:00
pod that moved around that house Sure,
25:02
and when it came out you
25:04
know we'd run the movie through previews and like
25:06
other shit and like everybody's feeling pretty good and then
25:09
it came out and like I Got
25:11
the shit kicked out of me Like some
25:13
of those reviews are like there were the
25:15
kind of reviews that like other Reviewers would
25:17
call that reviewer and be like dude that
25:19
was fucking amazing, you know, I'm like really
25:21
fucking You crushed that motherfucker like
25:23
that kind of stuff and My
25:26
family was there and like I could tell my kids
25:28
were like do we have to
25:30
move right? Like right and I kept telling
25:32
them like guys, this is just I'm
25:35
in a dumb business Like yeah, imagine at
25:37
school you make artwork right and then everybody
25:39
goes like that's really pretty So
25:42
imagine you live in a world where you make the artwork and
25:44
then everybody's allowed to go like that fucking sucks That's
25:46
a terrible. I don't want that in
25:48
my house. So that really must have changed Perspective
25:51
from them on how like how some
25:54
of this works like especially yeah because
25:56
you're well-known and controversial
25:58
or polarizing the polarizing. I'll go with
26:01
that. Do they get, they
26:04
must have an understanding of, you know how
26:06
people get so into comments,
26:08
right? Oh, look at how it's noise. Like
26:10
they, after a while, the first time you
26:13
read comments that are crazy, you go like,
26:15
oh my God, right? Like it affects you.
26:17
But they also probably are now having lived
26:19
with someone who has comments about them
26:21
kind of go like, oh yeah, this is just
26:23
kind of noise, right? Like they- I think their
26:25
brains are also, and I think you'll probably find
26:28
this with your kids, like for us, this
26:30
is a novel form of communication.
26:32
So our brains are dealing
26:35
with it as technology.
26:37
It's not native. Like
26:39
there's native functioning. It's sort of like when,
26:41
if you think about like your grandparents, when
26:43
they got on a plane, they were like,
26:45
I'm in a tube. Yeah. And
26:47
we're going, what? Yeah. Like to them,
26:50
it's a spaceship, right? Like we're going to
26:52
go on a plane today. Yeah. Doo doo
26:54
doo doo. Yeah. So I do think there's
26:56
probably something in their brain that
26:59
allows them to filter the
27:01
noise that you feel.
27:03
Like for me, it's
27:06
not, you know, we grew up in standup
27:08
clogs, like you'd perform and there'd
27:10
always be like a table or two that might've
27:12
thought you sucked and like you clocked them. Sure. But
27:15
then you left. Right. This
27:17
technology means like you ride home with them in
27:19
the cab and like the whole time they tell
27:21
you what was wrong with you and your act.
27:24
So I think for them,
27:28
as long as I model sort of
27:31
being fine, I think it
27:33
allows them to. So it's based a lot on
27:35
you then, right? Like. I would
27:37
think to some extent, don't you think your kids would,
27:39
they're pretty intuitive. Very. About
27:43
what you're really, what's truly urgent or
27:45
catastrophic and what's not. And what's going
27:47
on with you too. Yeah. They
27:50
pick up on you and your vibrations. And I
27:52
also try to explain to them, like
27:55
you're seeing a snapshot of
27:57
success that does in no.
28:00
way justice to the
28:02
shit I ate for many, many years that
28:05
you weren't a part of. Living
28:08
in conditions and doing things that
28:10
you would find unacceptable in the
28:12
world that you inhabit.
28:14
Yeah, that's funny. They don't get it.
28:17
They can't. No. So,
28:19
seeing me get the shit kicked out
28:21
of me a little bit, I think
28:24
is helpful. A,
28:26
because they see that it
28:30
doesn't deter moving
28:34
forward and making new things. And
28:36
I just try and explain to them, look man, I make
28:39
things. And once I make it,
28:41
it's kind of out of my control. And some
28:43
people think it's great, and you'll see that too.
28:46
And that's almost more uncomfortable. It's
28:48
more uncomfortable for me if someone comes up
28:50
and gives me the, I love
28:53
you, rather than the
28:56
comments of that sucked. Yeah.
28:59
A lot of life is unpredictable, but
29:02
a good life insurance plan gives
29:04
your family a financial safety net
29:06
to protect against some of the
29:08
unknowns. Policy Genius is the country's
29:10
leading online insurance marketplace. It
29:12
makes choosing the right policy for your family
29:14
easy and quick. With Policy Genius, you can
29:16
find life insurance policies that start at just
29:18
$292 per year for
29:22
$1 million of coverage. Some
29:25
options are 100% online and
29:27
let you avoid those unnecessary medical exams.
29:30
Trust me, that is the go-to move. If
29:32
you can get out of those medical exams,
29:34
there's just a pain in the ass. I'm
29:36
telling you right now, this is a no-brainer.
29:39
Policy Genius helps you compare your options from
29:41
the top companies, and their team of licensed
29:43
experts is on hand to help you talk
29:45
through it step by step. And Policy Genius
29:47
has no incentive to recommend one insurer over
29:49
another, so you can trust their guidance. You
29:52
can find peace of mind by finding the
29:54
right life insurance with Policy
29:56
Genius. Head to policygenius.com/bears or click the
29:58
link in the description. to get
30:00
your free life insurance quotes and see
30:03
how much you could
30:05
save. That's policygenius.com/bearers. Everyday
30:30
in Dorfman. Let's run
30:32
there. Head to brooksrunning.com to learn
30:34
more. Do
30:36
you ever, do people feel comfortable enough telling
30:38
you that? Do people ever ever. People feel
30:40
very comfortable with me. With you. Yeah. I
30:43
was going to say, cause you're generally with
30:45
the, also with the negative. Really?
30:47
Oh yeah. I'll get that even in front of my kids.
30:50
Hey man. I just want to let you know, like I
30:52
don't agree with anything that you say. Like I
30:55
think most of it is just fucking stupid, but
30:57
uh, I think you do
30:59
fit a 9 11. Guys. Yeah. That was real good. Really?
31:01
Oh yeah. I'll get, I'll get a lot of, a lot
31:03
of conversations cause I live in kind of MAGA country. My
31:06
wife and I usually play a game. We'll go like
31:08
to the, we'll be going to the store and we
31:10
play a Trump or insurrectionist. So
31:12
where we try and delineate. Yeah. That guy's going
31:14
to vote for Trump, but he's doing it for tax purposes. Oh
31:17
right. And then this guy, yeah, he's
31:19
wearing the horns and he's going in with
31:21
the chest painted. Sure. Um, but
31:25
so all their friends and a lot of
31:27
the friends, families are like very conservative. Sure.
31:30
So they got
31:32
very used to comments.
31:35
Like their, their friends and their friends parents will
31:38
say to them like, uh,
31:40
you know, you're not going to turn my kid into
31:42
that, right? Or like, you know, they'll talk a lot
31:44
of that stuff. It's a lot of fun. That's, that's, that's
31:47
really comfortable. And you have, yeah, it
31:49
sounds like you have to develop like a
31:52
giggle for it, right? Sure. Yeah.
31:54
Don't worry. Yep. I get a
31:57
lot of that. Like, Hey man, I just want to let you know,
31:59
like, really is almost like a preamble
32:01
to meeting me down there is always,
32:04
you and I don't agree on everything. You
32:06
and I don't agree on a lot, but
32:10
sometimes you make me think, or
32:12
something like that, or you and I don't
32:14
agree on everything, but I will let you shop here. Cool.
32:17
We will take your money. That's
32:19
funny that like, that actually feels, I
32:21
mean, it's hilarious that somebody does the preamble
32:24
to, but
32:26
also, there's at least a
32:28
dialogue, right? So many people don't engage
32:30
in civil dialogue. I feel like it's
32:32
somewhat civil, right? A little bit? I
32:37
wouldn't say it's dialogue. I think what
32:39
it is, is
32:42
they feel there's something inside them
32:45
that has to let me know. Yeah,
32:47
you gotta know. I don't think they're looking
32:49
to be like, here's
32:51
my feelings about the Second Amendment, where I feel
32:53
we differ, and where I feel we are
32:55
sometimes on the same page. I
32:58
think it's more that, I
33:00
think it's the same as, it's
33:02
a real bumper sticker area. Like
33:04
there's a lot of, like there's
33:07
a dude that has, I mean, it's gotta
33:09
be six foot by nine foot on his
33:11
front lawn with a giant thing that says, fuck
33:13
Joe Biden. Click on
33:15
his front lawn and let people know. Regular
33:19
neighborhood. I always thought you'd change those. I
33:21
was one of those, and when you see something like that, you
33:23
always think it's going to be like a different message every month.
33:26
Jesus loves, he's consistent.
33:31
But there's something about that, something
33:33
inside them that says, I
33:37
need everyone to know in
33:39
the clearest, most concise way possible, who
33:41
I am. And
33:45
it's like that bumper sticker. I
33:47
think they don't want me to
33:49
maybe misconstrue that he might be
33:51
liberal, or Democrat,
33:53
or progressive, or anything other
33:55
than, don't tread on me. I've
33:57
seen more signs like that.
34:00
that over the course of
34:02
the last few years, I'm saying nationwide where
34:04
somebody goes like here's who
34:06
I, you know, big proclamation.
34:09
I feel like that's not something
34:11
that we saw as much 25 years
34:13
ago in as many front lawns
34:15
where people would know. Because what are you going
34:17
to like in the Herbert Walker Bush. I'm
34:20
one of the thousand points of light. Like
34:23
now you'll see houses going at
34:25
each other. Like you
34:27
know, blue lives matter flag, MAGA don't
34:29
tread on me. Hate has
34:31
no home here. Stop Asian
34:33
hate. Yes. And they'll be next door to
34:36
each other and you just think this is like
34:38
these. I think they spend their days. But do
34:40
you feel like it's some of like kind of
34:42
like a boiling point? Like it's like things are
34:45
firing up more for people. I
34:49
think with almost everything it's
34:51
at a point. I do think that
34:54
social media is the kind
34:56
of accelerant and the
34:58
algorithm is a kind
35:01
of accelerant that radicalizes
35:04
populations in a way that we
35:06
haven't experienced in the way of
35:08
like so AI is
35:10
a radically new technology that's going
35:13
to change the way that we
35:15
live our lives and do all these things as
35:17
was the industrial revolution. But
35:19
the industrial revolution played
35:22
itself out over decades.
35:25
And so yeah, did we go from
35:27
horses to cars and then cars to
35:29
highways? But that plays out in
35:33
an analog kind of a way. You
35:36
can chart its course and its
35:38
growth. Digital
35:40
growth, that kind of geometric growth
35:44
is really hard for a population to
35:46
catch up to. And
35:48
I think any new technology like that creates
35:51
disruption. The
35:54
speed of it is
35:56
I think what's different and leads to
35:58
that. feeling of
36:02
explosiveness and disillusionment
36:05
and not quite understanding, you know, how many
36:07
times were we told, but they
36:09
say to people with globalization, like, it's
36:11
okay if your family have been coal miners for
36:13
three generations, you'll learn to program.
36:15
And you're like, I don't think I want,
36:17
I think I, like, I have a connection
36:19
to this. Sure.
36:22
That displacement is now happening.
36:25
Like I don't know if you know anybody who's like a grant writer, but
36:28
like you, you want to watch at GPT tomorrow
36:30
and make them obsolete. Like you could just type
36:32
in, you know, it's happening
36:34
so fast. It's so fucking fast. It's so fast.
36:37
And the other thing that is
36:39
like, I think so
36:41
unique in this time is that you
36:43
don't know what
36:46
you're getting from whom at
36:49
any time. So like, whether it's AI
36:51
or bots or, or
36:54
another country's, you know, program
36:56
that they design, like there's so much coming
36:58
at you that, I mean,
37:00
I think personally I went through just like a, a
37:03
fatigue and withdrawal, which I think is kind of normal
37:05
in a way. Do
37:08
you mean from like participating in
37:10
it or participating in like, and consuming
37:13
information? Like, you know, I always felt
37:15
like I grew up in a house
37:17
that was a evening news watching house.
37:20
There was always Time Magazine and Newsweek and,
37:22
and the Times were like part, like that
37:25
was just like normal. There's like a dentist
37:27
waiting room. Yeah, exactly. The highlights
37:29
in one corner and then the other thing.
37:31
And then you just go like, okay, I
37:33
have the information, but information is produced and
37:36
consumed differently now. And then you
37:38
go, and then every time you go, well, is
37:40
this the, the, the place to get
37:42
it from? Then they go,
37:44
well, you don't know, this is actually owned by
37:46
this corporation. And so this actually has an agenda.
37:49
So then you kind of feel like, well, I don't
37:51
know where to get information. And,
37:54
you know, I mean, it all can feel
37:56
overwhelming and where it's from and, and
37:59
always understand that there are
38:01
those whose job it is, is
38:04
to weaponize that confusion. Weaponize,
38:06
yeah. To weaponize that
38:08
delivery system. And again, it's not like
38:11
that's novel. I mean, yellow journalism, shit,
38:13
we got into the Spanish-American war based
38:15
on the Vietnam War and the Gulf
38:17
of Tonkin. And it's like, there's always
38:20
been that misinformation, but
38:22
it didn't travel at the
38:24
speed of light in the way that it
38:27
does now, where
38:29
we're so far behind, and
38:32
we don't have processes in place to
38:36
help establish certain
38:39
guardrails around it. Like Industrial Revolution
38:41
happened that everybody's like, six-year-olds in
38:43
factories, what could go wrong? Yeah.
38:47
And that evolved over time.
38:50
You had the great sort of muckraking
38:52
journalists like Upton Sinclair and Ida Wells and all
38:54
those people that uncovered
38:57
all of these abuses and all of these
38:59
things and helped kind
39:02
of resolve some
39:04
of the, like more devastating results
39:06
of it. But
39:12
I think now it's so fucking fast.
39:14
I mean, there's nothing better than watching
39:17
the Senate committee on AI
39:19
or any of those things. And you
39:21
get like Zuckerberg and-
39:26
Testifying there? Testifying and the guy from AI
39:28
and they're like, so let me get this
39:30
straight. So there's a tube and
39:32
then I speak into the tube and then the
39:34
tube turns it into zeros and ones. Is that what
39:36
I'm trying to understand? And they're
39:38
like, well, it's sort of like that. So where
39:40
did the zeros and ones go? Why do I
39:43
look at it? It turns into porn. What's happening
39:45
here? Like that's, it's just
39:47
fucking crazy. It's too crazy now, which is why
39:49
are you gonna run for president? Oh,
39:52
I wanted to announce. Okay. And
39:54
I really generally need two bears to make
39:56
an announcement. Yeah, I think it's, but I mean, this
39:58
is such a big one. How
40:00
often do you get asked for that?
40:03
I think anybody that is in the
40:05
space I'm in, I
40:09
always view it as none of the
40:11
above in
40:13
the way of it is a protest
40:16
for the status quo being
40:18
so unsatisfactory for
40:20
people. It's the kind of thing that, like
40:23
I remember this was 15 years ago,
40:26
somewhere along the line, 20 years ago there was a
40:28
poll done. Everybody made a big deal of it. Who
40:31
is the most trusted newsman
40:33
or newscaster in America? And
40:36
it was Tom Brokaw and
40:38
Peter Jennings and Brian Williams
40:41
and Diane Sawyer and
40:43
John Stewart. And John Stewart
40:45
won, running away. And
40:47
I kept trying to explain to people like, I
40:50
could have been dildo wrapped in gold
40:52
and that would have won because what
40:54
people are expressing in that poll is
40:58
I'm dissatisfied with the status quo
41:00
and the establishment delivery of this
41:02
service. They have lost my trust.
41:05
And so people
41:08
in my area, I'm sure
41:10
Marr gets it, Tucker Carlson gets it.
41:13
All the people in the space
41:15
of giving opinions about
41:17
the day's event. I mean, that's honestly,
41:19
how did Trump become president? I was
41:21
about to say, it's the same analysis,
41:23
right? Because everybody who goes, how
41:25
the fuck is this guy president?
41:28
Or how is he getting this support? What
41:31
most people you would hear there are like, he's not like
41:33
these other guys. He's
41:35
not from that political landscape
41:37
where they, and they say the right
41:39
thing. And like he was just this
41:42
wild guy who was saying
41:44
wild things. And then that was exciting
41:46
to people. It was exciting that somebody
41:48
was- And the wilder it would get.
41:50
Yeah. Everybody kept
41:52
saying, now that he
41:54
said that, it's certainly over.
41:57
And everybody's like, he's going up in the. He,
42:00
I think what ended up happening
42:02
there is it
42:04
was like an antibiotic resistant
42:06
strain of something. And
42:09
so people kept saying, well certainly if we
42:11
hit it with strep and if we hit
42:13
it with erythromycin and penicillin, it would have
42:15
to die. Sure. And then it was
42:17
just like, boop, boop, boop. Not even
42:19
close. It's too strong. Too strong. It's way too
42:22
strong. Just keeps going. And now, and I think
42:24
too, it's, you know, it
42:26
seems like everything is being done
42:29
to not have this guy, you know,
42:32
on ballots and.
42:34
Everything other than just
42:37
have a better idea. Just
42:39
fucking beat him. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
42:42
That is not being done. No. But
42:45
all these other things, and I feel
42:47
like if they succeed in getting
42:49
him convicted or off
42:51
pallets, I do think people are gonna lose
42:53
their. I don't
42:56
think they'll succeed getting him off ballots in any way.
42:58
I really don't. I think that chance, I
43:01
think if they had done, and
43:03
again, part of this
43:06
is his understanding of the system.
43:09
Part of his appeal was the system is rigged.
43:12
I think everything he's experienced through
43:14
here is an example of that. Just
43:17
not necessarily the way he, I think it's showing
43:19
if you've got money, doesn't matter
43:21
how many felony counts they throw out. Yeah. You
43:23
can hold that off till you
43:25
get granted complete immunity by becoming
43:27
president of the United States. But
43:31
the difference is somebody
43:34
can be right about a diagnosis and
43:36
wrong about the remedy. So
43:38
like he can diagnose the system as rigged.
43:40
And it obviously is. I mean, when they
43:43
talk about his real estate transactions
43:45
and they talk about, everybody
43:47
comes out and goes, that's just how things are done. Like
43:49
you go to the bank, you lie about what you have,
43:51
they give you more money than they should at a lower
43:53
rate. And then when you go there, you lie about that.
43:55
And then they give you, and you just go like, oh
43:58
really, that's how it is. And.
44:00
So. The. The
44:02
interesting thing is once that gets
44:05
exposed, A reformer comes
44:07
and says I'm in a straighten this
44:09
out. And. Make it
44:11
fairer again, because it's right.
44:14
Special. Interests. He
44:17
I either go to emotional a
44:19
time and there's more defense contractor
44:21
lobbyists. Then there are. People.
44:24
In Congress? Yeah, They're. Outnumbered.
44:27
Sir and they are wined and dined.
44:29
The Argus you know the greatest example
44:31
is like Wall Street. You.
44:34
Know people in yards the senators or
44:37
congressmen as was be progressive was three
44:39
gets away with a shit on because
44:41
they pay. All. Those
44:43
Legislators. This would be
44:45
the place. Where. Reform.
44:48
Would. Have a home New York City.
44:52
And they're all like why should smile Maybe
44:54
the tax should be twenty percent on capital
44:57
gain? I don't know. You know, maybe if
44:59
you have a hedge fund, it shouldn't get
45:01
taxed like Gregor, The money and. So.
45:04
You see how powerful like they don't have
45:06
fucking time. I remember when we went down
45:08
there for. The
45:10
first version of what was called the Pact Act
45:12
which was a toxic exposure act move for veterans.
45:15
So. We got together a bipartisan group
45:17
of congresspeople. We all sat around table.
45:20
And. Of their with regime we were
45:22
tourists were going to lay out like what they've
45:25
been to the last ten years, what was going
45:27
on his military bases, all the terrible health effects
45:29
of the different things with very similar to the
45:31
Nine eleven. We.
45:33
Lay it all out for a compelling, They're all on
45:35
board. And then
45:38
ago. But here's the thing. So
45:40
the so much going on down here, could
45:42
you guys? raided? The
45:46
legislation. Could you write? And
45:50
unlike. Ah,
45:53
i could write a ten minute bit about
45:55
the legislation but i don't know the first
45:57
thing about right a don't know the first
46:00
But in that moment, I thought, oh,
46:03
that's how this shit happens. So
46:06
imagine you're not trying to get healthcare
46:08
for veterans. You're trying to
46:10
get banking regulations eased so that you
46:12
can make derivative swaps on mortgages and
46:15
blow up the world financial system. And you go
46:17
in and you say, oh, this is this thing.
46:19
And it makes time. And they go, it's
46:21
so busy down here. Could you write it? If
46:24
I have to. Right. And
46:26
they write it. Wow. So
46:28
much of the legislation is
46:31
influenced and written by
46:34
the people it's supposedly reigning in.
46:37
And so there's
46:39
like a
46:42
wealth incumbency built into the system
46:44
or a legislative
46:47
incumbency for these larger industries
46:50
that weeds out
46:53
competition. It infuses
46:56
corruption and it's
46:58
really hard to stop. And
47:01
what Trump is saying is, yeah, that system
47:03
is rigged. But what he's not saying
47:05
is, and I'll reform it. What
47:07
he's saying is, so if you don't mind signing
47:10
that deed over to me, I'll
47:12
take care of it. Yeah. And
47:15
that's the part that is that you know,
47:17
he's, he's not interested in a fairer
47:19
system. He's interested in to the victor
47:21
go the spoils. Yeah. He's very
47:24
much, I think, and I think he's actually very
47:26
transparent about that. You know, like I think, I
47:28
think it doesn't
47:31
take a lot to pick that
47:33
up from him. You
47:35
know, yes. Somewhat through
47:37
happenstance, like he'll go down to the billionaires
47:39
at the Mar-a-Lago and be like, don't worry.
47:41
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
47:44
what you said, though, it's so disheartening to
47:47
hear about how the system works. How
47:50
do you keep from being like knowing so much,
47:54
seeing that firsthand and not being so
47:56
cynical and just disheartened by
47:59
everything? You know those,
48:01
they sell them now, it's like mushrooms and chocolate.
48:03
That helps. That helps a lot. A
48:06
little bit. You take just a little bit of that. Nutropic? I
48:08
think that's something along those lines. Sure. They
48:11
come up with the names like Fun Guys. Yeah, yeah. Like that
48:13
kind of thing. Yeah, but it is, right? I mean, it does
48:15
like, yeah, kind of take the wind out of your sails a
48:17
little. Absolutely. Those years
48:20
lobbying down there were
48:22
incredibly dispiriting. And I
48:24
was a drop-in. Yeah. Like
48:27
I came in to provide air support for people.
48:29
They were there every day.
48:31
Like I ended up feeling like my
48:33
role was to go down there and
48:37
almost like USO shows. They've
48:40
been in the trenches, so I'm gonna go down
48:43
there and be like, yeah, duh, duh, duh, duh,
48:45
duh, duh, duh. And kind
48:47
of fire them
48:49
up and think of ways around
48:52
this really stultifying
48:55
status quo. Everybody
48:57
has establishment thinking. They
48:59
literally call the way bills are passed, regular
49:01
order. You have to go through regular order.
49:03
And you're like, but if we go through
49:05
regular order, all these people
49:07
are going to die. So
49:10
why don't we do not regular order?
49:13
Like when I ended
49:15
up testifying in front of Congress, the
49:17
whole, not the firefighters and the cops,
49:20
but all the congressional people were like,
49:22
just don't like, just
49:24
be cool. Like everything's going fine. Like don't
49:27
rock the boat. And
49:29
then the other guys would come up to me and be like, John,
49:32
you gotta fucking tell these people what's going
49:34
on. Cause John, it's
49:36
a fucking nightmare. So
49:39
I felt a responsibility to
49:41
them to not let them down in
49:43
front of, but
49:45
I think what happens is they get ensconced
49:48
in this really protected
49:51
system and
49:53
they lose sight of the
49:56
people that they're supposedly there to
49:58
kind of represent. that and
50:00
they're only responding to either
50:03
media prompts or
50:05
lobbyist prompts or
50:07
activist prompts like I'm talking about political
50:09
activists like right-wing, left-wing activists and those
50:11
are the only three groups that you
50:13
would imagine have influence. But
50:17
most people are fucking busy like think about
50:19
like for taxes, right? The Democrats always
50:21
say like we need to tax billionaires. Okay, but
50:24
what are you going to use it for? Well,
50:26
that's the big knock on
50:28
the Dems usually. It's just like just more
50:30
programs, right? But
50:32
what are those programs and who cares just
50:34
spend? Right. I mean, that's kind
50:37
of the thing that I always
50:39
felt they needed to do was tie
50:41
spending to value.
50:44
Like if you talk to people and you
50:47
want to know what would help because
50:50
most people at I think in
50:52
the general area
50:55
of like what you would consider middle class, maybe a little lower
50:57
than middle class, a little above middle class are
50:59
stuck in this weird trap, which
51:01
is I work till
51:04
I'm fucking 40 or 50 till
51:06
my kids are going to college. Now
51:09
I'm paying for their college, but
51:11
just at that moment, my fucking
51:13
parents are getting sick
51:16
and all of a sudden now I'm paying
51:18
for them while I'm trying to
51:20
pay. So now I'm in debt on
51:23
the college for the kids while also maybe going
51:25
into a little bit of a debt for
51:28
the parent. So now everything that you
51:30
built up all that equity, right?
51:32
Over those 20 years of work is
51:35
gone. Yeah. And what
51:37
you really could have used was education
51:40
that didn't cost so much, maybe some
51:42
fucking childcare, maybe some fucking elder care,
51:45
something that connects to your life.
51:48
And it feels like we live
51:50
in a place where that seems like it
51:53
should be possible to
51:55
do. No reason why not. It
51:57
makes no sense. But you'd have to
51:59
take care. from some other program, right?
52:01
Like that's the whole thing is no. I don't
52:03
know if it's a question of not having resources
52:05
as much as it is not directing them in the
52:07
right way. So I think
52:09
some of it is like, even if you look at food
52:11
stamps, right? So food stamps
52:14
ostensibly is like a pretty good program. Like
52:16
people, first of all, there shouldn't be food
52:18
insecurity in a country as rich as this.
52:20
Right. That's just ridiculous. But
52:24
the really strange part of it to
52:27
me is food
52:29
subsidies, food stamps
52:31
are really a subsidy to
52:33
like Kraft or
52:35
Nabisco or the giant food conglomerates
52:39
because the majority of
52:41
the foods that people are buying are
52:43
these ultra processed, shitty box
52:45
foods. That's where the stamps are going.
52:47
Right. They're going to
52:50
sodas and shitty foods that go right
52:52
into PepsiCo. Like we
52:55
don't do anything that doesn't have a
52:57
middleman with a corporate owner
53:01
to it. So all that
53:03
government money goes, it's really
53:05
their subsidies. Like why is there corn
53:07
syrup and everything? Yeah. It's
53:09
a fucking government just paying farmers for, and
53:13
then they're just giving the corn syrup and
53:15
fruit toast to like, and
53:17
so what do they do? They give us all
53:20
fucking diabetes. Yeah. And
53:22
then what's the next step? Yeah. Big
53:24
Pharma comes in. We got your back. And
53:27
now you're in the cycle. Yeah. They're
53:29
literally combating the drug of ultra processed
53:31
food with the drugs from Big Pharma.
53:34
This is the trap that so many
53:36
people get locked into. Yeah. Yeah.
53:39
And what are we getting for it? All that money that
53:41
we go in, and we have the highest drug prices in
53:43
the world. So
53:48
that's when people go like, yeah, this
53:50
system is rigged, but
53:53
you can't change it because
53:55
that's socialism. Right. If
53:58
you do it any other way, no, you have. You have to
54:00
let, even Obamacare, the
54:03
fucking, that the right complaints about, is
54:06
basically a giveaway to insurance companies. What
54:09
the government is saying is, how about we just give you a
54:11
shit ton of money? And
54:14
with that shit ton of money, you'll cover people
54:16
that maybe you wouldn't normally cover, and you can
54:18
still give them a $5,000 deductible. And
54:21
they can still go to hospitals where you don't even know where
54:24
the charges are coming from. And
54:26
even that. Yeah. Are
54:29
we really suggesting, like, I'm
54:32
not saying you don't want to have like
54:34
private corporations and private property and innovation and
54:36
all those different things, but
54:39
do we have to subsidize it? But
54:41
do you think anybody will ever
54:43
actually step in and really
54:46
disrupt this cycle? Look what Cuban did.
54:49
With the pharmaceutical company? Yeah,
54:51
that was amazing. That
54:53
company- That can be done everywhere. Yeah.
54:57
Yeah, for people that don't know, Mark
54:59
Cuban started this pharmaceutical
55:02
company that he
55:05
found out which meds there
55:07
were accessible to
55:10
kind of to buy and do like a kind
55:12
of a minimal marginal markup
55:14
on. And then-
55:17
And which ones were crazy marked up
55:19
and which ones were being artificially withheld
55:21
and all kinds of- It's basically fair
55:24
priced drugs essentially. Which
55:26
is a- They
55:28
put old people on buses
55:30
to Mexico. Yeah. To jet,
55:32
like insulin. It's crazy. Right.
55:35
It's crazy. But when you get down there, you
55:37
go, oh, I know how this happened. Because
55:40
they have access to
55:42
the people who write the laws.
55:44
The laws don't need to be
55:46
a thousand pages. The
55:49
complexity of our tax code wasn't
55:52
put there by poor people. The
55:54
complexity of our legislation wasn't
55:57
put there by poor people. It's put
55:59
there by the law. obvious in the industries that
56:01
are carving out loopholes
56:03
and safe spaces and extra ways they
56:06
can make money to keep it coming
56:08
in. Yeah, it's it's cartel shit really
56:10
cartels shit. Yeah. Yeah. I
56:13
think the only solution for all this is probably the rock
56:15
maybe being running for president. There's very little
56:17
so once the
56:20
rock teamed up with Roman Reigns. Yeah. That's
56:22
when I realized like, Oh, he can't be stopped. No,
56:24
like when they were rivals. That's a
56:27
totally different time. No, you've had a you've
56:29
stepped in the ring before. Sure. Sure.
56:32
I have. Did you did you see that tape? Yeah,
56:34
it's brutal. Really? The things you'll
56:36
do now your kids, the eight
56:38
year old, is he into that yet? No,
56:41
he's really into a Minecraft,
56:44
the game and roblox. The thing that you
56:47
will do, which was funny is that so
56:49
I found out, man, I had like a
56:52
week and not even I was
56:54
on the road. They had their spring. Two weeks
56:56
spring break. Yeah. You guys get
56:59
two weeks. I don't remember getting two weeks. Not at
57:01
that age. No. And so on I had this
57:03
crazy idea. I was like, what if I they're filming
57:05
the Minecraft movie in New
57:07
Zealand? And I was
57:09
like, Oh my God. I
57:12
hit up Jason
57:15
Momoa who's in the movie. No.
57:18
He's like, Come on down. So I flew
57:20
him there and I take my eight year
57:22
old to New Zealand. And
57:24
I'm like, we're going
57:27
to see the Minecraft set. He's like, Oh, cool,
57:29
cool. And then he walks on. He's like, Holy
57:31
shit. This is what I'm like, right? And
57:33
then he's like, all right. What do you
57:36
want to do now? Like, this is it, dude.
57:38
And then what do you want to do? Yeah.
57:44
I'm like, this is all this is. No, no, no. We're
57:47
here. New Zealand. 16
57:49
hours. Right. Right. He
57:53
was like, oh, this dog's fucking awesome.
57:56
He Played with the dog. You
58:00
can take it into the As Pfcs and then
58:02
the next sales legs are second day here will
58:04
you unreasonably with a dog again. A
58:07
plan to the odds are as well. Thanks
58:09
for having us. That
58:11
flew back some of the really the Micah
58:13
as a look. cool. Love. That
58:15
dog. As a dogs the shit. Yeah, great. And.
58:18
It's and it's only. Boys.
58:21
And started that's I know as a grad
58:23
yes you're like on your third date where
58:25
you're like and then we salute of diarrhea
58:27
exactly when I align your like are you
58:30
so superman? You're never gonna Now I know
58:32
it and I you know I realize it's
58:34
like a lot of i think in terms
58:36
of gifts a lot alike Gift Yeah that's
58:38
nice. You know it's like when am I
58:41
guess my love language ah but I I
58:43
do the real thing You realize when you're
58:45
into these is in the type a gift
58:47
giving the the gift is for you. it's
58:50
you going. You'd give it to
58:52
somebody. Yeah, it's your excitement of blades.
58:54
yeah, feels great, feels good, and when
58:56
you mail it, yet when you ala
58:58
useless. but I'm yeah, he was just
59:01
like Eos. that's it and it's is
59:03
gonna and. What's. So
59:05
interesting is. The. Joy
59:07
you feel being able to like.
59:09
I made the mistake of whatever
59:11
show my kids were into. I.
59:14
Would try and get on it for seen
59:16
A Just did it with is a cake
59:18
the Netflix searches do that sees his agenda.
59:20
Kids like edges are they do. They still
59:22
like it as a May Maybe you know
59:24
they were into the episode they watched in
59:27
an ear for the i didn't figure and
59:29
production time yeah season. All the things your
59:31
kids loved. It was a thing called. Jax.
59:34
Big Music suffers. I did. I did.
59:36
Jax is called Jax Big Music Shows is
59:38
great! It was like this
59:40
super odd. Little. Puppet music
59:43
show them and the kids.
59:45
Loved. It and I lot like. Once.
59:48
They move on from like Little Bear
59:50
and tie you an odd shit into
59:52
like Sponge Bob and good stuff. Yeah
59:54
when you like it's awesome. Yeah so
59:57
they do this. Eye contact. The
59:59
show I fly. The out to Chicago
1:00:01
the tape and started and nicest people
1:00:03
you'd ever want to me and super
1:00:05
talented and very musical. Nick got all
1:00:08
these puppies and do think so. I
1:00:10
did the Ground Hogs Day episode I'm
1:00:12
Bronx Daniel Gruber, the weatherman of The
1:00:15
Thing. We tape it
1:00:17
or leave after edited and you
1:00:19
know do something. A hollow rector
1:00:21
it out and take and by
1:00:24
the time it comes out. The.
1:00:28
Likes of I was assuming you were on
1:00:30
the Wizards of Waverly Place. Yeah yeah, that's
1:00:32
an area so then I shall it them
1:00:34
know like. Ha! Ha!
1:00:39
I reminisce you like was a
1:00:41
dog I was like iso to
1:00:44
Chicago to to is a disease
1:00:46
and passengers. And
1:00:48
I was always like six months
1:00:50
to a year. Behind
1:00:52
on it the switching. Yeah, but
1:00:54
the W W E. Data.
1:00:58
Data. And Maggie was different. Like. She
1:01:01
didn't at by the interest she added. that
1:01:03
stuff is like horses yeah and I didn't
1:01:05
know what. like I couldn't be like. Let's
1:01:07
go to The Derby. Yikes! I, you know,
1:01:10
My grandfather like died and an ot be so
1:01:12
I guess I could have gone mayor. You
1:01:15
know there a family history ah by both
1:01:18
your son you nailed it with though you
1:01:20
the we. He was so
1:01:22
like. We. Would go on vacation and
1:01:24
he would have a knapsack. Like.
1:01:27
That. He didn't. And then we
1:01:29
would get down we be like where your clothes he's like
1:01:31
on how many cause i'm like what's in your knapsack is
1:01:33
like. A action figures it be
1:01:35
just filled with Roman Reigns and Seth
1:01:38
Rollins and really are Yeah so when
1:01:40
you did it he he lost his
1:01:42
mind. That's. Awesome! See.
1:01:46
So. I've gone to a feud with
1:01:48
Seth Rollins. And so she
1:01:50
got really into that. And.
1:01:53
We. Did it saying at the
1:01:55
Prudential Center in Newark? Were. Seth.
1:01:58
rollins of these two little guys J and
1:02:00
J security and there are two
1:02:02
bar guys who wear these suits. So
1:02:04
I dressed Nate in a
1:02:06
ball cap and suit. He was going to be my
1:02:08
J and J security. When
1:02:10
I confronted Rollins in the ring, Nate
1:02:15
gets all dressed up, comes in the thing. Nate
1:02:18
has an undiagnosed health condition at the time
1:02:21
that we don't know what it is,
1:02:23
but he's been having these episodes. We
1:02:26
get to the arena. He
1:02:29
becomes violently
1:02:31
ill. So
1:02:33
I'm in the dressing room,
1:02:35
getting ready to go out. And
1:02:38
like, I have to fake kick Seth Rollins in
1:02:40
the balls. And we got
1:02:42
a whole thing planned out with Nate and
1:02:44
the other security. He's like eight, you
1:02:47
know, I mean, you know, that's
1:02:49
the magical. And
1:02:52
he can't go.
1:02:55
No, he's vomiting.
1:02:57
Like can't move. He's
1:02:59
just lying there. And I'm just sitting there like, well,
1:03:02
I don't want to do it. I
1:03:04
want to do it with you. Yeah.
1:03:07
And so I go
1:03:09
out and I do it and I come back and he's,
1:03:13
it was a night in an arena, Prudential
1:03:17
center of WWE
1:03:19
wrestling, right? Violent, physical.
1:03:22
The only person taken out that
1:03:24
night in a wheelchair was
1:03:26
Nate. He
1:03:28
was so like sick.
1:03:31
He was sick for years. Really? Yeah.
1:03:33
Until we, until we figured it out. But
1:03:36
yeah, it's, it's terrifying. And
1:03:38
did he still look back on that night
1:03:41
as that was,
1:03:43
was he excited that night? Just through
1:03:45
his illness. He's still pissed off about
1:03:47
being sick. Yeah. He's like, I could
1:03:49
have been in the ring. She could
1:03:51
have done. And then it, it, it,
1:03:54
it ended up folding into SummerSlam
1:03:58
in Brooklyn. and Cena,
1:04:01
John Cena was fighting Seth Rollins that night.
1:04:04
And they put on a spectacular
1:04:07
match. I mean,
1:04:09
incredible show. The
1:04:12
athleticism, the drama, the
1:04:14
kickouts, it is one of
1:04:16
those championship
1:04:19
bouts that people talk about.
1:04:21
They start chanting, this is
1:04:23
awesome. And the crowd is- Wow. And
1:04:26
at the end of it, little
1:04:30
Johnny Dipshit runs out,
1:04:34
busts into the match, hits Cena
1:04:36
with a chair, Rollins
1:04:38
pins him. When
1:04:41
I tell you people were
1:04:43
furious at me, really, they're
1:04:46
watching this incredible match. And then some
1:04:48
guys, fucking old dude, like nobody knows,
1:04:50
runs into the ring and hits somebody
1:04:52
with a chair. And people's kids were
1:04:55
calling me and leaving obscene messages. I'm
1:04:57
like, really? So angry.
1:04:59
So that following is really intense,
1:05:01
man. So I had to go back the next
1:05:03
night for Raw. And Cena was
1:05:05
going to confront me in the ring with Ric Flair. And
1:05:09
so they say he's going to hit you with the attitude adjustment,
1:05:11
which is, I don't know if you know the move, but he
1:05:13
puts you over his head, and then he flips you. I'm
1:05:18
56, 57 years old. And
1:05:25
you're like, oh, I am going to get my attitude adjusted by
1:05:27
this. So we
1:05:30
don't rehearse. No. There's
1:05:32
no like, you walk
1:05:34
out into the ring, and they point. And they go
1:05:36
like, yeah, he's going to, this is the ring. That's
1:05:38
where your attitude is going to change right there. OK.
1:05:40
Yeah. So the
1:05:43
show starts. I'm sitting in the back.
1:05:45
They're all going through the thing. They're getting ready. The
1:05:48
WWE doctor comes into my dressing room. He
1:05:51
goes, hey, I just wanted to check in real quick. This is the
1:05:53
doctor. He's going to check you out. So
1:05:55
I assume it's going to be a, you
1:05:58
know, have you broken any pucks? Yeah, he takes
1:06:01
my blood pressure goes a little high See
1:06:06
on the other side And I was like
1:06:09
wait, that's not That's
1:06:11
that's not a that wasn't a doctor. That's yeah, that'd be
1:06:13
like somebody coming in and go like hello How are you?
1:06:15
Let me take your pulse. It sounds good. I'll talk to
1:06:17
you later. Yeah So we
1:06:19
go out there Just
1:06:22
right before I go out there Cena goes just
1:06:24
tuck your chin. I'll do the rest Okay
1:06:28
Down the ring I'm explaining to
1:06:30
him my reasoning for why I denied him the
1:06:32
championship. I wanted to protect Rick flares legacy We
1:06:34
go through the whole thing He
1:06:36
goes well you had your reasons now. I have
1:06:39
my takes off that person lifts me up on
1:06:41
his shoulders And
1:06:44
he's like six five he's a monster big dude
1:06:47
and That floor
1:06:51
is a floor. Yeah, it's not a
1:06:53
mat. No, it's a floor and
1:06:56
I hit it and I
1:06:59
didn't it was like the light switch from
1:07:01
the top of my head down to my
1:07:03
feet just went like like
1:07:08
Like a like a lightning shot And
1:07:10
I'm lying on the ground and they said it's like, you
1:07:13
know, just act like you're out of it And
1:07:15
I was like I'm out of it And
1:07:18
the one thing I learned about it is if you
1:07:20
are gonna get the attitude adjustment in the ring Fucking
1:07:24
tuck in your shirt. Oh,
1:07:27
yeah. I'm lying, you know, this is these
1:07:29
guys are like Olympians Yeah, and I'm just
1:07:31
lying there with like 20
1:07:34
years of Bopka and just sitting in my
1:07:36
stomach thing and just lying there trying to
1:07:38
pull my shirt down and get and I'm
1:07:41
Utterly Disoriented.
1:07:44
Yeah, it worked it It
1:07:47
and then I got I'm done and like
1:07:49
there's my boy He's waiting I come back
1:07:51
into the they call it the gorilla area
1:07:53
That's where all the wrestlers stage and
1:07:56
they're all standing there like you did it kid.
1:07:58
It's like that scene in Goodfellas Yeah You
1:08:00
got pinched, but you did it right. Yeah. Yeah. So
1:08:02
they're all, you know, big show is there and they're
1:08:04
all clapping and a triple
1:08:06
H and yeah, good man. Good man. I'm
1:08:08
just like, thanks. And
1:08:11
my son's just sitting there and he's like, did
1:08:13
that hurt? Like she was literally like, I
1:08:15
think you might be dead. Yeah. And
1:08:18
that doctor's like, Hey, your blood pressure's up. Yeah.
1:08:20
Yeah. No, by the way, no,
1:08:22
didn't hear from the doctor. I'm pretty sure he
1:08:24
wasn't a doctor, but didn't hear from anybody after
1:08:27
that until like, so then they do the
1:08:29
final shot. It's just me sitting on the
1:08:31
steps with my son next to me with
1:08:33
ice on the back. That's the final shot.
1:08:37
Dude, I just did a trampoline for
1:08:39
a photo shoot for Netflix.
1:08:42
And I was like, Hey,
1:08:44
uh, like falling onto the
1:08:46
pad sucked. Yeah. Yeah. It's
1:08:48
hurt. The idea that
1:08:50
those guys, and people are so like wrestling
1:08:52
is big. And you're like, you don't, they're,
1:08:54
I don't know of an entertainer or any
1:08:57
entertainers. Who work harder and
1:09:00
put on more of a show than wrestlers.
1:09:02
When I did, um, I told you that
1:09:04
I went to the undertaker's house. Yeah. And
1:09:07
that was to check out the gym equipment. That was to
1:09:09
check out the gym equipment. Yeah. Yeah. He was just like,
1:09:11
yeah, come to Mark's house. Mark. Um, that
1:09:14
he's just lying there and then walk in. He goes, he
1:09:17
was, I mean, talk about like, he's a big
1:09:19
dude, such a nice guy, such a sweetheart. He
1:09:22
was like, it's an absolute pleasure to have you here today. And I was
1:09:24
like, Oh, but we were talking
1:09:26
about, cause he was, we
1:09:28
were talking about comedy, you know, how it starts.
1:09:31
He was like, you know, what's it like? Like
1:09:33
the early days. And I was telling him about,
1:09:35
you know, shit club weeks and everything. He was
1:09:37
like, yeah. I said, you know, one of the
1:09:39
things that sucks as you get older is when
1:09:41
you do doubles, you know, like two shows a night. I was
1:09:43
like, man, it just fucking starts to wear you out. And
1:09:46
he was like, yeah, he's like, yeah,
1:09:48
I bet. I was thrown off a
1:09:51
cage. He was saying that they used
1:09:53
to do doubles in
1:09:55
his early days. Oh, wow. For the
1:09:57
full, like the show. So like,
1:09:59
they, They do the full wrestling
1:10:01
show, bang, fucking throw all this
1:10:04
shit, clean up, do
1:10:06
it again. Wow. And he goes, so when I got a
1:10:08
little bit of juice, like when I had like, like just
1:10:10
when it was starting, I just told
1:10:12
him, he's like, no more doubles for me. Just
1:10:15
one and nine. But like, that's crazy that they would
1:10:17
be like Thursday in the town,
1:10:19
two shows, drive to another town, two
1:10:21
shows. I mean, physically, I can't imagine
1:10:24
what that would do to you. And now those dudes are masters
1:10:26
and they jump on a bus and then go to the next
1:10:28
place. But they were the
1:10:31
nicest people. I bet. Like
1:10:34
you'd meet like Undertaker when we met him and he
1:10:36
was just couldn't have been the nicer guy, couldn't
1:10:39
have been nicer to my son. All
1:10:41
of them. Like, do
1:10:43
you want to take a picture? They
1:10:45
would talk to him. They would ask
1:10:47
him questions. They would do the poses.
1:10:49
They would, I mean, they were the
1:10:51
nicest, most genuine. There
1:10:54
was this guy's sad because he
1:10:56
has since passed away. But this
1:10:58
dude, Bray Wyatt, whose stick was
1:11:00
kind of like, it was almost
1:11:02
like this supernatural stick. Like
1:11:04
they did the thing where like all the lights go out in
1:11:07
the arena and then all of a sudden
1:11:09
his video would pop up like in, you
1:11:11
know, ghoulish there. They had really long black
1:11:14
hair and his move was the sister.
1:11:17
Oh shit, I'm going to
1:11:19
mess it up. Sister Abilene or something. He
1:11:23
would go upside down and walk like a
1:11:25
spider, like a madman
1:11:28
in the ring, talking
1:11:30
to him back to the
1:11:33
kindest, like
1:11:35
the sweetest, nicest man and
1:11:38
spent a ton of time like hanging
1:11:40
out in the dressing room and talking
1:11:42
to Nate. They were lovely people. That's
1:11:44
so cool. Yeah. It's nice to
1:11:46
hear stories like that. Yeah. Especially from
1:11:49
like big alpha male dudes being like that
1:11:52
nice. There was always a couple that
1:11:54
like, you know, side eye, but almost
1:11:57
to a person, they
1:11:59
were. and they seemed like,
1:12:01
it really seemed like the closest thing to
1:12:03
a traveling carnival. There
1:12:05
was a certain camaraderie
1:12:08
there, they definitely are outside of the
1:12:10
system to some extent. But
1:12:14
they're lovely dudes. That's awesome, man.
1:12:16
Yeah. What do you think your
1:12:18
sons are going to get into?
1:12:20
Is it going to be football,
1:12:22
basketball, baseball? I had that thing
1:12:24
where I thought having boys, that
1:12:26
they, I watched football with my dad. They'd be you.
1:12:29
Yeah. So I was like, football. And they actually come
1:12:31
in the room and go, Oh God,
1:12:34
please turn this off. I'm
1:12:36
like, so bummed out. What
1:12:39
are they into? So sports-wise, the only thing
1:12:41
they actually really enjoy is going to Jujitsu.
1:12:43
So they like that. Oh, okay. But they
1:12:45
are into like, just, you
1:12:47
know, we just started showing them some shit
1:12:49
we shouldn't probably like Ace Ventura and,
1:12:52
you know, like, like dumb and dumb. Like all these,
1:12:54
like... I thought you were going to be like, 50
1:12:56
shades of gray. Shoot
1:12:58
down, boys. They're into like, you know,
1:13:00
certain cartoons and they like, they, kids
1:13:03
have this capacity to
1:13:06
rewind a moment. Like, I
1:13:08
just keep watching it. And I'm like, we just saw
1:13:10
it 50 times. Have they, have they
1:13:12
hit Phineas and Ferb yet? Or are they still... Phineas
1:13:16
and Ferb is a great one. Is
1:13:18
it? Okay. And then they do, they
1:13:20
still, they do love Minecraft and Roblox.
1:13:22
Yeah. Right. They love those. And those
1:13:24
are like random video games. Yeah. Are
1:13:26
they into yet the, what
1:13:29
was the like, the first like, sort
1:13:31
of first person video games, was like Lego
1:13:33
Batman or Lego Star Wars? Yeah. Those are
1:13:36
good ones. Those are good ones, huh? Yeah.
1:13:38
Yeah. I'm scared to get, because I see
1:13:40
how much it sucks them in. Right. To
1:13:42
give them too much. Like we try to
1:13:45
go outside and do that. Oh, we also
1:13:47
just like, you know, books, a lot of
1:13:49
books. Yeah. We did a lot of books.
1:13:51
They're a big thing at night is tell
1:13:54
us a story. And then
1:13:56
I'm like... I'm kidding about the books. Oh yeah. No, no books. You
1:13:58
gave them Lego Batman. That was the end of it. Okay. Yeah,
1:14:00
no book. They don't hate. Did they really say tell
1:14:02
us a story? Yeah. And then they go, I always
1:14:04
have to go like, what kind of story? And they're
1:14:06
like, either one where you pooped or
1:14:09
like, where you got trouble doing
1:14:12
something. And I'm like, they
1:14:14
have to be fantastical or do you give them real stories?
1:14:16
I. So that's the thing is that one point I was
1:14:18
like, I don't have any more shit stories, man. And
1:14:21
then they go make one up. They tell me
1:14:23
to make one up. I
1:14:27
mean, what a joy for them. Both parents
1:14:29
are comedians, both parents. Yeah. And
1:14:32
they now does your wife, does she put in
1:14:34
like hard jokes or does she go? No, she
1:14:36
leaves most of it. She's there. They'll be like,
1:14:39
dad, take it. Take it away. They're
1:14:42
like, dad gets it because I just go like, and
1:14:44
then I farted. That's more your act. Yeah, yeah. It's
1:14:46
more like what I do. And man,
1:14:48
they're just like they'll even say like, if
1:14:51
we laugh, you win. And I'll
1:14:53
start telling the story. And they'll be like, Jesus, that
1:14:55
was good. You win. Like they just they they love
1:14:57
it. Think about that, though, dude. Like when you were
1:14:59
coming up and you were like,
1:15:01
like, did you ever imagine your
1:15:05
life would be this fucking
1:15:07
full? And like,
1:15:11
you know, comedy is sort of a singular pursuit
1:15:13
on the road. And it
1:15:16
is sometimes it's camaraderie, sometimes they're not. But like the
1:15:18
idea that you could do that, do what you love,
1:15:21
have a family. Yeah. Have those two
1:15:23
imps. Yeah. Begging
1:15:27
you to tell them shit stories. It's amazing. Right.
1:15:29
It's amazing. It's an incredible life. Yeah, it's
1:15:31
an incredible life. And I'm so glad that you
1:15:33
get to go now and like that
1:15:36
move probably to Austin really opened it up for
1:15:38
you, too. It's been great. It really has been.
1:15:40
It's been great for the family,
1:15:42
for the kids. You could tell they
1:15:44
actually thrive more there. You really can.
1:15:46
Right. The environment. I
1:15:49
don't know. I love living there. I feel like our
1:15:52
work is like, you know, planes and all these
1:15:54
like different things. Going back
1:15:56
home there is nice. Right. Very nice.
1:15:58
And it's become like. Like
1:16:00
isn't Rogan's Club there now? It's
1:16:02
hot. Yeah. So he's got
1:16:04
his club. There's probably a other. They're speaking the
1:16:06
cave. They opened one there. You know, they started
1:16:08
here and they have one there. There's
1:16:12
a sunset room, I think that... And
1:16:14
there's enough people to like sustain it. Yeah.
1:16:17
Then there's a cap city moved, but they
1:16:20
have a club open. Yeah. There's
1:16:22
a lot of stuff. There's a real scene in Austin.
1:16:24
Right. Yeah. That's
1:16:27
great. Yeah. And then you're back
1:16:29
to your daily show schedule. So I was thinking
1:16:31
of doing Mondays. That's
1:16:33
already done. Oh, then we're good. No
1:16:35
more. No, dude. No more.
1:16:38
Look at me. You think I can maintain this beautiful
1:16:41
physique and great supple skin
1:16:43
without doing too
1:16:45
many? No, it's what's nice
1:16:47
about it too. It's like it kind of, it
1:16:49
just sort of, it was
1:16:51
just like a reboot of the direction. They'd been going
1:16:53
for like two years. There was the writer strike. There
1:16:55
was a bunch of guests. So it was like, now
1:16:58
it's sort of, I think the staff feels
1:17:00
like they just needed to recenter and
1:17:03
they got all these really talented correspondents and now
1:17:05
they're getting a chance to like... So they'll name,
1:17:07
is someone going to get named as the permanent?
1:17:09
I mean, I think ultimately, but
1:17:12
in the moment now, it's just about
1:17:14
getting through this election year with the
1:17:17
kind of infrastructure that they have now. Were people, when
1:17:19
you're on your first day back in the room, do
1:17:21
you have to like put people at ease? I imagine
1:17:23
they'd be like, oh shit, like how do I... I
1:17:27
mean, that's always like, I'm that, I try to, I'm
1:17:30
that way anyway. Sure. Which
1:17:32
is strange because I am also very much an
1:17:34
introvert. So it doesn't
1:17:36
come naturally to me. And when I'm done doing
1:17:38
it, I'm exhausted. I bet. Like
1:17:41
there's some people that get energized by people. I'm not
1:17:43
like that. Yeah, I'm not like that at all. But
1:17:48
I was genuinely, it's
1:17:51
been nine years and
1:17:53
a pandemic. And like,
1:17:56
I'm pretty self isolating. So.
1:18:00
Coming. Out and been in a room with
1:18:02
a bunch of smart, funny people. Were.
1:18:04
You can just fuck around as exciting exciting
1:18:06
when you ever. as far as I as
1:18:09
is when we were doing those games. but
1:18:11
when you. Those. We're fun to by
1:18:13
the White House so glad to be able
1:18:15
to do that and I was at you
1:18:17
for no thank you so much that was
1:18:19
awesome on when. When. You
1:18:22
first step the way. And. The
1:18:24
show's going on and you have this. New.
1:18:27
I guess it was as I forget it
1:18:29
did you step way during the election cycle
1:18:31
or right after the ah right before the
1:18:33
election. I feel of yet off our last.
1:18:36
In. August. Be. A
1:18:39
might have been in August. The.
1:18:41
Year before year before, right? Yeah,
1:18:44
Did. When it when things were I to
1:18:46
ramp up would you like be like i
1:18:48
wish I was doing this or know you didn't
1:18:50
notice it? Now you're and I wouldn't miss
1:18:52
it. Like if someone said to me, would
1:18:54
you go back and host the show again
1:18:56
Yeah. I. Would not do that. Know.
1:18:59
Ah, I'm. By. It.
1:19:01
It's sort of like being in a pickle ball
1:19:03
league might it's I your somebody came back to
1:19:05
be like so would you want to get back
1:19:07
on energy bar play soccer again and I got
1:19:10
high size and they and now my to pick
1:19:12
a ball once a week. active odor that be
1:19:14
fun and be fun to hang out with people
1:19:16
for that week over lucky to have human knowledge
1:19:18
doing it as but I'm glad you're doing it
1:19:20
and I hope they rope you into some contract
1:19:22
you can't get out of. ah for a long
1:19:24
now. I'll we get to do more get out
1:19:26
I'll come back out and do and have some
1:19:28
fonts and hopefully. Bart.
1:19:31
Will be there. If if if
1:19:33
is health picks up. For not
1:19:35
dude I'm sad about as it is
1:19:37
is it out of his or his
1:19:39
okay market? Either test the I asked
1:19:41
at the best doctors get yeah I'm
1:19:43
asking the yes elicits more gigs. Debbie
1:19:45
Wasserman get that. Thank you for coming
1:19:48
here. This. Is actually live in
1:19:50
the buildings he lived here are Yeah, it's
1:19:52
really nice. Yeah, thank you. thank
1:19:55
you both thanks for watching as bite bird
1:20:00
However, there are many questions
1:20:03
about experienced
Podchaser is the ultimate destination for podcast data, search, and discovery. Learn More